Chapter 21
There was an empty seat next to my father and one next to Caro. Grayson read my mind and quirked a brow at me. Already the power play had begun.
I moved to Caro’s side of the table and sat next to her. Grayson gave me a knowing look, and my father pretended that he didn’t notice. And maybe he didn’t. Maybe he left things like that up to Grayson.
Caro smiled warmly at me. “How are you today, Jane? Your Econ quiz go okay?”
I nodded. “Yes. Aced it.”
“Good for you,” she said, placing her hand on mine and giving it a squeeze.
Caro had been very nice to me these past weeks, and we’d talked about a lot of things. I would even say we’d grown quite close. But she wasn’t a toucher. In fact, I think this was the first time she’d touched me.
It did not escape my notice that it happened for the first time in front of my father and Grayson.
They noticed too. My father gave a small smile, like he was happy I’d become so close to his ex-wife.
Grayson eyed Caro suspiciously.
“We’re trying to figure out what might be best for Joe’s campaign as it applies to my…involvement. And yours as well,” she said, ignoring Grayson’s look and giving my hand another squeeze before returning hers to the tablet and pen in front of her.
“Then it’s probably a good thing I’m here,” I said, looking pointedly at Grayson. He and I had not finalized any kind of deal about how much I’d be available for my father’s campaign. Yvette was an opening bid, sure, but there was still negotiating to be done.
I scooted my chair up closer to the table, took off my coat. pulled my laptop, a notebook and pen out of my backpack, and placed them on the table.
“Okay, let’s talk about it,” I said.
“Can I get anyone anything?” Stick said, still in the doorway. “Caro? More tea?”
He made his way around the table, collecting empty plates and mugs.
“Dotty can do that, Stick, you don’t need to.”
“It’s fine. Tea?” He picked up her empty mug.
“Yes, thank you.”
“Sure thing.” He was just about out the doorway when my father said, “More coffee for me, please.” Stick kept walking. I wasn’t sure if he’d heard my father or not. Or, more likely, he’d heard him but pretended not to.
We talked for a bit about my class schedule and how much I’d be available until school got out. It was assumed I would be part of the campaign full-time during the summer break.
“What if I’d wanted to get a job?” I said.
“Is your mother not passing on the money I send her for you? You don’t need a summer job.”
I had no idea how much he was giving my mother, and what percentage of it was being put into my account by her, but no, I didn’t need money, and I said as much.
“Then I don’t understand,” my father said. “Why would you want to get a job?”
I shrugged. “Responsibility, accountability…you know, all that grown-up shit that I’m supposed to be learning.”
Stick was back with Caro’s tea and a bottle of water, which he placed in front of me.
“I was thinking I might stay here for the summer, get a job and take a few extra classes.” I hadn’t thought any such thing until that moment, but it was awesome watching everybody’s reactions.
Stick’s hand stayed on the water bottle in front me, flexing just a tiny bit. He then removed it and stepped back, behind me.
My father looked confused.
Caro and Grayson shared the same look. One that said the bargaining was just beginning.
“How are you enjoying your new car, Jane?” Grayson asked, throwing the first volley.
“Considering I didn’t ask for it, didn’t want that kind and couldn’t drive a stick shift…I like it just fine.”
“Would you like a different make? That can be arranged.” This from my father. He was looking over my shoulder, at Stick, giving him a “what a fuck-up” look.
“Actually, turns out it was the perfect car for me,” I said. “I just never asked for one.”
“What kid doesn’t want a new car?” my father asked.
“The kind of kid who wants to bargain for something else,” Grayson said.
There was a small snort from Stick, which he quickly covered with a fake cough. “If you don’t need anything else, Caro,” he said, and I imagined him staring down my father as he said Caro’s name, “then I’m going to hit the garage.”
“Why don’t you stay?” Grayson said. “You might have a good understanding of what Caro would feel up to.” He waved at the chair next to me, and Stick, after receiving a nod from Caro, sat next to me.
Now it looked like three against my father, with Grayson being the referee.
“You don’t think I’m the best person to say what I’m able to do?” Caro asked Grayson with an iciness in her voice.
“No,” he said, then looked back at this laptop.
I imagined this scene, or something similar, had played out around tables with these three for years before I was born, and for quite a few after. Even after the divorce.
Minus the dying of cancer, though that had been present before.
And certainly minus the bastard daughter sitting in.
Caro and Grayson would plan and plot, sometimes in sync, many times not. And my father would sit and listen…and let them try to make him king.
My mother’s voice came back to me: “The only reason he was ever with her—the only reason he’s still with her—was because she was almost as good a political mind as that prick Grayson Spaulding.
He should have just hired her, not married her.
But no, he had to hedge every bet and marry her for her father’s connections. ”
She’d had lots to say about my father choosing to stay with Caro even after I was born. Stuff you probably shouldn’t share with a kid, but that never stopped my mother. To her, Joe staying with Caro and not wanting to be with my mother had always been about image.
“We just don’t want you to overdo it, Caro,” my father said.
“You just don’t want me to keel over when you happen to be standing next to me.”
“She totally emasculated him, Jaybird. No wonder he went looking. No wonder he fell so fast and hard for me. That’s the key, Jaybird, you have to soothe them. Even if they’re being total dipshits, you have to pretend everything they say and do is golden. That’s how you keep a man.”
Never mind that Caro Stratton kept her man for twenty years before my mother came along, and my mother had never managed to keep any man for more than a year or two, including my father. Especially my father.
“Caro, that’s not true, I—”
“Let’s cut to the chase, shall we? I find that dying gives me a sense of urgency I’d rather not ignore.”
“Okay, let’s not pussyfoot around,” Grayson said.
They’d been pussyfooting thus far? I couldn’t wait to see how they acted when the gloves came off.
Except I could. I didn’t really want to see these people interacting with each other as they normally did.
I’d kind of grown a grudging respect for Grayson Spaulding after Betsy’s wedding. My father, though he hadn’t earned my respect, was someone I was able to deal with.
And even after years of hearing my mother bad-mouth her, and having no illusions that she could be an ice queen at times, I’d grown to like Caro while watching her sift through the photos of her children.
I’d always respected her, been in awe of her, but now I liked the woman herself.
“Does the public knowing that I’m dying help you or hurt you?” Caro said. She directed this more to Grayson.
He shrugged. “It depends. And really, it could go either way. It could help with a sympathy vote. You and Joe have always shown a united front, been very upfront about co-parenting”—he waved a hand—“all that shit.” Caro and my father were nodding along with Grayson.
Stick and I stayed silent, but I sensed him fidgeting beside me.
This was new to both of us, but at least I was genetically predisposed to be a dispassionate cutthroat.
“You would obviously be openly supportive of Joe running for office.” He tapped his pen, looked around the table. “But…it could go the other way. Voters skew older, especially here, and people have a long memory. They might somehow equate you being sick with Joe cheating on you.”
“That’s absurd,” my father said.
“It’s a gut reaction. They wouldn’t logically believe that. But they’d see you two together, obviously note that Caro was dying.”
I looked out of the corner of my eye at how Caro was taking the frank talk, but she was nodding, and even finished for Grayson: “And emotionally make the leap from the man who hurt me to the state I’m in now.”
“Right. It’s a risk. But it’s probably more of a risk to not have you public at all. It will open a can of ‘what’s Caro think about Joe running’ that we’d do well to get out in front of.”
“You sure we can’t call Betsy and Joey back sooner?” my father asked Caro. “They’d help diffuse it all. If they were there too, supporting me and beside you, maybe people wouldn’t make that emotional leap.”
“No. I do not want them back until either after the election, or when I…need to say my goodbyes.”
I could tell my father wanted to argue with her, but he wisely kept his mouth shut. His douche meter ticked lower by a few notches.
But he was still in the red zone.
Grayson was watching me, waiting. He knew it had to be my idea, even though he’d planted the seed at Betsy’s wedding. I took a deep breath, and he gave me a small nod.
“What if I was there? Whenever Caro was? I mean, surely she’s not going to—won’t be able to—do a ton of stuff, right? A few appearances?” I motioned to Grayson. “You said something about an interview early on with a friendly journalist? What if I was part of that?”
Grayson smiled at me—a small one, but it felt good.
“You’re just as much of a double-edged sword as I am,” Caro said. “We position you to show Joe’s a family man, but everybody remembers he was cheating on his wife when you were conceived.”
“This is all bullshit. Jane has nothing to do with this. She’s got a good thing going at school. You don’t want to mess with that,” Stick said from beside me.
It was sweet, kind of, that he was sticking up for me. Little did he know there was no room at this table for sweet.
My father looked at Stick like he was something from the bottom of his shoe. “I thought you were Caro’s help? How do you even know Jane?”
Stick looked at me, daring me to answer my father.
“He’s—”
“Irrelevant for this conversation. Stick, I know you mean well, but Jane is involved, whether she wants to be or not. This campaign—and governorship—will affect her. She might as well get used to that now, and be in on the decision-making process.”
Oh, crap. I hadn’t even thought beyond this governor campaign. What would it mean for me to have my father be the governor of Maryland?
There was no way a simple interview with Caro, then a summer of smiling and waving from a stage, would be the end of it.
It would only be the beginning. And somehow I just knew that Maryland wouldn’t be enough.
“This is bigger, right? I mean, Maryland is just the first step,” I said, looking at each of them.
None of them answered, but their faces all confirmed I was right.
“Oh, Jesus,” I whispered. “Jaybird will be back forever.”
“We have to win this election first, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Grayson said, sensing my growing agitation.
Yeah, I was starting to freak out.
I kind of liked the idea of the strategizing and the power plays, and the guessing what image people would respond to. But from the table, behind the scenes.
I had a flash of me in the future on the steps of the Capitol in DC (was that even where they swore in the president?) standing next to Betsy and Joey as my father was sworn in.
It was not an image that made me feel good.
“Okay, right. Let’s keep it in perspective,” I said. I rubbed my hands on my pants, finding them a bit sweaty. Stick placed his hand on mine, flat against my thigh. Much as I loved the contact, I pulled my hand away and put it on the table, taking up my pen.
Just as there was no room for sweet at the table, there was also no room for comfort.
“Caro and I will do the interview together. Appear together when needed.”
They were nodding, making notes. “We’ll play up the ‘family comes in all shapes and sizes angle’ and appeal to all those coming from nontraditional families,” Grayson said. “I’ll have Elliot pull the numbers on that. How many families in Maryland are nontraditional.”
“Have him pull current divorce and infidelity rates in both Maryland and the US while he’s at it,” Caro added, and Joe nodded, typing into his laptop.
“It would be good to have those numbers.” She looked up, as if off into space.
“You see, we’re just like X percent of the people in Maryland—we’ve made mistakes, moved on, and are doing our best for our families.
” It was said in a dreamy voice, and I realized she was doing a practiced answer for a possible interview question.
“Yes. Exactly,” Joe said, beaming at his ex-wife.
“It was always more of a political partnership than anything else. I don’t know why I was such the bad guy for just bringing a little love into the man’s life,” my mother had said countless times.
She was right: Joe and Caro made great partners. But there was something in my father’s eyes when he looked at Caro that I’d never seen with anyone else.
“And our family has grown and bonded over Caro’s latest battle for her life. It has really brought home to us the importance of acceptance,” Joe said in his politician’s voice, answering the same nonexistent reporter that Caro had.
He kind of shook himself out of it, and they smiled at each other.
I was both fascinated and appalled. And so, so on the verge of losing it, thinking that this was my future, and half my gene pool.
The good half!
“I can’t thank you enough for bringing Jane out here…Stick, is it?” my father said to Stick. “Getting her to bond with Caro is going to make this so much easier. It’s going to look so authentic.”
My body jerked. Grayson looked at Joe like he was an idiot. Caro laid her hand on mine and said, “That’s because it is…authentic.”
I slid my hand from underneath her cool one and looked at Stick. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“What?” he said. His eyes were pinballing around from person to person, not getting that they’d totally outed him as part of some undercover assignment.
To use me.