✧･Chapter 36 With You
"Come on," I usher Claire, grappling her by her hand as I start to lead us back to the tables.
"I can not believe you did that. I don't think I've ever had anyone smash cake in my face." She mutters, a soft laugh leaving her as we walk side by side.
I bump my hip into hers, shrugging my shoulders. "You were asking for it, really."
She scoffs. "What? How in the world did I ask for that?"
I roll my eyes. "You know how, using that damn tone with me in front of a bunch of children."
She laughs, loudly, which causes me to look over at her and smile, shaking my head as we finally reach the table again. I grab a towel, turning to face her.
"Stand still." I say, lifting the towel to her face and she grins, tilting her head a bit.
"Yes ma'am." She mutters softly and I roll my eyes, slowly starting to wipe off the cake on her face.
"Wow, oh my God!" I hear, turning my head slightly to see Helena with Faye in her arms and June standing next to her, laughing at Claire.
Claire groans as Helena sets down Faye, then walking over to Claire to get a closer look.
"You know, you actually don't look half bad."
"Shut up, Helena." Claire says.
"Stop moving, I'm trying to clean your mess up." I order with a snort.
"My mess? You're the one who decided to slap cake in my face!"
I laugh, reaching up and gently grabbing Claire by the jaw before she can turn away from me, holding her still so I can get a better angle at the frosting smeared across her cheek. She immediately tries to pull away, but I tighten my fingers just enough to keep her in place.
"Stop moving."
"I'm not moving."
"Yes you are."
"I'm trying to avoid having you rub a wet towel into my eye."
"Then stop moving."
Claire gives me an exaggerated sigh, but there's a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "You know what? I'll just get you back for this next week."
My hand pauses against her jaw and I slowly raise an eyebrow. "You wouldn't dare."
Her smile grows. "Oh, I would."
"Claire."
"Especially for the upcoming birthday girl."
Something warm settles in my chest at the reminder, and I glance at her for a second longer than I mean to.
I honestly hadn't even realized my birthday was next week until she said it.
With everything that had been happening lately - with Claire, the gallery, my work, family - I'd completely lost track of it.
And somehow, the fact that she remembered made my heart squeeze.
Helena chuckles beside us as she reaches over to grab a fresh rag from the nearby table. "I don't think you'd be able to pull it off."
Claire looks toward her. "Excuse me?"
"I said I don't think you'd be able to get her back."
"Why?"
"Because Mae is faster than you."
I snort. "She's right."
Claire gives me a look. "You ran away like a criminal."
"Because you were chasing me!"
"You deserved to be chased."
"You deserved the cake."
"I did not."
"You absolutely did."
Helena shakes her head, laughing quietly as she steps closer and takes over cleaning the remaining frosting from Claire's cheek. Claire reluctantly lets her, though she keeps her eyes on me the entire time.
I stand there watching them, and I can't stop the smile that settles onto my face.
My birthday.
Claire remembered my birthday.
It shouldn't feel like such a big thing. People remember birthdays all the time. But with Claire, every little thing seems to carry more weight than it should. She remembers how I take my coffee. She remembers what songs I like. She remembers tiny stories I've told her once and forgotten myself.
"What do you have planned?" I ask, unable to hide the curiosity in my voice.
Claire glances at me, then at Helena, before looking back at me with a suspiciously innocent expression. "You'll find out."
I groan. "I hate surprises."
"I know."
"Then why would you do this to me?"
Her smile turns softer. "Because that's exactly why I want to."
I narrow my eyes at her. "That sounds mildly threatening."
Helena laughs under her breath as she finishes wiping the last bit of frosting away and steps back to inspect Claire. "All right, you're finally cake-free."
Claire runs a hand over her face, checking for herself. "Thank God."
"I would suggest not teasing Mae with cake in between now and next week," Helena adds, setting the rag back down on the table. "You two are going to end up starting another war."
"I was not teasing her," Claire immediately defends.
Helena gives her a look. "You were. I could see it from across the field, everyone could. You're not exactly discreet about it."
My face heats immediately, and I look away, pretending to suddenly become very interested in the cakes on the table.
Claire, however, doesn't even bother pretending and she narrows her eyes at Helena. "Like you're discreet with June?"
Helena shrugs, completely unapologetic. "I'm very discreet."
Claire shakes her head, muttering something under her breath, and I laugh quietly.
For a moment, I just stand there and take it all in. The kids running around the field. Helena arguing with Claire. June laughing at the kids. August somewhere nearby probably getting into trouble, and Claire.
Still standing right in front of me with a tiny streak of frosting tucked near her hairline that Helena somehow missed.
I reach up without thinking and swipe it away with my thumb and Claire's eyes immediately meet mine.
"There," I murmur. "Now you're actually cake-free."
She looks at me for a second, and that familiar softness settles into her expression.
"Thank you."
I smile, and then she leans closer, lowering her voice so only I can hear.
"Don't think this gets you out of your birthday surprise."
I groan. "Claire."
She laughs, stepping away from me before I can complain again.
The rest of the afternoon seems to blur together after that.
The kids go back to running around the field, Helena gets dragged into whatever game Lucia has decided everyone needs to play, and August somehow ends up with frosting on his shirt despite being nowhere near the cake table when the war started.
I stay close to everyone for a while, laughing whenever someone brings up the cake incident, but eventually I realize Claire isn't standing with us anymore.
I find her a few minutes later sitting near the far end of the bleachers by herself, one arm resting along the back as she watches the kids run around. Her sunglasses are pushed up onto the top of her head now, and there's still the faintest pink mark on her cheek from the sun.
I walk over and sit beside her.
"You hiding from everyone?" I ask.
She glances at me with a small smile. "I was hiding from you."
"That's rude."
"You attacked me."
"With cake."
"Exactly."
I laugh, bumping my shoulder against hers. "You survived."
"Barely."
She says it so dramatically that I can't help laughing again, and she looks at me with that quiet smile I've started to love seeing on her face.
For a few seconds, neither of us says anything.
We just sit there, listening to the distant sounds of the kids and the occasional burst of laughter from the others.
It's strange how quickly I've gotten used to this - being beside her, being able to sit in comfortable silence without feeling like I have to fill every second with words.
Claire looks toward me, her hand reaching for mine as she grabs a hold of it, then looking back out to the field.
For a while, neither of us says anything.
The noise from the field continues around us, the kids shouting and laughing as they run from one end to the other, but sitting here beside Claire feels strangely quiet. Her hand is still resting in mine, her thumb occasionally brushing over my knuckles without either of us really thinking about it.
I look out at everyone for a moment before glancing back at her. "I'm glad you decided to move back," I say quietly.
Claire turns her head toward me, a small smile pulling at her lips. "Me too."
Something about those two words makes my chest ache. I look down at our hands, tracing my thumb over the side of hers. There are so many things I could say, so many things I've wanted to say for years, but I don't know where to start.
Eventually, one thought slips out.
"I never meant to hurt you that badly."
Claire's smile fades slightly.
I swallow, keeping my eyes on our hands because looking at her suddenly feels too difficult. "I know I hurt you. I know I ran, and I know I made you feel like what happened between us meant nothing. But I never wanted you to hurt so badly that you felt like you had to move across the country."
Claire doesn't answer right away. When I finally look at her, she's already watching me.
There's no anger in her expression, and that almost makes it worse. She gives me a small, sad smile and looks back toward the field.
"That was a tiny part of why I left."
My eyebrows pull together. "Then why did you leave?"
She takes a slow breath, her gaze following the kids as they run around. "Yes, I was hurt. But I left because of you."
My heart sinks. "What?"
"I left because of you, Mae."
She says it gently, but I can hear the weight behind it.
"I don't understand."
"I know."
Claire turns toward me fully now, her knee brushing mine."After everything happened between us, I watched you fall apart."
I stare at her.
"You probably didn't realize it. You were too busy trying to convince yourself you were fine, but you weren't. You looked like you were suffocating every time we were in the same room. You couldn't look at me without looking terrified, and I didn't know what to do with that."
Her voice gets quieter. "I loved you so much, and I didn't know how to make you stop hurting."
My throat tightens.
"I thought if I stayed, I'd keep making it worse."
"Claire..."
"So I left."
She shrugs slightly, but there's nothing casual about the movement. "I told myself that was the kind thing to do."
I stare at her, trying to understand how she could have carried that all these years.
"You left for me?"