Chapter 27
Fai
Sarah was bundled in a blanket, sitting on the supple leather couch, the fireplace blazing as the rain fell in steady sheets outside.
I could breathe a little deeper, knowing she was safe—she was out of Gabriel’s reach.
There was no way he would find her here.
The house didn’t even have an official address, nor a road to it.
The only way you knew it existed out here was if the occupants had told you themselves.
Or the occupant's sister, who also happened to be my friend. Jackie didn’t tell me about where he lived to put Nate in danger.
Not that I would be dangerous to him. In one of our recent get-togethers, as we worked to reconnect, she talked about having her whole family living close by.
While her sister lived a stone’s throw away from her house, Nate lived deeper on the property.
He wasn’t the most sociable, and had few people he let close to him. I had been one of those few people for a short time…
I dropped another bag on the porch, where he stood with his arms crossed in front of him, acting as a guard to the front door—a threshold he wouldn’t let me cross. His blonde hair was tied into a bun at the back of his head, and his chest stretched against his hoodie.
“That’s all they would let me grab,” I explained, pointing to the fifth bag of Sarah’s belongings.
Will and I grabbed what we could, piling her clothes, books, work materials, and even her favorite knickknacks into bags.
I had no plans for her going to the house until Gabriel was behind bars—or six feet under. Either worked for me.
Nate stared at me, his blue eyes cold and assessing.
“Thank you, again.” I looked back at Sarah, who seemed to be fading with each passing second, her eyes growing heavy. The adrenaline was finally waning, leaving her exhausted. “This was the safest place I could think of.”
“Why are you doing this?” Nate asked abruptly.
I raised a brow in question.
“Why are you helping her?”
I was taken aback by the question. Why wouldn’t I help her?
“Because I love her.” It was a simple answer for me.
“Does she know that?” he asked, his stance loosening just a bit.
I nodded. “She does now. Why?”
Nate sighed and dropped to his front steps, taking a seat on the top and stretching his long legs in front of him.
“I’m just trying to figure you out. I can’t make sense of you—of your actions.
You say you love her, but you divorced her.
You say Jackie is like family to you, but you hurt her.
You said you wanted to be my friend, but you lied to me. ”
“I didn’t technically lie,” I argued.
“Fine… you withheld certain truths from me that would have been extremely helpful to know—such as you knowing my entire family.”
I sighed deeply and motioned toward the step next to him. He hesitated but eventually nodded, and I took a seat beside him.
“What do you remember about our meeting?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Nate answered immediately.
“Hmm…” I mused, pulling my hood over my head. “I had been in rehab for a few days when you got there. I saw your name on the roster and knew it had to be you. Jackie’s brother.”
“Why did you introduce yourself to me?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t really know. I think I missed what I had with Jackie—with Sarah. I knew at that point we were spiraling toward the end—that I was losing her. I was in the thick of withdrawals and wasn’t making great decisions.”
Nate and I had met years ago when we were both in the same rehab facility.
He was there to work through his dependency on drugs.
I had admitted myself after the most severe relapse I’d ever experienced.
I hadn’t known Nate before he was there, just his name…
and I knew he was in their lives. He had Jackie; he had Sarah.
He had the people I loved—the people I had pushed away.
The people I had missed more than anything else.
“I think I was curious,” I finally decided.
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth eventually? We were there together for months, man,” Nate asked, sounding genuinely hurt.
I let out a humorless laugh. “The minute you knew the truth, you would write me off. I wanted to delay it.”
“Wanted to keep using me?”
I looked at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Isn’t that why you stayed my friend?” he asked. “To use me to stay close to Jackie and Sarah?”
“No,” I answered immediately. “Not at all. I…” I sighed and scrubbed a hand across my jaw.
“Maybe at first, but you were my friend. My genuine friend. The only one I had at the time. I didn’t want you to know I knew who Jackie and Sarah were because then you would know how I had hurt them.
You’re a good man, Nate. The moment you found out I hurt the people you cared about—hurt your sister—I knew you would write me off. ”
Nate took a deep breath, his gaze falling toward the trees around him. “You really did fuck things up.”
“I know,” I conceded.
“You really love Sarah?”
I nodded. “I always have. I always will.”
“Even if she’s never yours again? If she moves on, marries someone new, has a bunch of kids with them, and starts a new life and family away from you?” he challenged.
I smiled sadly. “Even if she’s not mine… I will always be hers. Until my final breath—the final beat of my heart—I will belong to Sarah Martin.”
“Why did you sign those papers?” he asked.
“That life you described? Her moving on, finding joy and love and a full life?” I sighed deeply. “I wanted that for her. I wanted her to move on from me—from my fuckups. She deserves so much better than me.”
Nate let out a low hum and rose to his feet.
I braced myself to be sent away—Will had already offered me a place at his house while Sarah was here, close enough to keep watch until she was safe.
But instead, Nate extended his hand. I took it, letting him pull me upright, yet he didn’t let go.
His grip held firm as his other hand came to rest on my shoulder, steady and deliberate.
“She deserves better… from you.” He looked over his shoulder and through the open front door to where Sarah had truly passed out. “She needs you right now.”
I nodded. “I need her.”
“You’re sober though, right?” he asked. “I can’t have you here if you’re drinking. I can’t risk my own sobriety for you.”
“I’m sober,” I answered quickly. “Have been for a while now. Just about eight months.”
Nate smiled in pride and let go of me. “That’s impressive, truly.”
“What are you at?”
He smiled wider. “Three and a half years now.”
“Now that’s impressive,” I argued.
He shrugged. “Eh, even one day is impressive. Addiction is really a bitch. Now let’s get inside before we both freeze to death out here in this rain.”
I laughed. “Not a fan of the rain?” I asked, following him inside.
He shook his head. “Why my family thought Oregon would be the best place to settle down after growing up in a desert, I have no idea… but I like the woods, and them. So I’ll stay.”
Sarah was fully and completely asleep. Her breath came in steady puffs, her eyes closed. I smiled down at her, pushing one of her braids off her face and behind her ear.
“Where can I put her?” I asked Nate, not wanting her to spend the night on the couch.
He motioned with his chin toward the hall off of the living room. “Just down there. You can follow me.”
I nodded and bent down, sliding one arm beneath Sarah’s knees and the other behind her back, before lifting her into my arms. She didn’t stir—likely still under the effects of whatever the paramedics had given her.
If anything, she settled further against me, nestling in as her head came to rest on my shoulder.
I followed Nate down the dark hall and into the guest room, where I laid Sarah down in the center of the bed and pulled the blankets up over her. I turned to leave, expecting a night on the couch, but Nate stopped me with a hand on my chest.
“She needs you, Fai. Stay with her.”
I nodded in agreement and looked back down at Sarah, grateful I wouldn’t have to leave. I needed her close to me until my racing and irrational heart understood she was safe here in this house.
“Just do me a favor,” he began in a whispered tone. “Don’t get freaky on the sheets the same way you did on that cave floor… they’re new. I don’t need all your… juices on them.”
A strangled laugh fell past my lips. “Does everyone know about this now?”
Nate nodded. “Jackie isn’t the best at keeping secrets.”
Those were his parting words as he left the room, closing the door with a soft click.
There was so much I could do. So much I should do.
I could grab all of the bags and bring them in here.
I could wake Sarah up to let her get ready for bed, brush her teeth, and do her skincare—all those steps she insisted helped her wind down.
I could go and talk more with Nate to make things better between the two of us. I could go talk to his wife, a former police officer, to see if she could help find out who Gabriel truly was.
There was so much I could do.
And only one thing I needed to do.
I turned back to Sarah and pulled the blankets aside before crawling into the bed with her. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my body, her head now resting on my chest and her hand on my stomach. Her breath fanned across the top of my body, reminding me she was okay… she was here.
“I’ve got you, honey.” And I was never letting go. Not again.