10
It was evident that the gentleman (completely a gentleman in manner) admired her exceedingly. —Persuasion
I’m getting my lashes done when my phone buzzes. It has to be Freddy’s reply. I am dying to read it, but also kind of not. Because how lame is it that he stood me up this morning.
My day had already started sour when my dad said I had to do something about my face. Which first: rude.
But second, I felt tired after tossing and turning all night, thinking about Freddy flirting with Rosie and Daisy and feeling so old and dowdy. And then to hear that from my dad, I lost all my confidence. I was half tempted to cancel on Freddy. So, when it was 11, and I still hadn’t heard from him, I was more than ready to go with September to get my lashes done. I was annoyed with Freddy, and even more annoyed with myself, that in the wee hours of the morning, I let myself believe that maybe we could make things work. The Freddy West I fell in love with is no more. The current Freddy West is nothing more than a spoiled, egotistical, thoughtless rock star.
I sent him a curt text, letting him know I was tired of waiting and decided to make my own plans. That was more than an hour ago. And still no reply, which makes me even more angry.
But now, I can hear my phone vibrating, and I’m stuck with the aesthetician weaving and dying my lashes.
“Hey! That’s your phone,” September says. “Want me to get it?”
“No!” I blurt out a little too forcefully.
“Oooh, I hit a nerve. Is this like a text from a guy?”
“No,” I say, even though there is probably nothing incriminating in my texts with Freddy. Also, why don’t I want to tell my sister that we once dated? Growing up, I was as much a mother to her as a sister. In the same way most kids don’t expect their mother to have a life beyond caring for them, September doesn’t really care about my life. She’s only asking to be polite. And I won’t share my history with Freddy with someone who is only going to half listen while scrolling through her phone.
“Dad seems to think you really like Johnny Love.”
“That is not a romantic relationship.” At least, I hope not. “He’s never said anything slightly flirtatious, nor have I.”
“But you don’t really flirt, do you?”
“I flirt.”
“Um no... You don’t. I mean, I get it. You never needed to flirt. All you need to do is show up and every guy in the room wants to date you.”
“That’s not true.”
“It’s more true than you realize.”
“But at college . . .”
“April, how much do you need to interact with a guy before he asks you out? Carlos told me that even Benwick, boring Benwick, who barely says more than two words, got up the guts to ask you out.”
Wow! September might have a point. But this is an awkward thing to learn about yourself at 27. I can’t flirt. I wonder what vibes I’m giving Freddy.
When my eyes are finally finished, I read the text.
freddy
I get it
Just three words. Not adequate at all. I deserve an apology. And why does he sound so sad and bitter? That text almost makes me feel like I need to apologize.
He sends another text.
freddy
What about tonight?
Ugh, I’m going out with Johnny Love tonight and as irritated as I am with Freddy, I’d rather see him than Johnny Love.
april
I can’t
And then, because I’m miffed at Freddy, I add :
I have a date
He doesn’t reply to this. When we get home, and he still hasn’t replied, I text:
Tomorrow?
freddy
I go back on tour tomorrow afternoon
april
What time? I can do early morning
freddy
Sure.
Ugh... Sure, with a period. He’s angry and hurt and I feel bad and then I’m mad. Because he’s the one who should feel guilty. I have to get over him. Suddenly, I am glad I’m going out with Johnny Love.
***
“How’s wedding prep?” Johnny asks as our dinner is served.
“Wow! Word travels fast.” I don’t know why I should be surprised. September and Carlos announced their engagement on social media with the bonfire photos. But I didn’t expect Johnny to keep tabs on my family.
“April, not much happens in this town that I don’t know about.” Johnny has a confident smile. “And I’m particularly interested in everything to do with your family.”
Could Johnny Love be interested in me, like for real? I find that hard to believe. His dead wife was the epitome of glamor, while I give off more girl-next-door vibes.
“They’re struggling to find a venue. What do you know? It’s hard to book a place for Labor Day weekend less than three months in advance.”
“What about your home? I hear Kellynch Hall is lovely.” There’s the slightest bit of accusation in this comment. Johnny offered to pick me up at my house for both of our dates. But wanting to keep things more casual between us, I offered to meet him at the restaurant.
“Well, yes, our house would work, particularly the gardens, if they were okay with a small wedding. But September has her heart set on at least 300 guests.”
“And you’re paying the bill,” he says with only the slightest hint of a question.
“Where did you get that idea?”
“I just know the way this business works. Your dad hasn’t had a new role for years. Rumor has it no one can convince him to go in front of a camera.”
He studies my face for a reaction.
“We’ve tried. But yes, he claims he’s retired.”
“What a shame. Your father is a rare comic talent.”
“Are you serious?”
“Almost as serious as your father is. That’s what makes him so sublime. He plays the ridiculous with absolute gravitas.”
I think of Dad earnestly delivering one of his Buck Harrington lines.
“I suppose that’s true.”
“And your sister, what does she do again?”
“She’s trying to be...” I clear my throat. “I mean, she is an influencer. But she’s just starting out.”
“Just starting out. So, she doesn’t earn enough to pay the bills. So, it all falls on you, April.” I set my fork down; I’ve lost my appetite. “Please, don’t be uncomfortable. I get it. I’ve been working since I was five, making peanut butter commercials. When I was fifteen, I bought my mom her dream home. That’s an awesome feeling.”
“I bet she’s proud of you.”
“My relationship with my mom is complicated.” He has a bittersweet smile. “She was a single mom trying to make it as an actor. One day, she couldn’t get a babysitter and brought me along to a casting call. That’s when I was discovered. She was happy with the money. But she kept hoping she’d get her break. We have this weird dynamic. She’s grateful but also jealous.”
I’m surprised that he is sharing so much with me. I expected Johnny Love to be more superficial.
“It would never occur to my dad to be jealous. He is far too confident in his superiority to everyone.”
Johnny barks a laugh. “I had heard you were clever. But no one mentioned your keen sense of humor.” Johnny’s praise pleases me. Also, who has been talking to him about me? “Your dad is a legend,” he says. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
He says this with such confidence it takes me back. Maybe my dad is right, maybe Johnny is interested in me romantically?
“Tell me about your son; his name is Remington, I think?”
“That’s right.” Johnny’s eyes soften. “He is seven and a total nerd. Want to see a photo?”
“Of course.”
He slides his phone over to me. “My screensaver is basically a slideshow of him.”
I take the phone and watch as it scrolls through photo after photo of a slight boy wearing glasses. Most of the pictures are of Remington by himself. A few are with Johnny, and then a couple with his mom. Julia Alvarez, the model turned actress, who could absolutely act. The whole world mourned when she died of breast cancer at 35. That was three years ago. Since then, fighting breast cancer has become Johnny’s number-one cause. He often dons a hot pink blazer for breast cancer awareness.
He has taken his time getting back into the dating scene. I respect him for that. I find I respect him more than I expected. And the way his face goes tender when he looks at pictures of his son. He suddenly looks like a real person and so much more attractive. Not Freddy West level, but let’s be fair, no one’s Freddy West attractive; he is literally the “Sexiest Man Alive.” I’ve got to stop comparing people to Freddy. I try to focus on Johnny for the rest of the dinner and not think of Freddy. Do I succeed? Of course not. But it’s a nice dinner.
As he pays the check, I receive a text from Freddy.
freddy
I’m sorry about this morning
april
You should be
freddy
My phone died and I slept in
Johnny looks at me just as I place my phone face down on the tablecloth. “Everything okay? You look upset.”
“I’m good.” I try to smile.
“Great! Hey, the evening’s young. What if we go somewhere else?”
I feel a frisson of excitement. Johnny Love doesn’t want our date to end. I’m seriously considering his offer when my phone buzzes again. I can’t resist. I flip it over. It’s another text from Freddy. Johnny’s eyes dart to my phone before he politely looks away. I know I’m rude for even glancing at my phone during what has been a really nice date. But curiosity gets the best of me.
freddy
To clarify that’s not an excuse just an explanation
freddy
I’m sorry
Truly
You deserve better
Ugh! Just when I’m ready to write Freddy off, he comes through. I slip my phone into my purse, aware of a new lightness in my chest.
“How about another night?” I tell Johnny. “I’ve got an early morning meeting tomorrow.”
“I see,” he says, lifting one brow. And I’m afraid he really does.