Chapter 4
THOMAS
Pulling my vehicle up outside of my younger brother Beau and his wife, Marley’s place, I allow myself a minute to sulk in my feelings.
All three of my siblings are married or with their forever person and have families of their own, and then there’s little old me.
Single, living alone in my boring apartment with my dog who is more human than most animals.
I haven’t even had a real date in well over a year.
Not that that means anything. I’ve gone through so many failed talking phases on dating apps it’s almost comical at this point.
The loneliness is eating at me, and I’m growing impatient. It feels as if a part of me is missing.
Who knows, maybe I’m meant to be single.
For a while I was okay with it, but now, I see how happy my siblings are and I can’t help but feel jealous.
I want what they have. I want my person, I want the relationship, the marriage with a house and a dog and two and a half kids.
I’m thirty-six. I’m aging, and I want to find someone to spend my life with.
Ten years ago, I was convinced that I’d find my person right away. Now, I’m unsure if it will ever happen.
Arson nudges my arm away from the steering wheel. “Alright, buddy, I know you’re excited to see the kids. Let’s go.” At my words, he stands from his sitting position, his tail wagging furiously.
I get out, letting him hop over the console and onto the gravel driveway.
It’s hard to believe that Marley and Beau’s twins are already a year old.
They, along with Lennie, my older brother, Jason’s daughter, and Fallon, his girlfriend’s daughter, Presley, are all getting so big, so fast. It’s crazy.
Time won’t slow down. Jason and Fallon were both single parents who met back in college, and found their way back to each other last year.
Speaking of Lennie and Presley, they sprint across the lawn toward my vehicle once they see that I’m here.
“Uncle Tommy,” Lennie yells, a wide smile taking over her face.
Her dark brown hair is in two long braids over her shoulders, and she’s wearing a purple bathing suit with pink flowers all over it.
Presley is in a similar suit, only hers is blue with yellow flowers.
Her dusty blonde hair is shorter, but also in braids. “We’ve been waiting hours for you.”
“Hours?” I reply, throwing a hand to my chest dramatically. “How did you ever survive waiting that long?”
Presley scratches the top of Arson’s head, and he moans in delight over the extra love that she’s giving him.
“It was really hard,” Lennie states. “But everyone is waiting for you. Come on!” She waves her arm, and both she and Presley take off in another sprint toward the backyard.
Arson takes off and follows them, beating them to the back where everyone sits.
It’s beautiful outside. The sun is shining, and it’s not too hot or humid, so it should be a perfect afternoon.
When I round the corner of the house, I see my entire family sitting in lawn chairs on the porch and around the patio table under the umbrella.
My sister-in-law, Josie, takes up two chairs, one for her body, the other to elevate her legs.
She’s almost eight months pregnant with my next nephew, and absolutely miserable.
Her red hair is up in a messy bun, and she’s wearing a tank top and cotton shorts.
My brother, Andrew, stands behind her, holding a fan over her face as it blows cool air on her.
Beau has one of the twins, Arlo, on his hip and is talking to him, while Marley holds Ariel’s hands, letting her practice walking.
Fallon sits on Jason’s lap next to Josie, while my parents and Gramps sit across the table from them.
I feel bad about being late, but I couldn’t sleep last night, and only fell asleep at seven-thirty this morning, giving me about six hours of sleep.
I texted Beau to let him know I would be a little late, and he understood.
Flipping back to a day schedule after a night rotation is always exhausting. I can never get back on the right track.
“Hi, honey,” my mom greets, standing up from her chair to give me a hug.
“Hey Ma.” I hug her back. My dad greets me with a head tip, and I pick the chair closest to my Gramps to sit.
I reach over and squeeze his shoulder. I’ve always been extremely close with my gramps, and was equally close with my grandma before her passing.
Gramps has been the constant in our family.
The one to make us all laugh when times are hard, and support each of us on each journey we take in life.
“How’s work been?” my dad asks. I can see the subtle question in his eyes that he wants to ask, but he doesn’t. By now, the news is out that there was another teenage death the other night.
I shrug. “Another overdose.”
He winces. “How old?”
“Seventeen,” I say with a sigh. The memory of his mother wailing in my arms after we notified her of his death hits me square in the chest. “He told his mom he was going to a friend’s house for the night, and instead went to a party at an abandoned house.”
“I’m sorry, son. I know this investigation has been weighing on you,” my dad replies. My mom offers me a sympathetic smile.
Luckily, Gramps changes the subject. Though it’s not exactly in my favor. “Heard you were out with a girl the other morning.” He grins, the familiar mirth shining in his eyes.
I raise my brow as I glance over. “You gossip more than anyone I know, old man.”
He guffaws loudly, clutching his hand to his chest. “What can I say? I need to keep tabs on all my kiddos.”
Shaking my head, I chuckle. “Let me guess, Fred is the one who told you?” I thought I saw Gramps’ best friend sitting at one of the counter spots, but didn’t think much of it at the time.
“Sure did. He’s one of my spies.”
I’m not surprised. “Is he really a spy if you gave up his position?”
“He’s not a very good one anyway. Though he did give me some valuable information. Told me you were out with a pretty blonde.”
“I was out with a pretty blonde,” I admit.
Hannah’s gorgeous. Totally my type, curvy, sweet, kind, and gorgeous blue eyes that look like they could tell you a story if you looked hard enough, but I doubt she’d ever go for me.
I mean, we work together, and I’m probably too old for her taste.
“But it’s nothing. Her name is Hannah. She’s a paramedic I work with.
We had plans with the rest of the crew on shift the other morning to go out for breakfast and decompress, but Hannah is the only one who could make it. ”
From across the table, Marley pipes in, “Oh my god, I love Hannah. I mean, I’ve really only met her the one time, but she was so kind, and so good at her job.”
“She’s an amazing medic,” I agree. Shortly after Marley found out she was pregnant with the twins, she passed out while at her photography studio.
Beau called me in a panic because he knew I was on duty and could help get medical services dispatched over there quickly.
Hannah was the paramedic on duty that day.
“She did really well calming both of us down,” Beau says, coming to stand behind Marley, wrapping his arms around her midsection.
Arlo toddles over to me, holding his arms up, fingers grabbing at me.
I pull him into my lap, blowing a raspberry on his cheek.
He squeals and giggles, sending a burst of warmth through me.
Ariel shoves at her mother’s arms, desperate to get to me after seeing the joy on her brother’s face.
Soon, I have all my nieces and nephews in my lap and by my side.
The twins are in my arms, while Lennie and Presley stand on either side of me, cooing and teasing the twins.
I spot Marley sneaking out her camera, snapping pictures of the interactions.
I’ll have to get some copies of the photos later.
“Yeah, like I said, she’s great,” I state, returning my focus back to the previous conversation.
“So, it’s settled then. You should ask her out,” Gramps declares.
I let out a stuttered laugh. “I can’t ask her out, Gramps.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because,” I state, taking a deep, fortifying breath. “I’m sure she’s got guys lining up to take her out, and I’m a lot older than her. She’s not interested.”
“You won’t know until you try,” Andrew states from where he sits by Josie, now rubbing her feet.
I shake my head again. “I really don’t think it would be a good idea. I mean we work together. Wouldn’t it be awkward when we break up?”
“Who said you have to break up?” Josie says, affectionately rubbing her baby bump. “I mean, really, the chances are fifty-fifty. I say, cross that bridge when you come to it. If you’re interested in her, go for it. The worst thing that could happen is she says no.”
“Yeah, and then what? The awkwardness of seeing her nearly every shift would be enough to make me want to crawl in a hole. And when did this turn into a conversation about my love life? It’s a birthday party.” I gesture to the zoo animal themed tablecloth.
“No one else is here yet,” Beau says, shrugging off my attempt to change the subject.
I let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll think about it, but honestly, I don’t see it ending well for me.”
“Manifest good things,” Fallon states as she sits down next to me.
Lennie leaps into her lap, and Fallon pulls her into her arms. It’s been incredible watching how seamlessly Fallon and Presley weaved their way into Jason and Lennie’s little family.
Fallon kisses the top of her head and whispers in her ear.
As more people start to arrive, I continue to think of Hannah.
It’s like my family mentioning it has flipped a switch.
I’ve always been attracted to her, all her curves and natural beauty, but in all honesty, I never thought I’d have a shot with her, so I tamped it down and kept it platonic.
But after having the first real one on one conversation I’ve ever had with her the other morning, and my family putting the bug in my ear, I can honestly say I’d love to get to know her more.
She’s so closed off, so quiet and reserved, but has the best smile, and a genuine, kind heart.
I’ve seen it when she interacts with her patients.
I’d love to see what she’s like behind her walls.