In Too Deep

6. Chapter Six

~Kian~

Marco’s request didn’t take me by surprise. I’d talked to enough low-level guys we busted to know how these things usually started. You’d be asked to do a favour, something completely innocent-sounding and innocuous, something you’d sound foolish and paranoid for saying no to. If you did it well, you’d be thanked and maybe even rewarded. Eventually, you’d be asked again, and again, until the time they actually gave you something real to do. By that time, you’d feel like you had no choice but to say yes since you’d said yes so many times before.

Simple and effective, it preyed on human nature and the desire to fit in and be part of a team. The carrot Marco dangled in front of me differed from the norm: he preyed on my desire to spend time with Cara instead, but I had no doubt that prey was how he saw me. He wouldn’t let anyone into his inner circle whom he couldn’t control, and since getting close to Cara would mean getting close to him, he wanted me under his thumb too, starting with this one, simple ‘favour’.

Thomas and I had discussed what to do if and when I got to this point, but neither of us expected it to come so quickly, and I wanted to check in with him before I made any move. To that end, I posted on my fake, anonymous social media account to say that I’d be at my local gym on Thursday morning, knowing that he’d recognize that as the meet-up request I meant it as. Sure enough, after I’d been on the treadmill for about ten minutes, Thomas came up to hop on the treadmill next to me.

“Oh, hey! Kian, right? We met at the pub,” he greeted me, just in case anyone was listening.

“Alright, Tom?” I didn’t break my stride as he got his own program lined up.

“Good, thanks. I usually go running out in Victoria Park, but not in this weather.” Rain streaked the tinted windows in front of us, giving us a perfect excuse for being in the gym that day. “Is this your regular gym?”

“Yeah, I live not too far away.”

We made small talk for a little while until we both felt certain no one paid any attention to us. Tom turned on a small radio he’d brought with him which would help to muffle our conversation and interfere with the signal if anyone was trying to listen in electronically.

“What’s going on?” he asked, straight down to business with the precautions in place. He knew I had to have a reason for asking him to meet me.

“I met with Marco yesterday. He’s got a job for me.”

Thomas nearly tripped in surprise. “You’re kidding me. Already?”

“I know, it’s fast. I think he really doesn’t suspect a thing. He just thinks I’m interested in his sister and he’s trying to size me up for potential.”

“That’s incredible, Kee, well done.” My partner’s praise meant a lot to me since he was the only other person who understood just how important this was. “What’s the job?”

“Delivering some cash to a contact in the City. Simple as that.”

“And what story did he give you?”

“He said he’d borrowed it from a friend and didn’t have time to go and return it. He’s not exactly breaking the mould here with originality.”

Thomas huffed in agreement, and he agreed with me on the wider implications too. “The task isn’t important. He just wants to see how pliable you’ll be.”

“Exactly. I did push back on the meeting with him in the first place but I think I should go along with this. I just wanted to get your opinion first.”

We’d made this promise to each other when we decided to undertake the operation in the first place: any major decisions would be made together, as much as possible. We would both feel vindicated when we succeeded or we would both bear the risk and the blame if things went wrong.

I filled him in on the rest of the conversation with Marco at the coffee shop and how things were developing with Cara. Specifically, I told him about how she’d confided in me about the accident, and how I suspected she might not actually know it had been a set-up.

“You like her.” The words weren’t quite an accusation, but rather, a warning. We both knew the dangers of getting personally attached.

Though my instinct was to defend myself, I couldn’t lie to him. We’d promised each other total honesty and total trust, so I levelled with him. “She’s hard not to like. She’s sweet and charming and fucking beautiful. I mean, probably the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen up close.”

None of that was a lie, but her beauty wasn’t only physical. What really got me was the shy way she smiled, the almost naive way she explained Marco’s request to me, her vulnerability when she leaned into me while she told me about her accident, and the simple trust she placed in me. When she admitted that she really wanted to see me again, it touched me in a way I truly hadn’t expected.

“And you want to save her.” Again, he didn’t accuse me of anything. He just wanted to make sure I had no illusions about how I felt so that I could control my emotions rather than letting them control me.

“If she’s innocent, then yeah, I’d like to get her away from all of it. Who wouldn’t? But I won’t forget the big picture, Thomas. I know where my priorities are. If it comes down to it, taking Marco down comes before everything. That hasn’t changed.”

He nodded, taking me at my word, but he did have one more question: “And if the opportunity comes up to sleep with her?”

We had talked about that before. Prior to meeting Cara, we both agreed that a sexual relationship with her would be both practical and desirable, if the opportunity arose, as a way to get closer to her and into the house, which would be a huge win for us.

Since meeting her, though, it seemed less clear. She liked me too, I knew that, and not just in a physical way. If she had been more like what I expected, colder and more worldly, and there had been some mutual lust, that would be one thing. But leading her on in that way when she seemed so inexperienced felt dirty, somehow. It felt wrong. And yet, I couldn’t deny my attraction to her either. If we really had just met, if all of this was playing out as she thought it was, I would certainly be thinking about sleeping with her simply because I liked her. But I knew the complications of our situation even if she didn’t, and hurting her on purpose didn’t appeal to me.

In short, I didn’t know the answer to his question yet. There were still too many variables. “I’ll just have to see how it goes, I guess.”

With Thomas’ agreement, I went to the City that afternoon as Marco asked me to. Among the shoppers in the Royal Exchange, I found the man I was looking for standing outside one of the high-class jewellery stores.

“John Smith?” It couldn’t be any more of a fake name, but the man in the cheap suit nodded at me anyway, flashing me the business card I’d been told to look for. He wouldn’t be anyone important either, just there to pick up the cash payment for his own employer. “From Marco Russo, with his thanks.”

I handed over the envelope, which the man quickly pocketed, and without a word, he went on his way. Out of instinct, I glanced around, and on the opposite side of the galleria, in front of another store, stood another man in a suit, watching me. As soon as he noticed me looking, he turned away, walking away as quickly as the first man had.

Was that one of Marco’s men checking up on me? One of ‘John Smith’s’ men checking up on his asset? Or someone else entirely? I made a note of his description to share with Thomas later, but otherwise, I couldn’t do much more for the time being. I’d done what Marco asked of me, so I would just have to wait and see what his next move would be.

~Cara~

No sooner had I stepped into the entrance hall on Friday than Marco presented me with his list of rules, already wearing his coat as if he were on his way out.

“Two of my men will go with you. They don’t have to sit with you but they’ll be in the pub to make sure nothing goes wrong. If you leave the room, you have to tell them where you’re going and they’ll follow you if they think it’s necessary.”

My arms crossed almost of their own accord. As relieved and excited as I was that he had decided to let me go, I couldn’t see how this evening could get very private if I had two babysitters along for the ride. “And if I have to go to the toilet, are they going to follow me there too?”

“If they think it’s necessary,” Marco repeated. “I know you don’t like it, Cara, but it’s for your own safety. I’m not trying to cockblock you, no matter what you think.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks at Marco’s blunt assessment. We never talked about sex, at least not when it came to me. I knew he slept with many different women, but he usually didn’t parade it in front of me, and he’d never had a serious relationship. On the other hand, I was still mostly a virgin. ‘Mostly’ because I had made myself come before, back when I could still use my hands properly. Through trial and error, I found that the showerhead in my bathroom and my fingers made a good combination, but since my accident, I hadn’t bothered to try it. Naturally, I never told my brother about that, and when it came to being with a real, live man, I had nothing to tell anyway.

So the fact that he would mention sex, even obliquely, told me that he thought it might be possible. It suggested that if he were a man in Kian’s shoes, he would be thinking about it. Did that mean Kian would be thinking about it too? We hadn’t even kissed yet, but Marco would have a better idea than I did about what Kian’s expectations might be, as a fellow man.

Tentatively, I asked for clarification, wanting to be sure I understood his conditions fully. “So, if Kian invites me out somewhere else, outside of the pub…?”

“You can go as long as my men go with you. They’ll check that it’s safe before you go in.”

That still sounded rather ridiculous, but I latched onto the part where he said I could go. “What if he invites me to his place?”

Marco’s eyebrows raised ever-so-slightly, but he repeated his earlier answer. “They’ll check that it’s safe before you go in.”

“They’re going to check his flat? For what?”

“For any kind of danger. They know what they’re looking for. Once they ascertain it’s clean, you can go in and they’ll stay outside. I’m really trying to compromise here. Can you agree to meet me halfway?”

To be fair, he had made some concessions, starting with agreeing to let me go in the first place, and though it still felt like overkill to me, it did give me some freedom. Kian hadn’t been scared off yet by any of Marco’s over-the-top demands, so hopefully one more wouldn’t hurt. That was if he invited me back to his place at all, which he hadn’t given me any indication he might do. There was a very good chance I had built this night up in my head to be something far greater than it would turn out to be. For all I knew, Kian might have told twenty other girls he was playing tonight and they could come and listen to him if they wanted. Truthfully, he hadn’t offered me anything more than that.

“Where are you going tonight?” I asked, trying to take the focus off me before I could get any more nervous about my own evening.

“Out.” As usual, when it came to his own life, he clammed right up. When I threw him a dirty look, he gave me a tiny bit more. “I know I’ve been busy lately, but if this weekend goes well, I’ll be able to relax.”

That might have been the most unbelievable thing he’d said so far, and he laughed when my eyebrows shot up.

“Okay, maybe not fully relax, but take a bit of a breather, anyway. Have a good time tonight.”

It sounded like he really meant that, and I offered him a real smile. “Thanks, Marco. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He headed out the door while I went to the kitchen to try to eat something, and then to my room to get ready for my night out. It took trying on six different outfits before I settled on one that looked sexy without trying too hard: my favourite skinny jeans with some heels and a black top with a scooped neck, which shimmered when the light hit it just right. A spritz of my favourite perfume, some light makeup and my hair down… no, up… no, down again, and finally, I felt ready.

Marco insisted we take one of his cars, and I sat in the back while my two bodyguards drove up front. Outside my window, London rolled by: the Thames as we drove along the river, St Paul’s and the skyscrapers of the City, across Brick Lane with its colourful murals, and up to Bethnal Green while I peered out curiously, taking it all in. I’d never been to this part of the city before, and I tried to get some hint of what Kian’s life must be like there, even though I still didn’t even know how long he’d lived there. There was still so much I wanted to know about him, and hopefully, I would have a chance to get some of my questions answered that night.

People stood outside the pub with their drinks, enjoying the warm Friday evening, and inside, crowds filled almost every empty space. Kian said he would go on around eight, in just a few minutes from when I walked in the door, but I couldn’t see him nor any obvious stage where he might be playing. Every inch of the place seemed to be filled with people or tables, everyone laughing and talking and looking like they belonged there while I felt entirely unsure and out of place as I squeezed through the crowd, looking for Kian’s familiar face.

A man nearly ran into me with a pint in each hand, the contents sloshing out onto one of my shoes. He muttered an apology and moved on. Another woman’s bag hit my shoulder as she pushed past me. My bodyguards were still there, but keeping their distance behind me as Marco had promised, leaving me feeling far more alone than I’d expected to.

What if Kian wasn’t there? What if he’d changed his mind? What if he’d never been coming at all and it had been some kind of prank? My thoughts grew wilder with every step until I felt ready to turn around and head back out, even though no more than five minutes could have passed since we arrived.

“You must be Cara.” The voice didn’t come from Kian, but the man who appeared in front of me gave me a friendly smile. “Kee told me to look for the most beautiful girl in the place, so it must be you.”

“You’re a friend of Kian’s?” That was the first good news I’d had since arriving, and I breathed a sigh of relief when he nodded.

“I’m Thomas. This is crazy, isn’t it? It’s not usually like this in here, but come with me. Kee saved you a table up front.”

He cleared a path for us to a corner of the pub I hadn’t been in yet, where there was indeed a small stage set up and an empty table next to it with a ‘reserved’ sign on it. Warmth spread through my body at the sight of it; he couldn’t have invited twenty other girls here if he just had the one table reserved. It must really just be for me.

“Someone tweeted that Tom Holland is going to be here tonight,” Thomas explained with a laugh as we both took a seat. “I can’t imagine it’s true, but it brought the crowd out anyway. Kian was afraid he’d miss you, so he asked me to keep an eye out while he waited by the bar. He’ll be along in just a minute. Can I get you a drink?”

I rarely drank, and when I did, it was usually just wine. Would that be appropriate in a place like this? I stammered over my answer for a moment before Thomas smiled.

“How about I let Kee pick? He’s got a nose for this sort of thing.”

With that, he left me alone, and I glanced around, still feeling out of place. Several people were staring at me, probably because I was sitting alone at a table when everywhere else in the pub was so crowded. My bodyguards had both taken up positions where they could see me, and I felt the weight of their eyes on me too. I began to feel overwhelmed again, wondering what on earth had possessed me to leave the familiarity of my house and come to a place so completely alien to me. The chatter of people talking over each other began to remind me of the shouts from the day of my accident, and panic started to rise inside me, just as it had when I told Kian about the accident in the first place.

Suddenly, Kian slid into the seat across from me, pushing a drink over to me across the table, and when I looked up into his blue eyes, the tightness in my chest released. He looked as casual as ever, at home and relaxed in his jeans and long-sleeved shirt that stretched across his chest just enough to make it clear that a solid, firm body lay beneath it.

“I’m so glad you could come, Cara.”

And just like that, I felt glad about it too.

~Kian~

The tweet about the fake celebrity sighting had been Thomas’ idea, and when I first laid eyes on Cara sitting at the table, her shoulders hunched and her arms tight to her body, looking like she wanted to disappear, I could have kicked him for it. Clearly, she felt uncomfortable in the crowd, and even if he did achieve what he wanted to tonight, the crush of people would make it harder for her and I to connect as I’d hoped we would. I’d envisioned her watching me play followed by the two of us getting cozy in one of the booths as we got to know each other better. With the hordes of people filling the pub, that wouldn’t be an option.

I’d just have to try to get us out of there as soon as possible and find a more private place to talk. First, however, I had to keep up appearances and perform.

“Are you okay here alone?” I asked her as she took a sip of the White Russian I’d ordered for her. It seemed like the kind of drink she would like, and she made no complaints about it. “I should get started, everything’s a bit behind because of the crowd.”

“Is your friend coming back?” she asked, glancing back at the masses of people to look for Thomas.

“No, he’s here with friends of his own. We’re not close friends, we met not that long ago here in the pub, so when I needed an extra body tonight, he came in handy.” I didn’t want her to remember too much about Thomas. It had been a risk for him to get involved at all, but he made that call.

For some reason, Cara smiled wistfully at my words. “I guess you make a lot of friends easily.”

Was she jealous over my ability to make friends or that I had other friends besides her? “Not many people make as much of an impression on me as you do,” I told her truthfully, and she blushed into her drink as she took another sip. “Just give me a sign if you need anything while I’m up there, alright?”

She promised she would, and taking my own pint up with me, I hopped up onto the small stage, grabbed my guitar from the stand and turned the microphone on.

“Hi, everyone. I know not many of you are here tonight to see me, but I’m going to play anyway. My name’s Kian and you might know me as the guy with the guitar case you avoid making eye contact with on your way to the tube.”

That got me a few chuckles, and a smile from Cara.

“I’ll take some requests in a little while, but first, we’ll just get warmed up a bit.”

With no further preamble, I launched into Passenger’s “Let Her Go”, followed by Green Day’s “Good Riddance”. Conversation continued over my playing, hardly anyone stopping to simply watch and listen like Cara did, but the applause at the end of each song felt genuine. I took a few requests after that, stopping in between to chat with the requestor and find out a bit about them and why they chose the song, and then I played a few more from my standard setlist. Finally, to finish off, I got to the new song I’d been working on for the last ten days, ever since I met Cara in the first place.

“This one’s an original song and it’s my first time playing it, so go easy on me, alright? None of you paid a cover charge to get in, so you can grin and bear it for a few more minutes.”

Again, those paying any attention to me laughed, but Cara sat up straighter, her body leaning closer to me as she gave me her undivided attention. As I took a drink before I began playing, my hand actually shook. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been nervous performing, but her opinion mattered to me, more than I realized until that moment.

I really wanted her to like it.

The opening chords were based on the Shostakovich piece I played when she first saw me, and I could see the jolt of recognition that went through her body. She might be the only person in the whole pub who recognized it, but that didn’t matter; the fact that she did made it worthwhile.

You’ve got your path and I’ve got mine

Different dreams and different plans

But almost like it was by design

You found me in the song

If I could stop the rising sea

I’d build a bridge with these two hands

We’d play the same melody

I’d find you in your song

As the last chords faded away, scattered applause sounded out through the pub, but my eyes were fixed on Cara who hadn’t looked away from me the whole time. Just like I’d described in the lyrics, it felt like something connected us through the music, something deeper and stronger than I expected.

It felt like she understood it.

Finally, I had to look away, standing up to pack up my equipment. “Thanks for listening, everyone. Enjoy the rest of your night. And thanks to my friend Tom for coming to cheer me on.”

Immediately, every head in the place swivelled, trying to see who I was looking at, and I couldn’t hide my grin.

“Sorry, I was talking about Tom Bentley. Did you guys think I meant someone else?” Groans and a few good-natured boos rang out as people realized they’d been had, and I turned around to put my guitar back in its case. Stepping off the stage, I headed back to Cara’s table, leaning close to her so she could hear me over the hubbub. “Listen, we aren’t going to be able to hear ourselves think if we stay here, but if I’m leaving, I have to take the guitar. Would you mind if we drop it off at my place? It’s just a couple of blocks away.”

That pretty blush spread up her cheeks again. “I don’t mind, but Marco insists that his men check out your apartment first before I go in. Is that okay?”

She gestured over her shoulder to the two men that Thomas had noticed following her. Their presence didn’t surprise me, nor did her request, though I tried to pretend that it did.

“Am I going to get reported if I’ve got dirty dishes in the sink?” I asked, trying to make a joke out of it, and Cara laughed gratefully.

“I don’t think so, but honestly, I’m not sure what they’re looking for. He said it wouldn’t take too long.”

I had a pretty good idea what they’d be looking for, but I also knew my flat was clean, so it didn’t concern me if they wanted to have a look around. However, I hadn’t actually intended to invite her in; I just thought I would drop the guitar off and we could go find a quieter bar or pub to talk in. The fact that she assumed I would invite her suggested that she would be open to it, and it brought my dilemma about how far to take our relationship into sharper relief. If we were alone in my flat, things could get heated pretty quickly.

I decided to come clean with her, at least on this point. “To be honest, I meant that I would just drop the guitar off and we could go out somewhere else. Then there’s no need for them to search my flat.”

“Oh.” Cara’s eyes widened in surprise and a touch of embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I thought… I didn’t mean to invite myself in.”

A strong protective urge shot through me, dangerously strong, wanting to spare her any awkwardness. And truthfully, there was no reason I couldn’t ask her in. We were both adults and I could control myself. If Marco had okayed it, I should take advantage of that.

“Don’t be sorry. I didn’t want to rush anything, but if you’re comfortable with that, it would be a lot nicer to be able to talk to you properly rather than shouting in your face.”

She smiled, looking relieved. “Let’s do that, then.”

I nodded in agreement, giving her a cheeky grin. “We’ll collect your goons and go.”

Carrying my guitar case in front of me, I pushed through the crowd with Cara behind me. Marco’s men followed her outside where she explained to them what was happening now.

“I’m Kian, by the way.” I held out my hand to both of them and they each shook it warily. “If you’re going to be rifling through my underwear drawer, I’d feel better if we were on a first name basis.”

They begrudgingly offered their names - Paul and Jussi, apparently - and together, the four of us headed to my flat. I waited outside with Cara, not wanting to leave her alone while they checked things over, and about ten minutes later, they returned, giving us all the all clear.

“We’ll wait out here,” Paul told us both, sounding like a promise to Cara and a warning to me. “If anything happens to her, Marco will hold you responsible.”

“I understand.” Giving him a salute, I took Cara by the hand, and led her into my flat.