5. Tate
TATE
How the fuck was I meant to tell him about something I didn’t even know about?
Not only does Dad think that Vince and I are really together, but he also sounds so sad and disappointed in me for not telling him.
“Dad, we—”
“Sir, we weren’t—” Vince and I start at the same time, but Coach Graham cuts us off.
“Enough, we need to talk about a plan forward.”
It’s clear from all their faces that they believe it too. They all assume that we’ve been—what—secretly dating all season?
This is so much bigger than I thought.
Silvia clears her throat, waving at me to sit down, clearly impatient to get this meeting started.
She has always scared me. She is in her usual pantsuit and blazer even though it’s after three in the afternoon on a Sunday—I’ve never seen her wear anything else.
Ever the professional, she has a kind face, with a voice that tells you she means business.
When I first met her in media training, she made it clear without words that what she says goes, and if you mess it up enough to need her direct attention—lord help you.
Which is why I currently find myself squirming in the hot seat.
I want nothing more than to tell them that they all have it wrong.
That nothing has happened—that nothing is happening.
Sitting on the couch next to Vincent, I can’t help but want to comfort him.
With his head in his hands, I place my hand on his shoulder, giving his back a slight rub, letting him know that I am here for him.
No matter what they think is going on between us, over the last year he has become a mate to me, a friend who has been there to support me through all of my highs and lows of a rookie season, and I won’t turn my back on him with this shit fight either.
“Ideally, we would have preferred to know about this before the media found out,” Silvia says.
“But—” I start, and Silvia raises her hand, cutting me off as her eyes narrow on me.
Yep, shutting up now.
“If we had known beforehand, we could have handled this better from a PR perspective. However, anything can be handled and spun the right way. We have already announced a statement confirming that there has been no breach of rules or favouritism due to the nature of your relationship.”
“Wait, what?” Vince says, looking up for the first time since he sat down.
“As you are the Assistant Coach, there is more room for, how would you say… leniency, especially in the eyes of the public,” Coach Graham says.
“Exactly,” continues Silvia. “As you aren’t his superior—technically Graham and John are his bosses, so while it’s not ideal, there is an element of grey area that we are going to take advantage of.”
“Grey area?” I ask, trying to wrap my head around it all.
“Yes. It has also helped your case that you are so close in age, and neither of you has a spouse or romantic conflict that can rival this situation. While it can be a bit tricky dating within the team, we have a good start to handle the situation with the least amount of scandal. It also helps that the season is over.”
“I’m confused…” Vince says next to me.
“Uh, me too,” I admit. “You released a statement without talking to us?”
“Yes. Well… neither of you were answering your phones, and we thought it would be best to handle it as soon as possible before the public had too long to speculate about it,” Silvia says.
“You know how these things are,” John adds, “The moment something is believed by the public—true or not—there’s no getting rid of it.”
“Ah, yeah, about that…” Vince starts. But Graham cuts him off.
“As we said, it’s not ideal, but we have a policy for handling these things.”
“This sort of thing?” I ask, not sure I totally understand what is happening right now.
“Inter team and staff relations,” Silvia states.
“But there are—“ I start, again cut off by Coach Graham this time.
“Boys, there’s no point in denying it anymore.
To deny it now after the team has already endorsed it will actually make your relationships look worse.
It’s twenty twenty five, the sports world has changed a lot, and while you won’t be the only out members in the league, you’ll be a part of a small group.
We want to show fans that sexuality or relationships don’t matter and don’t impact the game. ”
“But…” Vince trails off, looking at me for the first time since we entered the room. “We… we can be role models.”
“Holy shit.” I drop my hand from Vince’s back and hang my head.
Panic flows through me. I can’t breathe. I can’t process what the fuck is happening to me right now.
“Son… are you ok?” Dad says, standing up and coming over to me.
“I need a minute,” I all but spit out, and storm out of the hotel room.
I pace the hotel hallway, unsure how we even got here.
Yesterday was the best day in my life; I won the premiership, had the best rookie season of my life and it’s what, all overshadowed now because Vince alluded to loving me and my over-supportive team and family just confirmed that we are together?
I’d thought Dad would’ve followed me out, but when the door to Coach Graham’s room opens, it’s Vince there, stepping into my path and pulling me into a hug.
“It’s ok Tate. We’ll figure it out. It’s ok,” he placates me, patting my back.
“How Vince!?” I exclaim, pushing out of his hold and meeting his eyes. “How the fuck do we fix this!? You heard them, we can’t change it now.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. You know that, Tate.” His eyes bore into mine. “Right? You know that I didn’t want anything like this to happen!”
His anxiety is crashing out of him is waves that do their best sweep me up too.
And while I’m angry, scared, and confused myself, I can’t hate him.
Fuck, I wish I could. I don’t even blame him.
I wish we could just put the truth out there and move on from all of this. But apparently that’s not in my future.
Being in a fake relationship with one of my bosses is… my male boss.
What could go wrong?
Watching him, I can see that Vince’s panic isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
I wish there was something that I could do to help, like he was always there to help my anxiety before going into big field matches.
I feel helpless just standing here. This time, I’m the one pulling Vince into a hug.
It’s the only thing I can think of to calm him down.
Rubbing his back, I murmur soft, soothing words, just reassuring him that I am here and everything will be ok. Even if I don't believe it myself.
How I went from storming out of the room to being the rock in his storm boggles my mind so much that I push it to the side. I don't have the time or the attention span to figure it out now.
It’s not long before we hear the door, letting us know someone else has come out to search for us, and I wish it had been Dad or even Coach Graham.
But it's not. It’s Silvia. I have nothing against her, I swear.
Over my rookie season, I had only encountered her a few times, and I guess that was a good thing if this experience has been anything to go by.
But the sour look on her face tells me her true thoughts about this whole situation, and I immediately feel my hackles rise.
“We haven’t finished our meeting,” Silvia says snidely, and Vince’s body immediately tenses in my hold when he realises, she was standing behind him.
He tries to push out of my hold, but fuck that, I pull him closer, not letting him shy away from the comfort he clearly needs just because she’s come out here.
“Finish it without us then,” I say bluntly. They started it without us, hell made a whole statement without us even, then they can finish it too. “We’re done for today.”
I usher Vince down the hallway and back to his room, keeping him tucked under my arm the whole way.
We had barely touched before today. Keeping it mostly to a few comradery back pats, or a high five every now and then.
But today has been full of hugs, pats, and, for lack of a better word...
caresses. I find myself leaning into each touch.
I’d never given too much thought to the physical touch shared between us before, but I can see now that there has been a wall up around him that has slowly crumbled with every new development of the day.
“We can fix this,” he says, starting to pace again when we enter his hotel room. “I can resign or I don't know... come out and just say the truth.”
“You can’t do either of those things, Vince,” I say, now feeling somewhat resigned to our future.
“Well, why not?” He exclaims, turning to meet my eyes again, and while the panic has resided just a little bit, there is a crazed look in his eyes.
“Firstly, the team needs you,” I tell him, trying to urge him to be rational. “You do a great job, you can’t just leave us. Besides, they just said they’ve already announced a statement confirming our relationship. How will the whole situation look if we go back now, trying to rebuke that?”
“You—you think I am a good Coach?” Vince asks, and I think it's... bewilderment in his voice.
“What, don’t you think you’re good at your job?” I ask, smirking at him.
“Coaching was always my back up, I guess. It was always what I would do when I would retire and was at the next stage, you know?” He says, fighting with his hands.
“I wasn't ready to say goodbye to the game, and when I was injured, it never really occurred to me that other people would think I am good at anything else,” he sighs, running his hands through his hair and finally collapsing on the couch.
“Well, you are,” I say, sitting down next to him. “I know I have told you before, but I wouldn’t be the player that I am or have been able to play in the game last night, if I didn't have you there.”
“W-wow.” He looks at me, speechless, and tears brim his eyes.
“What?” I ask, fighting down the urge to... I don't know. Hold his hand or something. I have never felt so restless. Never had to fight my instinctual response so much.
“I just didn't think you thought of me that way,” he admits, a sorrowful tinge to his voice. “It’s hard being alone all the time. I didn't realise how much how I needed this team until I thought I would lose it.”
“You aren't going to lose the team,” I state firmly. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”
“What do you mean?”
“If they’ve done a statement that we are together, then I guess we will just have to be together,” I say, keeping my voice as serious as I can manage. “Well, at least let the public think that we are together, for a little while.”
“What?” The look of shock on his face is so comical that it takes everything in me not to burst out laughing.
“Yeah. Then, in a few months--”
“Months!?” He screeching cutting me off.
“Yeah,” I continue. “Or I guess before the start of the next season, we can just make another statement saying that we have decided we are better off as mates, no hard feelings, and that we can return to our professional Assistant Coach and Player relationship.”
“Y-you would be happy with that?” he asks on a breath.
“Well, yeah,” I shrug.
“You’d pretend to be... queer, for me? What about what that will do to your image?”
“I don't really care too much about that. I’ve always been a fierce ally, and it won't change how I view myself,” I say honestly.
“You... you would really do that for me?” The question lingers, filled with hope and awe.
“Well yeah. You’re my mate,” I say, flashing him a smile.
“Right. Mates.” He shakes his head and slumps back into the couch. I am about to ask him what wrong now, but he speaks first.
“What do we do now?” Vince asks.
“Well, I think they wanted us to make an announcement or something. So maybe we should do that?” I suggest, really, just as lost as he is.
“Like a post on Instagram or something?” Vince asks.
“I mean, sure, that is where all of this started, isn’t it?”
“If you mean this nightmare, then yes. If you mean my feelings, I think they started when I saw you score your first goal in the square.”
“... That long ago? That was like the second game of the season?” I ask, shaking my head. I thought for sure this was just a passing thing... is he saying that he has been in love with me for the whole season?
“I didn't know it then, but looking back on it, that was definitely when my appreciation for your game play, just turned into appreciation for you,” he says, avoiding my gaze.
I feel touched and sad for him at the same time. Amazed that someone would be able to fall in love with me over something like footy, but also sad that he had to hide his feelings for so long.
What would have happened if he didn't get drunk last night and make those comments?
Was he just going to hold it in forever?
Why does that make me feel worse that this media circus?