Chapter Eight
Angelica
I usually jolted awake from a less than satisfying slumber, all the worries and responsibilities of the day weighing me down from the moment my eyes opened. It had been like this for so long that this morning, when I woke gradually from a deep, dreamless sleep, I was confused at first.
Had I taken an especially strong sleeping pill?
And then I shifted, and my nether regions twinged in a way they hadn’t in a very long time.
Oh…Oh my god, that’s right.
Embarrassment chased joy as I remembered the unhinged way I’d both seduced Trey and let him seduce me.
Had I really asked how his lube tasted? Had that been me on my knees, blood burning with need for his body?
I rolled over and the ache was proof positive that I had. It wasn’t unpleasant, more like I’d had a very hard work out the day before.
Well…I suppose I had.
I snorted a laugh and reached over, expecting my hand to collide with a warm, hard body and only finding the cold, empty bed. My eyes, only half open up to now, focused on the place he’d slept next to me and I ran my hand over the spot. The mournful disappointment of his absence stabbed at me, the first unpleasant sensation of the morning.
Just a fuck…that’s what I’d said I’d wanted. And that’s what he gave me.
It had taken some convincing to get him to sleep next to me last night, Trey pointing out that a fuck didn’t necessarily equate to cuddling. To which I pointed out that what little I knew about fuck buddies, I could guess that they at least spent the night.
When he’d slid into the bed next to me, I’d almost asked him to hold me, but as much as I wanted that, we’d already blurred the lines plenty and I needed something to keep a boundary between us. So I’d kissed him good night and laid on my stomach, trying to fall asleep with him next to me as if it was completely normal to do this after such an intimate act. It wasn’t until his hand trailed up and down my spine, soft, soothing, that I was able to let go and allow sleep to take me. I drifted off to his deep voice murmuring something in my ear that I couldn’t recall this morning. Only that it had spread like warm syrup through my veins, and that I’d smiled.
And now, staring at the spot, my hand splayed there like I was searching for a crumb of his presence to cling to, I wondered what it would’ve been like to wake up next to him.
Snap out of it. This is what I asked for and it’s good that he’s respecting it. The last thing I need is another entanglement with a Supernatural being .
The last image I had of David, bloodied and dying, his body scarred and weak, assaulted my thoughts. I jumped back, the memory causing physical pain and sapping the bliss lingering from last night.
I knew plenty of Mundane females in happy relationships with Supernaturals. But after David, I just didn’t think I was destined to be one of them. Even if Trey did care for me, he was embroiled in the politics of his Draconian kingdom. I’d just be trading the travails of a Celestial-Mundane hybrid for the dangerous drama of a Draconian royal. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been tempted to give in to my attraction to him before he’d left a year ago. Knowing his true identity, the responsibilities that he now carried, that should’ve been more than enough to make me run the other way now.
But we’d been dancing around the growing inferno of passion between us for a long time, and I was tired of fighting myself. I could have this one thing and not give in to the rest. I deserved passion and the hazy forgetfulness of post orgasmic delight. It might even be just the thing to relax me enough to have better rest, something I had sorely needed since becoming Director of the Archive.
And then I realized that this had a definite expiration date. A creeping sense of disappointment and dread began to spread in my chest.
He’ll be going back to his kingdom after this, and I’ll go back to the Archive. That will be that. Our itch scratched, friendship intact, my heart safe.
I was a damn artist when it came to lying to myself. I could create the most outlandish painting of an untruth and somehow convince myself that it was fact. I’d been doing it for most of my life to survive David, and now the Archive.
I tried to do the same here to staunch those uncomfortable emotions. But this time, there was something missing. Instead of warm strength coursing through me as I shored up my weaknesses, I was left cold, drained. An ache spread through my chest, dragging up the memory of what it felt like to be in Trey’s arms last night.
He’d unleashed all his obsession on me, making me feel treasured and unbelievably sexy. I’d let him eclipse all my worries, everything I should’ve been thinking of, and gave in to the unhinged way he made love to me.
And as much as I wanted to think of it as a fuck, it wasn’t. As I turned on the shower, I found myself completely incapable of seeing it in the shallow, though pleasurable, way I’d wanted to last night.
His touch had been too reverent, too consuming to be anything less than an expression of his feelings for me. I couldn’t stop replaying every moment, every word whispered onto my skin. Instead of washing my body, my hand slid down to my shockingly wet folds and I touched myself to the memory of his mouth on me. The way he’d kissed and sucked, with adoration and hunger, as if I were a queen and he was lucky to be letting me fuck his face.
Every memory was so visceral that it was like he was there, kneeling in the shower. Instead of my fingers, it was his mouth, his tongue, his long, strong fingers plunging into me.
“Trey,” I gasped, as I thrust against my hand.
I shouldn’t want him to be here so badly. I should’ve been sated after last night but it was like that taste of passion had opened a floodgate of wanting that I hadn’t known existed. Now, I was addicted to it.
I could see him looking up at me, his eyes lighting up with blue fire like they had last night. He’d give me that bad boy grin, the one that always made heat curl through me at the worst times, and then he’d held eye contact as he fingered and licked me to completion.
I actually fucking mewed as I slumped against the wall of the shower, the orgasm literally weakening my knees. A thick, warm sensation flooded my veins, and I grinned up at the ceiling.
It had been difficult for me to come for the last five or six years, ever since menopause had come and bitch slapped me. But in the last twenty-four hours, Trey had managed to do what I hadn’t in a very long time: give me three of the most incredible, delicious orgasms of my life.
Four now really, because there’s no way I could’ve had that without him.
I’d started to think that I should end this after last night. He’d opened me up too much, left me tempted this morning to throw caution to the wind.
But there was no way in hell I was going to let go of having this pleasure. Maybe it was that damn aphrodisiac on his dick, maybe it was addictive, maybe it was still in my system.
Maybe, but I don’t care.
I deserved pleasure after all the pain. I deserved this one selfish act before risking my life again to save my family.
And if he was willing to give it with no promise of anything after, then I would take it.
My steps skipped down the stairs, stomach growling as I smelled coffee and bacon in the kitchen. There was an unashamed grin on my face as I breezed into the kitchen, my body lighter than it had been in a very long time.
I had told myself that I didn’t care if my children saw my morning after euphoria, they’d just have to deal with it.
But I hadn’t quite prepared for Alexis.
“So,” she slid next to me at the counter where I was pouring a cup of coffee, “good night last night?”
For such a little woman, she packed a punch in everything she did.
Including poking into other people’s business.
I wanted to ignore the question by asking where the others were, when Nathan, Tessa and Max walked into the kitchen.
Max eyed me with an enigmatic frown while Nathan pinched his nose like he had a headache.
“Good morning,” Tessa said, her voice a little too brittle, like she was trying hard to be ‘normal’.
“Morning,” I said, pouring creamer into my coffee.
The kitchen became silent with Alexis’ eyes on me over the rim of her coffee cup, Max grabbing dishes out of the oven where they’d been keeping warm and Nathan awkwardly trying to be useful by pulling plates out of the cupboard. Tessa, on the other hand was fluttering around like she didn’t quite know what to do with herself. All three of them weren’t looking at me so hard that it was obvious they wanted to.
“Okay,” I said, putting my cup on the counter, “this is the one and only time I’m going to talk about this.”
“Yes!” Alexis said.
“Please don’t,” Nathan groaned at the same time.
“You don’t have to,” Tessa followed up.
Max just turned to look at me and crossed his arms over his chest.
I took an ill-advised gulp of hot coffee and then breathed.
“I’m an adult,” I began, my brain freezing up as I realized what I was talking about with my children. I cleared my throat, took another sip of coffee and straightened my shoulders. “And I…um…I have…needs…”
Nathan choked on a glass of orange juice, and Max’s eyes widened as he blushed.
This was a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be.
“Alright, that’s not…” I tried again, now wishing the coffee had whiskey in it. “What I mean to say is, what I do with another adult is none of your business.”
“Oh, thank god,” Nathan said.
Alexis’ shoulders deflated and Tessa’s tense smile relaxed. Max was the only one who still looked like he was intensely uncomfortable. When Nathan, Alexis and Tessa walked into the dining room with plates and food, Max stayed behind, fidgeting with his hearing aid wire.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked.
Max looked at me and exhaled slowly through his nose. He had always been the quietest, most sensitive of all the kids. And as such, I had a feeling his wounds from David’s abuse were of a different nature than the others.
“Are you safe with him?” he asked.
My chest tightened and tears momentarily burned behind my eyes. I put my hand on his enormous bicep and met his gaze.
“He risked a lot to save me in London, and every time there’s been any kind of threat to me, he’s been there, putting himself between the danger and me.”
“But…”
“He’s not your father. He would never hurt me.”
Max swallowed and gave me a sharp nod.
“Come on, I would like to get some food before Alexis eats it all.”
That made Max chuckle and shake his head affectionately.
“How are things between you two?” I asked as Max grabbed his protein shake out of the fridge.
“So you won’t tell us anything about your love life but you expect me to unload?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m your mother.”
Max laughed again.
“Things are…good.”
“Why the hesitation?”
“She doesn’t want to get married.”
“And you do?”
Max nodded.
“I know it’s just a piece of paper but…I want it. I want to belong to her, and I want to officially adopt Cory.”
Cory was Alexis’ nephew that she’d raised since he was a toddler. Max and Cory had grown very close and it didn’t surprise me in the least that he wanted to be Cory’s father in every way.
“You’ll work it out, that woman adores you,” I said.
Max’s eyes glittered as he glanced toward the dining room.
“Yeah, I know. I just need to be patient.”
“You two better get in here before I eat all the bacon!” Alexis called.
Max rolled his eyes and laughed. They were such opposites, Max with his healthy, quiet life style. Alexis with her junk food addiction and need for noise. Yet they found a way to make their differences meld together and form something beautiful.
If they can do it, maybe…No, stop. Not the same thing.
When I walked into the dining room, I noticed that Trey, River and Derek weren’t there. Tessa, ever the observant one, noticed my frown as I looked around the table and filled me in.
“River took Derek into town for PT before you all head to the mines, and Trey left a note saying he went for a morning flight.”
I nodded and helped myself to some food.
“How long do you think it will take to translate the symbols in the journal once we have it?” I asked.
“There was a security breach in my main server last night,” Max’s tone was murderous. “It wasn’t for very long, and it looks like they were just poking around. When I examined the breach this morning, they’d made it look like a tabloid, but it was too…neat to be that. I’m scrubbing the server and we’ll have to use one of my remote networks, so it’ll be slower.”
I didn’t even need to ask who he thought it could be. Obviously, Viktor had the resources to hire tech specialists same as the Archive did. He’d certainly been our equal with technological advances in the field, even reverse engineering some things he’d stolen from us. Still, it irked me that he was able to access all the resources of his rogue organization and I couldn’t use my own without tipping off the Archive. If they knew what I was doing, there’d be a hearing, meetings to decide if I should be replaced, all while they juggled who would spearhead the investigation. And by that time, Viktor might have the sundial.
But I do have a team. Even if I didn’t want to bring them into this, my family is stepping up. I shouldn’t feel guilty about that, but I do.
I must’ve somehow been telegraphing what I felt because Tessa’s had covered mine and she squeezed it gently.
“You know none of us would be doing this if we didn’t want to, right?” she asked.
I smiled at her but didn’t say anything, somehow doubting my children would’ve said no to me about something this consequential.
“Mother,” Nathan said when a few minutes passed and I still hadn’t responded, “she’s right. We want to help you, we’re glad you came to us.”
I swallowed and tried to work some moisture into my mouth. My eyes snagged on one of Derek’s canes sitting by the hutch in the dining room, memories of that day when his power had been ripped from him assaulted my mind.
“I brought Archive trouble here,” I finally said, my voice brittle. “Even knowing how Derek and River would feel. How Max would feel. It’s dangerous, and I hoped that I’d be in and out before Viktor had a chance to find you but now…”
I gestured to Max and shook my head.
“Mom,” Max said, “I’m fine. In fact, I’m kinda enjoying this. Not everything about my time there was bad.”
“You were all living your lives, safe from this kind of trouble until I got here.”
Nathan snorted.
“We are Celestials, Mother. Do you really think there’s any corner of this world we could go that some kind of danger wouldn’t find us? All of us except Derek are basically walking demon magnets for Christ’s sake. This Archive shit? It’s a blip, a minor inconvenience compared to some of the things we’ve dealt with since the second Battle of Silver City.”
“And if they do decide to come here,” Alexis said with a hard grin, “they’re going to wish they hadn’t. I’ve got some new toys I’m dying to try out.”
“So in other words,” Tessa finished, “from one mom of a Celestial to another, cut the guilt bullshit. You’re family, and we’re here for you. Whatever it is.”
“Here, here,” Nathan said, raising his coffee up in salute.
Tears burned my eyes as I looked around at each of them, knowing that what I had here, in this moment, had almost never happened. We’d come so close to losing one another so many times. It was a miracle, pure and simple, that all of them were alive and happy.
I need to trust what they’re saying, and let go of this as much as I can.
I’d never be able to move past all of the regret I had; there was simply too much of it that was unequivocally my fault. But I could let go of enough of it to accept their help and not let it eat me up inside.
“Alright,” I cleared my throat and smiled at them. “Any word from your contacts at the magazine, Tessa?”
She shook her head.
“No, but our reporter said his source does have something for him, they just haven’t sent us the information yet. I’m expecting it any minute now.”
“And Interpol has nothing that would match what we’re looking for,” Alexis chimed in around a mouthful of biscuits. “But, I do have a contact with the black market that told me that some of his usual clients have disappeared, and these aren’t beings that are easy to just make disappear. My thought is that they got recruited by Viktor.”
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
“There’s no evidence of foul play, and none of their people are out looking for pay back. Also, these are the kind of Supernaturals that would probably love sticking it to the Archive. I’m waiting on confirmation though.”
Once again, stuck waiting.
I munched on some bacon, brow furrowed, as I tried to think of anything we were missing.
“You know,” Tessa said, “it’s been wonderful seeing you again. Even under the circumstances.”
It snapped me out of my melancholy, and I refused to allow the guilt of not appreciating this moment with my family to grab hold of me.
“Thank you.” I squeezed her hand. “It’s been too long since we were all together and you’re right, it is wonderful to see all of you.”
“We understand, Mother,” Nathan said, with a gentle smile. “You’re busy.”
I nodded but the words irritated me, a grain of sand in the simple reasoning that I’d used to justify being away.
I was protecting them.
I was protecting the world.
It was important, no one could be trusted with this job.
Those reasons had been a compass, guiding me clearly, comforting me when the necessary sacrifices had felt to be too much. But sitting here, surrounded by my family, seeing Nathan light up talking about his twins, watching Max soften and open himself up a little more every day to Alexis. Seeing Derek carve out a life for himself in defiance of the trauma he lived with every day. Ava’s continued victories over her alcoholism as she embraced her power unashamedly. All of these things dragged at me like never before, calling to me that I could have a different life. For the first time in a very long time, my family didn’t need me to fight for them. Instead, maybe they just needed me to simply be with them.
The realization was unsettling, and I buried it in the back corner of my mind.
I had to stop Viktor, that wasn’t something I could just walk away from. And nothing, not even these beautiful people that I loved more than my own life, could take me away from that.
For all our sakes.