Chapter Two #2
Two days later, a doorbell camera arrived. She sent it back.
The next day, it came again. She sent it back again.
The day after that, a fire extinguisher appeared on her doorstep. It was the size of a small child, red and enormous, propped against the wall like a bodyguard. There was a note taped to it in handwriting she didn't recognize, but the words...
Those were definitely his.
You and I both know you burn things.
She stared at it for a long, long time.
But in the end...she just couldn’t help it.
The tears started falling anyway.
Why couldn’t he just let her go?
Why couldn’t he just help her...forget him?
Why?
She gazed down at his note, but all she could see this time was how she had indeed burned every piece of toast she had ever attempted, and Troy had insisted on eating each and every one of them.
She also remembered how she had once set off the smoke alarm with boiling water, and though nothing had really happened, and she had told him over the phone she was fine, it apparently hadn’t been enough for him.
He had left practice, drove back to their home like a madman, and had not just one doctor but a team of physicians check on her to make sure she was alright.
Three days later, Troy showed up, and all she could do was stare.
What was he doing here?
Troy could see that his wife was shocked at seeing him. And that...said everything. Did she really think he would just let her go like that? Did she truly think she meant that little to him?
He found himself fighting against the urge to reach for her as she stood in front of him, looking more beautiful and more fragile, too, in her oversized sweatshirt and leggings.
He would always think of her as his wife, but if there was one thing he had learned from the days he had to live without her...
“May I come in?”
This time, he wouldn’t take anything for granted.
Laina swallowed hard. The Troy she knew would have simply entered her apartment, not because he was the type to abuse his power or authority, but because they both knew she had never been able to resist him. And that was painfully true, even when they were now separated.
But this Troy, though...
This Troy was giving her a chance to say no, and although she knew that was what she should say—
Oh, Laina, you idiot.
She found herself stepping back without a word while struggling not to notice all the things she shouldn’t notice, like how powerful and gorgeous he still looked, and...stop it, Laina!
She had already signed the divorce papers. She wasn’t supposed to think anything that had to do with him being a man. From now on, he should just be...
A stranger, Laina told herself as she closed the door. From now on, she would simply think of him as a stranger, and if that was the case, then why had she allowed a stranger to enter her new home, aaargh!
Laina took a deep breath. Okay, let’s try again. She had already made the mistake of letting him in, but she could improve from here on and make another mistake.
She turned to face him, prepared to be cold and distant—
“Will you accept this?” Troy’s voice was low. “Please.”
But the moment she saw him holding out the doorbell camera box to her—
Laina reached for it with trembling hands.
“Thank you.” The tautness of his expression was...
unfamiliar. It was as if he had already prepared himself to be rejected, and that had broken her heart.
She could feel his gaze intensely focused on her, and her heart broke just a bit more because she just couldn’t help wondering...
Could there be relief under his guilt? Had their separation made him realize he was better off without her?
“Laina—”
Terror struck her out of the blue. Just the thought of him saying those things out loud—
I’m glad we’re over. You’re nothing to me. I’m just here because I’m the responsible sort.
She knew it would kill her for sure, and so she found herself babbling—
“The k-kitchen’s very small, isn’t it?”
And she would keep babbling until the danger was over, and she no longer sensed his need to speak.
“And the h-hallway...it’s a lot narrower than y-you’re used to, aren’t you?”
In fact, his shoulders were so broad, they practically spanned the entire width of the hallway, and...oh, his coat.
“I’m sorry. I forgot...your coat...”
The apartment had the tiniest cloakroom, but just as she was about to open it—
“Laina...”
He was speaking again, and her body started to tremble.
“Look at me.”
Her breath hitched at the command, and her heart started racing as he walked toward her. The closer he got, the more her heart raced.
No.
Oh no.
She started backing away without meeting his gaze, but this didn’t dissuade him at all. He followed her with the same single-minded focus that he was constantly praised for in his career.
Her back hit the counter, his arms were suddenly imprisoning her against it, and just like that, all she could think of was him.
The man she had married.
The man she had left.
The man she still loved.
“Look at me.”
Earlier, when he had said those exact same words, his tone had been quiet. Not a plea, but a request. And she had managed to resist it.
But now, with him issuing those same words as a command—
It was as if her body still saw her husband as its master, and even though she knew it was wrong, she found herself actually obeying him.
Her head slowly lifting, her gaze colliding with his—
“Come back to me, Laina.”
Her eyes teared. She hadn’t expected him to say that. And when his head started to lower, even though she knew she should push him away and ask him to leave—
Her eyes closed at the same moment his mouth closed over hers. His arms found her waist at the same moment her arms went around his neck, her body already melting against his even as he was pulling her toward him.
The kiss deepened, and her tears started to fall even as the space between their bodies disappeared, and a familiar sense of heat enveloped her senses.
For one long moment, even the pain wasn’t enough to hold her back, and she lost herself in the way he was holding her and kissing her.
His hunger and his desperate need for her were all so, so familiar.
It tempted her to forget everything and just give in—
But then they both heard a door outside her apartment slam open and shut, and the sound was enough to break free from the sensual spell that his kiss had weaved.
No no no no no no.
She pressed her hands against his chest, and even though he could have ignored it...she was thankful that was enough for him to take the hint. Troy slowly took a step back, and she could only bite her lip hard because the moment they were apart, it was like having the sunlight leave her world.
“Laina...”
She slowly shook her head.
He wanted to talk.
They way they should have talked a long, long time ago.
But now...
“C-Can we talk another time?”
She just couldn’t handle it.
“P-Please?”
There was a lot of things Troy wanted to say. But the moment he heard his wife’s voice break, he found himself slowly nodding.
“Alright.”
Because he had already hurt her enough.
Laina was so, so tired of crying. But the moment she saw the door close behind him, that was exactly what she found herself doing.
Why?
Why?
She didn’t even realize who she was talking to until her lips formed words that she found herself whispering out loud...
“Why, God?”
Why was it so hard to stop herself from loving him?
Was it because she was that stupid...or was He trying to tell her something else, and she just didn’t know what that was since she had never tried talking to God before?
I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.
She didn’t know if she was saying sorry to him or herself. She just knew that there wasn’t just her and him in this marriage. She also had to think about his plans and his dreams, and how someone ordinary like her would keep all of those things from coming true.