Chapter 11 #2
He glanced at his friend who was using the bag next to him. Since they had returned the week before, he hadn’t tried to ask Kade anything. Hadn’t accused him or tried to kick his ass. It was making him nervous. His friend was mad. He knew that. But he was holding back.
“I could kick your ass any day of the week.”
Mal scoffed. “You? You’re afraid of a little woman.”
The area of the gym where they stood went silent. Kade glanced around at the other SEALs. They were watching them as if a show was about to begin.
He turned back to Mal. “What did you say?”
Mal rolled his shoulders. “You’re afraid of Shannon.”
There were a few whispers as he felt his temper rising. “Did she tell you that?”
“No, but she did call you a pig-headed idiot, or something like that. She didn’t have to tell me. I could see you running away from her.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“Gladly. If you can stop being a pain in the ass to everyone here.”
Kade glanced around at the crowd that had gathered and realized that some of the guys were shaking their heads. He could feel anger whipping through him, crawling into his head and taking control of his better judgment.
“You itching for a fight?” he asked. He was ready for it, needed it, craved it. He took a step toward him.
“McKade! Dupree! ”
They both turned around to find the leader of the group staring at them. Fuck .
“My office, now.”
Without a word between them, they pulled off their gloves and followed the Lieutenant Commander to his office.
“You two want to tell me what the fuck is going on?”
Neither of them said a word.
“I can’t have my men fighting like a bunch of idiots.
We’re still trying to piece the group back together, and you two have to act like ten-year-olds on the playground.
I really don’t want to do the fucking paperwork involved if I have to discipline.
Can you assure me that you will behave like SEALs from now on?
I would hate to transfer one of you out of here. ”
Kade knew without a doubt it would be him. He was trying to recover, and Mal was in working order.
They both nodded.
“Dupree, you can go.”
His friend tossed him a sympathetic look. When the door shut, Markinson said, “Sit.”
Shit, this was going to take a while. They were never offered a seat unless it was going to be a long chat. Still, he did as ordered, fighting the pain that shot through his leg.
“McKade, I know that we don’t do the feeling thing.
We’re men, and worse, we’re SEALs. But you have got to get the bug that crawled up your ass out of there.
From the moment you came back from leave, you have been a pain in the ass.
For me, for everyone around you. I thought you would at least be relaxed after a week in New Orleans.
You were worse. We’ll be on active status again, and I need to know that I can count on you. The men need to know.”
“I’ll be ready. ”
He sighed. “I don’t want to know what you’re feeling, seriously. But, you were closed off for so long, and now you’re bitching at everyone. Yes, I used the word bitching. You got in a fight with Smith because he didn’t load his weapon right. It’s like you’ve lost your center.”
The moment Markinson said it, the image of Shannon came to his mind.
She always centered him. Even before they were involved, he could chat with her as a friend and feel his life get back on track.
She was the one thing that he needed to make it work, and he had pushed her away.
No wonder he’d been acting like a raving lunatic. Without Shannon, he had no compass.
“Are you listening to me?”
He blinked at his commander.
“Uh, yes, sir.”
“I understand what it’s like to lose someone. I was in Fallujah as you know. So…it was bad. But, you have to work through it. Go see a doctor, get some meds.”
Fuck . What a great time to figure out that pushing Shannon away was what had left him screwed up. The mission had been painful, losing his friend bad. It was the worst. Or he thought. Now that he didn’t have Shannon, he didn’t think straight. He couldn’t even work through his emotions.
“Permission to be excused, sir.”
Markinson stopped in mid sentence and looked up at him.
“I was talking here, McKade.”
“I understand. I just figured out what I needed to fix something.”
He continued to study Kade. “Okay, but just know I need you one hundred percent by the end of four weeks.”
Kade nodded. “Oh, and I need to take off a week.”
“What? Another one?” he asked, almost shouting.
“I just figured out what I needed. ”
“And it takes you a week to fix it?”
“No. It will take me a week to persuade her to take me back.”
Understanding filled the commander’s eyes. “You got it. Good luck.”
With more purpose than he’d felt in months, he walked out of the office and walked down the hall. Mal stepped out of the locker room.
“Look, Kade, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have picked that fight with you. Did Markinson bust your ass?”
“No.” He started toward the door. “Can you take me to the airport?”
“Wait. What?”
Kade hurried down the stairs and ignored the chill in the air and pain in his knee. Now that he knew what he wanted to do, where he wanted to be, he needed to get to Shannon now.
“I’m flying to New Orleans.”
“Why?”
“To get on my knees and beg.”
“Shannon isn’t there.”
He stopped in his tracks and looked up at Mal. “Where is she?”
“Hawaii. She left a couple days ago to spend some time with Jocelyn.”
He huffed out a breath. “Okay, I need to move some money around, and then I’m flying to Hawaii.”
Mal shook his head. “Do you know what you’re doing?”
“Yeah, dammit.” He started walking again. “I’m going to get my woman.”