Chapter 24
Maddox glanced over at Gran to ensure she was still sleeping and then continued to scroll on their laptop.
It wasn’t unusual for Gran to nap in her chair during their visits, but Maddox didn’t mind.
She always looked sort of thrilled to see Maddox sitting there when she woke up, no matter how many times it happened, and who could be bothered by that?
Besides, Maddox could entertain themself.
They usually brought their laptop with them to the care facility for times like this and reviewed resort-related matters like upcoming reservations, conference bookings, or even various inventories, if need be.
But today, they were trying to make a point of doing something besides work, even though it made them feel jittery and not a little guilty.
You are more.
Rhonda’s words from a few days ago came back to Maddox, as did the feeling they’d described to her when they’d talked about being with Denise.
Denise had said she thought Maddox could thrive in any field they had a mind to try.
While Maddox thought she was being overly generous, it had prompted them to think about what work they could do besides hotel stuff.
And that’s how they found themself scrolling job boards and career sites.
It seemed like even more positions now required a college degree than they had the last time Maddox had needed work, before Oliver had hired them.
That realization led to them scrolling through the academic programs list on the website for the nearest community college, which was quickly becoming overwhelming.
An image of their dad’s face twisted in anger flashed through Maddox’s mind.
They could almost hear his voice as if he were sitting in the room with them.
They didn’t have to speculate much to know what he’d say.
“I told you if you didn’t get your shit together, you’d end up like this: no education, no future, barely scraping by! ”
For most of Maddox’s youth, their ambitious father had been determined his only child would become a college graduate and get a good job or at least marry well to continue his mission of upward mobility away from his and his wife’s lower middle-class roots which he disdained with a passion.
As a small child, Maddox had lived in enough awe of their dad’s temper to be the “good little girl” he expected, behaving well and making good grades, but most of that had changed once they’d hit their teen years.
Maddox’s growing interest in girls instead of boys was only the first of many blows to their dad’s expectations.
If he were alive now, her dad would no doubt blame Maddox’s current predicament on all the ways they had disappointed him back then.
Maddox’s pulse picked up, and their head throbbed as they tried to shake off the memories and focus on the various course offerings and sample syllabi.
They tried to imagine themself struggling to get immersed in all of that and actually learning something.
By the time they got to the part of the website about tuition and fees, they were really starting to lose it.
Without thinking, they shoved their chair back and snapped their laptop closed.
Gran jerked awake, looking around in alarm, and Maddox grimaced. “I’m sorry, Gran.”
Her eyes focused on them, and her usual grin broke out. “Maddie! When did you get here?”
“A little while ago.” They reached over and squeezed her hand. It felt small and bony in theirs. “Can I get you something?”
“Nah, I’m fine.” She sat up and rubbed her eye behind her glasses. “What have you been up to?”
Maddox shrugged. “Oh, I was thinking about what I might want to do in the future. I got a silly idea in my head that maybe I should go to college or something.”
Gran blinked at them. “Why’s that silly? You’re so smart.”
They couldn’t help but scoff. It was normally Gran’s short-term memory that was the issue, but she had clearly forgotten things from Maddox’s past too.
“Gran, I was nearly expelled from my high school for fighting. If I hadn’t quit school when Mom and Dad died, I probably would have been kicked out. ”
“I know you went through a rough patch back then. But after you came here, you went to summer school and eventually got your diploma,” Gran answered.
Wow, I guess she remembers more than I thought.
Gran continued musing, eyes focused on the window, like she was looking back to the past. “I remember being worried about you finishing at first because I never saw you studying from your books. So I started asking you questions about your lessons, and I realized you were just really good at listening to the lectures and remembering what the teachers said. You scored well on your tests and everything.”
Maddox nodded slowly. Reading had been a challenge for them back then and still was. But they had enjoyed learning. They did now, too. Nowadays, they’d listen to podcasts about different topics while they worked and watch documentaries in their rare downtime. Learning was fun in the right format.
Before their parents had died, they’d just gotten into too much trouble for it to matter how or what they learned.
Week after week had been the same thing: Maddox would walk around in a ball of frustration, chafing at the way they felt in their own skin, lashing out at classmates or teachers before being sent home to their mom’s quiet disappointment and their dad’s explosive anger.
Their blood ran cold as they remembered that final argument. But they tried to push it from their mind.
Things had been different when they’d gone back to school.
Gran had indeed figured out that Maddox learned differently because she’d taken such an active interest. She’d offered a wise yet nonjudgmental listening ear when Maddox talked about school and life and had helped them study for tests.
When Maddox had insisted on continuing to work while finishing school, Gran had helped them get the job at the resort too.
Life with her had been unexpected in so many ways.
As odd as it may have sounded for a grandparent and grandchild, Maddox and Gran had a lot of getting acquainted to do when they’d first come to live with her.
As a kid, Maddox’s mom and dad had spent little time with either of their respective families.
Their dad would make the drive to Arkansas for them to see Gran at Christmas, but that was about it.
The visits to their mom’s family in southern Oklahoma were even less frequent.
But Maddox remembered well the day they’d moved to Gran’s house. They could picture Gran looking nervous as she’d stood in the tiny spare room that she’d cleared of her sewing stuff to make a bedroom for Maddox.
“I’m sorry, Maddie,” she’d said. “I know it’s nothing like what you’re used to.”
And no, it hadn’t been like the five-bedroom status symbol house in the gated community where Maddox had lived with their parents. But it also hadn’t been like the dingy loft apartment they’d had to move to after their parents had died because the house had been mortgaged up to the rafters.
“It’s just right, Gran,” Maddox had assured her with a hug.
Gran had been generous, patient, and encouraging in ways Maddox had never experienced. Thank God they’d decided to stay with her back then. It had made all the difference in their life.
A thin sheen of tears formed in their eyes, and they listened to Gran ramble on about that time period as if it were yesterday and not six years ago.
It was hard to believe that she was still encouraging them now, even with her health and memory in decline.
Maddox glanced down at their laptop and vowed to keep doing research until they figured out a plan. They owed it to Gran, and they owed it to themself too.