Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
RAGNAKOR
Something about seeing Nissia cradling her new puppy in a gentle embrace stirs me up.
She is... handsome, in a way no other human is.
Her mouth is so striking, her furry eyebrows expressive and sweet.
The maternal way in which she gazes down at her new friend warms my heart and makes me imagine her with offspring of her own.
There is simultaneously a childlike wonder about her, just as much as there is a mature level of control and self-reflection.
I admire her. It’s that simple. This woman was brought here to a strange land, leaving everything she knew behind, and despite how the king has treated her, still she manages to smile.
I think she will make a good queen.
It is unfortunate that this is the best I can do for her, getting her a dog. I can lend her very little of my time. But it’s late now, and my hours keeping watch are over for the night, so I can spend a little of it with Nissia so she doesn’t feel so alone.
“What if we get her settled?” I suggest while the queen holds her new puppy and strokes its head. It’s calmed down quite a bit already.
“Sure.” She has a wide smile on her face as we bid the stablehand goodbye and head back to the castle.
“The dog will need to evacuate its bowels often,” I explain as we walk. “There is a courtyard close to your rooms. Your handmaid will want to take her often.”
“I’ll take her,” Nissia says without hesitating. “Not like I have anything else to do.”
It brings me displeasure to hear this, and I set a goal to find ways she can enjoy and entertain herself. I should speak to Quillion about activities he might suggest.
Zephala is surprised when we return with the new dog, but she’s more than willing to go and procure a soft pillow and blanket for it to sleep on. She also returns with a bag of dried meat that she and Nissia can use to help train the dog on how to properly go to the bathroom outside.
Once they’re settled, I head to the door to let myself out.
“Captain?”
I pause and turn to find Nissia rising from her spot on the floor by her new charge. “Thank you. This was kind of you. I... always appreciate your company.” Her expression is shy.
“You are very welcome. It’s the least I can do for the queen of the realm. I know that Vizarios is not the easiest partner.” I shake my head and sigh, because there’s only so much I can say in front of Zephala. “But I hope I can make one thing better for you here.”
I marvel at how Nissia’s big eyes get even bigger, and then the most radiant, most decadent and generous smile splashes across her face.
“Thank you, Captain. You don’t know what that means to me.” She gets to her feet and places her tiny hand on my arm. “I appreciate your friendship more than I can say, and I hope it continues.”
My gut twists. I am sure that the king will not appreciate any such friendship. Though he may be my superior in all ways, I will not leave my queen on her own, either. Not when she clearly needs me.
NISSIA
It is kind of Ragnakor to make me feel more welcome, to do something so thoughtful as to give me a dog who can occupy my time.
I do know that’s what it is, at the end of the day: a way to keep me busy.
Maybe if I take up training my new dog and then use it to go on hunts, I won’t become a pathetic recluse who exists only to be a breeding mare.
A shiver travels up my spine at the thought Vizarios and I could already have made a child. Would he hate it? Would he be cruel to it, too?
Instead of dwelling on that, I lie in bed and try to think of a name for my new friend.
I put her pillow and blanket on the floor and try to convince her to sleep there, but she seems much more interested in being on the bed.
Zephala sets down another blanket on top in case she urinates, though I rather hope she doesn’t.
She did, of course.
But at least I know what to call her now: Daina. It’s easy to shout, only two syllables, and shouldn’t get confused for other words. It’s a good name for a hunting dog, I think.
I put her on a leash and collar that Zephala procured and lead her around the castle with me.
At breakfast, the cook is pleased to see that I’ve brought Daina along and happily brings out some meat offal for her.
She becomes a favorite among the servants within a few hours, as happy and soft and cute as she is, and we stop frequently while traversing the halls to meet new people.
Even Quillion is charmed by her, stopping to pick her up when she trips over her own feet and falls behind.
Still, I wish he and Ragnakor could trade places.
It would be nice to walk around the castle with the captain of the guard, I think, talking about how to train my new pet.
I enjoy his calming presence, his deep and booming voice.
I wish that he had been the king, rather than Vizarios. I could be married to someone like Ragnakor.
Obviously, I do not have that choice.
A few days later, though, I am surprised to have my morning meal interrupted by Syzari. She slides into an empty seat at the table with a flourish of her robes.
“Queen Nissia,” she says in a conspiratorial tone. “I have a proposal for you.” She cocks her head. “And questions, too, but they are of a more personal nature.”
So many requests at once.
“What questions?” Questions I can answer. I don’t know how I feel about proposals.
“Are you, um...” Syzari thumbs the collar of her clothing, then lowers her voice. “Are you pregnant?”
Oh. That’s all.
“It might be too early to tell.” I shrug. I still haven’t given much thought to it. Raising a baby of my own—a dragon baby of my own—in this lonely castle is a difficult thing to swallow, so it is easier to banish it from my thoughts.
“I see.” Syzari looks me over, her brows softening. “I am sorry that this is the Vizarios you met. I assume you haven’t had much contact with him lately.”
I nod. He told me in no uncertain terms where I stand with him, that he’ll do whatever he pleases regardless of me. It was worthless to try to find a middle ground.
Syzari sighs. “Vizarios has been... foul-tempered lately, and I think that is due in large part to the distance between you.”
As if that’s my choice.
“I highly doubt it,” I say, getting more ruffled than I expected. “It has nothing to do with me. None of it has anything to do with me.”
I am a side effect. An afterthought.
“That isn’t true at all,” Syzari says, her brow creased. “I think it has everything to do with you.”
“What do you expect me to do?” I ask. “Throw myself at someone who despises me?”
“He does not despise you.”
Syzari is high up on the food chain, and someone that Vizarios trusts, but this whole conversation has sparked the tinder of my bitterness.
“Yes, he does!” I get up out of my chair, startling Daina. She yips. “Maybe he did... whatever it was with his scent glands,” I say, letting my irritation coat the words, “but it wasn’t about me. He’ll never feel anything for me. I’m his broodmare, nothing else.”
It hurts as the words leave my mouth. So much, in fact, that tears bite at the corners of my eyes.
“You wanted something else,” I snap. “Some kind of proposal?”
Syzari sizes me up. “Maybe another time,” she says, clearly disturbed by my outburst. I must be behaving like a child. “I have ideas for how you could be helpful to the kingdom.”
“Wonderful,” I say flatly. “There is nothing I want more than to be helpful to the kingdom.”
I pick up Daina and leave the room without another word to the advisor.
VIZARIOS
I’m deep in reading a letter from Orgrin, the king of the ogre-people who live to the west. It’s hard to read his flowing script sometimes, but I persevere because he always has information for me.
We are building a road between my western province and his eastern one to make trade easier.
It will benefit both of us immensely, but there have been hiccups along the way.
It is yet another way to distract myself from the feverish itch in my groin, the instinct to fuck, the need to release my scent glands again, which has nearly become overwhelming.
“Your Majesty.”
I’m startled out of my focus by the sound of Syzari’s voice. She strides into the room, a very worried look on her face. Usually my advisor betrays little. She is professional in most regards.
“What is it?” I ask, concerned.
“I have just spoken to your wife.”
Oh, great. Wonderful. My groin aches at just the word, your wife. Nissia, with those bountiful breasts and—
“So what?”
“I had intended to ask her about my idea. Instead, I have learned that you are, once again, ignoring her.” She seats herself across from me, and I open my mouth to tell her off, that my business is none of hers, but she snaps her fingers to shut me up.
“Listen to me. You are destroying something, Your Majesty. Something that once killed... may never grow back.”
I tighten like a taut rope. What does she mean by that?
“There is nothing to destroy between us,” I growl. “And who says I care if it grows back?”
“Is that so? You would not be upset if she found a lover?”
Suddenly, I picture Nissia underneath some faceless dragon, some creature that is not me, and a visceral growl rises in my throat. She is mine.
I’m startled by the noise leaving my mouth. She never was mine, and she never will be. She’s not what I want.
Syzari arches a brow. “So you won’t take her as your own, but no one else can have her, either?”
I grind my teeth together. “Leave me be about it, Syzari. You know nothing of what you’re talking about.”
“I know that a human woman was sent to another land against her will, uprooted from everything she knows and plopped down in a new place with new rules. She has no friends, and her husband pretends she does not exist. What is there for a female like that?”
“It is not my concern!” I abruptly rise to my feet, irritated that my advisor is needling in my private business. “She is a princess. She always knew this was her fate.”
Syzari wears a pitying look I wish I could wipe off her face.
“And being the queen means she is not allowed to have wants?” she asks. “To have needs?”
“Then give her a friend,” I bark, heading to the door.
“Someone has already seen to that. She had a rather cute hound dog with her when I saw her last.”
“See?” I yank the door open and step out. “She doesn’t need me.”
I let it slam closed behind me.
“Were you the one who gave the queen a dog?” I ask Ragnakor that evening when I insist that he eat dinner with me in my rooms.
He nods, not offering even a single apology for going behind my back. “It was in my off time,” he says instead.
I bristle all over. He will not share any words with me, but he will give my wife a new pet? My life was so much simpler before she came here. Perhaps that is what I resent the most—that Ragnakor was mine and only mine, and now they have teamed up against me.
Fine. I push my chair back and slug some firewine. Ragnakor follows me with his eyes.
“I’m tired of this,” I say, slamming my mug down on the table. “I’m tired of that woman holding the strings.”
And I’m tired of my balls aching.
I turn to my captain of the guard and gesture for him to get up. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?” Ragnakor asks, uncertainly rising to his feet.
“To get the queen.”