Chapter 17
Jolee
They’ve wrecked me.
Broken me open.
Wide open.
I feel vulnerable but strangely safe.
I’m not sure how I thought I would feel after having sex for the first time. I also didn’t think I’d be losing my virginity at twenty-eight years old, but here I am.
Surprisingly, I am not sore, and I feel renewed. Calm in a way I haven’t been in a while. My mind and body are always thinking and moving. Never stopping. It’s been an unhealthy coping mechanism. I can see that now. It was easier to shove those feelings and fears down than to face them alone.
Alone.
I’ve felt so alone. That’s it. I never wanted to name it.
These men might have taken my virginity; however, they are giving me so much more. I’m recognizing what my heart hasn’t wanted to face since Andy’s death.
And the fears, hatred, and blame that came with his death are surfacing again, but I’m not as afraid. If this were even a year ago, I’d be scared and would have moved. Trying to start over again like that would change things. But I’m learning it doesn’t work that way.
Clay and Grant are providing me with safety, which no one has before. Not my parents or friends. Not his family.
The unexpected has happened with them, and it feels like fate is opening a new door. A new possibility, or at least some safety. I don’t have to navigate through life alone anymore. I could try to find a new partner. I want something more in my life.
Now, last night. They made me feel like I’m desirable. These two men, on some level, do care for me. This exploration with them is opening me up in ways I never thought I would.
Honestly, I thought I would end up alone for the rest of my life. To think I almost missed out on orgasms given by my men. That would’ve been a tragedy.
I really don’t know where I go from here. I do need to go back to my apartment, and I can’t stay here forever, even though that doesn’t sound too bad.
“Good morning, love. How did you sleep?”
I take Grant in. Hair messy, eyes a deep chocolate brown, and looking as rested as I feel.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you were awake.” My cheeks heat at remembering yesterday. “But I slept well.”
God. This feels awkward. Do I thank him? What am I supposed to say? Can we do it again sometime? Shit. Now I am just staring blankly at him like an idiot.
“There is one thing I missed out on last night, and I’m hoping I get a chance to rectify that this morning.”
Fuck. Now what? What didn’t we do? I thought we covered all the bases. Jesus.
“No need to panic. I think you’re going to enjoy my cock in you very much.”
Oh.
Again, what do I say? I’m never speechless, and he’s taken all my coherent thoughts away. I’m so screwed.
“Um…” It comes out breathy and awkward.
He takes my hand to show me how hard his cock is already. Wow.
“Is that normal in the morning?” Oops. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.
“It’s normal when you and my husband are in bed with me.”
“Oh.” This is what I am reduced to thinking right now. The only thought running through my mind is how his dick will feel compared to Clay’s. My sex tightens thinking about it.
My hand wanders over Grant’s cock. He feels thicker. I keep stroking. I love the feeling of his length growing as I continue to touch him. I know I like feeling it in my mouth, so it should feel good down there, right?
Grant stops my hand, and I look up.
“If you keep doing that, I will be covering your hand and not filling up a condom.”
“Oh.”
“Jo, can I have you? I need to feel how tight and hot your pussy is. Will you let me?”
“Yes,” I whisper. Why would I say no when it felt so good last night?
Grant leans over, kissing my lips, and I reach into his hair to hang on. I need an anchor. His mustache and beard feel rough against my skin. I love it. I can’t get enough of his mouth. His taste.
“Are you getting wet for me? I need to be able to slide into you nice and easy.”
“Um… maybe?” God, that sounds so stupid, but I’m not sure. I bury my face in his warm chest. Maybe I can just pretend I didn’t say that.
He laughs. “Well, that just means I get to check for myself.”
I feel his hand reach down between my thighs, encouraging me to open for him, and I do. I guess I need to learn what turns me on.
He moans and pulls his hand away. I watch as he brings his fingers up to his mouth and licks them clean. He moans louder this time.
And I know that turns me on. Why is that so sexy?
“I guess that means I’m wet?” I question because I have some catching up to do when it comes to learning everything about sex and orgasms.
“Yes. Fuck, yes it does.”
He kisses me, and I get lost in his kiss. Forgetting everything and enjoying this moment.
He pulls me on top of him as we are kissing. His hard length gets trapped between my thighs.
“If I didn’t want in this pussy so damn bad, I’d fuck your thighs and cover them with my cum.”
I moan. That sounds hot, too. I’m up for more than I even realize. Research. I need to do some research and get caught up. I want to feel like I’m not just the one learning here, but I could show them something or be sexier.
He moves me down his body a little more, getting his dick closer to my sex. My mind flashes back to the orgasm he gave me with his cock yesterday. I will never look at a kitchen table the same way again.
The wetness glides between my thighs. I want him. I want him to make me feel hot. Sexy. All the things I’ve never felt before.
Grant slips a condom on.
I lean forward until I feel his cock where I want it most and slowly sit back. Showing him that I want him just as bad, maybe more.
“That’s it. Take my cock nice and slow.”
He grabs my hips, showing me how to rock them back and forth on his cock. Each time, he goes a little further. A little deeper.
Oh, that feels good.
“You’re beautiful sitting on my cock. Someday you could take both of them at the same time.”
My eyes widen. “No way. They would never fit together. You barely fit now.”
“We’d stretch you first and use lots of lube. We’d take care of you.”
I shake my head no and return to my rocking. Reminding him that he’s in me right now.
“Do you want all the control, Jo? Do you want to make me come?”
“Yes. Please.”
“Put your hands here. Use me to learn what you like. Ride my cock as slow or as fast as you want.”
And I do, testing out what makes him moan and what turns me on. I love that he is letting me take the lead and learn, knowing I need this.
I almost want to cry, but I’m too close to coming myself. I need him to let go.
“That’s it. So good.”
His encouragement keeps me going. Determined to take him over with me, I squeeze his cock and rock faster.
Shit.
This is a workout. The best one I’ve ever done.
His hand finds my clit, knowing what I need… to come.
“Let Clay hear you scream. Come on my cock, Jo.”
“I’m close.” My legs are quivering. Grant pinches my clit, sending me over into bliss. “Grant! Oh, God!”
My orgasm continues to roll over me, next thing I know, I’m being flipped onto my stomach as Grant thrusts his cock back in me in one stroke.
“Ah!” My orgasm feels never-ending. What is happening to me?
His thrusts are hard, rough, and I fucking love it. He’s lost complete control of himself as he chases what he needs. I’ve found a new turn on. This. All of this.
The bed shakes, and he only seems to pick up speed. It makes me feel powerful that he can’t get enough of me.
“Fuck. So fucking good, Jo.”
I didn’t know I’d like it rough, but damn. I do. My clit continues to throb as it rubs against rumpled sheets. Fuck. It’s almost too much, but I find myself wanting more.
“Grant… oh shit…” I can’t stop it. “I’m going to come again.”
“Fuck yes. Give it to me.” His voice is deep. Raspy and feral.
That’s all it takes as I go over again. My vision is covered in black spots as I’m tossed into oblivion. The bed never stops. Grant is not slowing down.
“Well, good morning. Fuck this is hot.” Clay says lazily. I manage one eye to focus on him, and I watch in fascination as he strokes himself.
“Jo! Fuck!” Thrust. “Fuck!” Thrust. “Fuck!”
Grant jerks behind me, staggering, and finally lets go.
“Grant! Jo!” I hear Clay in the distance as he comes with Grant.
My mind and body melting into the bed, sated and tired. I feel lips kissing my back, hands massaging my body as sleep pulls me under.
“Thank you.” Grants words are whispered before I’m out.