Chapter 14 #2
Clips from the album release flooded my timeline. Pictures of Kier smiling beside artists and executives I’d never met. I scrolled past most of it until a familiar face stopped me.
Maya.
The video had already accumulated hundreds of thousands of views.
“Now Kier, this is not who we’ve seen you with all Summer. What’s TEA? ”
I rolled my eyes before pressing play anyway.
It was only a few seconds long. Maya stood close enough to Kier that there wasn’t much space between them.
She laughed at something he said, reached up and adjusted the chain around his neck, then rested her hand against his chest for a second too long.
Kier smiled, said something I couldn’t hear over the music, she fell into him laughing, leaned to say something in his ear; then the video cut.
What the Hell
Objectively, I knew it wasn’t enough to mean anything. Unfortunately, social media didn’t operate on objectivity. Reading the comments made it evident.
‘The chemistry between them is crazy.’
‘Sis better watch her back.’
‘Mmh, Issa no for me.’
‘Dude trade em out fast, what happened to the other shorty??’
‘I don’t care who he hittin, long as Legacee album is coming. Ayee’
I locked my phone and tossed it onto the mattress beside me.
I hated that I’d watched it. I was pissed that I’d read the comments.
And I hated myself even more for wondering if everyone else had seen something I hadn’t seen.
I watched him at the release party, none of that happened.
Was it AI? I tried to gas-light myself into acting like I didn’t see what I knew I saw.
Maybe it happened at the party after I left.
Maybe he was so upset that he fell into what was familiar to him.
Maybe they had sex at the after party and that’s why he isn’t here.
How was everything turning upside down so quickly?
Maybe I was doing what I always did and turning one uncomfortable feeling into a catastrophe.
I rolled over and squeezed my eyes shut.
Kier came in around 3 in the morning. Just the sound of his footsteps moving through the house made my heart drop. I didn’t get up. Instead, I tracked his movement while my heart thudded vigorously. When he walked into the room, I sat up a little, and he paused when he saw me awake.
“I told you not to wait up.” He spoke dryly.
“Yeah, but—”
“You good?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
He nodded without giving me a kiss or any kind of physical acknowledgement.
Kier navigated through the dark of the room, taking off his jewelry and setting things down on the dresser.
Moments later, he turned the shower on and got inside.
When he got out, I angled my body toward him under the covers, propping myself up completely, then turned the light on.
“How was the rest of the night?”
“Cool,” he said. “Handled what I needed to.”
Again, very dry. He didn’t add any extra details or commentary. I let the silence sit for a second before speaking again. “What about your announcement?”
He glanced over at me while reaching for a t-shirt. “Went how it was supposed to.”
“I wasn’t there. What was it?” I asked.
“Just announced the Legacee album release date.”
“Oh.”
Neither of us said anything. I stared ahead for a second, then turned a fraction toward him. “Kier—”
“I just want to sleep, Si.”
I was curious about Maya, and curious about where we were; but I didn’t say another word.
Instead, I reached over, turning off the light.
The room went dark, settling us into an eerie silence.
I turned onto my side, facing away from him this time, pulling the covers up as I tried to get comfortable.
He didn’t touch me or move closer. And for the first time since I’d met him, his actions didn’t feel impulsive. They felt intentional.
I don’t even think I slept longer than an hour.
I tossed and turned all night, not fully being able to get comfortable.
Once I realized the sun was rising, it was too late to fall asleep.
My eyes burned, and the sheets were twisted around my legs.
Kier gave me a dry “Good morning,” and went to the bathroom.
I got up without saying anything, grabbed my things, and functioned around him like we were on separate tracks.
We passed by one another twice without touching.
He said he wanted to sleep, so I let him.
I was done trying to fill the space. When he wanted to talk, he would have to come to me.
Naomi knocked on the door, and I had halfway forgotten that I was annoyed with her, too.
She talked while we got ready, mentioning Houston, raving about the house, and about the session she had coming up.
She behaved as if last night hadn’t happened.
I answered when I had to, but I was short and to the point.
I knew I was being bitchy, but I was distressed and agitated. I didn’t bother fixing it, either.
The drive to the studio was quiet. Naomi tried a couple times, throwing out comments, little jokes, anything to ease the air, but I barely engaged.
I stared out the window, letting the city pass by without taking any of it in.
Kier drove with his hand resting on my thigh.
That should have brought me comfort, but it didn’t.
I didn’t lean into it this time because it felt more like weight than intimacy.
I still felt a way, and I know he did, too.
When we arrived at the studio, I noticed a huge difference from the one in Malibu.
No one was here but us three. It was quiet enough to hear every step.
It felt more artistic as well. Graffiti art was hung on the walls.
Even the furniture felt more artistic. I sat quietly on the couch while Kier walked Naomi into the booth.
Naomi’s energy picked up the second we stepped inside.
My sister was excited, and seeing that glimpse in her made me forgive her just a little. Just a little.
I watched as Kier gave instructions on headphones and other equipment in the booth.
When he came back out, he put on a smooth, slow beat and told Naomi to freestyle whatever was on her mind.
For a while, I watched both of them in their zone.
Then I found myself checking emails from work.
A while later, the music stopped, and Kier walked Naomi down the hall to have her work with someone else.
When he returned, he pulled the seat out and tapped it.
“Come holla at me.” He said to me, I hesitated at first, but his tone sounded more welcoming, so I had a little hope. I got up, leaving my phone and purse on the couch, and sat in the chair across from him while he stared at me. “You gonna tell me what that was last night?” He asked.
“Kier, I’ve tried, twice at that. You weren’t trying to hear me.”
“Yesterday was a lot to take in in general. I’m hearing you now, Si, so speak your piece.”
I crossed my arms, more to hold myself steady than anything else. “It wasn’t what it looked like.”
“You said that already.”
“And I meant it.”
He watched me, and I couldn’t tell if he was trying to do his little eye trick or if he was really hearing me out. I exhaled slowly, continuing to explain the situation the best way I could.
“I didn’t invite Naomi out here. I mean I did, but that was a while ago. I invited her out here for sister time.”
“You think I have a problem with your sister being here?” He questioned.
“I know what the issue is. I didn’t tell Naomi you were gonna do anything for her. I told her you were a producer and that’s only because she was trying to figure out how I’d be jet-setting all summer. This whole studio and new artist stuff, she put together on her own and ran with it.”
“And you ain’t correct it,” he said.
“I didn’t get the chance,” I replied. “She caught me off guard, and before I could even say anything, you went along with her craziness.
“So, you just stood there.”
“I froze, and I regret it,” I said honestly. “It looked bad. I know it did. And let’s be real, you had cameras everywhere last night. I wasn’t going to cause a scene. I wasn’t trying to play you or use you, Kier. That’s not me.”
Kier looked at me. Maybe he was deciding how much of me to believe, I don’t know. But I was happy to get it all off my chest.
“I don’t operate like that,” he added. “And you know that.”
“I know, and I hate that it came off like that, which is why I was trying to talk to you. You shut me out, babe. That hurt.”
He repositioned himself, running a hand along his jaw before looking back at me. “I didn’t plan to shut you out last night,” he added. “I just wasn’t about to have that conversation at that moment.”
“Yeah, but even when you came home, you were mean.”
“I’m used to people trying to get in through whoever they can,” he said. “That ain’t new.”
“I’m not ‘people,’” I replied sharply. “I’m not stupid, Kier.
You and I have had this conversation before.
I know what honesty and sincerity mean to you.
I know how hard you’ve worked on Kaori’s rollout all summer.
Do you really think I would have my sister pop up on a night like that?
Especially without a heads-up. I deserve a little more credit than you gave me. ”
“You right.” He paused. “I hurt you, Si, and I’m sorry. A nigga ain’t perfect.”
I sighed, feeling a bit of relief after finally being able to let everything out. I just wanted to be heard, and I hope he understood everything I was saying.
“What do you want me to do about her?” He asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “You gave her studio time. Let her have that. Afterwards, she’s on her own.”
“Nah, that doesn’t feel right.”
“It doesn’t feel right having you do more than you’ve already done either, especially when she lied to get it. Naomi will be a reminder of this unnecessary tension between us. I can’t have you questioning my sincerity years down the line, Kier.”