Chapter 30 Lily
THIRTY
LILY
Being famous has lots of perks.
One being not having to wait in line to get into a club and being ushered to the best table. I don’t know how I’m going to go back to the crowded main dance floor after experiencing the VIP section.
Private restrooms, fast service, plush seating, privacy, and a lot more room to breathe. This is what heaven is like.
Sipping on an espresso martini, I’m glad I decided to wear my oversize red knit sweater with a white tennis skirt. My long boots end just under my knees, along with my white socks. The AC is blasting, sending goose bumps along my sun-kissed skin.
When I walked out of my room, feeling all self-conscious about what all the supermodels were going to wear and how effortlessly beautiful they all seemed to be, Trinity made all my insecurities vanish when she whistled and called me a sexy school teacher.
Trinity’s confidence radiates through this entire club. Standing on a table, she sways her hips to the music, making a come-hither motion to Leonidas, and he instantly stands up from his seat.
“So, how good of a student is my little troublemaker?” Levi plops down beside me, holding a bowl full of green olives. Seeing the conflicted look on my face, he teases, “You can be honest; she’s not here right now.”
“I wake up excited to teach her every single day.”
A ghost of a smile brings up the corner of his lips.
“Stella is so smart for her age; she’s ready and happy to learn new things. I think you got a special one on your hands. Maybe a doctor … lawyer.”
“She wants to be a race car driver.” He avoids my gaze as he chews on an olive. “I promised her I would sign her up for lessons when the tour was over.”
“Have you changed your mind?”
He sighs. “I want her to chase whatever dreams she may have—you only live once. But a part of me is scared if she starts and she loves it and continues on seriously when she’s older … I’ll be living in fear during every race.”
I gulp, imagining little Stella in a fast race car. “Is it that dangerous?”
“Over nine thousand deaths have been recorded.” Avoiding my eyes, he places his elbows on his knees. “I wouldn’t be a good big brother if I didn’t worry about any possible outcome in any given situation.”
“And that’s why she’s so lucky to have you.”
From across the bar, where Amelia is chatting with her boyfriend’s bandmates, she looks concerned for Levi.
“She’s a kid right now, fearless and wild. If she wants to pursue this dream when she’s older, then I think a safety conversation is needed. But right now, all she’s going to be in are little go-karts,” I say.
His laughter is full of anxiety, and his eyes shine with moisture. “You’re right; she probably won’t even go above five miles per hour.”
“I’m due for another drink. Do you want me to get you anything?” Nodding to the bar, I stand.
He waves me off. “No, thank you. I actually don’t drink.”
Oh? I always saw him in tabloids and gossip magazines, drunk out of his mind.
“Alcohol was ruining my life, so I started living a sober one.” He clears up the confusion he must have seen on my face.
Oh my God! How could I be so dense and ignorant?
“I am so sorry for even asking. I feel so horrible.” I cup my cheeks, mortified. The feeling of wanting to cry almost makes me buckle to the ground.
Rising from his seat, he pulls me into his side with a chuckle. “Hey, hey. Please don’t cry. How would you know I’m a recovering alcoholic? In your defense, it was a valid question.”
“That is not making me feel any better,” I mutter behind my fingers, letting him pull me along to the bar.
“It should because it’s not like I have alcoholic tattooed on my forehead.” He laughs, squeezing my shoulder. “Go get your drink and stop being dramatic.”
“I’m sorry!” I yell at his back once more, earning me a wave, like it’s no big deal.
“Got into trouble in just under one hour of us being here. What did you do?” Elijah asks behind his own glass of what looks to be rum and Coke.
I take the empty barstool next to him, and like the world is on my shoulders, I deflate under his comforting gaze. “I just asked a recovering alcoholic if he wanted a drink.”
The sound of his drink coming back up his throat makes me wince. Wheezing with wide eyes, he shakes my shoulder. “You did what?”
“How was I supposed to know? Isn’t that something you should have told me?”
“Was I supposed to randomly blurt that out?”
“Yes!” I whisper-yell, glancing over my shoulder and finding Amelia cuddled up in her boyfriend’s arms. “It would have saved me from asking a completely inappropriate question!”
I love how he always seems to angle his body toward me when I’m near. It’s like an invisible force is pulling us toward one another, but everything that has happened and things that have been left unsaid are forcing us apart, like two opposite magnets.
“Let me reassure you, there are absolutely no other surprises you should know of,” he offers gently, tracing the top of his glass with his finger. “Actually, I do have something I should warn you about.”
“What?”
His cologne sends shivers up my spine when he leans in closer and speaks in my ear. “Axel has a tendency of hooking up with fans in public. If you don’t want to witness that—which I advise you not to—don’t look to your right.”
Whenever someone tells you to not look at something, it’s like your body has a mind of its own. Turning, I try to find Axel in the dark lounge, but then I wish I’d listened to Elijah because when I spot a girl bouncing on his lap, I feel barf rising in my throat.
“Oh my God!” Slapping both hands on my eyes, I turn in my seat so fast that I almost fall off. When the coast is clear, I drop my hands to glare at him. “What in the world, Elijah?”
“Don’t look at me like that.” He grimaces, pointing to himself. “I’m innocently sitting here.”
“Is that a kink of his?” I’m afraid to even ask.
I can’t even begin to comprehend how he feels comfortable with having sex in the middle of a room with all his friends around him.
“I don’t know, and I don’t want to.” He gags, looking extremely uncomfortable.
Shivering, he spins around until his back is to the room.
“Levi has almost knocked him out a couple of times, especially when they’re sharing a hotel suite and he’s outside, high out of his mind and fucking on the couch. ”
Stella.
A protectiveness that comes out of nowhere slams into my chest.
“Stella shouldn’t be near any of that. Kids are curious and have no fear. If she ever finds his stash of weed, she would probably have the urge to try it.”
“Levi grew up around drugs—not his.” He clarifies, “His mom’s. He got custody of Stella and moved across the globe. There is nothing he hates more than drugs and alcohol, so you’d best believe he would never put her in dangerous situations.”
“I never doubted that. I can see he’s a really good brother. The guy is always stressed.” I think back to our conversation and how he wasn’t afraid to hold back the strong emotions he was facing.
“Imagine when she’s older.” He taps his fingers in a beat I don’t recognize. “Poor girl doesn’t know what’s coming. I feel so bad for her.”
“Are you going to be mega protective if you have daughters?”
A faraway look crosses his face. Tilting his head, he avoids my gaze.
“When I pictured my life, kids were always part of the equation. But now, I’m not sure if I want to bring them into the kind of life I live.
It doesn’t matter if I hide their faces and identities; they will feel the negative impacts of this world.
Wouldn’t it be selfish of me to bring new life into my world, knowing Hollywood would destroy them sooner or later? ”
We used to talk for hours about the future, even if we were still kids at the time. Elijah made my heart grow fonder when he talked about kids; it made me feel safe around him.
His gentle, sympathetic heart was so positive and carefree.
Now it’s hardened or shattered—maybe both.