Chapter 15
Victoria
The pickup truck shook when Victoria slammed the driver’s side door. She looked over at Tillman now in the passenger seat.
“Good old American greed,” Tillman said with a shake of the head.
“Who the fuck does that guy think he is?” Victoria started up the truck. “That train wreck of an apartment was obviously illegal. There were so many code violations.”
“And the rent he was asking was ridiculously high.” Tillman buckled in. “Sorry I steered you to this suburb.”
“No worries,” Victoria said and pulled out of the greedy landlord’s driveway. “It’s too far from the scene, anyway, but I had to look. Thanks for helping me.” Victoria looked over at Tillman and nodded her appreciation.
“It’s cool.”
“So, now that we’ve got forty minutes to get back, tell me more about your, uh, situation. I mean, I’m supposed to ask your pronouns, right?”
“He, him. I’ll even take they, them.”
“Cool,” Victoria said. “But go easy on me if I mess that up. It won’t be intentional.”
“A few weeks ago, my therapist suggested I start telling people close to me.”
“I’m honored you told me,” Victoria said.
“You took it better than anybody, so far. Bobbie was one of my best friends, you know. She flipped out. She thought I was joking. And then when I told Jasmyne, do you know what she said?”
“What?” Victoria glanced at her GPS to make sure she was still on the correct route home.
“She told me to be the most masculine masc I could be. Wear men’s clothes, manspread, curse, spit, whatever. She said that me claiming to actually be a man was ridiculous and kind of mental. That was the word she used.”
“She called you ‘mental?’”
“Yeah, and then she said she didn’t sign up to be with a man and kicked me out.
I had nowhere to go, so my mother took me back in.
When I told my mom, she kind of said the same thing as Jasmyne.
So, I thought if they think I’m mental, then I’ll find a therapist who can help me navigate all this.
But honestly, I don’t know if this therapist, I mean she’s good, I guess, but maybe she’s just telling me what I want to hear. ”
In the past, Victoria hadn’t been much of a touchy, let ‘s-share-our-feelings person, but lately she found herself wanting to help people. Well, she’d kind of done that as a security person in the schools she’d worked in.
And she was sharing so much with Juicy_Babe, a woman she didn’t even know, except her new avatar was so friggin’ sexy that Victoria almost lost her mind when she saw that enticing cleavage.
“It’s hard to trust now,” she said to Tillman. “I get it. I don’t know much about transgender stuff, but I’m ready to learn and help you in any way I can. I mean, I know a few trans women and knew one trans guy a long time ago, but never really understood their respective journeys.”
“That’s more than anyone’s given me,” Tillman said, picking at a loose thread on his jeans. “My older sister might be cool, but I’m afraid to tell anyone else.”
“I’m actively thinking of you as a guy now,” Victoria said. “I’ve only known you for a few weeks, so it shouldn’t be too hard. My brain is making the switch now.”
Tillman laughed. It was a high-pitched girly laugh.
“Are you on testosterone yet?”
“Not yet,” Tillman said. “My therapist said there were certain steps, the first of which was to tell some people close to me. And so far it’s sucked.
Mom didn’t believe me and wished I would shut up.
My girlfriend left me, and my best friend ostracized me in front of all those people in a place I thought was safe.
What kind of friend does that? And because she deemed me laughable, all those frigging sheep will follow her lead. ”
“That sucks.”
“It does. Lauren knew for a while. I mean, she raised her eyebrows when I told her, but she kept my confidence. She seems cool with it. She’s a kind person, you know. Sorry it didn’t work out with you and her. I mean, her partner works a lot, but maybe they can reconnect now.”
“Now that I’ve led Lauren down the debauched path into BDSM, you mean?”
Tillman laughed. “No, she was already on that path. She knew Jasmyne and I dabbled and she would ask me questions sometimes.”
“Safer that way, I guess.”
“My therapist says telling my sister is next. I told her about telling you, and she was encouraged for me.”
“Excellent.”
“And soon, not quite yet, she wants me to live as a guy for a long while. Fully commit. Men’s clothes, men’s restrooms, and everything.”
“Have you picked a name yet?”
“Brian.”
Victoria nodded. “Makes sense. Once Brianna, now Brian. You get to keep your same initials, too.”
“Right? Because of all the monogrammed shit I have at home?” He laughed so hard that Victoria recognized it for what it was. Tension release.
“We have this amazing menswear shop back home,” Victoria said. “Robert is a genius. He would understand your needs and would fix you up right.”
“You do that a lot, you know,” Tillman said.
“What’s that?”
“Refer to the place you used to live as ‘back home.’”
“Pfft,” Victoria said, covering the realization that Tillman was right. “I lived there a long time, I guess.”
“Do you miss it?”
“Yes,” came the quick answer. Too quick. “I mean, I can’t go back, and before you ask why, I’ll tell you.”
So out came the story about Victoria’s callous and insensitive relationship with Bernadette. “It was brief. Only like ten days, but my head was so full of exploring that new kink, that I didn’t realize how far I’d overstepped.” She blew out a long sigh. “I thought that shit was safe to give her.”
“Sounds like you needed to get that off your chest, Vic.”
“Yeah, maybe. I mean, the woman is fine now. Everyone says so. She’s married and seems happy.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“Me. I’m the problem. How could I do that to someone in my care?
I didn’t ask her permission. I just did it.
” She groaned. “I’m so big on safe sex and safe practices.
I dote on women, give them what they need before getting my own needs met.
I look back and wonder who the fuck that was giving ‘supplements’ to a woman without really knowing what was in them.
Me, apparently. It was me, and I can’t make it make sense. ”
Tillman offered some friendly advice, including talking to Bernadette again, but Victoria didn’t know what to do with that suggestion.
She basically told Tillman she’d marinate on the ideas.
To change the subject, she asked, “So when do you set up another store?” Tillman had an interesting job setting up new locations for those Linen Works stores.
She supervised a crew that cleaned the new space, installed fixtures, set up aisles, and performed a variety of other tasks.
Victoria wasn’t exactly sure what all she did, but she basically took an empty commercial space and got it ready for all the Linen Works inventory to come in and get shelved.
She traveled all around the country doing this work.
“I actually have one coming up in a couple of weeks,” Tillman said. “You should join. It’s fairly close. The company pays for the hotels we stay in, and we get a daily food stipend. It’s in Springfield.
“Illinois?”
“Yeah.”
Victoria wondered how close that was to her father’s prison. He didn’t want her there, though. “Thanks, but I have a job.”
“It’s cool,” Tillman said. “If you change your mind, I’ll get you on the crew.”
A bit later, Victoria pulled up to Tillman’s mother’s house. Victoria said, “Tell your sister. Without your mother around. In person.”
“I will. Soon.”
“No,” Victoria said and locked eyes with Tillman. “The word ‘soon’ is a cop out. Get that done within the next week.”
“Whoa, I can see that Domme persona in you.” He chuckled. “Okay, Ma’am. Yes, Ma’am. I’ll text Gabbie tonight.”
“Thanks for the help today, Brian. Even though nothing panned out.”
Brian teared up, and Victoria knew why. It was the first time anyone had called him by his new name.
They said their goodbyes, and Victoria headed straight for the Indy Coffee House since she didn’t have to be at work for another couple of hours.
The place wasn’t as cozy or comforting as Rikki’s, but it had become a place to get away for a while and think.
Now that Erin and Robby were engaged, she wanted to give them their space. Hence, the ramped-up apartment hunting.
She got her black coffee, turned down an unappetizing Danish, and sat in what had become her usual corner in the shop.
Victoria pulled out her phone, loaded up Kinks, and purposefully and with intent scoured Juicy_Babe’s homepage again.
The new avatar pic was so sexy that Victoria’s lascivious thoughts were getting the better of her.
She scanned Juicy_Babe’s likes and dislikes.
They lined up with her own for the most part.
Ahh, she liked literature, reading, and going to plays.
That’s how she knew all those Frankenstein references.
Victoria took one last look at Juicy_Babe’s sexy cleavage and clicked on the messages icon.
Yay. There was one from her. Seeing that she had a message from her was like the feeling she had as a kid on the way to get ice cream.