Liana #2
“You don’t know that,” I said to myself, pulling a dress over my head. Grateful I was off. Not in the mood for much of anything today. He had still been stopping by the bar, but I was very good at the art of avoidance.
Case in point.
I came back out to find my mama had already made coffee. Thank God. The shower helped, but I was still dragging ass.
Granny Lucille had claimed the notepad on my counter. She refused to get a cellphone worth a damn, so pen and paper it was.
I hugged her from behind, and she kissed my arm without looking up.
“Hey you. I feel like I haven’t seen you in a month of Sundays.”
“I’ve been busy, Granny.”
“So I’ve heard. But first we need to discuss Bloom Day and then we can do girl talk.”
I checked my phone, and it opened to my text thread with Jaheim, putting me right back in my feelings.
His last message was him telling me he had a surprise for me. I guess I’ll…
“Liana, hello! Bloom Day is a few weeks out. I’m already stressed,” my mama said, setting a mug in front of the empty chair. “Sit and pay attention.”
I rolled my eyes, and so did Granny. Crimson Bloom could be chill, but she could also be a warden if need be. Bloom Day was her way to give back to the community, and she took it so seriously.
“The float committee needs a theme from you by the end of the week. Your great aunt Mae is already fussing about it.”
“Mae fusses about everything for no reason. The Bloom will house the first-aid team. They got hot last year in that sun for hours. I already told her that.”
“Mae ain’t never listened to nobody no way,” Granny Lucille said without looking up from the notepad. I laughed, and she laughed too.
We went through the list of things we needed to do and purchase.
I still had so much to do. The first-aid team would have most of their own things, but I wanted to make sure we had double of everything.
Bloom Day was getting bigger and bigger each year.
Especially now that Beau had moved here and taken the head coaching position at the high school.
Jaheim.
“You can still do a float theme. And let Steven do the rest,” my mom said, thankfully bringing me out of my thoughts.
“Steven? When did he get out?”
“A few weeks ago. Mae said he needs this to keep himself occupied.”
“I don’t want to be bothered with a float. I’m taking the path of least resistance.”
My mama let it sit for exactly as long as she was going to.
“You want to tell me what happened, or you want to keep pretending that the shower fixed it? Your attitude today is terrible.”
“I’m fine, Ma.”
“Mm.” She picked up her coffee. “You know what your grandmother told me when I almost walked away from your father the first time?”
I looked up.
Granny Lucille looked at me and mouthed, “Meddling.”
I snickered, but Mama kept going.
“She told me consistency mattered more than pride in the long run. She said I could be right or I could be happy. But both were going to cost me something.” My mama set her mug down. “I chose happy. Forty years later, I’d choose it again.”
Nobody said anything right away.
“It’s not a big deal. And I need a minute to decide if I’m ready. Relationships and love that shi, mess takes work. I don’t know if I’m ready for the work. Being wrong or right is an option, not a requirement.”
My mama leaned back in her chair. “You came home to heal, Trini. Don’t turn around and use healing as another place to hide.”
“Ma, please not that name.” I groaned automatically, even though hearing Jaheim say it in that low voice of his was probably my favorite thing. Hearing my mama say it right now reminded me too much of the things the wine was supposed to help me forget.
Granny Lucille nodded. “The women in this family know how to start over. We’ve had to. But surviving something and living after it ain’t always the same thing.”
I looked between them and sighed dramatically. “Can we not do this before noon?”
“I’m not saying you’re wrong for feeling what you felt,” my mama said.
“I’m saying don’t let fear make the decision for you and then dress it up as protection.
If you let fear run everything, you’d never leave this house.
But you do. You trust your instincts. You trust what life taught you. This ain’t any different.”
Granny Lucille finally looked up. “Is he fine at least?”
“Granny.”
“What? I’m old, not blind.” She went back to her notepad. “Now is he as fine as Roya claims?”
“Ugh, yes, he is, but that’s not the point. He’s younger than me. Maybe that’s also in the back of my mind. See, this is why I avoid this at all costs.”
“Bring him to Bloom Day, that day has a way of changing your mind and opening your heart.”
I wrapped both hands around my mug. I wasn’t ready to say she was right out loud. But I wasn't ready to say she was wrong either.
“Sorry, ladies, I won’t be bringing him anywhere. Are y’all not hearing me?”
“We hear you, Liana. I… I don’t want to minimize because I know firsthand how Odeal broke you down. And I’m proud you didn’t stay there, but as long as you keep running in the opposite direction of love, he wins.”
My love life, my heart, wasn’t a game, and that’s what I was trying to prevent.
“All I heard was that he had been sniffing around you at the bar. What happened that now has you retreating?” Granny asked.
“So what are we eating for lunch? I’m hungry.”
“You are your mother’s child. Come on, let’s go to Rosie’s. I want some pasta salad.”
Rosie’s was packed for lunch, which I should have expected. She only made the pasta salad on certain days and the whole town acted accordingly. Granny waved to her great niece and got us a booth in the back before I could even look at the menu.
“How have you been feeling, Granny? How’s Granddaddy?”
“Well, that cold snap did a number on my arthritis, but I’ll manage.
Your grandfather, though?” She shook her head.
“Yesterday, it was an earache. Today it could be anything. That’s old age for you.
” She pointed her fork at me before the food even arrived.
“That’s also why you need to find somebody to grow old with. ”
“I’m sure I can manage my own ailments, but thank you for the advice.”
“I always told your mama she should’ve popped you in the lips more. Smart heffa.”
We laughed and she wasn’t lying. I had always been the wild one. Running with the boys, arguing back, saying exactly what was on my mind before I had the sense to filter it.
You got a mouth on you, Liana Trini Bloom. But I’m not deterred.
I smiled before I caught myself thinking about Jaheim. He clocked it within the first twenty-four hours and found it charming instead of exhausting. Why did this have to be so complicated?
“Liana?” I turned toward my name hoping it wasn’t someone I didn’t want to see. It was Catherine from the dog park, already smiling.
“Hey, I thought that was you,” she said. “We missed y’all today. Junior was asking about that fine man and Esme.”
Her saying Junior asked about them was funny. Because Esme had given me so much attitude last night, probably because she knew we wouldn't be on our dog park date anytime soon.
“Esme wasn’t feeling well. We skipped today. I’ll make sure to bring her soon.”
“Junior will be so happy.” She paused and tilted her head like she was deciding whether to say the next thing.
“I know I may be overstepping but I came to Bloomington to restart my life and finding community here has been everything. I almost gave up on a lot of things.” A small shrug.
“Don’t sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s all.”
“Thanks, Cat.”
“Of course. See y’all at Bloom Day.” She waved and was gone.
Everybody at the table watched her leave.
That was the problem with Bloomington. Nothing stayed private long enough for you to figure out how you felt first.
“Hmm,” my mama said, leaning back. “Seems like everybody in town has something to say today.”
“Probably not more than you.” I leaned back too and eyed her. “I know you did something.”
“I’ve done nothing.”
“Yet,” Granny Lucille said from behind her menu.
Mama didn’t even blink.