Prologue
DANK FLOORS, PITCH -black darkness, and the stench of days-old urine mingling with the odor of sweat and human waste. Things like that made it easier, safer, to just go crazy, especially when I thought of the fact that it was my pee...my waste...I was sitting next to.
A shudder ran through me, and I fought hard against the insidious urge to take the plunge and just end it.
Breathe. Relax. Keep your eyes open.
I repeated the words to myself silently in my mind while I rotated my ankles and wrists. All of them were chained, but I wanted to keep my limbs moving. Skin scraped against skin as I stirred on the ground. Somewhere along the way, someone had torn off my pants, leaving me in my shirt and panties.
Stay focused. Breathe. Be ready for anything.
Usually, those words were enough. But right now, I was feeling more than a little hopeless, forcing myself to seek comfort in make-believe.
Helios?
You should have called for me sooner, brat. His voice was a loving growl, just like the real Helios’. The voice came from the back of my mind, like Helios was standing behind me...but not letting me see him. He sounded so close it made me want to cry.
I want to see you. Please.
No.
You’re so selfish.
You still can’t see me.
Why?
Because I don’t want to spoil you too much. You need to be stronger right now, not weaker. I’ll let you see me naked—
I just want to see you, not “see” you like that!
Silence—
Are you sure? Helios’ voice was both a taunt and a teasing purr. It made my stomach twist for a reason other than fear, which lately was all that I had been feeling.
Shut up.
Silence again—
No. That’s what I would never do right now. I’ll always be here for you, brat. I’ll keep you company while we wait until I find the bastard who took you and—
“Are you awake?” A hoarse voice, followed by the sound of rattling chains.
Helios’ voice disappeared like I had never heard it. Like it was just a figment of my imagination, which it was, but I was trying my best to ignore that fact.
“MJ?”
His name was No. Or at least that was what they told him, he said. We were both sure it wasn’t true. The man who held us captive, the gender of his victims didn’t matter to him. What he cared about was how much fight you put up. He paid highly for those who resisted and killed those who dared bring him something weak.
No knew all about this because he had been around the longest, he told me proudly. He resisted every time.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him how wrong it was that he sounded so proud of doing what the man wanted, couldn’t let him know that I had a feeling he had already given up even if he thought he was still fighting.
“Yeah.” My voice was hoarse and knife thin. One word, and it felt like I had sliced my parched throat open. I wished I knew how many hours it took to feel this thirsty, but since James hadn’t ever thought of torturing me this way, I had no previous experience to rely on.
“You know what they say about missing persons?” No didn’t wait for an answer. “They say most people who get lost more than three days? Seventy-two hours? They’re rarely found alive...if ever.”
“But y-you’re still alive,” I pointed out, more desperately than I wanted. Inside me, panic was gradually taking the form of a monstrous little girl, tittering as she came close. I hated how contrary my imagination could be, making Helios impossible to see while my nightmares were all too vivid.
Panic came closer and closer, but I pushed her away. She fell back, still tittering.
“Am I?” No chuckled, but this was the first time something he did made me feel skittish and uneasy.
“Are you saying you’re a ghost?” I scoffed, but my voice sounded even thinner and more desperate than before. I wanted to call out for Helios, but I didn’t, telling myself that Helios was right. I had to be strong while waiting for him.
“Mm-hmm...”
“Stop it,” I said sharply.
“I’m good at counting hours, even in the dark. Do you know that?” he asked in a singsong voice. “ He taught me.”
“Stop it, No. I mean it.” I didn’t know what got into No, but I didn’t like this psychotic side of him. Had he finally snapped? Had it made him forget that victims had to stick together?
“You know how long you’ve been here?”
“No—” But I wasn’t sure if I was saying his name or if I wanted him to shut up.
“Seventy-one hours.” He started to laugh, and in the background I swore I could hear Panic tittering with him.
I shook my head furiously. My hair swatted my face and my lips with each vigorous shake, but I kept shaking my head because it was the only way to keep Panic from licking me all over.
“It doesn’t matter,” I whispered fiercely.
“Doesn’t matter what ?” No was taunting me. Why?
“Doesn’t matter how long I’m here! He’ll find me!”
“No one will find you—”
“Yes, he will—”
“No, no, no,” he sang, and Panic sang along with him.
“Yes,” I shouted. “He’ll find me! Because Helios loves me—”
He answered in his singsong voice, “Who’s Helios? I don’t know no Helios. Helios made a fool of us all—”
“He’s Helios Andreadis, the President of the Afxisi—”
Lights suddenly switched on, blazingly bright, blinding me for a second. For a second, I was terrifyingly disoriented, feeling like I had been transplanted from a dungeon to the operating ward of an asylum.
Something rattled, the sound of chains being yanked down, and when I forced myself to look towards the sound, I saw a man calmly releasing himself from his restraints.
“No?”
The man glanced at me—
One eye pulled down by sunken skin, the other half turned into a maze of scars, and sneering, drooling lips.
“My name is Manolito Chavez, MJ. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you, my dear. Your strength has amazed me all this time, but I knew there had to be a reason for it. You thought someone would come after you, didn’t you?”
The lips folded into a smile, making the face more grotesque. But what really made me want to throw up was the look in his eyes. He wanted to devour me, bit by bit, and he wanted me to cry with every inch he ate.
Something told me that my flesh wouldn’t be the first this man’s tasted, literally.
“And who knows? Perhaps he might have succeeded. But now that I know his name, I know what to look for. I know who to hide you from. I’m sorry to say, my dear, he will never find you again.”
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I screamed the word inside my mind. I would rather die than let him know how much he had me terrified. I tried to summon Helios, but it seemed even his image, his voice, was blocked from my mind.
NO, NO, NO!
This time, I knew I wasn’t saying his name.
This time, I knew there was no escape.
Swish.