Chapter Fifteen
November 2014, Canterbury, Kent, England
Chris ran his hands through Molly’s hair. ‘I can’t believe I’m back here. Last night was incredible. Tonight’s something else.’
Molly kissed him again, sliding her hands over his naked body. ‘One night wasn’t enough.’
‘It wasn’t enough for me either,’ Chris replied. ‘I haven’t been able to get you out of my head.’
A beeping sound made them both jump and Molly’s eyes flew open. She rolled over, her breathing ragged. Unsure if she was alone, she switched off her alarm and flew out of bed, checking the bathroom.
I was empty. He wasn’t there. For a second, she wasn’t sure whether she was happy about that or not.
She dragged herself into the shower, her heart still racing.
When she arrived at the station, right in front of her, was a man wearing a very familiar navy coat.
‘Morning,’ Chris said, a soft smile on his face.
‘Morning,’ Molly replied.
When the train arrived, she followed him to a pair of empty seats.
‘I dreamt about you last night,’ she said as she sat down next to him.
He raised an eyebrow. ‘Was it another nightmare?’
‘No,’ she whispered. ‘I think we carried on what we started.’
He burst out laughing. ‘Was I any good?’
She shushed him. ‘I don’t know, I woke up before that bit.’
He sniggered and got his Kindle out. ‘What a shame.’
She got her book out to distract herself from the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. ‘It’s not funny. I can’t even escape you in my dreams.’
‘Do you want to escape me?’ he asked, then bit his lip. ‘I feel like I’m a bad influence on you.’
She shook her head. ‘No, don’t feel like that. We’d both had a drink and I know I kissed you. Thank you for stopping it, I mean us. I don’t know if I would have.’
‘I think you would,’ he said. ‘From now on, we keep our hands and our lips away from each other. And we don’t get drunk together. Deal?’
‘Deal,’ she said, but his words just confused her further. Why didn’t this make her happy? Being his friend was what she wanted, wasn’t it?
***
As they stood below the giant toucan outside her office, she turned to Chris.
‘Did you want to walk back to the station later? Can we be trusted to spend that much time together?’
‘It’s a risk I’m willing to take,’ he replied, before waving to her. ‘See you at five.’ He gave her a nod and walked away.
Molly walked into the lobby of her building, worried that everyone would somehow know what she had done at the weekend. In the lift she twiddled her coat button around her fingers, waiting until she could sprint to her desk and hide from everyone.
By lunchtime, she was feeling slightly more confident. She’d talked to Ed about her weekend and managed not to blurt out that she’d kissed her friend. Her phone buzzed, with a message from Saskia, letting her know that she was in the lobby. She left her desk, running towards the lift.
As she walked into the lobby, her sister was the first person she saw. She flung her arms around her.
‘God, I’ve missed you and it’s only been a weekend.’
‘Sounds like it’s been…eventful.’ Saskia slipped her arm through Molly’s. ‘Come on, let’s get some lunch and you can fill me in.’
Molly took Saskia to the café over the road from her office. ‘You have to try the hoisin duck wrap,’ she said as they browsed the giant fridges along the wall. ‘It’s the best.’
‘I’ll get these,’ Saskia said, taking the wrap from Molly’s hand. ‘You’ve treated me enough over the years. Go and grab that empty table.’ She pointed to the corner of the café.
‘Thank you,’ Molly replied, and quickly sat down at the table, putting her bag onto the other seat.
‘So,’ Saskia said, as she sat down opposite Molly. ‘I need all of the details.’
Molly took a bite of her wrap, while she decided what to tell Saskia. She swallowed and wiped her mouth with a napkin. ‘Why don’t you tell me about how the rehearsals are going?’
‘You know how the rehearsals are going, we speak at least twice a day. I need to know what happened when you saw Chris this morning.’
‘It was kind of normal,’ Molly lowered her voice. ‘I did have a sex dream about him last night though.’
Saskia cackled. ‘I knew you would. There’s something between you. Why won’t you admit it?’
‘There can’t be anything between us,’ Molly said firmly. ‘I’ve got a boyfriend, and Chris is my friend.’
Saskia’s eyes locked onto Molly’s. ‘Would you have kissed Chris if you were really that in love with Mark? And can you be just friends with someone that you’ve kissed? I understand a drunk kiss, but you both chose to do it again completely sober.’
‘The morning kiss was even better,’ Molly whispered. ‘It was so intense. I kind of lost myself in him. I’m literally the worst person ever, aren’t I?’
‘Nope. Mark has won that prize for the last four years in a row.’ Saskia cackled. ‘Look, if you want to be friends with Chris, that’s fine. I’m just worried about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt.’
‘I don’t want anyone to get hurt. So, I’m not telling Mark about the kiss and whatever feelings I have for Chris will just dissipate. It’s just a crush, it has to be.’ She pulled a plastic tub out of her handbag, passing it to Saskia. ‘I did some guilt baking last night. Here you go. Rocky road and chocolate cookies.’
Saskia took the tub from Molly. ‘You’re the best! You should cheat on Mark every weekend.’
‘Could you keep your voice down?’ Molly shook her head.
‘Sorry.’ Saskia winced. ‘I think a change of subject might be in order. Did you get your tickets for opening night?’
‘Bien s?r !’ Molly replied. ‘I can’t wait. It’ll be good to see Papa as well.’
‘It will,’ Saskia said. ‘I’ve invited Scott to come too.’ She flicked Molly a sly glance. ‘Who are you inviting?’
Molly rolled her eyes. ‘Sometimes you’re the worst. Neither of them. Papa hates Mark and will know instantly that something happened between Chris and I if I invite him.’
‘C’est vrai,’ Saskia replied. ‘I’m slightly afraid of introducing Scott to him. He’ll be analysing every movement, every word, every part of him. Should I warn Scott? I never tell people who Papa is, but should I give him a heads up?’
‘No,’ Molly replied hurriedly. ‘I think it might be best not to. It might make him anxious.’
‘Good point.’ Saskia nodded, then checked her watch. ‘I need to go.’
Molly stood up. ‘Me too.’
They walked back across the road together, arm in arm.
Outside her building, Molly gave Saskia a hug. ‘Thanks for lunch.’ She paused. ‘Tu me manques.’
Saskia smiled. ‘I miss you too.’
***
Chris flew through the door of Molly’s building, and out of the driving rain. Water dripped from the hood of his coat onto the doormat.
‘My goodness!’ the receptionist said. ‘You’re soaked.’
‘I forgot my umbrella,’ he said.
The cold was already penetrating through his coat. He usually had an umbrella. He was usually organised, but those two nights he’d spent in Molly’s bed had fried his brain and he couldn’t think about anything else.
‘You’re Molly’s friend, aren’t you?’ she asked. ‘I’m Sue. Do you want to borrow an umbrella? We have some spare ones.’
‘Thank you, Sue, that’s kind of you,’ he replied, ‘but I think it might be bit too late for that.’ He looked up as he heard footsteps behind him.
‘Oh my God!’ Molly’s hands flew to her face. ‘Are you OK?’
‘I’m a little cold,’ he replied, ‘but if we walk fast, I’ll be fine.’
Molly nodded and ushered him out of the door, waving to Sue as she went past the reception desk. He pulled open the glass door and Molly opened her umbrella.
‘Can you carry this?’ she asked. ‘You’re taller than me.’
‘Sure,’ he said, taking the umbrella.
She linked her arm through his and they hurried down the road to the station. Despite her heels, Molly kept up with his rapid pace. He was impressed. There was no way he’d be able to walk in them, let alone practically run.
They hurtled into the station, through the barriers and onto the train, scanning the carriages for empty seats. Locating two together, Chris offered Molly the window seat before sliding in next to her.
‘You look really pale,’ she said.
‘I’m fine, just a bit wet and cold. We’ll be home soon,’ he replied. The train was cold, and he couldn’t warm up, even though he was squashed up close against Molly.
She unwrapped the large blanket scarf she was wearing. ‘Put that around your shoulders. It’ll keep you warm.’
He took the scarf and wrapped it around himself. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re very welcome.’ She got her book out of her bag, and he did the same.
They were almost back in Canterbury when Chris started to see the flashing lights in front of his eyes that signified that a migraine was imminent.
‘Oh shit.’ He pinched his eyes shut as a wave of nausea washed over him.
‘Are you alright?’ Molly whispered.
‘It’s a migraine,’ he whispered back and opened his eyes, then rummaged through his bag. ‘I forgot my tablets this morning.’
‘What can I do?’ she asked.
‘Nothing,’ he whispered back, as the pain started.
His head felt like it was being squashed in a vice and he wasn’t sure if he was going to be sick or not. He laid his head back against the head rest and closed his eyes, smiling to himself as he felt her hand clasp his tightly.
When they arrived back in Canterbury, he stood up, fighting the nausea that was overwhelming him. Molly slid her arm through his and guided him off the train and through the station into the car park.
‘Can I give you a lift home?’ she asked as she pulled her car keys out of her bag.
‘I live five minutes away,’ Chris said, still shivering, the queasy feeling increasing as they walked through the car park. ‘I’ll walk quickly.’
She raised her eyebrow. ‘I don’t think so. Get in the car.’
He nodded. There was no way he would have left her alone in the dark. She was just looking out for him. He followed her to her Green Mini and directed her to his apartment building.
‘Thanks for the lift,’ he said when Molly stopped in the visitor parking space.
He pulled his keys out of his bag and unclipped his seatbelt, then got out of the car. The fresh air hit him like a truck and the pain in his head intensified.
Molly flew out of her seat, shutting the car door behind her and locking the door. ‘Give me your keys,’ she said, holding out her hand.
‘I’m fine,’ he mumbled, but he didn’t feel fine at all.
He took another step as the pain in his head increased, before sighing and giving her the keys.
‘Can you just help me to get inside?’ His clothes were soaked, and he felt so cold, colder than he’d ever felt before.
‘Of course,’ she said, taking the keys from him and sliding her arm into his, letting him guide her towards the door.
He pointed to the keys. ‘The square one for this door.’ He inhaled deeply. ‘The Yale key for the front door.’
She nodded and put the key into the lock. He walked up the stairs and along the corridor to his apartment.
Molly unlocked the door. ‘Do you need me to stay?’
‘I don’t think that’s a very good idea,’ he said, walking into his apartment and leaning against the wall.
He peeled off his coat, and threw it on the floor, groaning as it made a loud splat.
She took off her shoes and coat. ‘I’m going to do my bossy older sister thing and help you out, alright? Let’s go and get you some painkillers.’
He led her into the kitchen and got his medication out of the drawer, swallowing it with a glass of water.
‘You’re still cold,’ she said, pressing her fingers on his cheek. ‘Can you manage a shower?’
‘Yeah,’ he replied, nodding. ‘You’re not helping me with that.’
Even in his current condition, the idea of Molly in the shower with him made him smile.
She laughed. ‘I wasn’t going to offer.’
‘Make yourself at home,’ he said. ‘I’ll be right back.’
***
Molly picked up Chris’s wet jacket and ran her hand over the radiator. It was hot. She hung the jacket over it, then went into the living room, switching on one of the small lamps on the table next to the sofa, rather than the main light, knowing that Chris would need dim lighting when he came back. It was cosy, but in a different way to her living room. The walls were exposed brick, and the furniture was modern, but simple.
The floorboards looked pretty old, judging by the nicks and scratches in them, but they appeared to have been recently sanded and varnished. The curtains were open, revealing the original sash window and a view across the city. Her mouth fell open at the collection of books on the bookcase. One shelf held the whole collection of Inspector Rousseau mysteries, even the rare ones from the 1980’s. How had he managed to find them all? An oak coffee table was also covered with books. She picked up a book on the history of maps and flicked through it.
She heard the water running and decided to make them both a cup of tea, so she put the book down and went into the kitchen, running her hands over the wooden worktops which were immaculately clean. That must be Chris, she reasoned. There was no way Scott was that tidy. The cupboards were all painted pale green and there was a white ceramic sink just under the window.
She filled the kettle up and started opening cupboards until she found the mugs. On the worktop there were three glass jars, one with teabags, one with coffee granules and another with sugar. She made them both strong teas and added some sugar to Chris’s, then took the cups into the living room, putting his mug down while she sipped hers.
He came into the living room in pale grey sweatpants, like the ones he’d been wearing Friday night at her house, and she felt the warmth rising in her stomach again, the giddy thrill she got whenever she saw him, even more so as his hair was still slightly damp and his T-shirt was slightly too tight, revealing the curves of his muscular arms.
He sat down next to Molly, and she handed him the mug of tea. ‘I’ve added some sugar. It’ll help.’
‘Thank you,’ he said, taking the mug from her, and looking around the room. ‘How did you know I’d need it dark in here?’
‘My mum used to get migraines,’ she said. ‘The darker the better, right? Do you want me to switch this lamp off?’ Her fingers slid over the lamp next to her.
‘It’ll be too dark for you,’ he said, then sipped the sugary tea.
Her eyes locked onto his and she switched the lamp off. The room was plunged into darkness, punctuated by the faint glow from the streetlights outside.
‘I’m not afraid of the dark anymore,’ she said. ‘I’m braver now, thanks to you.’ She sipped her tea.
‘You were brave all along,’ he said. ‘You just didn’t realise it.’
Her breath caught in her throat. He was too humble, too kind. Too generous. She wished she hadn’t dragged him into her chaotic, messy life, but at the same time, she couldn’t imagine it without him in it. She put her empty mug down on the coffee table and rested her head back against the sofa. She could hear the sound of the traffic outside, and the rain lashing the windows, but she felt warm, safe, and content.
***
Molly opened her eyes and pulled herself upright on the sofa. She could just make out Chris’s face in the darkness.
‘I must have fallen asleep,’ she said.
‘Me too,’ he replied.
‘How do you feel?’ she asked.
‘Better,’ he said. ‘Hungry.’ He switched on the lamp. ‘Are you hungry? I’ll make us some dinner.’
She blinked a couple of times as her eyes adjusted to the light. ‘You can’t cook for me; you’re not well,’ she said. ‘I’ll cook for you.’
She studied his face closely. He didn’t look as pale, and the blue tinge had gone from his lips, although she didn’t dare look at them for too long. The memory of them pressed against hers was still too new.
‘I feel better than I did,’ he said. ‘Come on, let’s see what we can find to eat.’
She followed him into the kitchen, and he opened the fridge while she leant against the worktop.
‘I’ve got some leftover roast chicken,’ he said. ‘I can fry that with noodles, vegetables and make a miso broth. How does that sound?’
‘Delicious,’ she said. ‘How can I help?’
He got a glass dish covered with foil out of the fridge and started pulling vegetables out of the drawer, then handed her a knife and a chopping board.
‘You prep the vegetables while I shred the chicken.’
‘It”s your turn to be bossy,’ she replied. ‘I like it.’
He laughed and turned his attention to the chicken.
She washed and neatly chopped the vegtables, her eyes on him.
‘Thanks for helping me cook,’ he said as they sat opposite each other at the dining table, slurping their noodles.
‘I feel bad for making you cook,’ she replied. ‘You didn’t need to feed me as well.’
‘It’s late, and it’s dark and cold and I didn’t want you going home hungry,’ he said.
‘Well, I appreciate it,’ she said, twirling her noodles around on her chopsticks. ‘It’s so good. I didn’t know if you’d be comfortable with me being here.’
His eyes flicked up to hers. ‘Are you comfortable about being here? I said I wouldn’t kiss you again and I meant it.’
‘I’m not afraid. We’re friends, right?’ She took a spoonful of her broth and tried to calm her racing heart as her brain wrestled with what she thought she wanted him to say in response.
‘Of course we are,’ he said. ‘Nothing more than that.’
Why did it feel like being stabbed in the chest? This was what he should be saying. They’d both agreed it was a mistake that they were going to forget about. She turned her attention back to her noodles, afraid to meet his eyes. He knew her so well now. He would know what she was thinking, and she didn’t want to reveal her thoughts. It was too dangerous.
‘That was so good,’ she said, putting her chopsticks down in her bowl.
‘I feel a whole lot better now,’ he said, picking up her bowl and stacking it with his, then taking them into the kitchen.
‘I like your place,’ she said as Chris walked back in. ‘It’s beautiful. I love the old floors.’
‘You try sanding them,’ he replied, and leant against the table.
‘I have. We did our whole house,’ she replied.
‘Well, then you know.’ He smiled. ‘It’s bloody hard work. Scott and I bought this place when I moved back here and we completely renovated it, while we stayed with Mum and Dad.’
‘Is there no end to your talents?’ She raised her eyebrow.
‘Scott did a lot of it. He’s very good with tools. I just do as I’m told.’ He shrugged.
‘Sometimes,’ she said. ‘You were a little reluctant to accept my offer of help.’
‘I’m glad I did,’ he said. ‘I’m dry and warm, and full of dinner. Thank you.’
‘I didn’t do much,’ she said. ‘It’s nothing compared to what you’ve done for me.’
‘I’m not keeping score,’ he said.
She nodded and slid out of the bench seat. ‘I should go. It’s late and you need to rest.’
The doorbell rang, making them both jump.
‘I’ll be right back.’ Chris leapt to his feet and walked out into the hall, opening the front door.
Molly heard voices in the hall, and her stomach lurched. She shouldn’t be here. She was intruding on his life. She walked back to the sofa, and picked up her handbag just as Chris came in with a woman with dark curly hair, and bright, piercing blue eyes.
‘Molly, this is Anne, my mum,’ Chris said. ‘Mum, this is Molly.’
‘Lovely to meet you,’ Molly said. ‘I uh…was just going.’
‘Don’t rush off on my account,’ Anne said. ‘I’m sorry to burst in on your evening.’
‘Mum had a feeling something was wrong with me because I didn’t answer her call earlier, so she came to check on me.’ He smiled.
Molly turned to Anne. ‘Ah, you have your son’s perceptive nature then?’
‘Oh no, it’s just mother’s intuition,’ Anne said. ‘I’m glad you were here tonight, Molly. He’s not great at asking for help.’
‘I know,’ Molly said. ‘I had to practically force him into the car.’
‘I’m sitting right here,’ Chris said, shaking his head.
‘Sorry, love, I’m embarrassing you,’ Anne said. ‘I’ll leave you to your evening.’ She stood up and turned to Molly. ‘So good to meet you. We’ve got tickets to see your sister in Peter Pan, and Scott’s arranged for us to meet her afterwards.’ She smiled. ‘He seems really keen on her.’
‘The feeling is very mutual,’ Molly replied. ‘I’m so happy for them.’
‘I can’t wait to meet her,’ Anne said. ‘Anyway, I must go. I hope to see you again, Molly.’
‘Same,’ Molly said, swallowing hard. The fierce way that Anne cared for Chris reminded her of her own mum.
Chris went out into the hall with his mum. She tried not to listen to their conversation, but the sound echoed through the thin walls. She heard her tell Chris that she was worried about him getting hurt, and he reassured her that he wouldn’t. It was the exact same conversation that she had had with Saskia.
‘Your mum’s so sweet,’ she said when Chris returned.
‘She’s great, but she worries too much,’ he said.
She smiled. ‘I know I would be like that if I had kids.’
‘I’m sure you would,’ he said. ‘I know I’m lucky to have a mum like that. I was worried she would start asking you awkward questions.’
‘Well, it looks like we escaped that one,’ she said, wondering whether to tell him that she had overheard them talking.
‘We did,’ he said. ‘Do you want a cup of tea?’
‘No, I should go,’ she said. ‘You need to rest. How are you feeling?’
‘I feel fine. I’m just going to go to bed and sleep it off,’ he said. ‘I’ll walk you down to your car, hold on.’ He pulled on a jacket and a pair of trainers, then grabbed his keys and opened the door. ‘After you.’
She followed him down the stairs and into the stillness of the night. The rain had stopped, but the scent still hung in the air.
‘Thanks for dinner,’ she said.
‘Thanks for looking after me,’ he replied, giving her a smile that didn”t quite reach his eyes.
She drove home, still feeling the sensation of his face against hers, the soft swirl of hair that had brushed her cheek, the hint of stubble on his face. He was perfect. Too perfect for her. He would never cheat on his girlfriend. She sighed and drove home. When she let herself into the dark house, her mobile started ringing. Her heart leapt into her mouth as she pulled it out of her pocket, wondering if it was him ringing.
No, it was Liz.
‘Hello darling, how are you doing?’
‘I’m good, how are you?’ Molly replied.
‘I’m fine. I’m just checking in. Have you spoken to Chris?’
Molly cleared her throat. ‘I’ve just got back from his flat, where we had a civilised dinner together as friends. Nothing else.’
‘And that’s what you want?’ Liz replied.
‘That’s what I want.’ Molly said firmly. It was so easy saying it, it was a lot harder believing it.