19
We know how difficult it is to keep the actions and designs of one part of the world from the notice and curiosity of the other. —Persuasion
Rosie is fine. A little more subdued than yesterday, but that could be explained by her head injury. She has a bad concussion. Also, she swallowed a lot of salt water, which does bad things to the lungs. So, a much quieter Rosie welcomes me to the hospital. I feel certain that I am a disappointment. Or rather that there is someone else she is hoping to see. Her eyes keep darting to the door expectantly.
“Have you heard from Freddy,” I ask.
She smiles slightly; it’s an enigmatic Mona Lisa smile—not quite what I expected.
“Yeah, he brought me those.” I note the frothy pink peonies in a plastic hospital drinking cup.
“Lovely,” I say, though knowing Freddy gave Rosie flowers deflates my mood. “And how is he?”
I sent him a text last night asking the same question. I haven’t heard back. I mean, I get it. After rescuing his new girlfriend from almost drowning, a text from his ex is hardly urgent. Still, I am desperate to know if Freddy is okay. It was probably no more than two minutes of him underwater, but it felt like an eternity, long enough for me to understand the contents of my heart. No matter how polite and handsome and decent Johnny Love might be, my heart belongs to Freddy West. And it’s insane because he’s interested in someone else, but that still doesn’t change how I feel.
“Freddy’s swamped,” answers September. “So is Carlos. Have you seen this?”
She passes me her phone, open to her TikTok app. She has a strange look on her face as if she is excited about something or hiding something. She takes it back and turns the sound on. “It’s better with the music.” Suddenly, I’m bombarded with Freddy’s voice singing Tsunami—a song I’ve always suspected was about me. He always told me that my hazel eyes were the same hue as the ocean. And like the ocean, they always changed color with my mood. “I am lost at sea without your ocean eyes,” he sings. There’s dramatic footage of him diving like a real-life superhero off the pier into the dark water. And then another clip of him carrying Rosie out of the surf. The song continues a slideshow with a series of photos of Rosie and Freddy together, including that horrible birthday kiss. It’s actually quite moving, but it turns my stomach.
“It’s gone absolutely viral!” September chirps gleefully. “There’s already been a million downloads of Tsunami today. All of Freddy’s songs are being downloaded like crazy. Carlos can hardly keep up. He is working to book larger venues for the last leg of Freddy’s tour. Plus, he has been fielding calls from talk shows that want to host Freddy and Rosie.” She puts a gentle hand on Rosie’s arm. “Once you’re better, of course.”
“Oh!” is all I can manage. That’s amazing for Freddy, but now, whatever his feelings are for Rosie, it’s obvious that dating her is good for his career. And if they break up and the stars align and somehow I end up dating him, I’ll be the evil has-been pop star other woman. I consider this for a moment and inwardly shrug. I can live with that.
I watch the video again. Wait a minute! “September! Did you create this?”
My sister looks as happy as I’ve ever seen her. And I saw her when she was four and got her first pink organza dress. When she got her first pair of Louboutins. When she met Taylor Swift. I know happy September.
“I did!” she almost screams. “And my followers have been exploding!”
“Wow! You filmed this?”
“I can’t believe my luck.” She beams. “Carlos is so happy with me. The extra income earned this weekend alone will pay for our honeymoon.”
I’m trying to wrap my mind around September filming this. I mean, I can imagine filming Rosie walking on the railing, but then after she fell in the water, to keep filming. Just now when I watched the video, I assumed a bystander took it. But September stood there and filmed the water with the panda floating on top while, for all we knew, Rosie had fallen to her death.
“I didn’t get the footage of Freddy carrying her out of the water. That was filmed by a stranger who tagged Freddy’s account. It was absolutely epic.”
I nod. It was. Freddy stepping out of the waves carrying a limp Rosie in his arms with the pastel sunset behind him. It could be the cover of a historical romance. I hand the phone back to September. I want to ask Rosie how she feels about the reel going viral. But she is not paying attention to us; her eyes are fixed on the door.
“Hi,” she whispers, a slow smile creeping across her face. Whoever she was waiting for has arrived. I turn my head, fully expecting to see Freddy. But, Benwick stands in the doorway, holding a brand new giant stuffed panda.
“Hey!” he says back. Their eyes lock, and I suddenly feel in the way. Also, when I stop to think about it, I’m a little annoyed for Freddy’s sake. Isn’t she Freddy’s girlfriend? What right does she have to look at Benwick like this? I mean, I know Rosie flirts with everyone, but this feels different.
I look at September to see if she is catching any of this. She is on her phone texting Carlos. She waves to Benwick as he sits at the far end of the room.
“Nice panda,” she says. “You know Carlos would have beat you if he had a little more time.”
“Benwick started later than everyone,” Rosie says.
“I don’t think so. We didn’t get there until almost eight,” counters September.
“Yeah, but he didn’t start playing until after Freddy told you guys about the competition. I’m certain of it.” There’s a sharpness to Rosie’s voice.
“Hey, hey,” says Benwick. “It hardly matters.”
“Yes! It does,” whines Rosie. “Everyone is always dismissing you. Underestimating you. And you... you... won me this panda.” Now Rosie is crying, and my only explanation for this is drugs and possibly her own guilt for always calling him Boring Benwick.
I want to point out that Freddy saving her life is a way bigger deal than Benwick winning her a panda. I bite my tongue, recalling that pointing out Freddy’s virtues to Rosie could be counterproductive to my ultimate happiness. And then it hits me: Freddy didn’t win the stuffed animal for Rosie; it was Benwick. I feel relief bubble in my heart.
“This is actually a new one. Your panda is out somewhere in the Pacific,” says Benwick.
“I hope the sharks don’t get him,” Rosie says, her usual cheeriness returning somewhat.
“I like to think he made it to his own private island,” Benwick continues. “And is living it up. Or maybe he has made friends with a floaty swan that also got lost at sea.”
“That’s definitely what happened,” Rosie sits up a little. “Want a chocolate? My mom brought some. They are scrumptious.” She pops one in her mouth and hands another to Benwick. She doesn’t offer one to September or me, which I take as my cue to leave and take my sister with me.
“Well, that was interesting!” I say as soon as we are out of earshot.
“What are you talking about?” asks September.
“Benwick and Rosie. Couldn’t you feel the tension in the room?”
September scrunches up her face in thought. “I didn’t notice a thing.”
“C’mon, the way she almost attacked you for saying Carlos might be better at arcade games. And then the crying?”
“No, that’s just Rosie trying to irritate me.”
“Rosie doesn’t try to irritate you on purpose. Why would she do that?”
“The same reason I like to bug her on purpose.” I’m certain September is wrong about this. No one tries to bug other people on purpose. “Why would anyone do that?” I live in daily fear of inadvertently hurting or offending someone.
“Rainy, you’ve got to stop thinking everyone thinks like you do.”
“Fine, but didn’t you feel a little spark there between Benwick and Rosie?”
“Rosie flirts with everyone. She’d be insane to choose Boris over Freddy West. Absolutely insane.” I can’t argue with that. But a girl can dream.