Chapter 4
Icleared my throat. “Justin, what are you doing here?”
His eyes were blazing. “You know exactly why I’m here,” his voice could’ve cut glass.
A few kids playing in the street stared at us. I’m sure if I looked real hard, I’d find more eyes behind windows.
I stepped back and ushered Justin in. “Come in. You stand out like a sore thumb outside.” Oh my god, was that a Mercedes in the street? “I hope you don’t have any valuables in there,” I mumbled and shut the door.
Justin looked ridiculous standing in the entry way that also made up part of the living room. His eyes swept the area, touching on the worn orange couch and crooked side table before settling back on me. The pissed expression never leaving his face.
“What is this?” He lifted his arms.
“’This,’” I mirrored his gesture, “could mean anything. Care to be more specific?”
I should’ve been more concerned about why he was here, but a sick part of me was thrilled.
In fact, the way my nonchalance made his jaw tick and nostrils flare was fascinating.
Maybe my panic attack had triggered a stroke.
“You live here?”
“Obviously.”
“Alone?”
The platoon of footwear off to the side of the front door was testament that I didn’t. “No.”
“How many people live here, Katie?”
I crossed my arms over my chest, realizing too little too late, that I was in an oversized clearance school shirt I’d picked up from the bookstore my freshman year.
I wasn’t wearing a bra underneath. It was too fucking hot for that torture device, and it wasn’t like my boobs were anything to write home about.
The shorts I wore were barely visible under the baggy shirt and Justin’s eyes did the same sweep of me that they did of the Ramirez’s house.
His gaze felt like a physical touch against my too hot, and now too sensitive skin.
“Do you have a reason for being here, Justin?”
His eyes lingering on the blue and gold print scrawled across my chest, before sliding down to my bare legs.
Even from ten paces away, I could see his jaw clench.
I remembered his words from the cellar, the same carnal look on his face. I wanted him to touch me.
My attention drifted to his hair, where not one strand was out of place. I wondered if it was as soft as it looked. I wondered what he looked like when he woke up in the morning after a wild night of sex.
I hastily looked away, focusing on the hand painted cross on the wall.
Not proper familial thoughts, Katie.
“You would rather suffer in silence than let anyone help you.”
His words snapped my attention back. “What?”
“The money, Katie. I know you somehow managed to get out of receiving it.”
I drew back. “How do you know that?” I’d literally gotten off the phone with the financial office to-day.
“I knew you were stubborn,” he ignored my question, “but I can’t for the life of me figure out why you’d be willing to chop off your nose to spite your face.”
“You stopped those payments. I’m not going to play whatever twisted game you’ve got planned.”
“Twisted game?” A moment later, he shook his head.
“The missed payment. That’s how you found out I was the benefactor.
” His arm moved like he wanted to run his hand through his hair, but at the last second, he held himself back.
I silently goaded his arm to disobey him and ruffle his hair.
He let out a slow breath. “It was a glitch, Katie. The payments were never supposed to stop.”
“You mean I was never supposed to find out about them. About you. I don’t want your money,” I bit my tongue to keep from calling him Daddy. My perverse mind wanted to see the way his eyes flared.
“It’s my money, Katie. I can do with it as I please.”
“I don’t want it. I don’t want anything to do with you.” I lifted my chin into the air, trying to feign an air of sophistication in my ratty outfit.
Something hard came into his eyes, his long, powerful legs eating up the space between us. He invaded my personal space, his hard body trapping me against the front door. “Are you sure about that?” His voice sounded like sin. Dark, delicious.
My breathing hitched, my heart rate tripling. “Definitely.” His scent tickled my nose, spice and chlorine. The images of him in the pool were back, but this time with much less clothing than before.
Which made him naked. He was naked in my mind’s eye, and wet.
And now so was I.
That infuriating smirk was back, his face so close to mine I could see different shades of blue in his eyes. “Liar,” he whispered.
The air thickened around us. He either needed to step the hell away from me right now, or kiss me.
I wasn’t sure which one I wanted more.
Yes, you do. And it’s wrong.
I needed to get my head in the game. I needed to get Justin Kingston out of my life. For good.
Maybe with a goodbye kiss?
A one and done?
If I satisfied my twisted curiosity, would I finally be rid of this attraction?
“I don’t expect you to understand,” I swallowed my pride, I smothered my logic, and went for it. “Daddy.” To hell with this afternoon. I’d been lying in bed waiting for my heart to explode, my mind a never-ending carousel of scenarios. For once, I wasn’t going to question myself.
I saw the exact moment the word penetrated. A tick in his jaw, a flash in his eyes. He was as turned on by it as I was.
It should’ve repelled me, instead it enthralled me. But at least I wasn’t alone.
Misery loved company, and if I had to suffer through this shameful attraction, then so could he. It’s not like it was going to last or go anywhere.
“I earned my way through this life. You’ve never had to earn anything,” I continued my dig, waiting for the chain of control to snap. Wanting it to snap. I wanted him to feel as unhinged as I did. Hanging on by a thread.
Slake the curiosity and then it’s done.
Like writing a program, once it was finished, it could run along. Pun intended.
Justin’s eyes narrowed, and he did the exact opposite of what I wanted. He pulled back, taking the heat and scent of his body away from me.
“Juvenile insults don’t become you,” he scolded, and my irritation rose another notch, not because he’d refused my bait, but because his response made my skin tingle.
This was no boy before me. Justin was one hundred percent man.
And it was sexy as hell. He wouldn’t stoop to my games, and disappointment and admiration warred inside me.
“For some reason,” he continued, “you’ve painted me a villain. I can understand lingering bitterness, but not this level of contempt. I’m not the villain here, Katie. Despite whatever misconception you have, I care about you. It never sat right with me what—”
“You can spare me the guilty father speech.” I didn’t want to hear this, it was bad enough I’d had to relive my past with Zoe. I was done picking at this old scab.
He ground his teeth. “You’re not alone, Katie. You don’t have to be.”
The words grated, because that’s exactly what I was. Alone. Abandoned. Unwanted.
Thanks to my mom. Thanks to him. Suitcases and suitcases filled with baggage that I got to carry around because of my childhood.
“Sorry to shatter whatever illusion you’ve constructed for yourself,” I forced past the lump in my throat, “but we’ll never be a perfect family.” My gaze dropped to the front of his pants, where I could see an unmistakable bulge.
And because I wasn’t feeling particularly mature at the moment I added, “Daddies don’t get hard thinking about their precious little girl.”
The tension in his body radiated outward like a magnetic field, drawing me in. God, why was he so intoxicating?
“Is that what you are,” his voice dropped low, “my precious little girl?”
The words shouldn’t have made me shiver, but they did, a dull throb starting between my thighs. My taunting was backfiring. Big time. He hadn’t taken the bait before, why now? He was the one that was supposed to be disgruntled, frustrated, on edge. Not me.
“I’m not your anything.”
“Do you want to be?” he was back invading my space.
I could hardly breathe. I wanted him too much. It scared me.
I’d never craved anyone like this. I wasn’t an experienced lover. I preferred solitude, sitting behind a desk and talking to a man via chat. While I’d had a few flings, if I’d known this was waiting for me out there, I’d have stepped outside to touch grass a hell of a lot more.
“N-no,” I hated that I trembled with barely suppressed desire.
“Mmm,” the thoughtful sound in the back of his throat resonated like a growl. “I’m not leaving until we’ve reached an agreement.”
“What kind of agreement?” My mind shot straight to the gutter.
Justin remained unfazed—or at least he appeared it on the outside. I bet if I ran my hands down the front of his body, I could get his control to snap. I could end this dark desire burning up inside me.
“I want you to be my employee.”
“What?” My head snapped back.
“A paid internship. You’ll work at my clinic for one quarter. It’ll cover the rest of your tuition. You’ll earn it, all on your own.”
The 180 made me dizzy.
Damn him. I wanted to refuse, but as he’d so kindly put earlier, I’d already chopped off my nose to spite my face. This would border on self-mutilation.
I could live with earning my keep. I worked hard. If he wanted to pay me more than an average intern, then who was I to stop him?
On the flip side, I’d be thrusting myself into Justin Kingston’s presence on a daily basis. I’d be tying myself to him and the reminder both he and my mother had turned a blind eye on me when I’d needed them most.
I really wanted to finish my degree. Did I dare throw my hat in with Justin?
I already knew there would be no internship on the boards Zoe sent me that would cover my tuition.
It was the perfect scenario and he knew it.
He’d figured me out, I couldn’t say it felt good to be so transparent.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t get a reading on him.
Conceding my defeat, I nodded. However, there was one thing I needed to clarify for myself.
“Tell me, what kind of coffee do you drink?” It was the closest I’d ever let myself get to asking him outright if he’d read my letter all those years ago.
Surprise flickered across his face, his brow crinkled. “Black. Why?”
I knew it was coming, but for some reason, even after all these years, it still stung. “And my mom? Did she ever drink black coffee?”
I could see the confusion taking over his face.
No normal person would know where this line of questioning was going, but in my head, it made perfect sense.
I needed to solidify in my brain what I’d known all this time.
Justin never wanted me, and despite whatever weird chemistry there was between us, I had no right to be this attracted to him.
It was stupid and illogical, and my afternoon of insanity had come to an end.
Time to get back on the proverbial horse and get my life back on track.
Time to stuff all these forbidden thoughts back into whatever box they’d jumped out of and let them rest in the back of my mind for all eternity.
“No, she usually had a smoothie in the morning. Green.”
Of course she did.
“What does this have to do with anything?”
“Nothing. I’ll take the job.”
He studied me, perhaps I wasn’t as transparent as I thought. It was a mild comfort.
He took out a business card and handed it to me. “This is my information, text me a start date and I’ll get all your onboarding ready.”
I wanted to pat myself on the back when my fingers didn’t tremble as I took his card. I slipped it into the back pocket of my shorts right as Justin’s warm hands curled around my upper arms.
He gave one tug and I stumbled into him, hyperaware of the way his hard body brushed against my sensitive nipples.
I thought I heard him groan, but we were spinning, the heat of his hands gone seconds later.
Blinking, I realized he’d simply moved me away from the door.
But the air between us still hung heavy with tension.
“And this?” I swallowed the hot ball of desire in my throat and gestured between us.
Way to keep that forbidden box closed for all eternity.
His face went flat. “There is no ‘this.’” He left without a backwards glance.
I kicked myself.
I’d tipped my hand, and now he knew I felt something.
Damn.
One quarter, that’s all it would take, and then I’d never have to see Justin Kingston again.
I stalked back to my bedroom where I locked the door to take care of the ache between my legs. All the while cursing his name.