Chapter 29
I snuggled Ares against my chest, his small body warm and impossibly light as he slept in my arms. I didn’t know when I would hold him again after tonight, if it would be in a few days or a few months.
Or maybe never at all, depending on how everything played out.
His tiny fingers curled against my shirt, his breath coming out gentle and even against my collarbone, utterly unaware of what was about to happen. Of what I had to do.
The thought lodged itself somewhere behind my ribs, digging in with hooks I couldn’t pry loose to save my life, until breathing felt like the hardest thing I’d ever done.
I had to look away to stop the tears from coming.
My gaze lifted to Trace as he stood quietly by the window.
He turned the moment he felt me looking, the moonlight filtering through the glass behind him and silvering the curve of his shoulders, his blue eyes instantly finding mine across the room.
Whatever he saw in my face made his jaw flex and his hand twitch at his side as though it were taking everything he had not to cross the room and pull me into him.
I gave him a small smile, not wanting to worry him any more than I already knew he was.
Then my eyes slid to Dominic, his attention already fixed on me from where he leaned a shoulder against the doorframe, both his hands buried in his pockets.
He looked deceptively relaxed despite the unease radiating through our bond, but I knew he was just as troubled as Trace was. He was just better at hiding it.
Neither one of them had strayed more than a few feet from me since I’d come downstairs with Ares.
They’d been holding their positions on either side of the room as though they were standing watch over me, as though they expected me to come undone at any moment and were determined to be within arm’s reach when I did.
Of course, I wouldn’t have expected any less from them.
They were my anchors long before the Roderick sisters ever made it official.
They had always been the ones to moor me to solid ground when everything else felt like it was slipping out from under me.
I wasn’t sure where I would be without them, but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be any place good and honestly, I hoped I’d never have to find out.
In the meantime, I was going to need to lean into their strength and draw in every ounce of their conviction that I could do this.
Because I had to.
So we waited together, listening for the sound of footsteps on the stairs that would mean it was time to say goodbye.
When we’d ported back earlier tonight, I’d hoped Tessa had been given enough time to come to terms with what was coming and steel herself for what needed to happen next.
I should have known better.
She had been waiting to hear her fate, pacing in the living room with Ares fussing in her arms, her eyes glassy and anxious as she searched my face for answers.
Answers about whether the barrier had come down and about whether she still had to leave, or if somehow, miraculously, we could all stay together.
I laid it all out for her as simply as I could, telling her everything that had gone down at the edge of town.
About disrupting the barrier's frequency and Caleb’s replacement section, and about the small window of time we had before the Council noticed something was wrong.
I told her that she needed to leave tonight, before dawn broke and our chance at getting her out without notice disappeared right along with it.
Of course, she’d fought me on it. My sister had never been good at backing down from a fight, and this was no different.
She’d argued that we should all go. That splitting up was suicide, that I was being stubborn and reckless and throwing my life away for revenge that wouldn’t bring our father back.
That if I really cared about keeping Ares safe, I’d come with them.
I’d help protect him instead of staying behind to wage a war I couldn’t win.
She wasn’t wrong about any of it.
But she also couldn’t see the full picture.
Running wouldn’t save us. Not in the long run.
The Order had reach that extended far beyond Hollow Hills’ borders.
After everything my father had done to keep us hidden, to keep me safe, they’d found him anyway.
And they’d find us too…eventually. The only way to truly be free of them was to make sure they couldn’t come after us anymore.
And that meant I had to stay.
The argument had gone in circles for what felt like hours before Gabriel finally stepped in.
He cut through our raised voices with that careful cadence of his, pointing out what we both already knew but didn’t want to say out loud.
That Tessa staying put me at risk. That her presence gave the Order leverage they’d use without hesitation.
That the best thing she could do for me, the only thing that would actually help, was to get Ares and herself somewhere safe and let me do what needed to be done.
She’d hated it. Hated the situation that forced her to choose between protecting me and protecting Ares and her unborn baby. Hated me for putting her in that position. And hated Gabriel for backing me up on it.
But eventually, she’d relented. Because despite my sister’s stubbornness, she knew it was the right thing to do.
And then I’d asked Gabriel to go with her.
That request had surprised everyone, especially Gabriel. But it was the right call, even if it hurt to make it. He was the only one I trusted to keep them safe, the only one with enough tactical knowledge and unwavering loyalty to get them somewhere the Order would never find them.
Of course, he’d tried to argue that I needed him here. That leaving me to face the Council without my Handler was leaving me unprotected and abandoning his duty, but I’d reminded him that I had Dominic. And Trace. And Jaqueline, for whatever that was worth. And that Tessa and Ares had no one else.
He’d finally agreed. Not because the choice sat well with him, but because he understood that Tessa and Ares needed him more than I did and that keeping them safe was just as important as keeping me alive. Because Gabriel had always understood, even when I hadn’t wanted him to.
Once the argument was settled, all that had been left to do was to make the arrangements.
Dominic took care of that part while Tessa went upstairs to pack her things.
He’d called in another favor. One more name added to the long list of people who owed him enough not to ask questions.
He’d secured them a safe place far away from here.
Far enough that the Order’s reach wouldn’t extend easily.
Far enough that Tessa, Gabriel, and Ares could disappear without a trail.
I didn’t know the specifics. Not the location or the name of Dominic’s contact or any of the details that might become dangerous if things went sideways. You know, like if the Order caught me and decided that torture was an acceptable method of extracting information.
All I knew was that Gabriel would get them there. That they’d be protected and they’d be safe. And for now, that was all I needed to know.
A creak on the stairs pulled me from my thoughts.
Tessa appeared at the top of the staircase with two duffel bags and a backpack slung over her shoulders.
She’d changed into dark jeans, her combat boots, and an old brown leather jacket that had seen better days.
Her short hair was tucked behind her ears in a way that suggested she’d done it without thinking, her face pale and drawn in the dim light.
“Is that everything?” asked Trace, already moving toward the stairs to meet her.
He reached for the duffel bags without waiting for an answer, sliding them off her shoulders and onto his own in one fluid motion.
“Everything I could fit,” said Tessa, her voice deflated. She descended the stairs behind him, her eyes never leaving Ares in my arms. “How is he?”
“He’s still sleeping.” I carefully adjusted my hold on him, doing my best to memorize the feel of him in my arms. To memorize the way his little chest rose and fell against mine, the soft sound of his breathing, the barely-there dimple in his chin.
“He’s been really good. He didn’t even wake up when I changed him an hour ago. ”
Tessa reached the bottom of the stairs and stopped, her hand gripping the banister as though she needed something to hold onto. Her eyes stayed locked on Ares before lifting to meet mine, brimming with everything she couldn't yet say. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“You can,” I said gently, knowing it in my heart.
“I don’t know how to be a mother, Jem.” Her voice cracked on the last word. “I don’t know how to keep him safe. How to—”
“You’ll figure it out,” I said, my throat aching around the words. “The same way you figured out how to keep me alive all these years. You’re the strongest person I know, Tess. You always have been.”
She shook her head, tears threatening to spill over the edges of her lashes. “That was different. You had no one. You were my—”
“Responsibility,” I finished for her, my voice barely above a whisper. “Just like Ares is now. I know you’ll protect him the way you’ve always protected me. Fiercely and stubbornly. Because that’s who you are, Tess.”
Her jaw trembled as she fought to hold herself together.
Dominic caught Trace’s eye and gave a subtle nod toward the door.
Trace hesitated for just a moment, his gaze lingering on me before he turned and headed outside with Tessa’s bags.
The front door eased open and shut behind him, leaving the three of us in a silence that felt almost too full to breathe through.
“Gabriel is waiting out front,” said Dominic, his voice low. “You have fifteen minutes to get to the barrier to meet with Caleb. Once there, he’ll drop his section to allow you both through and then raise it again before anyone’s the wiser.”