20
‘Sweet Disposition’
—The Temper Trap
Scott
I help clean up the wrapping paper with Lara’s grandpa. He’s holding a big black trash bag while I place loose pieces of wrapping paper into it. Everyone else is out on the deck eating since it stopped snowing. I offered to help Mr. Mae because I didn’t want him to feel alone.
“Do you and Lara have a thing going on?” he asks in a gruff voice. I don’t think we have a thing going on.
“No, it’s just one-sided,” I answer truthfully. “I really like her.” I really do. He sits down on the couch, patting the seat next to me. He folds his hands together, placing them in his lap before taking a deep inhale.
“Come sit, boy.” I sit down on the plush couch next to him.
I stare at him from the side; he has a bit of coffee caught in his white beard.
“I can tell that girl likes you.” I open my mouth to protest.
“She may not show it, but I can clearly see she does, just by the way she looks at you like she’s in love. I haven’t known you very long, but I can tell you are a sweetheart.” Does Lara really like me?
“It doesn’t make sense, we almost kissed, but she said she didn’t want to ruin our friendship or whatever that means.”
“Do you love her, boy?” Do I? I never thought about love. I mean, I’ve never been in love before, but could it be possible I can feel that way…
“I think so…” I pause for a moment before responding again. “Yes, I do.” I’m in love with Lara Mae.
“You’ve known her forever. That hate you had for her never was hate wasn’t it? You’ve always loved this girl deep down in your heart. I know it. It’s not possible to hate someone and then love them, because if you end up loving them, deep down you always did. I know because I was in your place.”
“Tell me more.”
“Back when I met Grams, I thought I hated her; she was always annoying me—bugging me, it always made me so darn mad, but when someone teased her, I would get even more mad. How dare someone disrespect a woman like that? That’s when I knew I loved her.”
He explains to me, shedding a tear while he thinks about the past.
“Did she like you back?” I ask.
“Not at first, no. It took a while to convince her I was a good man until she finally kissed me at midnight on New Year’s.” New Year's. “I promise you, Lara has a big heart. She won’t be hung up on this college boy much longer.”
“She doesn’t like him anymore.”
“Even better.” He gives me a pat on the back, rubbing softly. I feel tears begin coming out of my eyes. Mr. Mae wraps his arms around me, giving me a big squeeze as I softly let the tears flow out of my eyes. This is so embarrassing.
“Thank you, Mr Mae,” I told him.
“Please call me, grandpa. You earned it.” I nod, pulling back from the hug.
“Okay, grandpa.”
5 years later
‘The Grudge’
— Olivia Rodrigo
Lara
We drove back home in the morning to check on Danny. Doctors said they don’t have any updates, according to Aurora.
Our car ride is silent. Scott is behind the wheel.
He isn’t looking over at me, which is a good thing, I guess.
I mean, we were both crying in each other's arms last night.
I can’t keep living my life for Scott; I need to start living my life for myself.
Scott is the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.
We don’t stop at home first; we go straight to the hospital after the 3-hour drive. I ate Grams cookies from the night before for breakfast.
As we walk into the hospital room, we see an exhausted Aurora. I doubt she’s slept all night.
“Rory, we’ll keep an eye on him for now. Go home and take a nap.” I tell her, she glances up and smiles.
“I’ll be fine,” she says, even though I can tell she won’t.
“I insist.” She takes a deep breath, then nods.
I watch her stand up, she gives me a huge hug.
“I love you, Lara,” she tells me, squeezing on tight.
“I love you, Aurora. Now go rest.” I replace her spot by the bed. The other chair is against the wall. Scott silently goes to sit down on it. I can feel his eyes on me.
“Can we talk about yesterday?” Scott asks. I don’t turn around to look at him; I can’t face him.
“What is there to talk about?” I say, trying to brush it off.
“Everything. I poured my heart out to you. I want to talk about how you feel about everything that happened.”
“I feel like we should remain friends.” I look over at him to see his reaction to my words; his face falls. I watch him look down at his feet as he whispers, “Oh.”
“That’s okay, maybe I should have never confessed.”
“Probably would have been safer.” I’m being such an asshole, and I don’t know why. Why am I acting this bitter to the man I love? I watch him rub his lips together. I can feel the tension inside the room building up.
“I’m just going to leave you alone,” Scott tells me, which is probably for the best. I don’t know if I can move fully into a relationship with him if I can’t forgive him. I can’t push away the past.
**
We stayed at the hospital for a couple more hours. Scott and I didn’t dare speak a word to each other. The atmosphere already feels heavy enough.
“Lara—” Scott begins, but we both freeze when we hear groaning from the bed. We both stand up immediately.
“Where am I?” He looks panicked.
“You had a crash-” I try to explain.
“Where’s Aurora?” His first instinct is to make sure Aurora is okay. That’s just the kind of person he is.
“She’s fine, just resting. Only you were injured.”
“How long was I out?” Danny asks, still trying to adjust to the situation.
“2 days, no major injuries, just hit your head a little too hard, and you were unconscious for two days. The doctors say you're stable.” I explain, even though I have no idea how to explain it. He’s a firefighter.
“Can you call Aurora?” I nod slowly, leaving the room to explain to Aurora that he’s awake. I watch through the window while on the phone, watching Scott comfort and talk to Danny. He looks so caring and compassionate. Maybe he really did change.
I walk back into the room, picking up my bag. “Aurora is on her way, my flight is tonight, so I need to get ready. She will be here in like 10 minutes.” I announce.
“I’m going to go visit my parents if you want to join?” Scott offers, but it’s not a good idea. I don’t want to see his parents right now, yet I really want to see his little sister, Amara.
“No, I'm okay.” I tell him, then begin my way home.
The drive home was torture. The second I turned on the radio some heartbroken song turned on, and I related to every single lyric. I just let the tears flow out. I am so deep in this heartbreak cycle with Scott, I don’t know how it’s going to end, and it kills me.