Chapter 7 – My Archnemesis Has a Dog
Rosalie
It’s not too late to talk, but the timing of Liam’s text could not be worse.
The ping it makes is so loud that we all startle.
I’m sitting on the couch between my sister Kambryn and our neighbor Aubrey.
She’s the unofficial roommate we don’t have room for.
Not that she sleeps here. She’s just over here most evenings because she hates to be alone.
We’re not even watching TV; we’re just bunched together so we can share the ottoman. You can’t really relax at the end of the day unless your feet are up and you’re zoning out to the rhythm of the air conditioner’s light rattle.
“Who was that?” Kambryn asks, nosy as ever. She’s checking the weather on her phone for her run in the morning. I don’t know why she bothers. Today was hot. Tomorrow will be hot. There is zero percent chance of rain all this week. Monsoon season is a myth spread by people who don’t live here.
“Someone named Liam,” Aubrey says, not aware that she’s supposed to be keeping my secrets. I give her a look, and her big brown eyes widen. “Ooh, who’s Liam?”
“My boss,” I admit. Since I’ve turned my phone over so they can’t see my screen, they both lean forward at the same time to telepathically exchange opinions on this.
Aubrey’s heard about my boss. Kambryn tells everyone that I work for someone who’s hot and aloof, like it’s a tragedy I must bear.
Not that Kam has a lot to go on. She’s met him twice, and he didn’t say a whole lot either time. He did look hot, though.
The first time, he was helping us move in. The second time, I was sick, and he came with the kids to bring me a bouquet of flowers and homemade soup. I wouldn’t exactly call my working conditions tragic.
“Why is he texting you so late?” Kambryn asks in a hushed tone.
She’s got her long blonde hair up in a gigantic bun on top of her head, and her green eyes are the most serious I’ve ever seen them.
She won’t admit it, but she’s terrified of still being single when she reaches my ancient age of twenty-nine.
Her solution is to matchmake me at every turn.
Badly. Well, that, and to obsess about anything that might possibly turn into romance and share her findings with Aubrey.
“I don’t know, Kam.”
“Has this happened before? Do we need to cancel your date for this weekend?”
“Yes to your first question, and no to your second.” I sigh, thinking about yet another date.
I’d love to cancel, but I won’t. Everyone is a frog until you find a prince.
That’s my motto. This is a numbers game, and until Liam takes me in his arms for any reason other than to keep me from falling down the stairs, I’m not ready to give up on finding love elsewhere.
Kambryn meets a lot of guys because she works at a gym, plus her boyfriend, Gavin, has a never-ending network of guy friends. I’m grateful that I don’t have to rely on online dating. Mostly.
I do wish she’d turn her attention to finding someone for Aubrey. I’m pretty sure Aubrey’s long-distance boyfriend is fictional, but when she’s ready to “break up” with her fictional boyfriend, she will.
“Are you going to answer Liam?” Aubrey asks, tucking her brown hair behind her ears. She just had it cut and can’t stand the feel of it touching her face, even if she loves the compliments. I know the feeling. I live for ponytails.
Both girls are staring at my phone, which is still turned over in my lap. It would be nice if they could at least pretend they don’t plan to read along.
“You two are the worst roommates ever.”
Aubrey shrugs, not bothering to correct me with the fact that she’s not actually a roommate.
Kambryn pretends she’s putting on a crown. “First and worst, baby.”
She and I have been sharing a room since her birth, so she really is my first roommate. We have three older brothers who also had to share a room. That doesn’t mean she needs access to everything going on in my life.
Not that there’s anything to tell. This text is about the kids. Or it’s a calendaring thing.
I flip my phone over and quickly answer.
Rosalie: It’s not too late.
Three seconds after sending, my phone rings. Well, this is different. My curiosity is officially piqued. We usually conduct business over text.
“Is that him? I thought he had a girlfriend.”
I get up and stalk down the hall, needing to be away from Kambryn’s questions before I answer.
Once in our shared bedroom, I grab the sound machine, put it in the hallway, and then lock myself in.
We really should upgrade to a place with two bedrooms, but we love this neighborhood, our neighbor/extra roommate (most days), our amazing kitchen, the shared pool, and our friendly landlord who doesn’t charge us nearly enough.
He even let us paint our walls a calming soft blue.
Before the call can go to voicemail, I hit accept. “Hello?”
“Rosalie, sorry to bother you this late. I had an interesting conversation with Wyatt. He said you guys talked about getting a dog and you were all for it?”
I love that Liam knows to launch right into it without the pretense of small talk, but I’m immediately defensive, because I did everything in my power this afternoon to not talk about getting a dog.
At one point, I started a water fight to avoid it.
I got them extra popsicles and then had to mop up the floor from our dirty, wet feet tracking back and forth across the kitchen. That kid is so busted.
Also, this call is 100 percent about the kids. I was right. I’m always right when it comes to these things. I would really love to be less of a know-it-all.
“So, Wyatt did try to ask about getting a dog. I refused to talk to him about it. I told him it was a topic he’d have to bring up with you.”
Liam sighs. “I am so sorry.”
“I would never encourage your kids to ask for something like that.”
“I know. It was so unlike you, but he was adamant that it was your idea. No wonder he volunteered to shower right after. He even told me you agreed with him that big dogs are better than little barky ones.”
“Oh, I did say that. My archnemesis in high school had a mini Yorkie she’d dress up in tutus.”
There’s no response, and it makes me die a little inside. He didn’t take the bait. I brought up something outside of my job, and his force field shot into place.
I want a real conversation with him. I want the Liam I got a glimpse of Friday night. And that’s a really dumb thing to hope for. Not to mention, if I keep trying, he’ll see right through me. “So, let me know what you deci—”
“You had an archnemesis?”
I’ve never been happier to be cut off. The guitar riff from the Top Gun theme song plays in my head, and I do a little victory dance around the room using choreography from my middle school cheer halftime show.
I am so glad Kambryn and Aubrey can’t see me right now.
Sometimes the best performances in life have no audience.
“Well, I didn’t want one, but I guess I stole her favorite parking spot one day and then took the chemistry lab partner she planned to pick.
He was, in her words: ‘a hot nerd who would totally do all the work.’ Actually, he was kind of a control freak, and I would have preferred someone who knew how to take turns.
I’m sorry. My stories always have detours in them, especially when I’m nervous. ”
I slap a hand over my mouth. There is seriously something wrong with me when it comes to Liam. Now that I’ve gotten a taste of what his full attention is like, I want it worse than any bad kid who’s ever acted out.
“I, uh, like that your stories have detours. So, what’s the difference between an archnemesis and a bully?”
“Good question. Retaliation is the difference. She told everyone I was dating the fifty-year-old school janitor, and I got called into the principal’s office and had to clear the poor man’s name along with my reputation.
So, I, um, spread a rumor that the school board was going to ban all animals from campus, and she went down to the meeting and caused a scene, not knowing that the school had already banned pets in class years before.
They’d just turned a blind eye to her little purse dog, and so after that, she had to leave him at home.
Now that I know more about support animals, I kind of feel bad about that. ”
“Am I allowed to take sides in this?”
“Absolutely.”
“I’m on her side.”
“Booo!”
“You stole her lab partner. But in all seriousness, your story brings up a good point. Wyatt is a lying liar, and he definitely owes you an apology, but do you think he might actually need a dog in his life?”
“No way, Liam. I’m not giving an opinion on this.”
“You’re allowed to have one, Rosalie. You’re just not allowed to share it with my kids.”
“Rude!” He’s messing with me again, and it makes me braver than I normally would be. “I’ll give you my opinion, but only as a friend.”
“Why is that?”
“That way, if my advice is bad, it’s not like you paid for it or anything.”
“You should definitely bill me for this conversation.”
I plop onto my white comforter and lay my head back on a pillow, holding in a sigh.
That sounded almost playful, and I’m both terrified and exhilarated by how easy it is to talk to him.
The rapport was always there; we just never did much with it.
And now we have. This is big, and it’s all I can do to stay in the moment and not overthink it. The man needs real advice.
“Have you ever had a dog before?”
“No. My parents are not pet people. We had a fish tank, but they were decorations. I didn’t tell anyone I had names for all of them, although our maid, Isela, probably suspected.
She showed me how to get rid of the smudges from my fingers on the glass.
I wouldn’t even know how to take care of a dog. ”
“You could learn. I think it would be good for Wyatt, but only if it was good for you, too. If you resented the dog, he’d know.
Also, he needs some added chores and a conversation or two about lying, and maybe the virtue of patience.
Also, I think you should have him clean up after the neighbor’s dog for at least a week. ”
“This is your opinion as my friend?”
“No, I slipped into nanny mode again.”
“Well, being friends is new for us. I, uh, I have to go. I’ll leave you a note about consequences. It will be under the calendar page, okay?”
“Okay, bye.”
We’re friends! I’m grinning from ear to ear, and it isn’t until Kambryn hollers, “That didn’t sound like a work call,” that I realize she and Aubrey turned off the sound machine. I love them with all my heart, but they really are the worst.