Chapter 12
Pulling myself away from his memories and the flood of emotions, his hands gently cup my face as I firmly grip the realm I’m in. Elderheim.
“Isa,” Rydian says softly, though my eyes remain closed as quick breaths fill the space between us. “Isa, come back to me.”
“Rydian.” My wide eyes finally open, fixed on him.
He exhales, relief evident as his thumbs swipe across my face. He was never Alec but always the king of Aurelia. Oh gods.
“That—that was me? How…?” My head shakes, words tumbling out in a mess.
Even though I saw his memories, I don’t remember anything. The young girl certainly looked like me with black hair and golden-amber eyes. And the resemblance between myself and Elynor was too similar to ignore. Yet… my doubt creeps in.
“King Elion captured you and your mother, Elynor, a few years after the War of the Veilstone. We were supposed to have a treaty, which was why we weren’t expecting the attack. It didn’t make sense. Then they killed your father, King Andre, with the Veilblade during that battle.”
My chest heaves as I’m taking in the information, but he firmly grips my shoulders, peering down at me.
His eyes soften. “I searched for you. I never gave up. I truly believed you still lived, regardless of not finding your mother. And I sent the best trackers through the border near Nymara, but King Elion kept you hidden. They somehow knew that I was sending people across the border. But once I saw you for myself, I knew then that they were siphoning your memories. I couldn’t even feel your essence, and if I didn’t find you and bring you back, you would be lost forever.
” He paces, his hand waving in explanation.
“Earlier this year, an informant told me that Elion had a secret brotherhood who were killing my men, and after a while, he, too, stopped sending letters. After the most recent informant sent word that he found you, I wanted to come to Elderheim myself to bring you home. I wanted to try again, despite the last unsuccessful mission when you were ten.” His brows pinch, and he drags a hand down his face.
“I didn’t know,” I whisper, but doubt settles itself at the back of my head because I don’t remember him at all. Is this another trick? Could he be manipulating his own memories in to convince me?
“It wasn’t your fault. I didn’t know they were taking your memories and should have tried harder. I only suspected it, but I should have tried harder. I never should have left you the first time,” he says.
The guilt lining his features is palpable as he paces, and quick breaths escape me as I realize that he is telling the truth. Oh gods, I find myself suddenly believing the words tumbling from him as he continues his explanation.
“We tracked you to Alvonia, and I stopped at the Silver Lily to plan the mission. Little did I know you would show up right to my door. Luckily for me, Helga didn’t know who I was, so your regular killing didn’t go as planned.
I was at the Silver Lily when you arrived with Ezra and Ren and knew it would be hard to get you alone after seeing you arrive, so I left you that note.
I only hoped you would check the table. It’s been a long twenty years, and so much has happened since they took you.
” He glances at me, hope sparking in his eyes.
“But I’m here now, and I want to take you home. Please come home with me.”
“I don’t remember you,” I get out, not quite ready to give up what I’ve called home for the past twenty years. Because that’s what it is, home, and I hate that I still feel this way. Why do I feel this way?
“I know, and I’m sorry I failed you. You and your mother,” he mutters. It’s clear that he’s tired of searching for me after so many years. Yet they were sending me to kill his men. I killed his men.
Our men, and… oh gods.
My stomach churns. I’m going to be sick.
I whirl around, bracing myself against the tree with my hand, and vomit, overwhelmed by the information and realization of what King Elion had me doing all these years. Using me to erase his past—my family—while mocking me.
This is the true punishment.
I’m bent over, wiping my face with the back of my hand. Rydian strides to me, attempting to rest his hand on my lower back, but I swat it away.
“Don’t touch me,” I croak, straightening to look at him just as my eyes flare.
I’m suddenly feeling nauseous again, the realization of being a princess of Aurelia sweeping in, stealing my breath. Dread seeps through, my stomach sinking and coating my entire body like ice in my veins. I can’t breathe. A princess of Aurelia?
And the king of Aurelia has been tracking me to take me home, to claim the realm as my own for the past twenty years. Oh gods, I’m definitely going to be sick again. The color drains from my face, my breaths quick as saliva coats my tongue.
“I’m—I’m a princess,” I get out.
His eyes widen as he realizes where my thoughts have gone. “Yes… you are, but nothing needs to happen yet. I’m only here to bring you back, that’s all.”
My hand settles on my stomach as I close my eyes, trying to force down the bile that’s rising again, and take a few deep breaths. The memories, the confusion—it’s too much. I’m unsure if that’s something I even want. I’m no princess, and I’m definitely not a queen.
Silence stretches as my thoughts continue to whirl. He’s here to bring me back to Aurelia, but what if I don’t want to go? Would he let me stay if I asked? But then again… do I want to stay in Elderheim?
It’s been my home here for the last twenty years, but I’ve always felt like there’s more to life than serving King Elion.
Yet my father is dead and my mother… well, she’s most likely dead too after what I saw in Rydian’s memories.
So what I have now is a duty to rule Aurelia?
It’s a responsibility I’m not sure I want.
“And what if… what if I don’t want it?” I mumble.
His jaw clenches slightly. “We can discuss it later—”
“Isa!” Our conversation is cut short by a guttural shout of my name. We exchange a glance, panic swiftly crossing our faces.
“Ren,” I whisper, realizing whose voice that is.
How is that possible? I slipped him the sleeping tonic in his drink earlier, but it’s only been a few hours. He should still be asleep. Glancing over my shoulder, I hear him coming up the road and my breathing picks up. Panic thrums in my veins.
After knowing the truth, I realize that Ren must have been a really good liar all these years if he possibly knows where I’m from, but there’s no sure way to know, and I don’t want to be near him right now.
“Isa.” Rydian’s voice is a quiet, urgent shout now, trying to snap me out of my thoughts.
I’m still glancing over my shoulder when he suddenly grabs my hand, pulling me deeper into the shadows of the trees.
“Look at me,” he whispers, gripping my face and forcing me to meet his gaze.
“You need to slow your breathing, do you understand?”
I nod, struggling to focus, but the fear of Ren arriving gnaws at me—he’s almost here. Rydian quickly puts his hand into my cloak and pulls out the sleeping draft, then tosses it further into the forest. He’s hiding the evidence. How did he know that was there?
Ren’s voice calls out in the distance. “Isa! I went searching for you at the Cauldron, but you weren’t there.” He’s closer now and tracking me somehow, and a sharp pain shoots up my wrist.
Rydian’s eyes shift behind me and then lock on to mine again.
“Listen to me, we can’t run right now. You need to finish your mission, and if he sees me in this form, he will know exactly who I am.
We don’t know who the Siphon is, but Ren saw me when you were ten.
He knows I’m here for you. This isn’t what I had planned, but this is what we’re going to do.
I’m going to shift into someone else and pretend to be Alec Thorne.
” He pauses briefly, his voice steady but firm.
“You’re going to kill me again. Do you understand? ”
“What—no!” My shock cuts through the air.
“You have to. You can’t kill me, remember?” He throws me a menacing grin, and I grit my teeth.
“It’s Ren. I’m sure he’ll sniff it out and find a way to make it happen. I know him. Don’t do this.”
“You will do it. And you will tell him that you need to bury me. Tell me you understand.” His tone is now serious, but he sees my doubt.
“I’ll be fine, I promise. I’m the king of Aurelia.
I can’t die by a simple blade, and I’m not alone.
I brought another with me and will not leave without you again.
I promise.” He glances behind me again, hearing Ren just around the corner.
“He’s almost here—put that mask back on,” he says, and I know exactly what he’s asking of me.
My mouth falls open, but before I can protest further, his form ripples, shifting into a completely different person—Alec Thorne. A much shorter male with shaggy auburn hair, features resembling someone a little older.
Then Ren’s behind me.
Quickly masking my panic, I adopt the facade of the lethal assassin and slowly turn in the direction of Ren with my daggers outstretched. A smug grin tugs at my lips.
“Look who I found, Ren. Looks like the note at the Silver Lily was right. Alec was here after all.” My gaze flicks up and down as a snarl escapes me. “Did you take a nap, brute? I needed help.”
He turns to me with a glare—a lethal calmness. If looks could kill, I would be dead right now. His eyes curiously dart between us as I hold my composure, using every ounce of confidence I have left so as to not make him any more suspicious than he probably already is.
“Please, I didn’t do anything,” Alec gets out.
Our attention shifts to Alec with his palms up, appearing confused as he backs up in surrender. Ren chuckles, a low, menacing sound, stalking to where Alec stands.
“Look what we have here.” Ren tilts his head, his black hair falling to the side. “The king will be pleased that we found our target, won’t he?”