Chapter 56
It’s fine. I’ve been expecting this for a while; I’ve known that, one day, I’d have to face my feelings. They’re too observant. Why wouldn’t they work out that I’ve been hiding my feelings for them?
“I’m sorry about before.” Maybe if I get ahead of this, I can salvage their friendship.
“Sorry for what?” Lucky asks.
“Um …” The words stack up in the back of my throat, making it hard to breathe. I know what I need to say, so it should be a breeze, right? Except they don’t want to move—they’re stuck—and the longer the silence plays out, the less I want to say anything at all.
Sterling takes pity on me. “We heard what Alice called us.”
Oh God.
“We’re not mad about it,” Lucky adds.
“The opposite actually.”
I’m not sure my heart rate has ever been this quick before …
“Mia”—Sterling pulls my hands into his—“it’s okay. We’ve wanted to talk to you about this for a while.”
They have?
“You have?”
“We want to be with you.”
The wind picks up outside, sweeping up the leaves and shaking them out again. A chorus of frog calls follows. The sound often invades my dreams, as familiar to me as the terra-cotta tiles in the main house.
Maybe I’m dreaming right now. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.
“Wait. All of us?”
“Of course,” Lucky says.
Oh, of course.
Sterling slides his fingers in mine, gently pulling my hand into his lap. I’ve always loved his hands, as talented as Lucky’s and always steady. Always strong.
“Yes, all of us. We both care about you and each other, and we know you care about us.”
I do.
“Who’s to tell us that we can’t be together?”
No one, I want to say because I want this too much.
“How? How would this even work?”
“However we want. There isn’t a rule book we need to follow. We only need to talk to each other.”
Lucky snorts. “Your specialty.” He is unrepentant in the face of Sterling’s unamused brow.
“I’m working on it.” Then his attention is back, joined by Lucky’s, and my heart picks up once more, whipping and spinning like the wind against the windows. “We’ve already talked about this, but we need to know how you feel. Is this something you want?”
I can’t believe he even has to ask.
“More than anything.”
I want to fall into Lucky’s arms when I’m sad and have Sterling understand when work frustrates me.
I want to be with them because when I’m with them I’m seen, and I’m inspired, and I’m brimming with so much love that I don’t have room for it all, and every second I’ve spent trying to stuff it down, it only gets bigger.
My jaw creaks on a yawn. I want to sleep.
“Come on. We can talk about it more tomorrow. You’re coming with us.”
Without waiting, he scoops me into his arms. I scramble to catch myself, but there’s no need. Sterling has me and isn’t letting me go. Lucky walks ahead, turning off the lights and turning down the bed. Their bed.
Sterling lowers me onto the mattress, and I’m treated to the sight of the two of them stripping down to their boxers.
I want to ask them to stop, to let me stare and memorize them—the hair on Sterling’s chest, Lucky’s tattoos, the peaks and valleys of their hips and chests and shoulders—but sleep is taking me fast, and they slide under the covers before I can say anything.
Lying on either side of me, they leave no distance. One arm across my waist, a thigh slid between mine. Holding me close. Keeping me.
“Sweet dreams, Mia.” Sterling’s voice follows me into sleep.
But I don’t need dreams because nothing could be sweeter than this.
THE END
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