Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Gary’s kisses grazed Dan’s neck, making him shiver.
His damp chest pressed against Dan’s back as he rocked into him.
This was always the part of the vision Dan loved, when their coupling became less frantic and more sensual.
He felt cherished, worshipped… loved. But then Gary withdrew and rolled Dan onto his back, and for the first time in thirteen years, Dan gazed into the eyes of the man making love to him.
“Please,” he whispered. “I need you.” He stroked Gary’s face, his fingertips brushing over his beard as he slid them lower to Gary’s shoulders.
Gary groaned as he filled Dan to the hilt.
“Need you too.” He rolled his hips, a sinuous motion that forced a moan of pleasure from Dan’s lips.
And suddenly they were rocking together, locked into a rhythm echoing that of Dan’s heartbeat, both covered in a sheen of perspiration, drops falling onto Dan’s face.
Except they weren’t drops of sweat—they were tears.
Gary looked into his eyes, his cheeks streaked. “Heal me.”
Dan sat bolt upright in bed, his heart pounding. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand, his hand shaking, his breathing erratic.
What are you going to do? Call him in the middle of the night?
He dragged air into his lungs, expelling his panic with each exhalation until at last he was calmer. He threw off the comforter and got out of bed to walk into the bathroom. After drinking a glass of water, he stared at his reflection.
“What is going on here?”
So many things were conspiring to screw up his life and his focus. Learning the identity of the man in the vision. The change in the vision. The revelations in the media. His turbulent emotions whenever Gary was near.
“I don’t even know him.” Not even six days had passed since they’d met. Certainly not long enough to tangle Dan’s senses into a convoluted mess, but they were. He couldn’t deny that.
And now this. Heal me. What the hell did it mean?
He gripped the sink, forcing his thoughts back to every occasion of physical contact with Gary. That first burst of recognition when Gary had handed him Cory’s ring…. I knew then, didn’t I? I knew he was important. And if Gary needed healing, Dan would do his utmost to provide it.
But healing from what? His grief over the loss of his best friend?
No. It was more than that; Dan was sure of it.
I need to know what the hell is going on.
Gary had said he’d come to the hotel at some point, but Dan wanted more than a vague arrangement. He returned to the bed, picked up the phone, and composed a short text.
Breakfast here. 8:00.
It wasn’t a request. Maybe if he learned more about Gary, more pieces would fall into place.
He hoped. Because right then, he was floundering in the dark.
Breakfast had been delicious. Having Gary share it with him had been a bonus.
Gary poured another cup of coffee. “This is good.”
“If you’re anything like me, you need a decent hit of caffeine to kickstart your brain in the morning.” Dan wiped his lips with his napkin. “Thanks for agreeing to meet me for breakfast.”
Gary cocked his head to one side. “I was glad to get the invitation, if a little surprised at the hour you sent it.”
Dan stilled. “Oh God. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
Gary chuckled. “One thing I learned long ago—put the phone on silent when going to bed those nights when I’m not on call.
I should go one step further and leave it outside the bedroom, but I’m nowhere near that disciplined.
” He leaned back in his chair. “So… want to tell me what you were doing awake at that ungodly hour?”
“I had a dream.” That much was true. “And I sent the text while you—while it was on my mind.” He had to steer the conversation in another direction. “So how long have you lived in Boston?”
“Since I went to college at Northeastern.”
“And before that? Where did you grow up?”
“Springfield. It’s not that far from here.”
“I know where it is. From New Hampshire, remember?”
Gary chuckled. “Ah, but did you also know it’s the birthplace of Dr. Seuss?”
“No kidding. And do you like Boston?” Dan smiled. “Stupid question. If you didn’t, you’d go someplace else.”
“Yeah, I like living here.” Gary drank some more. “In fact, that was my plan for today. I was going to show you the sights.”
“My own personal tour guide?”
Gary sat immobile, and Dan cursed his loose mouth.
It wasn’t the first time he’d uttered something that could have been interpreted as flirtatious, but he couldn’t help himself.
He had to be honest, Gary’s proposal didn’t appeal.
He had a goal—to learn more about Gary—and he didn’t think sightseeing around Boston would help him achieve that.
Dan helped himself to another cup. “Actually, I had something different in mind. Well, a different location at least.” His heartbeat quickened as the idea took root.
Gary lifted his brows. “Oh?”
He nodded. “Can we visit Springfield?”
That earned him a blink. “Why there?”
His heart hammered. “Show me where you grew up. The places you went to.” He held his hands up. “I don’t want to be a tourist. I want to see places that meant something to you.”
Gary rubbed his chin, his lips pursed.
“I know,” Dan said quickly. “It makes no sense, but—” He swallowed. “—I feel safe with you.” So safe, you wouldn’t believe. “And… I want to know more about you.”
Gary tilted his head. “Before you leave us to head back to New Hampshire?”
Dan didn’t want to contemplate leaving Boston, leaving Gary, just yet. “I guess.”
Gary studied him in silence, and for one awful moment, Dan felt certain he was about to refuse. Then he nodded. “Okay. Although I think Boston has more to offer.”
“Then we can do Boston tomorrow, if you’re free. Today I want to see Springfield.”
Gary’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Then you have yourself a tour guide.”
Dan got to his feet. “Let me go up and grab my stuff, and then we can head out.”
“Sure. I’ll wait for you in the lobby.” He gestured to his cup. “I’ll finish this first. But what do I owe you for breakfast?”
“Nothing. It’s on me. And before you get any noble ideas, I’ve already paid.” Dan walked out of the restaurant, heading for the elevators. Gary’s smile occupied his thoughts.
He agreed to my suggestion, but he’s not happy about it.
Maybe their visit would reveal why.
“You’re not enjoying this, are you?” Gary murmured.
Dan jerked his head away from the view of Memorial Bridge. “What makes you say that?”
He shrugged. “Instinct.” The Connecticut River Walk was their first stop, and already he was aware of…
something he couldn’t put a finger on. “I thought you’d like the walk as it was such a beautiful day.
But if you don’t, there are plenty of other places we can visit.
” He grinned. “There’s always the Dr. Seuss National Memorial Sculpture Garden. ”
Dan gazed at him with wide eyes. “Seriously?”
“Or there’s the Casino, the Basketball Hall of Fame….” He grinned again. “The Springfield Armory.”
Dan snorted. “Yeah. I can imagine the fun times you had there as a kid.” He leaned against the railing and folded his arms, and Gary tried not to let the sight distract him. Dan in jeans and a button-down blue shirt proved to be just as attractive as Dan in a suit.
Let’s not be coy about this. Dan in jeans is hot. And the fact that Gary could be honest about that only went to prove how far he’d come. It was useless to deny it.
“Earth calling Gary. Come in, Gary.”
He blinked to find Dan regarding him with obvious amusement. “Sorry.”
“Do I want to know where your mind took you?”
Hell no.
Dan continued, “Okay, I’ll admit, this wasn’t what I had in mind when I asked you to bring me here. So let’s try an experiment. No hesitation allowed. Say the first place that comes to mind when you recall your childhood.”
“Forest Park.” No sooner had the words left his lips than he felt as though he couldn’t get enough oxygen. “No… wait….”
Dan was already on his phone. “Let me see.”
No. No. We can’t go there. His stomach roiled.
“Oh, this looks great. Duck ponds, a rose garden, covered bridges, even a zoo….” Dan’s face lit up, and right then Gary knew he’d take him there simply to see more of that light.
That didn’t mean he’d show Dan all of the park.
“Fine. Forest Park it is.”
“But let’s grab some food to take with us,” Dan added. “There are picnic tables where we can eat lunch.”
Something coiled around his chest… tighter… tighter….
“There are plenty of places to eat,” he countered, striving not to croak out the words. “We don’t have to stick to the tables.”
Dan bit his lip. “How about we get there first? Then we can decide.”
“There’s a Subway right by here.” He pointed to the left along the river walk.
“Great. Let’s go.” Dan flung out his arm. “Lead the way.”
As they strolled along, Gary couldn’t keep one thought from invading his mind over and over.
This is a bad idea.
By two o’clock, Gary’s stomach was growling. “You ready to eat?”
Dan nodded, tossing food to the ducks and other birds who’d flocked to the water’s edge. “That’s the last of it.” He crumpled the plastic bag and tossed it into a nearby trash can. “So many ducks, and different kinds too.”
“Yup. They’ve got mallard, wood ducks, black ducks, common mergansers, and pintails. Not to mention swans, egrets, blue heron, and Canada geese.”
The light Gary found so attractive danced in Dan’s eyes. “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a waterfowl expert.”
He smiled. “My dad used to point out the different varieties every time we came here. I guess it stuck.”
Dan pointed to the silhouettes of buildings along the bank. “What are those?”
“They’re part of the Bright Nights display.” He couldn’t hold back his smile. “It’s a two-mile-long drive through the park that starts in late November and continues through the holidays. They decorate the trees and shrubs to look like Dr. Seuss characters.”
Dan gazed at him for a moment before speaking. “You loved coming here, didn’t you?”
His throat seized, and he unscrewed the cap of his water bottle to take a long drink from it. “I did when I was little. I grew out of it.” His stomach grumbled. “I really need to eat.”
“I saw some benches under a tree near that cute little red bridge. We could eat there. I think there were picnic tables too.”
Oh God.
“Gary? Is there something wrong?”
“You know what? I’m hungry enough to squat here and eat.” He gestured to the water. “The view is awesome.”
Dan chuckled. “Okay. Just be prepared to have lots of beady eyes focused on you while you eat.”
Gary didn’t care if he got his fingers nipped off by ravenous ducks.
Anything was better than going near that spot.
Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?
Because it was clear to Dan that something was bothering Gary. He’d seemed on edge most of the day, although a stroll through the zoo had lightened his mood a little.
Dan didn’t understand. Gary had clearly loved the park as a child, but the waves of unease that rolled off him as they walked disturbed Dan’s senses.
Maybe it was time to go back to Boston.
“Thank you for bringing me here, but I think I’ve seen enough.”
Gary’s quiet exhale and the momentary closure of his eyes spoke volumes. “Okay. I hope you enjoyed your visit.”
“I did.” I’d have enjoyed it better if you had, though. Dan couldn’t get over the feeling that he was right on the edge of an important discovery, something that would open Gary up to him, revealing….
That’s just it. Revealing what?
There were times Dan hated his fucking gift with a passion.
“Best part?” Gary inquired as they strolled along the path through the water gardens that led to the parking lot.
He forced a smile. “The purring cougars in the zoo. And the timber wolves, Orion and Aurora. The covered bridges were so pretty. I could spend all day here.” Dan pointed to where the creek meandered through the trees, a small reddish-brown footbridge spanning its width.
“So peaceful.” On the other side of the creek were two faded wooden picnic tables set down in the lush green grass beneath the spreading trees.
Then he spotted a splash of color. “What’s that? ” He squinted.
“It’s nothing.” Gary shivered.
“Something wrong?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
Dan regarded him. “Maybe someone walked over your grave. Mom used to say that a lot.”
“We should go this way,” Gary said, pointing to where the path diverted.
That splash of color wasn’t calling Dan, it was tugging him.
“You wait here. I want a closer look. I’ll only be a second.
” Dan left the path and sprinted over to one of the picnic tables.
Under a nearby tree, a small rectangular piece of stone had been erected at its base, the size of a book.
Someone had rested a bunch of flowers against it.
He walked over to them and squatted. Roses, peonies, lilies, and sunflowers were tied with a ribbon, and among the blooms was a white card.
Dan read the words printed on it, and his heart ached for the unknown writer.
Brad, we love you. We’ll never forget you. Mom and Dad.
The stone bore a single word and a date: Brad 04.16.95
Tears pricked his eyes, and he resisted the urge to touch the flowers or the stone. He had a feeling that would break him. Dan straightened, turned, and walked slowly back to where Gary stood on the path. As he drew closer, he inclined his head toward the bouquet.
“I think someone must have died here. His parents left flowers.”
Gary’s chin trembled. “That’s awful.” There was a tearful quality to his voice.
All Dan wanted to do was draw Gary close and hold him. He’s as affected by it as I am. But there was no way he could touch Gary.
If he did, there was no telling what he might reveal.
Gary pointed to the parking lot. “Come on. I’ll get you back to the hotel in time for dinner.”
“Will you stay and eat with me?” He wasn’t ready for the day to end, despite the mixed messages Gary was sending.
“To be honest, I’m tired. I think I’ll go home.”
“Will I see you tomorrow?” Dan asked as they reached the car.
“Sightseeing around Boston? Sure.” Gary unlocked the car, and they got in.
Dan stared through the windshield at the dappled shadows cast by the trees.
“I have a confession.” When Gary turned to look at him, he sighed.
“I wanted you to forget about the case for a while and relax.” I don’t think I’ve accomplished that.
Weariness settled on him, and he knew the day had taken its toll.
Gary expelled a long breath. “I’m sorry. I had a lot on my mind, and I couldn’t shut it down.” The engine burst into life, and he backed the car out of the space.
Dan couldn’t shake the idea that whatever occupied Gary’s thoughts, it wasn’t the case, and coming to the park had only made matters worse.