Chapter 20 #2
“Excuse me?” I rip my eyes away from Killian to find Allie looking at me.
“Killian. He rarely knows what’s good for him, he’s reckless, living on the edge of life and death like he doesn’t care if he lives or dies, but the fact he’s found you tells me there’s a shred of self-preservation left in there somewhere.
He hasn’t had it easy, I don’t know a lot about his past, in fact I know nothing.
Nobody does. He keeps his cards close to his chest but I think for you, he’d let you see them. ”
I look over at Killian, unable to stop myself. He’s still watching me and my breath locks. The pull I have to him is something I’ve never felt before. “He’s not at all what I expected.”
“These men rarely are. I hated Myles when I first met him. He was arrogant and annoying as hell but as I got to know him I realised he wasn’t at all like I thought. He was thoughtful, funny, caring and before I knew it, I’d fallen in love with him.”
She looks across the room then and smiles, a blush blooming on her cheeks. I follow her gaze to find Myles’ heated stare fixed on his girl.
Shelley slaps her hand on her thigh, stealing my attention. She leans forward, peering around Allie to look at me. “Okay, girl. Spill.”
“Spill what?”
“Don’t play dumb, babe, it doesn’t suit you,” Fi says with a smirk. “We want deets. Every juice delicious one of them.”
“What’s going on with you and Killian? Because he hasn’t taken his eyes off you since you walked in,” Shelley points out.
I can always tell when he’s watching me because the hairs on my body stand on end, as if I can somehow sense when his eyes are on me. And those hairs haven’t settled since we arrived at the clubhouse and I have a feeling she might be right.
A little while later, the women have all dispersed, leaving me sat on the sofa on my own, but I don’t mind. I enjoy people watching.
Fi is now sitting on Mac’s lap across the room while he kisses her neck, making her giggle and squirm.
Allie is enveloped in Myles’ arms as they band around her from behind, laughing as he whispers something into her ear.
Shelley is playing pool with her brother, Alex while Cruiser watches her closely, his eyes rarely straying from her and I have to wonder if there’s something going on between them.
Jade is in one of the bedrooms in the back having a lie down, exhausted from having to haul a tiny person around in her stomach.
Ray, the oldest member of the club is sitting beside his wife, Rita, the matriarch I’m certain all the men are secretly afraid of.
Apparently, she’s not adverse to whipping their asses into shape on occasion.
The boy, I’m assuming is Myles’ son, Kit based on the fact he looks like a mini version of his dad is playing darts with Drew.
Jett is sat on a stool at the bar talking to the Allie’s mom and Beau, the other prospect for the club.
They’re one giant family.
It’s crazy to think just a few weeks ago these people were strangers to me. Men I hated based on beliefs belonging to my father. I never would’ve thought I’d be sitting here in a position where I called them friends.
“You good, butterfly?” Killian asks, dropping down onto the sofa next to me, his thick thigh brushing mine.
I smile. “I’m good. You?”
“I’m perfect. Still can’t get over you bitch slapping Collins. Would’ve paid good money to see that.”
I giggle. “It did feel pretty good.”
“Seems we’re rubbing off on you.”
“In more ways than one…” I mutter.
Killian’s about to respond when we’re interrupted when Myles addresses the room.
“Okay, everyone!” he calls, his voice filling the room.
The music volume is turned down and the chatter ceases.
“You all know how much this woman means to me and I feel like the luckiest bastard on the planet to be able to call her mine.” Myles turns to Allie, cupping her face in his hand. “You are all of my love. My entire life and I cannot wait to call you my wife. You’re my ride or die, pix.”
They kiss and the room erupts in wolf-whistles and claps.
Swoon.
I tear my eyes away, the flutter of butterflies in my belly at seeing them so in love stirring something inside me.
I want a love like that.
“Why d’you do it?” Killian asks, and I lift my eyes to his as he tips his head towards my wrists I’m rubbing absentmindedly with my thumb, the marks still visible and sore from where the handcuffs bit into my skin earlier.
“Jett and Cruiser were gonna be arrested for something they didn’t do s—”
“Why d’you really do it?”
“I overheard my father and the sheriff talking at Thanksgiving, discussing how to destroy the club.”
Killian’s jaw ticks.
“As soon as Collins came into the clubhouse I knew it was my father’s doing so I said the drugs were mine.
My father wouldn’t want it coming out that I’d been arrested for possessing drugs, it would’ve caused a scandal.
It would’ve tainted his precious reputation if it went public, so he’d have no choice but to let me go.
He was the one behind Allie being suspended and I know he’s not gonna stop any time soon.
I don’t know why he has such a huge stick up his ass where the club’s concerned, but I’m not gonna stand by and watch him try to destroy you. ”
His eyes linger on me, flicking between both of mine with an unreadable expression.
“What?” I ask, my cheeks heating under his gaze.
A soft smile pulls at the corners of his mouth. “Just when I think I’ve got you all figured out, butterfly, you go and do something that surprises me.”
There’s no point in denying this pull I have towards him anymore and before I can talk myself out of it, I’m leaning forward, but instead of meeting his mouth, he angles his face away at the last minute and my lips connect with his bearded cheek.
I rear back. A hot flush of humiliation sears my skin, spreading up my neck and setting my cheeks alight.
I go to speak, but words fail me. I slam my mouth shut, trying to process what’s just happened.
“Wow. Um… Okay…” I clear my throat, not sure where to look, all I know is that there’s no way I can look him in the eye after that. “I’m uh, I’m gonna go.” I’m on the move before the last word has even left my mouth and he doesn’t try to stop me. He doesn’t call my name or even come after me.
Why does that hurt so much?
“Kaia?” Fi calls my name as I hurry past her, bursting through the door without a backwards glance.
My feet are moving so fast I’m practically running home. It’s cold as shit out tonight and I’m not wearing a coat, the ice-cold air prickling against my heated cheeks, humiliation burning through me.
Why the hell did I do that?
I force back the wave of tears threatening to spill over. I must’ve read it wrong. Killian’s not interested in me and I’ve just gone and ruined it.
When I finally make it home, my fingers are numb and my nose is so cold it could snap clean off.
I slip inside and hurry through the house before I’m forced to face either of my parents.
I lock myself in my room, crashing face down onto my bed and bury myself in my sheets, wishing a hole would open up in the middle of mattress and swallow me up.
My mind returns to what just happened and a whole new wave of mortification hits me head-on like a freight train.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed in my life. I’d rather be forced to strip naked and run through the centre of town for everyone to see than feel the embarrassment of being rejected like that. Even then I might be able to hold onto a shred of dignity.
But who am I kidding? He’s Killian fucking Hunt, he’s not interested in girls like me, why would he be?
But he let me ride on his bike, a little voice inside my head tells me and I have to remind myself to stop reading into things that mean nothing.
And the truth is, I mean nothing to Killian Hunt.
Nothing.
How did I get it so wrong?