Chapter 50
“Butterfly, we’re here.”
I stretch, blinking open my eyes as we pull into Killian’s driveway. My head rests on his shoulder, my cheek glued to his leather jacket while his hand rubs lazy circles over my thigh.
I right myself, my joints sore from being tied to a chair most of the morning, my neck stiff and my eyelids heavy with fatigue.
I don’t even remember falling asleep, but as soon as I climbed into Killian’s truck, I felt an overwhelming sense of ease, relaxing instantly to his close proximity, melting into his touch.
After killing the engine, he leads me inside his house and I curl up on the sofa while he heads into the kitchen to make us both a coffee.
Returning a few minutes later, he hands me a cup, then drops onto the sofa beside me. He takes a sip of his own before setting it down on the coffee table.
“So…” He scrubs a hand over his beard. “A baby…”
“How did you find out?”
Naylor’s mention of the baby didn’t come as a surprise to Killian earlier, almost like he already knew.
“Sof told me. She didn’t want to. Said it wasn’t her place but when we found out Naylor had taken you, she thought I ought to know. The guys also know.”
Seriously? “I could rip her big fat mouth off her annoyingly flawless face, but I’m too exhausted to be angry,” I sigh. “Question is, how do you feel about it?”
“I mean, I’m good if you wanna rip her face off, I’ll gladly have a front row seat to that,” he jokes.
I laugh, swatting his chest with the back of my hand, making him chuckle. “You know what I mean.”
His smile slowly fades as his expression turns serious. “Gotta admit it shocked the hell out of me. Never thought having kids was on the cards, wasn’t even sure having kids was for me.”
My heart deflates and I force back the sting of tears burning in my eyes, my nails digging into my palms as I will myself not to cry.
I know what’s coming. He doesn’t want to do this with me. He doesn’t want children. And as upset as I’ll be, I can’t hold it against him or blame him. It’s not like we ever discussed what our future would look like and whether children would be a part of that future. We never got that far.
“But now it’s all I can think about,” he adds.
My head snaps up, my eyes finding his, the soft expression on his face settling all my doubts.
“As soon as Sof told me, I had flashes of what our life could look like together, as a family. It felt right. Like everything was falling into place.” He places a hand on my belly and I cover them with mine. “I didn’t think it was possible to love something you’ve never even seen.”
“Killian…” I whisper, a tear spilling free.
He takes my hands in both of his and places them on his lap.
“Hurting you is the biggest regret of my life. You owe me absolutely nothing and I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I’ll beg for it if I have to.
But I want this, butterfly. I want to have this baby with you and raise it together as a family.
I wanna take care of you both, if you’ll let me. ”
A sob slips free and my face drops into my palms. I don’t know what to say. I’m so overwhelmed by what he’s said, the words just won’t come.
“Kaia? Baby?” He leans in towards me. “Do you not want me anymore? Have I lost you?” I don’t miss the waver in his voice.
“No… I…” I sniff, lifting my head to meet his gaze.
His brow creases as he searches my tear-filled eyes.
“I don’t want to be apart anymore. I want you, Killian. I want this with y—” I don’t get to finish my sentence because it’s swallowed up when he claims my mouth with his.
And just like that, all is well in my world. Everything else falls away because I’m here, the man I love is kissing me, his hands cradling my face like I’m the most fragile thing he’s ever touched, but his kiss is deep and passionate like he can’t get enough.
He breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against mine while he catches his breath. “I’ve missed you so much, butterfly.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
“I can’t promise I won’t fuck up every now and then, ‘cause I probably will, but I’ll do my best to never let either of you down.” He releases me, reaching into the inside pocket of his kutte. “Here,” he pulls out the bracelet he gave me for Christmas, the one he made me.
I shoot him a questioning look. “Have you had this on you the whole time?”
“Been carrying it since the moment you took it off, ready for when I could give it back to you. I would’ve waited a lifetime if I had to, because life is meaningless without you.”
I hold out my arm, allowing him to unclasp the bracelet and place it around my wrist.
Once it’s secured, he covers my hand with his.
“I thought I lost you today. Fuck, when I found out Naylor had you…” He squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head like he can’t bring himself to think of what could’ve happened.
“I woke up in that house this morning, and all I kept thinking about was how much I wanted you, and if being tied to that chair was going to be my last moments alive, I needed you to know how much I love you.”
“I do, butterfly. I fucking feel it. Never felt anything like it and I hope you know how much I love you too. These past weeks without you have been torture. My body wouldn’t working right, like half my heart was missing and it was, because it’s always been yours.”
“And yours has always been mine.”