Chapter Twenty-One
MERCS
After a great dinner and a quiet evening, I’m lying in bed with Effa curled into my side, staring at the ceiling, trying to silence the chaos in my head.
Every move I make to get ahead fails.
Every so-called opportunity to secure financial gain blows up in my face.
Trixabell. Fucking horse didn’t even finish the race, it collapsed in the final leg. Of course, I’d pick the ‘sure thing’ and still get burned.
It’s like I’m cursed.
And yeah, I was a goddamn idiot for thinking gambling was the answer. Desperate moves from a desperate man. That’s not who I want to be. That’s not who Effa thinks I am.
No matter what I do, I can’t get ahead. And now, money is tighter than ever. Kiera’s health is getting worse, and while my salary covers what Gran and Kiera need day-to-day, it’s nowhere near enough to pay for her treatment.
Plus the debt I owe Vex—I’m in deep.
Real fucking deep.
And I’m out of options.
I should talk to Effa. She always says honesty matters, that we need to be open.
But this shit? This is fucking humiliating.
I should have known better than to gamble on a long shot. And if I tell Effa, she’s going to offer to help, I know she will.
And that’s the last thing I want.
I don’t want to be that guy.
The one Jett already thinks I am.
The one who uses a woman for her money.
And especially not Effa.
She could be broke, and I’d still be here, holding her, wanting nothing more than this—her in my arms, sleeping peacefully, her heart beating against mine.
That’s what matters.
That’s what I care about.
Not her money.
Not her status.
Just... her.
I let out a long sigh, clenching my jaw as I turn my head and press a soft kiss to the top of her head. Her hair is warm and smells like mangos and something I can’t name but never want to forget.
She shifts, her voice barely above a whisper. “That was a heavy sigh. Are you lying awake thinking?”
I glance down. Her eyes are open, soft and sleepy, gazing up at me.
Shit. I thought she was out cold.
I brush my hand along her cheek, feeling the heat of her skin under my fingertips. “Yeah. Can’t seem to switch off,” I whisper.
She rolls toward me, adjusting so she can meet my gaze more directly. “She’ll be okay. But you have to believe that, Kaden. Without hope, without faith, we have nothing.”
I swallow hard. “I know.”
Even if Kiera’s not the only thing haunting my thoughts, Effa doesn’t need that weight right now.
I shift my hand into her hair, gripping it gently. She gasps, her breath hitching as I pull her mouth to mine. I kiss her hard, intense and rough, needing her to feel how much she grounds me.
She climbs over me, our kiss deepening, tongues tangling, her body molding perfectly to mine. Every stroke of her lips against mine is like a balm to my stormy thoughts.
But just as I feel her hips start to rock, she pulls back slightly, breathless. “I want you,” she pants, lips brushing mine. “But a kiss will have to do for now.”
I chuckle, my cock semi-hard against her thigh. “Okay… but can I ask why just a kiss and not a fuck?”
“Because your sister and Gran are in the house,” she replies, matter-of-fact. “I’m being respectful while they’re here. So calm your boner and think nonsexual thoughts, mister, because you’re not getting laid for two days.”
I laugh again, genuinely amused. Fair enough. I’m pretty sure Gran and Kiera wouldn’t care either way, but Effa being mindful of my family? That earns her another gold star in my book.
“Okay, okay. Guess we’d better get some sleep then. Big day tomorrow.”
She presses a soft kiss to my chest, and something about it settles me. Her warmth seeps through my skin and wraps around my heart like armor.
“Goodnight, rocker princess,” I murmur.
She giggles. “Goodnight.”
Closing my eyes, I inhale a deep, steadying breath.
With her in my arms, the weight on my chest eases, just a little, and I let myself drift into the quiet darkness of night.
***
After a restless night, I wake feeling like the weight of the world is bearing down on my chest.
I should be happy. The three most important women in my life are all here, together. Gran, Kiera, Effa. But seeing Kiera, even with the brave face she’s putting on, is making me question everything.
Maybe I shouldn’t be out chasing money.
Maybe I should be home, spending whatever time we have left.
I don’t fucking know.
Everything boils down to money, something I can never seem to get ahead with, and like a total dumbass, all I have done is dig a deeper hole.
Kiera needs this procedure.
Gran’s on a pension.
That leaves me.
And now I owe Vex too.
Fuck.
My mind spirals from worst-case to absolute nightmare.
And every version ends the same…
Me failing the people I love.
I’m barely present as we walk the main street of Ligonier.
The farmer’s market is in full swing, the brass band playing “In the Mood” by Glenn Miller from the town square bandstand.
The upbeat horns and percussion echo through the street—bright, energetic, full of life.
It’s the kind of music that says home to people like Gran and Kiera.
It should feel like home to me too.
But I’m stuck in my head, lost in all the ways I’ve screwed up.
Then Effa’s hand slips into mine.
It grounds me instantly.
I glance down at her under that floppy, wide-brimmed white hat, her face half-hidden behind oversized sunglasses. She doesn’t need the disguise in a town like this, but I know she wears it because Raoul’s not here, and it makes her feel safer.
She frowns up at me. “What’s on your mind?” she whispers, low enough that Gran and Kiera, who are distracted by a market stall, won’t hear.
I shake my head. “Nothing, I’m fine.” I wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side.
She doesn’t buy it.
“Mercs, if you want to leave the tour, I fully understand.”
“What, and leave you? No chance. I’m good, babe. Honestly.” I exhale slowly. “I just need to stop dwelling and start appreciating what’s good. Like the fact that Kiera’s having a decent day today.”
We both glance over at her. She’s beaming, showing off a new scarf to Gran. Her energy is low, but she’s trying. She’s glowing right now and that’s what matters.
Effa nods. “You want to protect her. I get that. But if it eats you alive, you’ll both lose.”
“You’re absolutely right.” I force a smile. “Let’s have a good day.”
“There’s the spirit.” She nudges me. “Now c’mon, there’s a lava lamp calling your name over there.”
I chuckle, following her toward the stall near where Gran and Kiera are still browsing. Kiera’s laughing, like full-on laughing, and it eases something tight in my chest. Seeing her happy reminds me of why I keep fighting.
It fuels me.
I will make this happen.
I have to.
Because no disease will dim my beautiful sister’s light.
Not on my watch.
“Kaden!” Kiera calls.
I glance over as she walks toward me, something hidden behind her back.
“What kind of mischief have you gotten into now?” I ask as Effa steps up beside me.
“Shut up and put your hand out.”
I raise a brow. “When did you get so bossy?”
She grabs my hand and flips it palm-up. I smirk and close my eyes.
“Good man,” she teases.
She drops something cold into my hand. I feel a chain and something solid at the center. I open my eyes as she says, “Aaaand… open.”
I unwrap my fingers to two dog tags.
They are engraved.
Brother.
Sister.
My throat tightens as I flip them over and stare at the words. Kiera leans in and giggles before I pull her into a tight hug.
“I love it, Kiera. Thank you,” I murmur into her hair, kissing her forehead. Then I slide the chain over my head, the tags clinking against my chest, right above the tattoo of her name.
“It’s nothing, but I thought you could take it with you on tour. Something to remind you of me. Or, you know, some sappy shit like that.”
I smile. “I don’t need reminding, I think about you every day. But I’ll never take this off.”
“It’s true,” Effa chimes in. “He hardly shuts up about you.”
Kiera squints at me. “Seriously? You talk about me?”
Effa laughs. “Let’s be real, Kiera. You’re the cool one. Right?”
“Absolutely,” Kiera says with a dramatic nod. “I mean, obviously.”
I scoff. “I thought we agreed, no ganging up.”
Effa leans in. “Pfft. It’s not ganging up if it’s true. Right, Kiera?”
“Truth has never been truer,” she says, nudging me.
I glance around and spot Gran browsing a pumpkin stall. I wander over to her, giving Kiera and Effa a moment. I like them bonding. It’s good for the both of them.
“Hey, Gran,” I say, stepping beside her. “You gonna make that famous pumpkin pie?”
She chuckles. “I was thinking about it. You think a rock star like Effa would like it?”
“Gran, there isn’t a sane person alive who wouldn’t love your pumpkin pie.”
She pinches my cheek. “Suck up.”
I laugh and pay for the pumpkin, grabbing it as we trail behind Kiera and Effa. They’re looking at dream catchers now—Effa’s definitely in her element.
“You hold on tight to that girl,” Gran says. “She’s a keeper.”
“I know.” I nod. “I plan to.”
“I see a light in you, Kaden. A light I haven’t seen in a long time. She brings you back to life. And after everything you’ve been through, you don’t need more heartbreak. So whatever it takes to keep her, you do it.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I reply, and she winks.
Suddenly, Kiera stumbles.
Effa catches her, but I’m already moving, pumpkin and all.
“Kiera!” I call, rushing over.
She’s hunched, arms trembling, but smiling faintly. “I’m okay,” she says weakly. “Just… need some sugar.”
Gran checks her pulse. “You’re a little faint, sweetheart. Do you want to go home?”
“No. Let’s go to Kammie’s.” Kiera shakes her head. “Pie and soda. That’ll fix me.”
Gran gives me a nod, and I carry Kiera across the street. Effa trails behind, pale and shaken. Her eyes shimmer like she’s about to cry.
She wasn’t prepared for this.
I should have warned her.
Eased her into it.
Fuck. This is a lot for someone outside the fight.
Trying to calm her, I keep my voice steady. “Kiera, how’re you feeling now?”
“A little better. Sugar’ll sort me out.”
Effa exhales, the tension easing slightly from her shoulders. I place Kiera back on her feet, and she links her arm through mine as we enter the diner.
Kammie’s is packed, but Gran knows everyone. She’ll sort us out.
I sit Kiera down, Effa beside me. The place is pure retro chaos with pink and aqua everywhere, jukebox humming, and the milkshake bar packed. It’s a lot, but Kiera loves it.
“This place is amazing,” Effa says, removing her hat and shades, her voice laced with awe.
“It is,” Kiera agrees. “I used to come here all the time before…”
Before cancer.
Effa falters, unsure how to respond.
“When you get better, we’ll come again,” I say quickly.
“Yeah,” Kiera says. “Next time you two visit.”
“You betcha.” Effa smiles. “And I’m getting one of those insane milkshakes.” She nods toward a kid slurping a jug covered in cream, pretzels, Oreos, syrup, ice cream, you name it.
Kiera laughs. “That’s called the Heart Attack. And yeah, they’re epic.”
“They’re called the Heart Attack?” Effa laughs. “I love this town.”
Gran arrives with sodas. “Cream pie’s on the way,” she says.
“Thanks, Gran. How much do I owe you?” Effa asks.
Gran waves her off. “Nonsense. My treat.”
“You’re the best. But seriously, dinner’s on me next time.”
Gran squeezes her shoulder. “You’re a darling. But don’t worry about a thing.”
Just then, movement catches my eye, and a waitress heads toward us, tray of pie in hand.
My gut drops.
My body goes rigid.
A low gasp escapes me, my jaw clenching.
Effa reaches for my hand. “Mercs, you okay?”
The waitress steps up with a syrupy smile.
“Well, hey, guys. It’s so good to see y’all again.” Her gaze slides to me, slow and deliberate. “Kaden… I had no idea ya’ll were back in town.” She tilts her head. “I’m assumin’ you came back for me?”
And just like that, the past walks straight back into my present.