Chapter 31
My eyes flutter open, only to find Rydian tangled around me with a leg pushed between my thighs, tucking me into his chest. I fit into him like a mold, as if I was perfectly crafted for him.
The warmth of his body forces me to snuggle deeper as he wraps around me like a quilt, too exhausted to put clothes on.
Last night was not what I expected, but perhaps it’s what I needed. I’ve spent years going to the Painted Bird to indulge and satisfy whatever wild urge I had, but it was never like this. Heat and desire. Like he wanted me, not like I was seeing someone to service me—like it was their job.
Thinking about last night has my stomach fluttering, sending desire straight through me—burning from the inside out. My face flushes at the utter filthiness, recalling every little detail. Lustful and needy.
Rydian stirs, as if he’s just waking.
Yet I have a feeling he was already awake given his fingers resting in my loose, unbound hair.
It doesn’t take long before the scent of his arousal floods my senses—sweet and earthy, followed by the hard length of him.
The scent of him floods me in a wave of pure heat, leaving me to suddenly aching all over again.
“You’re distracting,” Rydian mumbles.
“I haven’t even moved,” I exhale, and he tightens his arm around my waist.
“I can smell you, rich and sweet like a deadly black orchid. So yes, you’re utterly distracting. I wanted to sleep a while longer, but now… mm, now I want to…” He trails off just as his hand travels below my navel.
My breath catches in my throat, and I close my eyes, my legs instinctively falling open for him. His breath stalls when he kisses my neck, groaning into my skin.
“You’re already so wet for me,” he says, rubbing me in taunting strokes. He slowly pushes in two fingers, his thumb swirling against me, causing my back to arch and—
A faint knock at the door interrupts, forcing us both to freeze at the sound of it, and I almost groan—every fucking time.
I pivot into him with wide eyes, catching Rydian’s stare when he cautiously shakes his head.
“Don’t say a word. I’ll quietly get dressed and enter the Veil to stay here with you.” He pushes the thought out.
I’m suddenly hoping that whoever stands outside doesn’t scent Rydian on my sheets while he waits in the Veil. But I might kill them before they get the chance to.
“Isa! Open the door,” Ren calls out.
I groan—he ruins everything. For a moment, I entertain the idea of not opening it at all before my stomach sinks to the floor. Ren is now captain. I either have a mission or he’s turned me in.
Shit. I fly out of bed, searching for…. my night slip—ripped right down the middle from last night. Double shit. I lift it, shaking the tattered clothing in front of Rydian.
“You ripped my only night slip!” I say, but his laughter rumbles in my head just as he disappears into the Veil, dressed at record speed.
“I’ll get you a new one so I can rip that one too,” he says as Ren pounds on the door again.
“Hold on, you impatient brute!” I call out and rush to my wardrobe, quickly throwing on a tunic and pants.
With a heavy breath, I finally open the door only to find him dressed in black and armed to the teeth, every weapon of his in sight and missing his cloak. Is he not cold?
He looks terrifying as he towers over me, standing a few inches taller than Rydian. His black hair is raked back as he glowers at me with gray eyes, the color of stone.
“What took you so long?” he grumbles, pushing himself into my chamber. I try not to panic when I stumble, easily pushed to the side. He’s never been in my chamber before, and he just pushed open my door with ease, as if I were a mere insect and not a part of the brotherhood.
Rydian’s irritation flares across my mind, growling in my head at Ren’s forcefulness to push himself in without so much as a warning. But he should know better than anyone that Ren’s ruthless, especially after Sylvanor.
“If he touches you, I’ll kill him,” Rydian warns, sending a wave of burning heat through me.
“I hate you right now,” I reply, throwing Ren a tight smile at his back. “But I guess now would be a bad time to tell you he caught me searching for a tunnel?”
“What?” His growl echoes in my thoughts, and I wince, the sound reverberating across my mind.
Ren turns to me when I spot the king’s seal on a white envelope, but then he pauses with a subtle sniff to the air, and I catch the small scrunch of his nose.
“What?” I snap, knowing exactly what he’s smelling.
“Are you alone?” Ren knits his brows.
“Yes, I’m alone. What do you want?” My words are laced with pure annoyance, but his expression shifts into something between confusion and amusement.
“Are you sure? You don’t smell… alone.”
Heat flashes behind my eyes, my hand moving to rub the inside of my wrist where the ache pulses, but I catch myself, forcing my fingers to still. The small movement draws his attention anyway, his gaze flicking to my hands.
“Who I have in my room is none of your business, Captain,” I bite out, emphasizing his title with sarcasm. “I’m alone now. Can I help you?”
“Yes, actually. There’s a mission you need to attend with me. It’s in Nymara, and we leave in a few hours.”
“Nymara?” I repeat, my irritation flaring. “That’s a four-day trip.”
Meaning I would be gone for eight days, pushing us back from searching the tunnels and finding my mother. Time we can’t afford to lose. And I would be separated from Rydian. After last night, I’m not sure I want a mission. My fingers curl into fists, and I give him a tight smile.
“Which is why we’ll be leaving shortly.” Ren smirks, crossing his arms. “And here I thought you’d be happy about receiving a mission.”
I force myself to relax, even as I mentally groan because he’s right.
I should be happy for a mission, but I’m not.
All it does is stir up more questions. Who are we sent to kill, and why?
I’ve never dared to ask—fear of Theron’s wrath keeping me silent—but ever since I learned who I’ve been killing all those years, the questions only grow.
My eyes narrow. “I want a mission without you tagging along. Where’s Ezra? You seem to be giving him everything anyway. Let him go with me. I’m just shocked you’re giving me anything at all. Plus, I thought I was being punished. Can’t punish me if I’m not here.” I smirk.
He chuckles, looking off to the side when he spots my torn night slip.
His brows pinch as a question forms on his face, but he doesn’t ask.
“You weren’t my first choice, but Ezra is still gone on his mission.
He won’t be back for another few days. King Elion wants to use your excellent infiltration and disguise skills.
But you can count this trip as a part of your punishment.
What better way to train your stealth than to do it on a mission with me? ”
Gritting my teeth, I roll my eyes so hard I’m surprised they don’t fall out of my head. “Glad to know I’m such a valuable asset when no one else is available. I’ve had weeks of nothing. Training, sitting around, and twiddling my thumbs,” I say sarcastically.
“Don’t you think that’s why I’m here?” he snaps finally, tossing the envelope on my bed. “I’m giving you something, but you already know that it’s not up to me—Elion gives the final say.”
I clench my fists. “Gods, you frustrate me.”
“Good. I’d hate to be boring and easily forgotten,” he bites back. “Now get dressed. We leave in two hours.”
“Fine. I’ll meet you in the stables,” I mutter under my breath, turning away with a shake of my head.
Ren strides to the door, then stops, pivoting to me as he grabs the knob. “Oh, and Isa?”
“What?” I ask, not bothering to hide the frustration in my voice as I reach for a glass of water.
“Take a bath. You reek of sex.” He quietly chuckles just as I throw the glass at his face before he quickly slams the door, glass shattering against it.
“Ugh!” I scream, hands clenching. He’s infuriating.
Suddenly, I’m not so sure he’ll make it back from our trip in one piece. I might leave him out there and return alone. Then I remember—the ground is frozen. Burying him would be too much of a hassle. Perhaps I’ll just leave him out in the snow.
Rydian steps out of the Veil, dragging me from my dark thoughts.
He’s fully dressed, and I suddenly realize that I prefer him without clothes.
There’s nothing to see now, no glimpse of the body I had my legs wrapped around just last night.
Still, I stare, hoping that his clothes will just…
vanish. My eyes drag over him in silence.
“Stop looking at me like that, little fawn, or we’ll be doing something other than get ready for this journey,” he says.
I blink, registering his words. “No, not we. You’re not going.”
“I’m going. And I won’t be waiting around while Ivy and Orin are in Aurelia.”
“Then meet with them in Aurelia if you need to. Study the map while I’m gone.
You can’t stay in the Veil for eight days, remember?
I’ll go with Ren to finish this mission and meet you at the loft after.
This will give you enough time to plan with Orin and check in with Ivy.
I’ll be here when you get back. I promise. ”
Yet as I say those words, my chest tightens. I don’t want to go on a mission, and I definitely don’t want to be without Rydian for so long. I sigh, knowing that this is our best option even if I don’t want it.
He strides to me, cradling the back of my neck. “I don’t want to leave you alone with him. I can’t tell if he’s in love with you or if he wants to kill you. Regardless, I don’t trust him.” He sears me with his intense, possessive stare.
I’ve been a trained weapon my whole life—sharp and efficient. Yet for some reason, the way he approaches this feels different. Like something in him shifted between last night and this morning. Softer. Warmer. And I can’t quite put my finger on why.
“You think everyone is in love with me,” I scoff, thinking of what he said about Silas, leaving me to believe he’s jealous and doesn’t want other males near me.
“That’s because they are. If they aren’t, they probably enjoy male company rather than that of females,” he mutters.
A sharp laugh of disbelief escapes me. “I’ll be fine. Ren may have trained me when I was younger, but I’m far more agile than he is. I can handle myself.” I step away because he’s distracting, and I need to bathe.
He rubs his hand over his jaw, lost in thought. Then he nods after a moment. “Fine. I would like to test the distance of the Veil now that you can travel.”
I halt mid-turn, slowly pivoting. “What did you say?”
“You can travel in the Veil. Last night when you were sleeping, you met me in the Veil at the castle in my chambers, don’t you remember? Why did you think I showed up when I did?” He furrows his brows, and then a sly grin slowly forms on his lips at the realization.
“That was real?” I ask in disbelief. Embarrassment coats my veins at having thought it was a dream. “How is that possible? I was asleep but ended up in the Veil with you? I thought we couldn’t travel from realm to realm unless we crossed the border.”
He smirks, crossing his arms, as he realizes I didn’t know I wasn’t dreaming. His cloak flares, revealing the dark tunic underneath, spread thin across his muscled chest.
“There are different ways to access the Veil. We can do it through communication like we do when we talk to each other. Then there’s the physical and not physical aspect of it—allowing us to access it in a dreamlike state.
Like last night, we can continue to stay in one location while we visit another in sleep.
It’s still very real, just not there physically.
Think of it as a state of in between. But this means that your power continues to grow, and I want to test it while you’re gone. ”
The dark castle must be where Rydian lives, near the ocean, and I was in his chambers, somehow traveling to Aurelia without knowing exactly where I was.
“It’s fine,” Rydian says, mouth tipping into a lopsided grin as words continue to fail me.
“I literally kissed you in the Veil,” I get out.
“Is that all you got from what I just said?” he asks, his scarred lip slightly rising, certainly amused at how flustered I am.
“That doesn’t explain how I ended up in the castle if I’ve never been there.” My brows lift.
“It does because technically you grew up there, which means you’ve already been in the realm. The chamber you ended up in used to be King Andre’s. Subconsciously, you could have just been pulled there out of habit without knowing where you were going.”
“Oh. I don’t… really know what to say to that,” I admit because for some reason, his words leave me speechless. My hand rests on my forehead as I rack through the information and let out a sigh. “I’m going to bathe. I’ll see you soon?”
His brows lower as a seriousness crosses his face, all prior humor dissipating when his gaze locks on to mine, intense and unwavering. He strides forward and without a word, he cups my face, pressing a searing kiss to my lips. Oh, fuck yes.
“I’ll see you in eight days.” He pulls back, my eyes dazed as his gaze locks with mine. He steps into the Veil a moment later.
It suddenly feels way too cold in the chamber without him, though a fire roars from across the room. A large plate of food waits for me by the door. I notice that he lit a fire and brought me something to eat.
Dread settles in my stomach, hands curling into fists at the realization that I’m going to miss him—more than I care to admit—and it’s going to be a long eight days without him.