Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
RAGNAKOR
Isuppose it was inevitable that the queen would find out. Though Vizarios has played his cards close to his chest until now, Nissia broke through his wall on the dais. When he released his scent all over her, it was bound to happen that she would learn the truth.
For many years, I thought it would pass, this relationship between us. I was working under Quillion when he assigned me to be the prince’s personal guard.
Though I knew of him, I did not know him. But soon Prince Vizarios grew used to me, and then brought me in closer, letting me learn and understand even more of himself.
And that was the dragon who made me ache.
That was the dragon who turned me to my hand at night as I watched every sweep of his long tunic on the floor, every flick of his tail, every time he flared his nostrils in frustration at work.
He and his mother tested each other, but also, somehow, worked in harmony, and it was a joy to watch him discuss the problems of the kingdom with her, debating how best to approach them.
It was obvious how much pain he was in when she died. And I was the one who was there for him.
I knew we shouldn’t, even as we were doing it. I knew that Vizarios was grieving, and yet I wanted to be a vessel for him to wring out his pain. I knew that he would be marrying soon and that he should feel no string tied to me when that time came.
And yet I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stay away from him, just as he couldn’t stay away from me.
We only did the act twice. The first time was a mistake. The second time... I wanted more. Even as I wanted it, I knew what I was doing to the future queen. I knew I would be poisoning the well against her, and yet I did it anyway.
Now I’m here, facing the consequences.
I want to fall to my knees and beg Nissia to forgive me, but I’m not sure how to interpret the look on her face. Clear, bright understanding. Some hurt, I think, that we never disclosed this to her—but there’s also relief.
“Finally,” she says with a bone-deep sigh. “At least somebody told me so I’m not here wondering what I did wrong.”
Vizarios furrows his brow. “Are you not... angry?”
“I am.” She levels her gaze on both of us. “Quite angry that I wasn’t told what I was walking into. It’s hard to hear that your husband”—she enunciates the word—“has another lover.”
I cringe. That isn’t what we are. It was two lapses in judgment. How I feel about King Vizarios is... significant to me, of course, but it is a drop in the bucket in comparison to the stability of the kingdom and the importance of this marriage.
Though I know how my king feels about me, and that is enough to ruin this budding relationship. He said it himself: he could consider loving her if it weren’t for me.
“I’m sorry.” I turn fully to face Queen Nissia, bowing my head low. I’ve done her a great disservice, and I can hide it no longer. “I never intended to spoil what could be. I never meant to harm you, but I realize I have anyway.”
Vizarios is glaring daggers at me. “You’re making it about her? What about us?”
“It’s in the past,” I say, more firmly. “The queen is your future, Your Majesty.”
His eyes are like sharp steel blades.
“How could you say that?” Vizarios snarls. “Does it mean so little to you?”
I try to keep my own emotions cool, but I hate seeing Vizarios in pain—particularly when I’m the one who inflicted it. I’m about to rebut him, to try to explain myself again, when Queen Nissia boldly steps between us and holds up her hands.
“All right, all right. Halt the lover’s quarrel.”
I gape at her, and so does the king.
“I won’t say that I’d never have married you if I knew,” she begins, speaking to Vizarios. “I didn’t have a choice in the matter, and neither did you. But what I will say is I would have gone about this much differently.”
“There is nothing you need to do differently,” I tell her. “You are queen, and—”
Nissia covers my mouth with her hand, and I fall silent. This sudden close contact feels like lightning on my skin. I almost want to reach out my tongue and lick her palm, just to taste her.
“And you,” she says, narrowing her eyes at me as she withdraws her hand. “You were the one who should have said something to me, Captain. Him, I can see. But you?” She shakes her head, and her disappointment in me is crushing. “It explains so much, though.”
Vizarios has been still this whole time, watching us as if in a daze.
“But now that I understand, it’s time to move forward,” Nissia says. She steps away from us both, and her lips curl down. “I don’t need my husband to love me to do my job. So I’m not going to get in the way.”
I’m not sure I’ve heard her right. “There is nothing to be in the way of,” I say.
Vizarios glares at me. “You’re such a liar.”
“I have never lied to you, Your Majesty—”
“Stop!” Nissia shoves her finger into my face. “Get off your high horse, Captain. You’re certainly not doing me any favors by behaving this way.”
I close my mouth, properly chastised.
“It’s fine,” she says at last, her harsh demeanor falling. “It’s not uncommon for royalty. I’m sure my dad has had many mistresses, even while my mother was still alive.” She laughs darkly.
But Vizarios does not appear relieved. “You’re going to just... accept this? You don’t mind that your new husband is involved with his own guard captain?”
“I do mind,” she says. “You know, I enjoyed the ceremony.”
His eyes widen, and for once, his mouth is unmoving.
“So I have one rule.” Nissia holds up her index finger. “You can do what you like. The two of you can have this relationship, if you truly want, as long as you keep it quiet. Maintain the image of unity in the eyes of the kingdom, right?”
Vizarios nods dumbly. My own heart is racing much too fast, though, anticipating what she might say next.
“I will not get in the way of you two pursuing as you choose. But my rule... is that you must let me watch.”
VIZARIOS
It hurt, I must admit, that my new queen was not jealous. It would be better for me if she weren’t, and yet the animal in me that marked her, claimed her, is furious that she would allow this.
She should want me for herself. She should desire me as I desire her. I want her to covet me, to want my cock inside her again.
But she’ll also let me have what I’ve always wanted most: my devoted captain. I struggle to believe it. I could embrace how Ragnakor stirs me, how my soul longs for his, without my new wife angry at me for it.
Ragnakor looks as if he’s been hit by a boulder.
“Your Majesty?” he asks, uncertain. “You would... allow us to have relations?”
“I can’t stop you from doing what you want.” Nissia sighs. “But if I had the choice, I would not want my husband doing it without me. Alone in my room, while you two get to be happy together for the rest of time?”
For the rest of time. She would allow me to truly be with him, without interfering, without telling everyone in court what a dishonest creature I am? As long as she gets to bear witness to it?
The itch in my groin grows stronger, and I can’t resist reaching down to scratch it. Both Ragnakor and Nissia’s eyes follow my movement, and Ragnakor grunts.
“Your glands have refilled?” he asks, giving me a knowing look.
The queen, puzzled, glances between us. “What does that mean?”
He’s hasty to explain. “It means that too much time has passed since the last time he marked you.” He shoots me a quick but meaningful look. “Now his body is primed and wants to reassert its claim.”
“I don’t need claim over her,” I spit. “It is nothing more than instinct.” Perhaps I don’t even need her to release my glands.
The queen retreats a step back, lowering her gaze. Perhaps she is telling the truth when she says she enjoyed the ceremony. Still, it is none of my concern. There is only one in this hallway I truly love.
“If you are present, we can do as we please?” I ask her. “Those are your stipulations?” I want to make sure that I’ve understood before my body combusts.
She blinks. “That is what I said.”
I grab her hand in mine and pull her down the hall. Ragnakor hastily follows us, his expression judgmental. He knows what I have planned.
“Vizarios,” he hisses, taking up step alongside me as I drag the queen toward my rooms. “This is inappropriate. Regardless of what the queen says—”
Nissia huffs. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here!”
He glances back at her apologetically. “It’s not right.”
She has understood my intentions at last and now hurries to keep up with me.
“Who cares what’s right or not?” she asks him, squeezing my hand in hers. I remember that I’ve been holding it, so I drop it as we continue. “As long as no one else can see, it doesn’t matter what others think.”
I must admit I like how her mind works.
Ragnakor falls quiet, but I can hear his thoughts. He is honorable, and it’s something I’ve always admired about him—though it’s often annoying. This goes against what he’s been taught his whole life. He can’t let himself have what he wants.
But I know how to break down his walls of propriety. I’ve done it before and I can do it again.
At last we reach my quarters, where I nearly rip the door off its hinges to pull it open. Nissia peeks inside as I stroll in, then comes along behind me, and Ragnakor brings up the rear. With all our guards shooed away, there’s no one to witness it when he closes the door behind him.
I don’t wait. The moment we’re hidden from prying eyes, I grab Ragnakor by the arm and yank him toward me. Even though I’m significantly smaller and less powerful, I surprise him enough that he stumbles forward until my nose is up against his throat.
I inhale the familiar, musky scent of him, stronger now since he was sweating in the training yard. I think again of him and Nissia, the raging possessiveness I felt, and let it unfurl through my body. Then I grab him around the neck, drag his head down to mine, and smash my lips to his.
At first, Ragnakor is stiff and hard under me. But when there comes no protestation from Queen Nissia, he relaxes by the smallest amount. His big hand creeps up my side all the way to my cheek, where he grips me hard and pulls me in tighter against him.
For all his protestations that this means nothing, I know it was a lie.