Chapter 56 Thomas
THOMAS
My entire body is heavy as I try to pry my eyes open. I blink hard and try to take a deep breath. My mouth is dry, eyes crusty as brightness seeps through my lids. I squeeze my eyes shut against the offensively bright sunlight.
“Thomas?”
“Mmm,” I answer. We must have slept hard last night because my entire body is stiff.
“You’re awake?”
“Yeah,” I grumble. My throat hurts, like I’ve been breathing with my mouth open all night. Hannah’s not usually this talkative in the mornings. Usually, I’m the one who has to pry her up out of bed.
“Oh, thank god,” she mumbles, her fingers fluttering down my cheeks.
Her words confuse me. I flick my eyes open again, this time blinking against the bright light instead of closing them. My surroundings flicker into view, and it’s then I notice the tube under my nose and the steady beeping of a heart monitor. Oh, fuck.
Everything rushes back into my memory. I was shot. I look down at my right thigh where blood was spewing out the last time I saw it. Now, it’s covered with a wrapped dressing around my thigh.
A hand pushes my hair back from my face. “Hannah,” I breathe. “You’re okay?”
“I’m the one who should be asking you that, you dummy.” She lets out a watery chuckle, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m fine. I got to the scene once they had it under control.”
“Thank god,” I murmur, dropping my head to the stiff, crinkly pillow. “I was so scared you would be walking into an active scene.”
She shakes her head. “No. How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” I reply.
“How is your pain?”
I shrug. “It hurts, but it’s not bad.”
Hannah drops her hand from my cheek. “I’ll go see when you can have more meds.”
I reach out, wrapping my fingers around her wrist. “No, I’m fine. Stay, please.”
“Thomas…”
“Please, Hannah.” I pull her closer to me until she has to sit on the edge of the bed. She relents, curling up into my side. Wetness seeps into my hospital gown from her tears. “I’m okay, baby.”
“I know,” she cries. “I was so scared. You were bleeding so much and I was trying so hard to stop it, but it wouldn’t stop. You were so pale.”
I lift my head to press a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you for saving me,” I whisper. Unfortunately, that makes her cry harder, so I have to come up with something to distract her.
“Who has Arson?” I ask. “And what time is it? What day is it?”
“It’s early morning. Your mom went to go get some coffee. You got done with surgery at about midnight last night. Arson is with Miles. He got him from your squad car. I’ll pick him up later, but he sent some pictures, do you want to see them?”
I shake my head. I need her close to me.
Is now the best time for a confession of love? Probably not, but if there’s anything that this has taught me is that I’m not waiting a second longer to tell her how I feel.
“I remember waking up for a second in that ambulance,” I say, and she tenses.
“You do?” she tentatively asks.
“Mhm. I need you, too, you know.”
Hannah nods into my chest. “I hoped you didn’t hear that.”
“Why?”
“I shouldn’t have waited to tell you. Then, I chose when you were unconscious to say it all. I was a chicken.”
“I wasn’t unconscious. I heard it all, Hannah.”
“Really?” She lifts her head, turning to look me in the eyes. Her bright blue eyes are glimmering with tears, and with how swollen and red they are, she must have been crying a lot.
“I did. Remember that surprise I had planned?”
She nods.
“I love you, Hannah. I was going to tell you last night. Obviously, life had other plans for us, but it doesn’t change how much I love you.”
Hannah whimpers in my arms, leaning forward to kiss me. “I love you too, Thomas.”
“If I have it my way, you’ll never have to live without me.”
“I’d like that.” Hannah smiles, then scrunches her nose, pointing to the corner of the room where a plastic bag sits with my uniform in it. “We need to throw out every pair of your superhero underwear though. They aren’t lucky anymore.”
“What?” I bellow, coughing against the scratch of pain in my throat from the tube. “Yes they are.”
“No, they’re not! Thomas, the night of our first date, we saw Henry get shot. Then, you were wearing them yesterday for some reason, and you get shot. We’re throwing them out.”
“They are lucky,” I say stubbornly. “Sure, some bad things have happened when I was wearing them. I can agree to that. But, even better things have happened because of them. That night, I got to take you on the best first date I’ve ever been on, my last first date to be honest. If I weren’t wearing them, maybe Elena wouldn’t have let you come with me.
Then we wouldn’t have had all that time together at Ron and Dottie’s alone.
I probably would have come home after six weeks to find you dating some guy named Luke or something. ”
Hannah scoffs. “Right.”
“I’m serious, baby. I wore them the night we made love the first time. I knew that taking you on that date in the truck was going to be pivotal in our relationship. I didn’t know how pivotal it would be, but still. I wore them yesterday because I planned to tell you I love you.”
“How is where we are now, good luck though?” she asks, her voice filled with sass.
“I’m not saying it is. But, who knows. Maybe me getting shot pushed you into telling me you loved me first, unconscious or not,” I say with a shrug.
“You’re ridiculous,” Hannah breathes.
“Ridiculously in love,” I croon. I tilt her head up to meet mine.
“I love you, Hannah. I’ll say it as many times as it takes to make you believe it.
I’ve loved you for a long time, but I knew you weren’t ready to hear it, so I showed you instead.
I will continue to show you how much I love you until the day I die.
Fake fiancée or not, I intend to make it real someday, and after that, you will be my wife.
The person I choose to love and show up for, no matter what. ”
Hannah leans forward, kissing me deeply. Her hand cups my cheeks gently, and I know she’s afraid to hurt me, and I desperately wish we were home right now.
“Thank you for loving me, even when I was too scared to accept your love the way you deserved,” she replies, kissing me again. “I will love you forever, Thomas.”
Her words are better than any medicine that they could give me. A balm over the painful wound on my thigh, I sink into the uncomfortable bed, pulling her onto my chest. I run my fingers over her hair, twirling little pieces between my fingers.
No, this wasn’t the way I planned it, but then again, nothing about our relationship has been normal.