Chapter 30 – Is It Wise?
Liam
“Thank you so much for dinner, Mrs. Campbell. It was delicious.” Rosalie gives the kids quick hugs and makes for the door, giving me a scowl when I follow.
“I’m going to walk Rosalie out to her car,” I call over one shoulder, not bothering to look at anyone’s reactions. I don’t care at this point. They can think whatever they want about us.
With her ten second head start, Rosalie has made good time. I have to jog to catch up with her. Even then, she just keeps on walking.
“Ro, wait.”
“Nuh-uh.” She shakes her head. “Just let me go home. I’ll be there in the morning. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Of course I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about you. I’m sorry about my parents. I’m sorry about… me.”
She pauses next to the fountain, watching the gurgling water coming out of the top. “I told you to ignore me in there, and you didn’t. That’s what I wanted from you.” She sighs. “I don’t know what I want, actually.” Her eyes start to water, and she strides off toward her car again.
“Rosalie.” It’s unfair that my strides are almost twice the length of hers. I reach her before she gets to her car.
“What?” She sniffs and stands taller.
“I told my mom not to order you around, and she took that as a sign that something more was going on between us. It didn’t help that Jack insinuated it first. I’m sorry I didn’t say something to her a long time ago, back when if she accused me of having feelings for you, I could have told her she was crazy. ”
Rosalie nods slowly. “It’s good to know you didn’t have feelings for me while you were dating other people.”
“I kept my distance so it would never be an issue.”
“And that was wise. It would still be wise. We both want me to keep working for you. I love your kids.” Her voice breaks on the last part, and she immediately turns away from me and digs her keys out of her purse, hitting the unlock button several times so her car is extra unlocked.
“Is it wise, though?” I close the space between us until it’s mere inches keeping us apart. “To keep pretending?”
She’s staring into my neck, not willing to meet my gaze, and her frustrated breath tickles my skin. “You are being very unfair right now, Liam Campbell.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I broke up with Brennan when I realized I liked you more than I should.”
“I thought it was because he ruined movie endings.”
“That too. But mostly, it was you.” Our eyes finally meet, and I see so much longing that mirrors my own.
When I lower my face to hers, she closes her eyes.
My pulse is drumming in my ears, but I pause a few seconds more, making sure this is what she wants.
She’s still clutching her car keys like she might dash away any second.
“This is a stupid idea,” she murmurs, right before she presses her lips to mine, done waiting on me.
Her arms go up around my neck, and I bring her closer, holding her to me with my arms around her waist. She’s trembling from head to toe, but her kiss is determined.
I feel the last of my walls crumbling at my feet.
She tastes like surrender. Rosalie is everything good and wonderful, something I knew on an emotional level, but now I know it in a whole new way.
Just like our conversations, it’s like we’ve done this before, like our perfect chemistry was created a long time ago and just sat simmering until we were ready for it.
When things reach a boiling point, she pulls away and stares at me in wonder, but when I smile, her eyes fill up again, and that’s when she bolts.
Without a word, she gets into her car and locks it, gripping the steering wheel.
I’m torn between pulling on the handle like a stalker and giving her space.
Unfortunately, my kids start calling my name from the front door, and when I turn to call back to them, Rosalie starts up her car and leaves.
I have no idea what she’s thinking right now, but I have a pretty good idea of what I need to do next.
I take in a deep breath, still shaken up in the best way.
I pull out my phone and scroll down to Esther’s name. One of Esther’s greatest qualities is that if you tell her you need something and it’s the type of thing that would make people ask questions, she doesn’t ask any. I call her while I’m walking back to the house.
“Hey, are you home?” I ask after she picks up.
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“Could you take the kids this weekend starting tonight? It’s important.”
“Of course.” Her subdued tone matches my own, but like I predicted, she doesn’t press me for details, she just calls out to Daniel to tell him the news. I’m glad he’s home. They’ll have more of a regular schedule with him around.
“What do you need me to send?” I ask.
“A nice outfit in case we go out to eat and, um, whatever toothpaste it is that Callie prefers. She doesn’t like the kind I bought. And swimsuits. Definitely send swimsuits.”
I give her an estimated time of arrival and go to gather up the kids, making sure they hug everyone goodbye and get all their things.
Callie almost leaves her grubby giraffe behind.
My mother brings it out to her, holding it out with two fingers.
I take a painful hit to the heart, thinking of Rosalie.
I come with a lot of baggage, including an ex-wife, a disapproving mother, and two kids. Rosalie’s familiar with all of it, but still. I got caught up in the moment without thinking about how we’re going to transition from boss-employee to wherever it is we’re headed.
She said she didn’t know what she wanted. I believe her. She might like me, but that doesn’t mean she wants to upend everything to be with me. My former doubts are creeping in, but I can’t dwell on any of that right now. First, plans.
There are some work meetings I need to cancel, and I let Andrew know I’m using a vacation day.
The kids take the news of going to their mom’s house with enthusiasm, until it comes to whether or not they can bring their new musical instruments along with them.
I win out. The instruments are in my trunk, and they’re not coming out.
Esther dodged a bullet and she doesn’t even know it.
The stuffed animals are blocking the entire back window.
It took a lot to even make them fit in the Yukon.
Once we’re home and I’ve unleashed the stuffed animals from the back seat and packed up the kids’ things, we drive to Esther’s. I squeeze Wyatt and Callie both tightly and kiss their heads, and then it’s just me and the silence in my car.
I don’t dread a set-down from Rosalie. I welcome it.
And I don’t want it in letter form. I want it thrown in my face.
I want all those things we haven’t been saying to each other to finally be said.
Rewinding our conversation, I realize two things.
One, she’s had feelings for me for a while.
Two, it hasn’t been that long since I broke up with Maggie.
I can see how that might give her pause.
My feelings about Rosalie are complicated, involving a lot of denial and careful ignoring. And then there are the doubts about myself I’ve carried around with me like a battered trophy. I wasn’t looking for the right person because I didn’t think I could be the right person for someone else.
I’ve always been a fan of Rosie’s. I love her mind, her sense of adventure, her caring nature, and let’s face it, her looks. She’s so beautiful; it’s hard to remember how I brushed it aside for so long. Admiration and adoration are closer than one might think.
At home, I sink into a kitchen chair, unbutton my collar, and send her a text.
Liam: Kids are at Esther’s until Sunday evening.
Rosalie: Starting tonight?
Liam: Yeah. Want to talk?
Rosalie: I’m not ready.
I thought she’d say that.
Liam: Tomorrow then? I took off work.
Rosalie: I guess so. My schedule’s pretty open, too.
Three dots pop up right after that, and she quickly sends a follow-up.
Rosalie: That sounded passive-aggressive. Sorry. It’s not like you need to consult me when you change their schedule.
My heart sinks. I completely upended her weekend plans and then sprung it on her. Rosalie lives by her schedule as much as I do. My phone dings again.
Rosalie: You know what? Call me. That sounded passive-aggressive too.
Rosalie: But give me a minute because I need to hide from Kam. She’s totally giving me side-eye.
Only Rosalie would fear being rude more than she fears a confrontation with me.
I rub my eyes. I was hoping she’d realize that by sending the kids to Esther’s, it was a sign that I want to see her in person with no limits on our time, just the two of us figuring things out.
A phone call is better than text, but not by much. I’ll still take it.
She calls me before I can call her.
“Hi, Rosie.”
“Hi.” Just hearing her voice calms me a little bit, even if that one word is filled with exasperation.
“Where should I start with my apology?”
“I don’t want you to apologize, Liam.”
“Why not?”
“You shouldn’t be sorry for getting caught up in the moment or the choices you’re making as a dad or a son. I think I just need to readjust my expectations, and then we need to stay in our lanes and not confuse each other again. I should probably apologize, too.”
“So, we’ll be ships passing in the night. I won’t look at you, and you won’t look at me.”
“Yeah,” she says defensively. She clearly doesn’t like my playful tone when she’s decided to be serious and pragmatic about the fact that we made out in front of my parents’ house before she took off in her car.
Our attitudes are a role reversal, but a necessary one.
I know she’s trying to smooth things over, but that’s not what we need.
“I don’t want that.”
“Since when? Since tonight?”
It’s a fair jab. I take in a deep breath, gathering courage. There’s no need to hold back anymore, even if she doesn’t like this version of me. It’s going to be okay. Everything I know of her tells me it will be. “You said I shouldn’t be sorry for getting caught up in the moment.”
“I did.”
“You think I’m not ready to admit I love you?”
She can’t hide the hitch in her throat at my words. I can’t believe I said them, but the relief I feel, and the burst of adrenalin that comes with it, feels like magic.
Until she hangs up on me.