CHAPTER 23 #3
“Don’t you bloody dare, Rafe!” I cried as I shot to my feet and moved away from him.
“Don’t you dare try and act like I’m not sane enough to make my own decisions just to get your own selfish way!
I know I’m a mess, but I’m not incompetent.
I know what I want and I haven’t been fucking vulnerable for a really long time!
I learned not to be after years of abuse, all during the time I waited for you to keep your stupid promise! ”
“Lass,” I turned and found Arran right at my back.
It wasn’t until I happily fell into his waiting arms that I realised how hard I was shaking, and how short of breath I was.
My eyes were glassy and I was so grateful Arran had come to me.
Him holding me took the edge of the anger that was consuming me.
“This is what I mean. I know you’re strong, Cara, but you get so upset and you’re looking for solace. You found it in the three of them and mistook it for love,” Rafe spoke and I shook even harder at the things he was saying.
He was accusing me of not being mentally sound and it hurt after all of the times he’d told me how strong I was. Had he been lying the whole time, just to appease me?
“Stop talking, man, before you completely ruin your relationship with your sister,” Dio warned sharply.
“That’s what you want, isn’t it? To separate us so she can become completely reliant on you. I won’t allow that to happen. I want you all out of my house. Pack your bags and leave in the next thirty minutes, or I’ll have my men remove you.”
“No!” I cried as I lifted my head from Arran’s chest and looked to Rafe. “You can’t do that!”
“I’m protecting you, Cara. You’ll understand eventually,” he said calmly. He was like an entirely different person and it was so wrong.
“Rafe, please…”
“No Cara!” he shouted, making me jolt badly in Arran’s hold. “They don’t get to live under this roof, using you, screwing you! You don’t see it, but I do. You’re convenient, their live in fuck-buddy, and you crave their attention, too broken to see you deserve more! I won’t have it!”
“Rafe!” Dio barked angrily, but that was all he got out because he had to turn to grab Cal, stopping him from going for my brother.
I wasn’t sure I had ever felt as heartbroken as I did right then. Did Rafe really think that little of me? My whole body was shaking so hard I was struggling to stand, but anger won out before the hurt hit.
“You know who you look and sound like right now?” I asked tearfully. “Him! You’re being just like your bastard of a father! He’d be so fucking proud!”
“Cara…”
“Come on,” I sniffled as I looked across the room to Dio, holding my hand out to him. He came over, dragging an irate Cal with him, and they surrounded me.
“Where are you going?” Rafe demanded.
“If they’re leaving, I’m going with them.
They know who I am and love me for it anyway.
I don’t think you have the first clue,” I told him sadly.
“I love you Rafe, but I won’t deal with you when you try to control my life.
I’m not out of my mind. I’m living with trauma.
I’m trying to survive the hell I’ve lived!
That doesn’t make me weak or stupid. Dio, Arran, and Cal get that.
I thought you did too!” I cried. “Marcello terrified me when he was alive, and you’re doing a pretty perfect impression of him right now. ”
“You’re afraid of me?” He looked horrified at the notion.
“I don’t even know you right now,” I told him honestly.
Arran wrapped his arm around me as we all started to leave the office, but I paused when I heard Dio’s voice.
“At least let me help you back up to bed, Rafe. You’re exhausted and struggling to breathe,” Dio suggested gently.
No matter what, he loved my brother and that was clear to hear in those words. He didn’t want to leave Rafe weakened and hurting. Nor did I, but I also didn’t want to be left alone with him after the way he’d just behaved.
“Just get out, Dar,” Rafe sighed, like he had nothing left in him.
“Fine, but I’ll send Brax in to help you and keep an eye on you. Ring me when you’ve calmed down and seen sense.”
With that Dio left the office and followed us all upstairs so we could pack bags.
I couldn’t stop crying. I felt like I were being split in two.
Half of me wanted to be with Rafe. He needed me, and a part of me was sure he couldn’t have meant the crap he had just spouted.
He was exhausted and in pain, and he had been shocked to see me and Dio the way he did.
But the other half couldn’t even stand to have the guys away from me.
I needed them close. They were the only thing holding me together at my worst moments, and I knew I’d feel like I were drowning without them.
I had been forced to choose and it hurt so much. All I could do was hope that Rafe would come around soon, because I couldn’t lose him. The man I had left in the office wasn’t Rafe, not my Rafe anyway. My Rafe was caring and gentle. He’d never say the things he just said. I wanted him back.