Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
RAGNAKOR
It was tempting, so utterly tempting, to put my arms around Nissia. She clearly needs comfort, but there is only so much I can do while remaining loyal and honest to Vizarios.
But sparring with her tonight... I will hold that close. I admired the fire in her eyes as we fought, the deftness of her maneuvers, the way her quick mind works in tense situations to find the right solution.
The next day, the king is quiet all morning.
It’s one of the few days he takes mostly away from his work, usually to catch up on his own physical training, but this time he spends a good amount of it writing a letter.
There’s something contemplative about him as he seals it up and sends it off with a courier.
He doesn’t bark orders or make demands, like he is lost in his own thoughts.
It’s nice to see him settling down, but it makes me wonder what’s on his mind.
Around lunchtime, Vizarios abruptly asks me, “Where does the queen take her meals?”
I think it’s the most he’s spoken all day. I startle.
“In the kitchen, at the breakfast table,” I tell him.
He nods and rises. “Let’s go see if she’s there.”
“What is your plan, Your Majesty?” I keep pace with him as he turns and heads down a hall toward the kitchens.
“I don’t know. But it’s like you said—there’s only one way to solve this problem. If she will not be bound by honor, I must find some other way to convince her.”
My heart falls. He still thinks of her as only a tool, and is scheming how to get what he wants from her.
“I don’t think you can ‘convince’ her,” I say as we walk. “She will see through you after your unfortunate meeting yesterday.”
Vizarios watches me from the corner of his eye. “Then what do you suggest?”
“I suggest that you actually try. Honestly and truly. Get to know her. Learn what she likes—”
He waves a hand at me. “I just have to figure out what it is she wants and then give it to her. Dragons and humans alike are simple in that way.”
Sometimes he is infuriating.
“What she wants,” I manage to say in a calm voice, “is your company, Your Majesty. She is looking for a friend.”
“And you know this because of your training sessions?” His tone is dripping with disapproval.
“It is why I do them with her.”
“I don’t know why you care so much.” Vizarios sniffs. “She’s not your charge.”
“She is my queen. I was entrusted with her care the moment that became true.”
“Doesn’t it upset you?” Vizarios asks. “That I want to fuck her?”
We both stop in the middle of the hallway as a servant scurries past us. I can hear his voice still echoing around us.
I turn to him. “Why would it upset me?”
“Because... don’t you want me for yourself?” he asks, rather pitifully.
It’s such a vulnerable question that I have to breathe out slowly so I don’t say what I think first. It does the opposite of upset me, I want to say. I would love to stand there and watch as you do it. In fact, I get hard just thinking about it.
“I do want you,” I say in a low, quiet voice. “You know that. But I want what’s best for you, too. And being with the queen—that is what’s right for you. No matter what, you will always have me.”
Vizarios’s yellow eyes bore into me, searching me for what it is I’m not saying. “You would let me walk away?”
“That’s up to you. Perhaps you should discuss it with the queen herself.”
For once, it looks like I might have gotten through to him. We turn around and continue down the hall, and Vizarios is silent. He is still thinking, still puzzling, but not reacting with his gut. That is a good sign.
When we reach the kitchens, a bright yip echoes off the stone walls. We enter the dining area and find three of the cooks crouched down, playing with the queen’s puppy, who she told me she named Daina.
When we enter, the puppy rushes toward me, and I crouch down to catch her in my arms. She licks my face all over, and I hear Nissia’s accompanying laugh.
“She sure loves you, Captain,” the queen says, and I rise to see her smiling from her seat at the table. It’s radiant and aimed directly at me. It feels like the world turns upside-down when she looks at me that way.
Then her gaze travels to Vizarios, and the smile falls from her face.
“Oh,” she says, sitting back down. Her puppy runs to her side to finish eating. She doesn’t offer any more greeting than that, choosing instead to return to her meal.
Clearing his throat, Vizarios sits across from her. Once again, she looks up.
“How can I help you?” she asks warily.
“Well...” He picks up a fork. “I wanted to eat with you.”
The suspicion in her eyes is as plain as day. He will have to run a mile just to get to the starting line.
VIZARIOS
I feel like a cowed dog myself, coming to the dining table with my tail between my legs, begging for her approval.
I wish I understood what Ragnakor was trying to tell me. He truly doesn’t mind that I would have someone else? That feels like a stone in the pit of my stomach, that he would harbor no jealousy toward the queen.
And yet, it’s a relief, too. I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t get to have either of them until I please Nissia. How has one woman wrapped her hands so tightly around my life?
“You wanted to eat with... me?” The queen says it like she can’t believe her own ears. The frown on her face gets deeper.
“Yes,” I force out. “We haven’t had a meal together in a long time.”
“No kidding.” She sighs and leans back in her chair. “This is about last night, isn’t it?”
I grit my teeth. Is there no way to earn my way back into her good graces that isn’t so painfully obvious?
Get to know her. Learn what she likes. Honestly and truly.
I can’t possibly undo all the ill will that’s sprouted up between us like a thorny weed.
“It is about last night,” I say as a servant slides a plate of food in front of me. “I was crude at best. But I have never...” I clear my throat, because this part is painful to admit. “I have never tried to court a female. It’s not natural to me.”
Nissia’s expressive dark eyebrows rise high on her forehead. “Never?”
I shake my head. When I was still just a prince, I had all the males and females I could want waiting eagerly for a turn with me. Having to woo someone? It’s improbable.
“But... that’s what you want?” She stares at me with unabashed surprise. “To ‘court’ me?”
I almost swallow my own tongue along with my food. Is she going to make me say it twice?
“Well, you are my wife, are you not?” I say with annoyance.
She stiffens. “Yes, but—”
“Then it is my job, as your husband, to court you.”
Her eyes squint in confusion, and she casts a quick glance at Ragnakor as if he might help explain it to her. I thought she was smarter than this.
“All right, then,” she says, though her tone is more than hesitant. “How would you like to, um, do it?”
She wants to get to the point already? Oh, that would be marvelous.
“On my bed, if you would like,” I offer, and her eyes get huge.
“No, you dolt!” The queen covers her face in embarrassment. “Ugh, never mind. I knew you would be incapable of romance.”
“I am not.” It comes out harsher than intended. She gives me a look like I have proven her point.
“What if you took the queen on a horseback ride?”
We both turn to Ragnakor when he speaks up.
“You could show her the city, then perhaps take a walk through the woods. There is plenty of day left and you are free today, aren’t you, Your Majesty?”
Ragnakor gives me a significant look, and I know that I have no choice but to catch this fish he’s holding out to me.
“Yes, I am free.” With a deep breath, I hold my hand out across the table to Nissia. She stares at it blankly, then gives me the narrow-eyed expression again that tells me it will be some time before she trusts me.
Damn. It will be difficult to unwind this vine I’ve tied around myself.
Eventually, though, she gives in and places her hand on mine. I close my clawed fingers around her dainty brown ones.
“Go on a ride with me,” I say, “unless you have other plans.”
Wide-eyed, Nissia shakes her head. “I don’t.” Then she glances down at the meal in front of me. “You should finish that, first. Then we can go.”
I hold in my sigh of impatience and do as she asks.
Ragnakor will accompany us, of course, along with Queen Nissia’s own personal guard. They trail behind us on their horses as I lead the way beyond the castle grounds and into the city. If we take the high road, eventually we’ll reach the walls, and then our journey will continue into the forest.
The clap of our horses’ hooves on the cobblestone is nearly deafening, but I make a point of speaking to her over the noise.
“Have you seen much of the city yet?” I ask.
“No. I haven’t left the castle.”
Her mouth sets in a thin line, and I feel as if we are on dangerous ground already. It’s not as if I have been keeping her hostage there. She could have left at any time to explore.
“I see,” I say instead of all that. It certainly would not help. “Today is a good day for it. It’s Zendia, so most dragons don’t work, and sometimes there are festivals in the city.”
Nissia noticeably brightens. “Festivals?”
“Usually on full moons, but also on other holidays.”
“What sorts of holidays do you have here?”
I set off into a laundry list of the holidays we celebrate in Selvumrrest, and the queen pipes up when it’s a holiday we share with her kingdom.
Solstices and equinoxes are the same, but our winter holidays are different.
The humans have harvest festivals, while we celebrate when the weather changes.
“Dragon hatchlings are at their most vulnerable when it’s cold, so they are encouraged to stay inside in the winter,” I tell her. “Most of our games are indoor ones, with some hunting outdoors for the adults.”
Nissia perks up. “What do you hunt in the winter?”
I don’t know if I like how eager she just became for this information. “Elk and moose—it is the best time for prize antlers.”
Her smile grows wider as I speak.
“A moose,” she says in wonder. “Could I teach Daina to hunt moose?”
“Your dog would do well to stay away from one.” I don’t think I like the idea of her or her pet so close to a deadly beast. “You shoot it from a distance with a spear.”
“A spear! I could learn to throw a spear.” She turns in her seat to face Ragnakor. “Captain, would you teach me to throw a spear?”
I’m disappointed to have lost her attention.
“I could,” he hedges. “But I am not as good at it as Tralazar. Perhaps the arms master could teach both of you together?”
I do not love the idea of learning to hunt—it has never been my area of interest—but the queen’s reaction is pure radiance.
“Would you do that?” she asks me. “Learn to spear throw?”
“I will watch you do it.”
She searches my face, and after a moment, seems satisfied. “All right. Good enough for me. I don’t have much time to learn before it’s winter, so we’d better get started soon.” She reaches out and pats my leg, which sends a sizzle of fire up my scales. “And then you can decorate with the antlers.”
I think this is supposed to be a peace offering, so I accept. “I’ll put them above the mantelpiece,” I say, and she laughs.
It is the first time I have ever made her laugh, and it is a lovely sound.