Chapter 15 #2
It took a long two days to talk her into trying to get sober.
Once we had convinced her, she saw it more as a challenge than anything else.
Nothing was going to stop her from getting sober, especially when I was skeptical.
It wasn’t until she threw up blood and her heart was racing that I realized how bad of a situation we were in.
Sarah and I had rushed her to the hospital where she was admitted.
I had lied, telling them I was her father so I could stay with her.
Visiting hours were over, and any non-family members were forced to leave.
I was only seven years older than her, but the kind nurse with an empathetic smile didn’t question me, just showed me to her room and told me to take care of her.
“Jackie,” I whispered. She was laying in the hospital bed, a heart rate monitor beeping in the background. It was still too fast, but not as bad as it had been. She had an IV pumping her full of fluids and anti-nausea medication.
I didn’t know the girl well. All I knew of her was her name.
Ophelia Jaqueline James.
Jackie.
She opened her eyes slowly, turning her head to look at me with a glare. “You again.”
I rolled my eyes but laughed. “Me again. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
She smiled weakly. “This whole sober thing sucks.”
“Giving up already?” I challenged.
She glared again but shook her head. “Never.”
“That’s what I thought,” I mused and leaned forward, taking her clammy hand in my own. “Is there someone I can call for you? A friend? Sibling? Parent?”
She shook her head with as much effort as she could muster. “No, there’s no one.” She swallowed. “It’s just me.”
Her words hit me like a stab in the heart. “Not anymore, Jackie. I’m here.”
She looked at me, her eyes filling with unshed tears. “Promise not to leave? I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
“I promise.”
Now
“Please don’t remind me of that,” I groaned. "That was one of the worst days of my life. I genuinely thought you were going to die."
Jackie had the audacity to laugh. “Oh, come on. I must have caused worse days since then. That can’t be the absolute worst.”
“I said one of the worst,” I argued. “Why did you bring it up anyway? How much of that day do you remember?”
“I think most of it, but I can’t be sure,” she mumbled. “I brought it up because you were there. You helped me get sober. Don’t count yourself out, Fai. Give yourself the credit you deserve.”
“I’m sorry, Jackie.” The words practically fell out of me.
She was taken aback. “Why?”
I barked a laugh. “Umm… for the past five years of my stupidity? For being a crappy friend? For relapsing and then lying to you about it?”
“What about when you fired me because you were scared I was going to find out about said relapse?” Jackie interjected.
“Oh, and you lied and said it was because I was dating Will, because, once again, you didn’t want me to find out about your drinking?
Or is it for abandoning me as my sponsor?
Dipping out on our AA meetings, which I now run, because you vanished? ”
“Yes, add it all to the list of sins I need to atone for. Or book at this point,” I mumbled.
"We could call it 'Fai's Descent Into Stupidity,'" she said. "Catchy."
“I think Sarah already started that book. You’ll have to check with her on the title,” I muttered. “I really am sorry for all of it. I know I’ve said it before, but I just want you to know I hate that I ever hurt you.”
“I know you do,” her voice had turned solemn. “Honestly, it wasn’t the lies and the hurt you caused that pushed me away. It was that you broke your promise… you left me.”
“I know.” A tear spilled down my cheek. “I will regret that for the rest of my life.”
“I miss you, Fai. I really do,” she said through what sounded like tears of her own. “Can we maybe talk, go for a hike or get coffee or something when you’re back? Really talk?”
“I would really love that, Jackie. I miss you too.”
The silence settled between us, like specks of dust onto a freshly cleaned table. Leaving their mark gently. The quiet between us—for the first time in years—wasn’t uncomfortable, but welcomed.
Jackie cleared her throat. “Now, the reason I actually called, because I do have a job I need to get back to that I don’t want you firing me from again… this brother of yours, what’s his name?”
“Gabriel Gomez. Why?” I asked, confused.
“It seems you’ve forgotten I managed to call you at your mysterious brother’s house, that I didn’t know about. I didn’t call without purpose. I’m actually just relaying a message for Will. He has lectures all day and asked me to call Sarah.”
“What’s up? Do I need a pen or paper or something to write it down?” I looked around for the very items.
“No, actually, that’s the message. Sarah asked Will to look into Gabriel Gomez, and he found nothing,” Jackie explained.
Of course Sarah asked Will to look into my brother.
I looked at the two, still sitting and laughing with each other on the porch.
“I told her that she doesn’t need to be suspicious of him.
She’s just being protective, but I’m happy you found nothing.
I actually think you would like Gabriel.
He’s already talking about visiting soon—”
“No, Fai,” she interrupted, her voice empathetic. “We didn’t find anything on Gabriel Gomez, because he doesn’t exist.”
“No offense, Jackie, but I’m looking at him. He exists,” I teased.
“I’m not saying you don’t have a brother, Fai,” she explained calmly. “Will couldn’t find anyone under that name and age with his description in Montana. He's still looking, but so far there's no record of him."
I scrubbed a hand across my jaw, turning away from the window and lowering my voice, worried they might hear me outside. “What does that mean? Is he lying?”
“Maybe, maybe not. We just don’t know. It could be as simple as maybe he spells it differently than what Sarah told us, or his age is slightly off. We’ll keep looking, but Will wanted to give y’all a heads-up and see if you could get us any information to help us find him,” she explained.
I did my best not to let my thoughts go to the worst-case scenario. “Would our mom’s name work?”
“Oh my God, you know her name now?” Jackie asked, shocked. “If you do, yeah, that should help.”
“Mariana. Mariana Gomez. That’s my mom,” I muttered.
“She sounds beautiful,” Jackie voiced softly, “and that should help for sure. We’ll keep looking and call back if we find anything, or if we don’t.”
“Thanks, Jackie. I really appreciate you.”
“Always happy to help, and don’t jump to conclusions. This call wasn’t to freak you out. There’s no reason to be alarmed. We just needed more information, and you gave it.” She tried to reassure me.
I took a steadying breath, trying to take her words to heart. “Ask Goldie to help. She’s got a knack for this stuff, and she can get the letter he sent me. It’s in my office. There may be more details in there that can help.”
Jackie agreed to involve Goldie and hung up the phone, promising again to call when they learned more.
I stared at the phone, the dial tone ringing softly through the speaker. I had a chance to fix things with Jackie, and it was a chance I was going to take.
But all I could focus on was Gabriel.
I looked back through the window, where he and Sarah were still sitting and talking.
If he didn’t exist, who was he and what did he want from me?