30. Elliot
30
ELLIOT
I’m starting to think I was wrong about Grady having feelings for me. We’ve barely seen each other outside the bedroom for the last two weeks, and now that we’re together in front of our friends, he’s acting strange. I first noticed it when he walked into Ellie and King’s apartment, smiling at everyone but me. He wouldn’t even look at me for longer than a second, his eyes bouncing from Ellie on my left to Scott on my right.
We’re all sitting at King’s kitchen table, at Grady’s insistence, and he’s declaring that he has an announcement. For one heart-stopping second, I think he’s about to confess his feelings in front of everyone like some grand romantic gesture.
Unfortunately for my little heart, that isn’t what he says. “I met with Perry this afternoon and got the all clear. I’m going to be on the field for game one tomorrow.”
There’s a moment of breathlessness, a beat of complete silence, then Mills nearly upends the table when he jumps to his feet.
“Fuck yes!” His shout of excitement is echoed around the room as everyone cheers and congratulates Grady. He smiles. He lets Steal slap his head a few times. He exchanges barbed comments with Scott.
He doesn’t look at me.
I volunteer to clear the table while everyone is still talking about Grady’s return to the field. No one notices I’m picking up plates and carrying them to the kitchen in their excitement. It feels like every other time I’ve been here with the entire family. They all have their relationships, their bonds to one another that transcend their attachments to me. Even Ellie, my twin and best friend since birth, turns her attention to King when I take her empty plate from the table.
I’m so used to blending into the background that I don’t understand why it bothers me so much this time. I like disappearing. I like not having every eye on me. I’m comfortable observing from a distance.
So why do I feel like this? My eyes slide to Grady, where he’s deep in conversation with Hoax. They’re absorbed in one another, but even as I watch, Hoax reaches to the side, searching for Scott, who immediately laces their fingers together.
Longing blooms in my chest as I move into the kitchen. It sits with me while I put away leftovers and rinse plates and forks before loading them into the dishwasher. It settles when everyone moves to the living room, couples cuddling together on the couch and leaving me a spot between Grady and Steal.
I don’t want to sit there. I don’t want to smash myself to Grady’s side for an entire movie while pretending my heart isn’t forgetting how to beat because he isn’t looking at me.
Steal is sitting at the end, and I nudge his thigh, silently requesting him to move over. He gives me a strange look, his eyes darting between Grady and me before he eventually moves to sit at Grady’s side. I don’t look at the other man, mumbling my thanks to Steal as the movie starts.
The plot is completely lost on me, my mind too full of self-pity to pay any attention to the characters on the screen. Halfway through the movie, Grady gets up to go to the bathroom, and I make my escape. I quickly whisper to Steal that I’m going home. He immediately starts to argue, but I shut down his worries. “I’m fine, just tired. I’ll see you at the game tomorrow.”
The elevator doesn’t come as quickly as I want, but Grady is still in the bathroom when the doors shut behind me. I breathe a sigh of relief that nearly becomes a sob, but I force it back in. I will not cry about this. I knew this was the only outcome, the only way it could end. I deluded myself into thinking Grady could want more with me. I’m not the person someone wants more with, especially not someone like him.
I call a greeting to Ralph when I reach the lobby, but even he only gives me a half-hearted wave in return. His eyes are locked on the computer monitor, eyebrows pinched together, and a confused smile on his face. I’m in the garage by the time I hear him say something, but I’m too far to make out what it is.
Foolishly, I parked on the top floor because that’s where Grady always parks, and I wanted to walk to our cars together at the end of the night. The romance novels are getting to my head, convincing me that life is filled with happily-ever-after’s and forever love. The reality is trudging alone up three stories in a dingy garage that looks like it’s seen a murder or two.
“Elliot!”
I slow to a stop between the second and third levels, turning to look down the ramp where a massive man is lumbering after me. “Grady?”
“Jesus Christ, you have to slow down.”
“What the Hell? Are you hurt?”
“I mean,” he groans, stopping to lean against the garage wall. His face is covered in a deep blush, and I can see the sweat beading beneath his shirt. “A little, yeah.”
“Shit,” I race back toward him, my hands out as if I could catch him before he passes out. “What did you do?”
“I took the stairs.”
“What?”
“The elevator wouldn’t come back up fast enough, so I took the fucking stairs,” he groans, doubling over so fast I think he’s about to puke.
“Grady, if the stairs hurt your shoulder that bad, you cannot play tomorrow.”
“What?” He looks up at me, his pupils blown wide in the stark fluorescent lighting of the garage. “My shoulder is fine.”
I look him over, suddenly realizing he didn’t actually say what hurt. “Is it your appendix?”
“No,” he snorts, reaching out to grab my arm as he tries to stand up straight again.
“Your head? Do you have a concussion? Are you bleeding anywhere?”
“No, Elliot,” he chuckles, dragging me toward him with the hand still wrapped firmly around my forearm. “I’m not injured. I didn’t mean it like that.”
I take a deep breath, my panic bleeding away and leaving only annoyance in its wake. “Then what the fuck is wrong with you?”
Grady’s eyes widen in shock at my tone. “Uh, what?”
“You’ve been acting weird all night. You won’t look at me, you won’t talk to me, you barely even spoke to the people sitting around me. I know that you have feelings for someone else and this has to end, but I didn’t think you’d be a dick about it.”
“What? Elliot, no. That’s not?—”
“Don’t fucking tell me that’s not what’s happening, Grady.” I snap, dragging my arm out of his grip. “I sat through that fucking meal, not that you noticed. Why wouldn’t you just talk to me? And, okay, I understand that’s pretty fucking hypocritical coming from me after everything, but dammit! You’re supposed to be better than me at this shit.”
“At what shit?” He’s breathless again, leaning toward me with a dark flush spreading up his cheeks. “What are you saying, Elliot?”
“Are you dying? I can’t yell at you if you’re dying,” I snap, reaching for him when it looks like he’s going to topple over.
The moment my hands land on his chest Grady groans, and I step back in alarm. “What? What happened?”
“Maybe don’t touch me for a second,” he suggests, taking a deep breath through his nose.
“Grady, tell me what the fuck is wrong right now, or I’m calling an ambulance.”
“Please, don’t do that,” his thready laugh is lost to the concrete surrounding us, and I’m filled with more confusion than ever. “I’m…okay…one thing at a time. Elliot, I love you.”
My head snaps back like he’s slapped me. That’s what it feels like, anyway. I stare at him, my mouth open but no words coming out.
“I know I’m going about this all wrong, and I definitely didn’t mean to have this conversation in a fucking parking garage, but I can’t stand the way you’re looking at me, so there it is. I love you. I think I’ve been falling in love with you for years, I just didn’t realize what was happening until we started hanging out. I didn’t know how to tell you that I wanted it to be real after the whole experimenting thing. I wasn’t looking at you tonight because I thought you’d see it. I thought you’d take one look at me and know that I wanted more, and I didn’t want you panicking over it before I could explain.”
His explanation isn’t making things any clearer. He loves me? Grady loves me? Me ? “What?”
“Okay,” he huffs, a sweet smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I know that’s your processing question, so I’m gonna keep going to point two. Let me know if I need to return to point number one, which is that I love you. In case you forgot,” he teases, and I would laugh if my body was cooperating right now.
“So, I’m not injured. I, uh, this is embarrassing to say when you’re looking at me like that. I imagined you having a lot more heat in your eyes when I said this. It was gonna be sexy, you know?”
I don’t tell him that I do not know, but he seems to get it.
“Right, why would you know. Okay, I’m wearing a plug? That’s not a question—I am wearing a butt plug. I had a plan, okay? I was going to have you come over when we left here, and we were going to sit in the living room, and I would tell you…everything. Then we would kiss,” he steps closer to me, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively. “I thought about that while I was putting the plug in. I love the way you kiss, Elliot. It’s like you’re committing me to memory, and I never want it to stop.”
He’s so close now, the heat radiating off his body sending shivers across my skin. “I planned to tell you that I had this ridiculous plug in my ass, then ask you to fuck me.”
“ HolyfuckingJesusshitChrist. ”
“I didn’t catch all that, but it sounded blasphemous enough for me to assume you like that idea.”
“Yes,” I breathe, digging my fingers into his shirt. “But, uh, point one?”
“Oh,” Grady nods, shifting to put some space between us again. I don’t let him get far, my hand tightening around the fabric balled in my fist. “Yes. Point one is that I love you.”
Every time he says it, my brain does a little record scratch like it’s physically unable to accept that information. “Me?”
“Yep.”
“Why?”
“You want the list or…?”
“Yes,” I admit, pulling him toward me until he’s all I can see. “Not now, but someday.”
“Okay,” he smirks, bending to run his nose along mine. “I’ll tell you whenever you’re ready.”
“Grady?”
“Elliot?”
I lean forward, brushing our lips together. “I love you, too.”
I can feel his smile against my mouth, his joy pressing into my skin before he seals our lips together. Grady kisses like he needs me more than oxygen, one hand digging into my hair as the other drops to my ass. He pulls my hips against his, and I moan at the feeling of his cock pressed against me. Then, inexplicably, I begin to laugh.
“This is not a laughing moment, Elliot,” Grady sighs, dropping his forehead against mine as I dissolve into a fit of giggles. “I’m doing my best work here, and the garage is already putting a major kink in the plan.”
“I’m sorry,” I can barely get the words out, but I force a few deep breaths into my lungs. “I just remembered you took the stairs.”
Grady groans, his head dropping back. “Every fucking stair.”
“It’s three stories,” I cackle, the sound bouncing back at us from every corner of the garage.
“I had to stop on the second landing, so I didn’t come in my fucking pants.”
“I think Ralph saw you.”
Grady sucks in a breath before letting out the most pathetic groan that sets off my laughter again. “I don’t think this could get more embarrassing for me.”
“I’m so sorry.”
My giggles undermine the sympathy in the words, but Grady doesn’t take it to heart. “You should be. I was only on those stairs because you ran from me again. Something you promised never to do, if I remember correctly.”
That finally curbs my amusement, and I swallow the last of my laughter. “I’m sorry, sir.”
“Fuck,” he moans, fingers pressing into my ass hard enough that I know I’ll have bruises there tomorrow. “Don’t say that when I’m like this.”
“Say what?” I put on my most innocent voice, running my hands up his chest to rest on his shoulders. “I’m just trying to tell you that I’m so sorry I was bad, sir. I promise to be a good boy from now on.”
“To the fucking car,” he growls, releasing his grip on my ass to spin me away from him. Strong hands press against my back and shoulders as he directs me up the last part of the ramp. “You’re such a little shit. You’re lucky I already have a plan for tonight, or I’d put you on your fucking knees and tie your hands behind your back while I use that pretty little throat.”
The mental image that paints pushes the air from my lungs, and I nearly stumble to a stop halfway to the car. “That’s, uh, that goes on the list.”
Grady snorts, grabbing my neck to pull me against him again. “Noted, Princess.”
He bites the side of my throat, making me moan as he opens the passenger door to his Mercedes. “In.”
“But my car...”
I point to my shitty Honda two spots down from us, and Grady huffs. “We can come back to get that death trap tomorrow. I need you close to me.”
There’s something vulnerable in his voice that makes me climb into the car without further objection. He reaches for me the moment he’s in the driver’s seat, and I let him lace our fingers together. I manage to wait until we’re out of the garage before I take my seatbelt off.
“What are you doing?”
“Accepting my punishment, sir.” I shift until I’m leaning across the center console, my hands reaching for the button and zipper on his jeans.
“Elliot, you don’t—” I ignore him, dropping my lips to the head of his cock the moment I free it from his underwear. Grady hisses, pressing his hips toward my mouth. “Such a filthy little whore, sucking cock in the car. You couldn’t even wait to get home, could you?”
I moan my agreement around the head of his cock, making him curse again. “You’re too fucking good at this, Princess. You suck a lot of cock to get this good?”
Grady’s fingers run along my back, a soothing gesture that’s completely at odds with his words. He curses quietly, slowing the car to a stop. “Don’t sit up. Someone will see you down there and know you’ve been slobbering all over my dick like a filthy little slut.”
My cock throbs against my zipper, and I drop a hand back to relieve some of the pressure. “No,” Grady snaps, grabbing my arm before I can adjust myself. “Hands on me, Princess. This is a punishment, remember?”
I place my palms on this thigh, squeezing the muscle every time I want to reach back to touch myself. The movement of Grady’s hips becomes rougher, his fingers digging into my hair as he directs my head up and down his cock. I hum each time he presses against the back of my throat, making Grady groan out a series of curses.
“I’m gonna come, Princess,” he warns, pressing his hips up again. “Are you gonna take it all for me?”
My eyes roll back, a deep groan rumbling through my chest. Grady’s cum hits the back of my tongue and I swallow him down, narrowly avoiding choking when his hips unexpectedly press forward. “Shit, sorry,” he laughs, petting a hand along the back of my head. “I almost missed the driveway.”
That gets my attention, and I realize we’ve reached Grady’s house. He gives me a soft smile when our eyes meet, one finger gently brushing my bottom lip. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Elliot.”
His lips are on mine before I can respond, but I return the kiss with everything I have. When he finally pulls away, Grady nips at my bottom lip before fixing his pants and getting out of the car. I watch him go, my brain lagging until my door opens, and Grady looks at me with his lopsided grin.
“Come on, Princess. I need you to fuck me.”