Chapter 17
“This was dangerous,” Dylan said when it was clear all the traps were sprung and I was about to leave.
I gave him the look he deserved. “Yeah, of course, as opposed to being the Deputy Director of ISLE.” I felt better when a few people snickered. “Because otherwise I sit around and count my toes. I mean, I’m not already a councilwoman, billionaire, high up in a huge corporation or—”
“Right, yeah, point made,” he grumbled as he glanced around at all the people watching.
Which mattered to him. His standing with them or whatever.
His desire that I not embarrass him in front of them.
I swallowed a snort and walked away. So he wasn’t standing off to the side simply watching me anymore, but he was still fucking up and not giving me what I needed.
Whatever, not my problem.
“The wolves weren’t involved,” Rita told me. “We received word from Councilwoman Watson on the side that they took the threats of that ancient seriously and weren’t coming for you. However, she couldn’t get us word sooner that there was a leak to your address. Not with the eyes on her.”
I snorted. “And she probably knew it was a trap and didn’t want to risk my plan.”
“That was the impression I got, yes,” she confirmed, patting my arm. “The meeting wasn’t as big of a mess as you think. Really, it wasn’t. I agree that a lot of long-term wins probably will come from it.”
I nodded and thanked her before heading out, ignoring that Aidan probably wanted to catch me too. There was one thing I needed to handle and get off my conscience before I dug into the next part of my life to hopefully fix more than I broke.
The human was beyond shocked to find me waiting for him at his vehicle after his shift. Then anger filled his eyes as he glanced around and stormed down on me.
“I talked to the friends I told you about,” I told him in way of greeting as I handed him a piece of paper.
Well, the twins had on my behalf, but I’d gotten word that they were more than willing.
“They know a good club that one of them works at and needs security.
Clock in and clock out, but the pay is a living wage.
“It’s not forever, but he said the music drowns out the noise of his past and he can sleep easier.
” I nodded when the guy swallowed loudly.
“You can crash with him for a month while you find your own place and they have a few leads if you want the help, but if not, that’s cool too.
And yes, they do accept strays into the group. It’s how the group formed.
“If nothing else, call. Please. Talk to any of them listed. They immediately said to give you their number, and even if you don’t want to move, maybe they know someone closer or could get you to the right people.
” I swallowed loudly when he still hesitated.
“They’ve been where you have and come out the other side.
Isn’t that worth this one last push of hope? Please?”
“Yeah,” he said so quietly that a human might not have heard him. He took the paper with a shaky hand. “Why me?” He met my gaze and saw too much. “I heard you were out—gone as fast as you came in and people were pissed. Why come back for me?”
I took in a slow breath and let it out. “Because you were worth taking the time for. Someone saw that in me and I found the strength to reach out for that hope.” I nodded to the paper.
“Don’t break my heart, and be strong this last time to keep fighting.
You made it this far. Don’t let the assholes win when you deserved better. ”
“Thanks. Really.”
“Good luck.”
“I won’t ever see you again, will I?” he hedged, his desires turning to interest in me as a woman.
I gave him a sad smile. “My dance card is full, but honestly I’m not in much better of a spot than you. We would drown trying to help each other. Go find an amazing woman who can help you not dump water on your head trying to stay afloat.”
“Fair.” He let out a heavy breath. “I hope he heals you.”
I slowly nodded knowing I was going to talk about the twins together as if one person. “He’s helped me see I do more than I thought and it’s okay to let people support me. For now, that’s a lot and I’m trying to do better in it.”
“That’s all we can do and I hope it works out for you,” he said as I walked off.
Me too. It was nice he said it though, especially when I took the time to help him. It really was.
Oddly enough, not a lot of people did even when I spent so much time worrying and caring about them. People could be so inherently selfish that it was hard not to give up on them as a whole.
Or just life in general.
Mason was actually still working on cleaning up my mess when I arrived home, and I didn’t want to disturb him, so I just went to bed.
I woke a bit later… But didn’t.
I was so used to the dreamscapes now that I wasn’t worried or scared, but it had been a bit, so that threw me. I blinked around and couldn’t hide my shock as I took it in.
Honestly, it looked like an Instagram photo shoot of someone bragging about their Valentine’s Day. Not so cheesy, but it was perfect like that.
I found Evan standing off to the side watching me carefully. “What is all of this?”
“What we had ready for you on the 14th,” he admitted, nodding when I did a double take. “It wasn’t just our stuff we were trying to get with you about, Jasmine.”
I felt small. “I ruined all of this? My first Valentine’s Day?”
“And ours.” He winced when I quickly wiped tears. “Oh, love, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“I should,” I rasped and curled into myself. “I’m fucking up all over the place and don’t deserve such nice things. I threw a fit no one wanted to do anything for me now that I could finally have lovers like normal and then I ruined it all.”
I wasn’t sure which of us was more shocked when I really cried. Not ugly crying, but I was crying. It wasn’t only tears running down my cheeks.
I was crying.
He hugged me and whispered that he was sorry. That he was a brat and thought only about his hurt feelings instead of asking why I was being so closed off. That it hurt when I ran and didn’t want to deal with things that were hard and they’d been patient with me. This time it hurt.
“I’m sorry, really sorry,” I rasped over and over again, choking it out a few times, especially when he mentioned how much Mudbug missed me.
Now I was a bad dog mom on top of it. I really was and hated myself for it. I’d messed up all over the place.
Then suddenly Mason was in the dreamscape with us and he was not happy.
“How are you even here?” Evan whispered as he held me tightly.
“Don’t ever doubt my abilities when it comes to my feelings or desires to protect her,” he told Evan. “And I would explain myself quickly if I were you before I cut this connection so it can’t ever happen again.”
“That’s not possible,” Evan argued.
“Watch me,” Mason chuckled darkly.
“I deserve it,” I defended. “He’s allowed to tell me when I mess up and hurt him.”
“No, not like this, and—it’s different in dreams and with magic,” Mason argued. He was furious when I looked at him. “He could have sat and waited in the house like normal, but this was your guys’ special safe space. You shouldn’t hurt here.”
“That’s not—” Evan started to defend.
“I felt it pulsing from her,” Mason snapped. “Pulsing. Depression and grief like…”
When I broke.
Evan swallowed loudly. “That wasn’t what I meant to do.
You came in here with me comforting her and telling her things were okay.
Clearly, this is about more than her and I—stop interfering in our relationship, Mason.
There are things you do I’m not a fan of either, but it’s for you both to work out. ”
“That’s not—”
“Don’t test me either, kid,” Evan snapped and then Mason was thrown out.
I blinked at where he’d been and then up at Evan in shock. “Whoa.”
“Yeah, well, I’m no slouch either. I haven’t been trained as he was blessed to get with his lineage and all of that.
And he keeps making me feel like I’m emotionally abusing you and he’s fucking perfect.
Enough.” He framed my face with his hands and gave me a soft kiss.
“I need you to talk to me more, Jasmine. You ran. Again. I’m chasing. ”
I opened my mouth to argue that I didn’t run, but… “I hid for the moment. A few or a bit.”
“Fair. Very fair and even progress. Sort of.”
Yeah, sort of.
“Talk to me, love,” he practically begged before sneaking another kiss.
And then I chased his lips for another.
Then we both came back for another.
“Wait, wait,” he breathed against my mouth. “I want more than your body and even the intimacy we share in here, Jasmine. I want… I want the bad and the pain of you too. I want to share mine with you and—”
“I want all of that too,” I promised him as I kissed along his jaw. “And I’ll tell you everything. I’ll tell you anything and let you see me choreograph and not just dance this time. I’ll let you help me pick songs—”
“I want all of that, but I cannot think when you’re doing this,” he… Complained?
“Please?” I begged, completely and maybe a bit pathetically begged as I pulled away and took off my clothes. “I need to know I didn’t ruin this.”
Worry filled his eyes and he moved over me. “I’ve been a total git if you think that is remotely what—”
“No, no, I’ve just ruined too much lately and I need…” I frowned. I wasn’t sure there was a good way to say it and not make it worse.
That I was worth being loved? Feeling good after fucking up so bad?
Being treated well and treasured after I’d done such wrong?
“You are too hard on yourself and all I can think of is you,” he muttered before burying his hands in my hair and attacking my mouth. He kissed down my body and said what I needed to hear even if I had been too scared to say it.
Yes, I was worthy of being loved. I was easy to love and good at my core.
No matter what I’d done, we all fucked up, and that didn’t change that I had the right intentions. That always mattered, and it mattered a lot to him.