✧･Chapter 32 I Love You #2
"You still hate messes. Like... not normal hate, but everything has a place, everything has to be right or it bothers you all day."
Her eyes flicker slightly at that.
"You still work yourself way too hard," I continue, softer now. "Not because you have to. Because it keeps your brain busy so you don't spiral."
That one lands deeper.
"You still won't eat cold sandwiches," I add, my nose scrunching slightly. "Because cold meat 'feels wrong,' which is insane, by the way."
She huffs out a quiet breath, somewhere between a laugh and disbelief.
"And you still..." I pause for a second, my voice softening, "you still get scared when things start to matter too much. You pull back before something can prove you right about yourself."
Her expression shifts again with something more vulnerable.
"And yeah," I add gently, "after meeting your mom? I get why."
She doesn't say anything, she just looks at me. Like I just said something I wasn't supposed to know.
But I don't stop. "None of that makes you different," I say. "It just makes you... you."
My thumbs brush lightly against her sides. "Anyone would be the luckiest person in the world to get to be yours," I whisper. "Even if it was just for a night."
Her breath catches, just slightly. "But I don't want just a night," I add, my voice quieter now, steadier. "I never did."
There's a pause, the kind that feels like it stretches.
"You're," I hesitate, just for a second, then push through it. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met. Not just-" I shake my head slightly, searching for the words. "Not just how you look. It's everything. The way you think, the way you care, the way you pretend you don't care."
That gets the faintest, almost broken smile out of her.
"I look for you everywhere," I admit softly. "In people, in places, in stupid little things that don't even make sense."
My voice drops even quieter. "And I still listen for your laugh," I say. "Everywhere I go."
That one breaks something open in her expression.
"And it's never there," I add, almost a whisper. "Not like yours."
She just looks at me, like she's trying to understand how I could possibly mean something so simple and somehow make it feel like the biggest thing in the world.
Her eyes soften, but there's something else there too. Something almost scared. Like she's standing in front of a door she's spent years telling herself she would never open again.
"So you," she starts, but her voice catches. She looks away for half a second, gathering herself before trying again. "So what are you saying?"
I stay quiet, letting her find the words.
"You want to be together?" she asks, almost like she's afraid of the answer. "Like... together together?"
A small smile pulls at my lips. Because even now, even after everything, Claire still looks at love like it's something she has to be careful with.
Like she's waiting for someone to take it away. "Does that scare you?" I ask softly.
Her eyes immediately find mine again, and she doesn't answer. Not because she doesn't have one, but because I think she has too many.
I can see every emotion moving across her face - the fear, the disbelief, the hope she's trying so hard not to let herself feel.
Then she leans down and kisses me, and it isn't hesitant. It isn't the kind of kiss you give when you're still unsure.
It feels like everything she hasn't been able to say out loud is there instead.
All the years of missing me. All the hurt. All the times she convinced herself she was alone in this. All the feelings she thought she would have to carry by herself.
I feel it all, and I hold onto her like I'm finally getting the chance to prove that I'm not leaving.
When we pull apart, even for a second, her forehead rests against mine. Her breathing is uneven, but her eyes never leave mine.
"Mae," she whispers.
The way she says my name makes my chest ache.
Because it doesn't sound like a question, it sounds like she's trying to believe this is real.
"I'm here," I whisper back.
And then, slowly, she shifts. Her hands slide down until she's holding mine, and she gently pulls me with her as she moves backward.
I follow without hesitation, letting her guide me until we're both lying down.
For a moment, we just stare at each other with Claire below me. Her hair falling around her face, that familiar look in her eyes that I spent years wondering if I'd ever see again.
Then she shifts her weight carefully and rolls us over and a quiet laugh escapes me as suddenly I'm the one beneath her.
"Claire," I say, surprised.
"What?" she asks, looking far too pleased with herself.
"You just flipped us over."
She shrugs innocently. "I wanted to."
I can't help but smile, because that's such a Claire answer.
No explanation, no hesitation. Just a decision and the confidence to follow through with it.
I stare up at her for a moment, taking her in. The way her hair falls around her face, the way her eyes soften when she looks at me.
The way, somehow, after everything, she's still here.
After all the years I spent running from this, after all the times I convinced myself that wanting her was something I had to bury, she's right here. And she's looking at me like I'm the person she's been waiting for.
My chest feels so full it almost hurts. "I love you," I whisper.
The words come out softer than I expect, but they're not uncertain. They're not scary anymore.
They're just true.
Claire's expression changes instantly, not with surprise or disbelief, but with something warmer. With something that tells me she's still learning how to accept those words, but she's trying.
Her fingers tighten gently around mine.
"I love you," she whispers back.
And somehow, hearing her say it feels different than anything before.