Chapter 26
I wake to the stillness of Killian’s darkened bedroom, the only light seeping through the crack in the curtains across from me, casting the room in soft shadows.
The other side of the bed is cold, perfectly made like it hasn’t been slept in and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed to find him not there.
The bed sheet covering me has slipped down my body, the cool chill in the air has my exposed nipple and I shiver from the cold. My fingers brush over my breast and I’m hit with the memories from only hours ago, remembering how good Killian’s hands felt on my body. Exploring. Teasing.
Worshipping.
I felt so high I swear there was no way I’d find my way back down. He drew sounds out of me I never knew I could make. Had me feeling things I’ve never felt, but above all, he made me feel safe.
No one’s ever made me feel truly safe before.
I reach for my phone on the nightstand. It’s three in the morning and I squint against the harsh light from my phone.
I have a string of messages from Fi asking if I’m okay, one from my father telling me to come home.
I make a mental note to text Fi back first thing in the morning while opting to ignore my father.
It’s the message from an unknown number that spikes my pulse.
What the fuck?
I send off the message but it fails to be delivered. Instead, I hit the call button, waiting for the dial tone that never comes. All I get is an automated message to tell me the number is not available.
Figuring it’s some silly joke from one of Killian’s ex-lovers, I toss my phone back onto the nightstand and roll over onto my side, bringing the sheet up to my neck as the pull of sleep has my eyes drooping closed.
Just as I’m drifting off a sound has my eyes snapping wide open. It’s faint, so quiet and so brief I’m not even sure I heard it at all. Maybe I just imagined it?
I hear it again and I bolt upright.
It sounded like a moan.
I climb out of bed, fumbling around in the dark for Killian’s t-shirt lying discarded on the floor and tug it over my head.
Leaving the room, I pad across the landing in search of Killian. A door to the right is ajar and that’s when I hear the moan again. It’s a tortured moan, one of pain and fear.
The door hinges let out a little squeak as I push it open, stepping inside the room.
It’s a small box room with nothing in it except a compact dresser under the window and a thin single mattress on the floor pushed up against the wall where Killian lies on top.
What is he doing sleeping in here?
“No. Stop,” he mumbles, his body twitching and jerking in his sleep, his mind trapped in a bad dream.
“Killian?” I go to him, dropping to my knees beside him.
Next to the mattress is a small lamp placed in the floor. I flick it on, bathing the room in a soft orange glow, allowing me to see him clearer.
His face screws up as if he’s in pain, sweat beading along his forehead. “Stop,” he pleads again and my heart squeezes.
“Killian? Killian, wake up, it’s me.” His skin is hot and clammy to the touch as I place a gentle hand on his arm.
His eyes dart open, void of recognition as his hand cuffs my neck. He drags me down onto the mattress, flipping me onto my back. He straddles me, his knees either side of my hips, caging me in as he towers above me.
“Killian!” I shout, fighting against his iron grip but he doesn’t let up. It’s like he doesn’t see me, the look of pure hatred on his face tells me he’s seeing someone else. Someone in his head.
His grip tightens around my neck and for a split second, I think he’s going to kill me.
“Killian, please stop!” I plead, clawing at his hand, desperately trying to peel them away from my throat. “It’s me, it’s Kaia!”
At the sound of my name, he seems to snap out of whatever daze he’s in. The hatred hardening his features melts away as both recognition and realisation sets in.
He rips his hand from my throat and tears himself away. He stumbles backwards and slams up against the wall behind him, his eyes wide as he stares at me.
I cough, rubbing at the soreness of my neck as I gulp for breath, taking in deep gulps of air as my heartbeat slowly begins to steady.
“Oh my God, Kaia… I—I’m so fucking sorry,” he pants, staring down at his open palms in horror like he can’t believe what he’s done.
“I—It’s okay,” I lie. It’s definitely not okay.
“I didn’t know it was you, I thought… fuck.” Combing his fingers through his dishevelled sweat-soaked hair, he keeps his eyes firmly on the carpet like he can’t bring himself to look at me. “Are you okay? Did I… Did I hurt you?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Don’t lie to me. Did I fucking hurt you?”
“You snapped out of it before you could. I’m alright.”
He doesn’t seem convinced by my answer.
“Are you okay? I heard you from next door. You were having a nightmare.”
In a split second, the look of vulnerability on his face is gone. It’s like he’s pulled a mask down over his face. It’s hardened. Guarded.
He swallows hard. “I’m fine.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No,” he snaps. “Go back to bed.”
“Sometimes it helps to t—”
“Kaia, go,” he repeats firmer, cutting me off.
After a moment, I push myself off the ground and walk out the door despite everything inside me telling me to stay.
I’ll let him have this one. This one time to push me away because there won’t be a next time.
He saved me, now it’s my turn to save him.
The next morning, I find Killian in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee.
His eyes lift to mine briefly, they’re heavy, the dark circles telling me he got about as much sleep as I did, meaning none. “Morning.”
I lean on the kitchen island opposite him. “Morning.”
“Did you sleep okay?” he asks, pouring another cup and sliding across the marble counter towards me.
I take a sip of the scolding liquid. “Not great, actually.”
He nods knowingly. “Me neither.”
I never managed to get back to sleep after I left Killian last night. I tossed and turned all night, praying sleep would find me, but it never did.
He crosses the space between us, and tilts my chin up, examining my neck.
There’s no bruise, I already checked in the bathroom mirror this morning, all that’s visible is a faint red mark on the right hand side of my throat where his thumb was.
The bruise Daniel left on my cheek, however, has darkened overnight, but nothing a little concealer won’t cover.
His curses under his breath as he backs away, running his fingers through his beard before the same fist slams against one of the kitchen cabinets, making me jump.
He braces himself against the counter and drops his head, blowing out a long breath.
“I’m just as bad as that piece of shit who marked your face. ”
“You’re nothing like him. Do you think I’d be here with you if you were?”
My words do little to ease him.
He closes the space between us, tucking my hair behind my ear, his fingers light and gentle as they brush my skin. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
I cuff his wrist with my hand, stroking the inside of his wrist with my thumb. “It’s okay.”
He cups my cheek. “I will never hurt you like that again.”
“I know you won’t.” I lean into his touch. “Listen, could you do me a favour?”
“Sure.”
“I need to pick up some stuff from my house. Could you drive me there? Fi texted me this morning and she said I can crash at hers for as long as I need.”
It throws him off balance, a flash of hurt crosses his face, like the thought of me leaving pains him. He rips his hand away from my face, the loss of his touch is instant.
Ask me to stay, I want to say, because as kind as my best friend is offering to put me up for a few nights, I’d rather stay here with him.
“Yeah. Of course,” he finally says and my heart sinks like a lead weight into my stomach.
We pull up outside my parents’ house. The first thing I spot is my father’s car parked on the driveway and my mood instantly sours. I had hoped he’d already left for work so I wouldn’t have to face him, knowing the shit storm I’m going to be walking into when I cross the threshold.
“I’ll be right here if you need me,” Killian reassures, as is sensing my unease.
I give him a small smile as I climb out of the truck and head up to the front door of the house.
“Kaia?” my father’s voice echoes through the hallway as the door closes behind me. Ignoring him, I head for the stairs, taking two at a time.
The quicker I’m out of here and away from my father the better.
I reach my bedroom, quickly changing into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before shoving a handful of clothes, together with any toiletries and makeup I’ll need for the next few days into my suitcase.
The same suitcase it feels only five minutes since I was unpacking from college. So much has happened since I got back.
I give my room a final once over, making sure I haven’t forgotten anything before leaving. My father is waiting at the bottom of the stairs, my mother appearing from the living room to join him.
His eyes travel down to the suitcase in my hand before back up to meet mine. “And what’s this?”
“This is me leaving. I’m done. I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff when I’m settled.” I move for the front door.
“Leaving?” my mother asks. “Where will you go?”
“You’re sure as hell not staying with Killian Hunt,” my father snaps.
I whirl around. “And what if I was? I feel a damn sight safer with him than I did here yesterday.”
“What exactly is that supposed to mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. I begged you to not make me go with Daniel to that ball. I told you he tried to hurt me and you still made me go.”
He sighs like he’s bored. “You’re being dramatic.”
“He tried to rape me!” I shout, causing my mother to gasp. “Is that dramatic enough for you? What about the bruise he left me, huh?” I point to the mark on my cheek. “Is that me being dramatic?”
His jaw tightens. “Do not raise your voice to me, Kaia.”
“I will if it makes you listen. You’ve done a lot of things that have hurt me, to try to control me, but last night, I lost any remaining respect I had for you.
I can take being a disappointment, I can take being called the horrible things you’ve called me in the past. But you forced me to go to an event with the man who tried to violate me.
I’m your fucking daughter! For once I just wanted you to be my dad,” my voice cracks, my eyes burning with tears, “I wanted my dad to protect me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
For you to love me and accept me for who I am and the choices that I make for my life.
To love me for me.” My eyes then move to my mother.
“I wanted a mom who stands up for me, but you’ve never taken my side.
Not once. You stand by and watch the way your husband treats your daughter and you say nothing, just like you are now.
I don’t want to leave, this is my home too but I can’t take it anymore. ”
I’m crying now, and so is my mother. It’s a strange sight because I don’t think I’ve ever seen her cry. My father on the other hand is his usual emotionless self.
“Kaia, don’t go,” my mother pleads. She looks to my father, waiting for him to say something. “Peter, do something.”
“Don’t bother. You haven’t lost me, not yet, but keep pushing and one day you will lose me forever.”
My mother rushes to me, bringing me in for a hug and I stiffen. I stand there frozen, not sure what to do because I can’t remember the last time she hugged me, I can’t remember the last time she showed even an ounce of motherly affection towards me.
I clear my throat. “I have to go, Killian’s waiting for me.”
“He’s no good for you Kaia,” my father warns.
“Killian’s never hurt me. He’s never called me the horrible things you have, and he’s never once tried to make me into something I’m not.
He’s loyal to his friends, and despite pretending he doesn’t, he cares.
Deeply. Believe what you want about him, but right now he’s one of the few people I trust.”
“You have no idea who he is, the things he’s done. He’s a criminal.”
I pick up my suitcase. “I don’t care about his past, or why he went to prison, all I care about is right now. And right now, I want to be with him.” I turn for the front door.
“He’s a murderer, Kaia.” My father’s words make me stop. “He murdered his mother’s boyfriend.”
I didn’t spend seven years in prison for nothing… Killian’s words from last night echo through my mind.
“Then I’m sure he had a good reason.”
My father is stunned into silence and without another word from me, I head for the front door, pulling it open to find Killian standing on the doorstep.
He takes in my heavy, red-rimmed eyes before looking over my shoulder to where my parents are watching, then looks back at me, his brow pinched. “You okay?”
“Get me out of here,” I say wearily.
He plucks my suitcase from my hand and places the other on the small of my back, but his eyes return to my parents once more. “Like I said last night, Watson, it’s my job to take care of her now.”
I don’t miss the smirk he gives my father as he slams the door shut behind us. When we reach his truck, he tosses my suitcase in the back before holding the passenger door open for me, then jogs around to the driver’s side and climbs in beside me.
“Nobody’s ever done that before,” Killian says before starting the engine.
“Done what?”
“Stuck up for me,” he clarifies, his eyes finding mine. “I heard you through the door. I don’t give a shit what your father thinks about me, but it felt good all the same. So, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
I glance back at my parents’ house, my stomach twisting as I reach back for my seat belt.
“Don’t go to Sofia’s.” Killian’s voice has my head snapping in his direction. “Stay with me.”
It’s not a question, it’s a request.
My heart skips a beat in my chest and there’s no point fighting the smile that pulls at my mouth as I fix the seat belt into the buckle. “Okay.”