CHAPTER 20
CARA
Arran maneuvered us so I was directly under the spray from the wide rainfall shower head, then he closed in at my back and wrapped one of his arms around my waist.
“Is the water warm enough fer ye?” Arran asked as he leant in to kiss the side of my neck so softy. I nodded as the sensation sent a shudder through my body.
I could feel the hardness of him pressed against my back and it thrilled me, knowing he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
“I’ve imagined ye in the shower with me many times since I met ye, lass, but nothing beats the real thing,” he told me as his free hand ran feather soft touches up and down my right side, every barely there touch of his fingers against my skin driving me higher.
My body was alight with need and desperation as I spun in his hold and reached on my tip toes to wrap my arms around his neck. I loved the way his hard body pressed against my front, the water slick between us.
“Kiss me,” I demanded as I pulled him down to meet me halfway, then crashed my lips over his.
I clung to him tightly, not wanting him to pull away and stop the moment, but he didn’t. Instead he ran his hands down my back, over my butt, and to the back of my thighs, then he lifted me up, wrapping my thighs around his waist so we were eye to eye and able to deepen the kiss more.
He used one hand to hold up my weight, and I tried to help by interlocking my feet behind his back. Then his other hand started to roam, exploring my wet skin slowly, almost painfully so.
“Jesus. Yer skin’s so soft,” he uttered as he pulled back and seemed to take a moment to look me over. “It’s like silk. I could stay right here all day, just touching you.”
“I have to admit, I was hoping for a little more than that,” I replied playfully, and he huffed out a laugh, lightening the mood a little.
Feeling like I had a steady grip on him with my legs, I released my hands from where they were clinging around his neck, and ran them over the hard planes of muscle on his shoulders and down his back.
“Aye? Tell me then, tell me everything you were hoping fer,” he pushed.
“I told you. I want you, Arran, all of you,” I replied.
“Then ye’ll have me.”
His lips moved from mine, to blaze a trail down my neck and across my shoulder.
I grabbed his shoulders again and hoisted myself higher up against him, moaning when the movement made my core rub against his abdomen. I moved there again, desperate to alleviate the building pressure.
“Ma poor wee thing. Are ye needin’ to come?” Arran asked, and when I opened my eyes he was looking at me with a knowing smirk.
“Please…” I moaned.
“I have been wantin’ te get a taste of ye,” he said with a grin. “Drop down fer me darlin’ and I’ll take good care of ye.”
Without any hesitation I released my legs from his waist and slid down him until my feet hit the tiled base of the shower. I knew what Arran was offering and I was completely ready for it.
Impatiently I grabbed his waist at each side and pulled him until he stepped right up to me, his body brushing against mine, and teasing every nerve ending within me even more.
“In a rush?” he whispered playfully, then he kissed me before I could reply, his lips crashing over mine, the kiss brief but possessive. I got the feeling Arran was over me being in control.
“Step back fer me,” he told me as he pulled away, and I did. Arran held my hips and eased me back a little more, until I hit the too cold wall of the shower. I flinched a little at the coolness against my heated body, but quickly settled there, eager for the promised relief.
“If ye want to come, ye’ll be a good lass and hold onto my shoulders the whole time, right?
Ye let go, and I stop,” he threatened as he knelt down before me and eased each of my hands onto his broad shoulders.
He was at the right height that I didn’t stoop even a little to place my hands there. He was that much taller than me.
I clung onto his muscled shoulders and closed my eyes in a desperate bid to just calm my raging body down. I could barely think straight beyond the need for Arran to put his mouth on me and make it better.
“Cara, look at me,” he demanded, so I opened my eyes and met his.
“If ye say ‘stop’ at any point, everything will stop, alright? I want ye to do that if ye start to feel even a little nervous or anxious. Remember what I said – there’s nae room for fear between us.
If yer feeling any, then we need te pause and find out why, okay? ”
“Okay,” I nodded.
“So what will you say if you feel unsure?” he asked.
“Stop. But I won’t need to. All I ever feel is good things when you’re with me,” I assured him, and he smiled.
“Good. Now let’s see if we can make ye feel mind blowing things with me too,” he teased.
He urged me to widen my stance and I did. My body was humming with anticipation and out of control need.
Thankfully, Arran didn’t toy with me, he just dove in and I cried out instantly when his tongue brushed over my clit just a little too lightly for my wants.
“Arran,” I groaned as I leant further into the wall and gripped his shoulders as tight as I could, feeling like I needed to hold on.
Arran moaned like he was enjoying his task, then he seemed to dive in, his mouth and tongue everywhere, and I was just lost to the pleasure. I cried out when he sucked on my clit, then I felt his thick fingers push inside of me and it just got better.
“Yes! Arran…oh God!” I gasped nonsensically.
My orgasm came all at once and I had to try hard not to cry out as loud as I felt the need to, knowing Rafe was just a floor above. But I came so suddenly and so hard, it was like being hit with a tidal wave of pleasure, release, and bliss.
“Arran…” I was lost for words as I stood there, still gripping his shoulders, my head slumped forwards, just trying to catch my breath. My legs were shaking beneath me and I felt them start to give up, my knees buckling.
“I’ve got ye,” Arran spoke, and before I could even open my eyes and lift my head I felt him scoop me up and press me against his chest as he rose to his full height. “Christ, yer so stunnin’ when ye come, darlin’,” he uttered as he cradled me close and kissed the top of my head.
I opened my eyes, coming back down from my high, only to be greeted by Arran’s handsome and content face.
“So good,” I told him, knowing there was a smile on my face too. I couldn’t stop it. I felt so at peace.
“We were aiming fer mind blowing, if I recall,” he teased.
“Well, we’re not done yet, are we?”
“That’s up to you. Are ye up to more?” he asked as he seemed to watch me for a sign I wasn’t.
“Up to it, and ready for it. I want this with you Arran, as long as you want it too.”
“I want you, Cara. I’ve wanted ye since pretty much the moment I laid eyes on ye,” he confessed and I felt myself blushing at his impassioned words.
“Do you have a condom? I’m not on birth control or anything,” I explained, trying hard to keep my head enough to cover the necessities. “I should probably sort that out,” I added as I realised it would be a smart move when I was in love with three men.
“We can talk about that later. I have a condom in my wallet. I dinnae usually carry them, just te be clear, but I started after what we did the other night with Cal. I thought it wise to be ready, just in case,” he told me honestly.
“Always prepared, huh?” I joked and he chuckled.
“Aye, seems so.” He set me down and leant out of the shower for a moment, I assumed to grab the condom from his wallet, which must have been in his jeans.
I realised as I stood there under the spray of the warm water, that I felt no nerves about having sex with Arran.
There was nothing to fear. I knew I was safe with him, and not just physically.
All I actually felt in that moment or two was impatient excitement.
Nothing that had happened between us in that shower, or with he and Cal the time before, had felt a thing like the violence I had faced in regard to sex in the past.
They were two different things, I realised. Maybe they came under the same umbrella of ‘sex’ but what had happened in my past was not consensual. It was abuse and violence. It was all about the monsters who used me getting what they needed and not giving a regard for the hole they used for that.
My present – with Cal and Arran, and I was sure with Dio too when we got there, was about pleasure and emotion.
It was about trust and love. When Cal and Arran had touched me it hadn’t been purely about them using me for what they wanted.
In fact, so far, it had been the complete opposite, it was them giving me exactly what I needed with no thought of their own needs.
It had been about our connections and building something strong between us. It had been about love.
What happened to me in the past, couldn’t affect what happened in the present, because what I had with the men I loved didn’t compare. The two things were so many worlds apart, and that realisation felt huge for me.
“Cara? Are ye alright, darlin’?” I startled as Arran’s arms wrapped around me, dragging me from my too deep thoughts.
I looked up and found him right before me, his arms around my waist and pulling me into his front.
“It’s alright if yer no’ ready. I’m no’ goin’ anywhere, so we’ve nae need to rush this. ”
I reached up to place my hands over his shoulders and smiled softly up at him. His hair was wet now, his top knot weighed down with the water, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever found him more attractive.
“I’m ready,” I told him confidently. “I think I just had a break through moment too.”
“About what?”
“Us. This. Me. My past has no place between us right now, Arran, and I just realised that.”
“Ma brave wee one,” he crooned as he leaned in and kissed my lips softly. “Yer so strong. Ye never cease te amaze me.”
“I’m not there yet, but I’m trying,” I admitted. “And this…” I leaned in and kissed him. “…this feels like moving forwards in the best way.”