Casey
C ase, are you there?” Dad’s voice echoes from the other side of my door. “What’s wrong with your phone?”
I knew it was him when I heard the knock. Lily warned me he was coming, and I got caught up in… My cheeks flame as my mind goes back to moments ago.
Oh, God!
What did I do? How did that even happen? Why didn’t I stop it?
He had his hands all over me. His mouth…
It was like last night when the alcohol dulled my mind, or when I take my meds. His touch did the same, but it was even better because I wasn’t completely numb. I still felt the pleasure.
But like any drug, the consequences are harsh.
What must I look like? What must he think of me for allowing it? I have never done anything like that before. No one has ever touched me like that.
Will Dad be able to tell? Will he take one look at me and know I broke my promise? See my disheveled state and be disappointed in me.
My chest heaves as I gasp a shaky breath. Embarrassment and regret rip through me. My heart thrashes against my ribs, and fire erupts behind my eyes.
Thick fingers wrap around my jaw, dragging my gaze from the door to dark eyes that swirl with fury. “Stop,” he growls. “Calm down and go answer the door.”
I shake my head. “I-I c-can’t.” Graham’s jaw clenches tightly, looking angrier by the second. “H-he can’t know you’re here. Please.”
“Moments ago, you told me yourself you are not a child any longer, so why are you acting like one now?”
My mouth falls open, the tears burning my eyes threaten to spill. He doesn’t understand. My Dad would never be okay with this—no one would—and I can’t do that to him.
Dad knocks again, and I start shaking as panic takes over. Graham blows out a harsh breath, raking a hand through his hair. “Okay, okay.” He brings me to his chest, and my forehead falls against him without thought. “Breathe for me. Nice and slow.” His hands stroke up and down my back as he breathes in deeply, and I mimic the action, then exhale slowly. We do this several times until I don’t feel like passing out. “That’s my good girl,” he hums, still rubbing my back. After another few seconds, he pulls me away from him, then tilts my head back a bit. “Just tell me something, and be honest, because I know when you’re lying to me, ?”
I swallow hard, praying he doesn’t ask something I can’t answer. “Okay.”
“Are you afraid of Liam?”
“No!” I whisper shout with wide eyes. “Not like that. I’m only afraid of letting him down.”
“, you have one minute before I come in,” Dad warns, and I know he means it.
I silently plead with Graham to hide. Another growl rumbles from him, but he pulls away from me and stalks toward my room.
I take a deep breath, forcing myself to put every mask in place. If Dad smells even a hint of panic, he won’t stop asking questions until he gets answers. I’ve long crafted the art of keeping Dad safe from things that would hurt him. I just have to remember to do the same now because this would upset him. Graham may not believe I could disappoint my dad, but I know I can. I have before when I learned about him and Lily. I reacted so poorly. It’s not something I like to think about because those days of knowing I’d hurt him ripped me apart. And the look on his face… I can’t go through that again. He doesn’t deserve that from me. Not after giving up everything to make sure I was happy.
I wrap my fingers around the knob and yank the black metal door open. “Sorry,” I mumble as I step back, allowing him—and Uncle Henry?—inside. “I was in the bathroom.” I hope that will convince them my flushed face is a result of the hangover they probably expect me to have, and not my stepbrother that just had his mouth on my…
Shit . I can feel my face turning redder.
They step inside, and both of their eyes trail from my head—which I fight the urge to run my fingers through for fear it will give me away—to my pink and yellow sock-covered feet. Dad’s mouth twists as he lifts a brow. “Rough night, Case?” he smirks, holding my bag by his finger.
I take the tote, holding it close to my chest. Any other time, embarrassment and shame would consume me over that comment, knowing it meant he was more than aware of how much I drank last night. But right now, I’d so much rather he assumed I looked like this because of a rough night. Besides, he expects my head up and shoulders back. Eye contact, . Own your thoughts and feelings even if when you’ve done something wrong.
Ha! If he knew Graham was in my bedroom, or what he was doing to me moments ago, he wouldn’t spout that line.
Curling my toes, I swing my foot like a scolded child, playing it up. “Maybe a little.”
He hums as he walks further into the apartment. “I bet you did.”
What does he mean by that?
Sweat trickles down my spine as my heart speeds up from the anxiety building in my chest. My nails dig into my palms until pain bursts through my hands, giving me something to focus on besides the panic I have to choke down.
I can’t break my dad’s heart over something foolish and reckless. Not again. Especially over something that will never happen again. “I-uh… I thought you had some emergency at work to see about.”
Dad leans against the back of the sofa, crossing his arms over his chest and one ankle over the other. Uncle Henry continues for the kitchen. “Figured you needed something to eat since we heard you drank the bar last night.”
Wanting to avoid Dad’s amusement, I watch Uncle H as he stops at the island. My heart falls out of my ass when I see him pick up the white paper sack, identical to the one in his hand. His sharp, green gaze meets mine. His lips press into a thin line as his brows furrow, and I feel all the color leech from my face.
My mind scrambles, searching for the next lie in my arsenal, knowing he’s about to ask questions. Then he shocks me by picking up the bag Graham brought and taking it to the fridge. It takes genuine effort to keep my jaw off the floor, but when he turns around, he rubs the side of nose. Code for we’re going to talk.
Double crap!
“You okay, Case? You went pale all of a sudden.”
I force a tiny smile on my face and nod. “Yeah. The thought of food isn’t very settling right now.”
“I imagine not.” Dad tilts his head, looking suspicious. “But you still need to eat.”
“I will,” I promise.
Uncle Henry slaps a hand on Dad’s shoulder, getting his observant eyes off me. I have no idea how Dad hasn’t figured out all my tells with as hard as he looks. It must be a testament to my acting skills. It only makes Graham’s perceptiveness more frustrating. “We need to go before we’re late.”
“Not yet,” Dad tells him, and Uncle Henry rolls his eyes.
“Why do you have to go in on a Saturday?” I ask, hoping to distract from what I know is coming.
“Nice try, Case,” Dad grumbles. “We had a deal.”
“Dad,” I sigh, dropping my head into my hand and rubbing my forehead from the headache I feel coming.
“No. We had an agreement that you would stay away from him.”
“Liam, cut her some slack.” My head jerks up, and I stare at Uncle Henry in disbelief. He’s on my side?
No. There’s no way. The only difference between Dad and Uncle H is that Dad will just be disappointed and throw a fit. Uncle H might actually castrate Graham.
Ugh. More reasons whatever Graham has on his brain can’t work.
I don’t understand where all of it came from. When did Graham suddenly stop looking at me like some pitiful little girl? What I do know is once the thrill of the forbidden wears off, so will his interest. That has to be what this is because nothing else makes sense. He doesn’t like that I’ve kept him at a distance or that anyone is telling him no. I just have to wait him out. Whatever happened earlier cannot happen again. Soon enough, Graham will move on to girls who are actually his type because that’s most definitely not me.
“She didn’t do anything wrong,” Uncle H continues. “Besides, if anyone will make sure she’s safe, it’s the guy who’s been doing so since he was eighteen years old.”
This time, I can’t keep my jaw off the floor. I’m not sure a shovel could lift it from the ground.
“Back off, Henry,” Dad growls. Uncle H throws his hands up, but from the tightness in his eyes, I know that will only slide until they’re away from me.
“I’m going to wait in the truck. I don’t even know why I’m going to this shit. Not like it involves me.” He walks toward the door yelling hurry over his shoulder.
Yep, Uncle H is pissed.
I want so badly to drop my eyes to the floor. To look over his shoulder at the wall, through the window. Anywhere but at him, but I don’t. “Dad, it was just a ride home.”
“ We could’ve brought you home when we picked up Lily and Ashleigh. You would’ve been fine until we got there. He didn’t need to do anything. He’s the reason I almost lost—”
“That was a long time ago.” I don’t mean to snap, but a bubble of panic that Graham is within earshot tears through me. “I promise, Dad. I am not that girl anymore.”
Dad’s head falls back as he drags his hands down his face. His shoulders slacken as he blows out a breath. “Fine. As long as it was only the one time.” I grit my teeth and nod, knowing I have no one to blame for his worry but myself, but it’s already gotten annoying. “Now tell me what’s wrong with your phone.”
I quickly spill another lie about a pigeon on the balcony, knowing he’ll believe me since I’ve been terrified of those birds ever since a flock of them chased me through a parking lot when I was seven. Dad swears they weren’t really chasing me, but he didn’t see the look in their beady little eyes like I did. He tries to make plans to go get me a new one this afternoon, but I’m not letting him pay for a new phone. I’ll have to figure it out, so I promise it’s already handled. He doesn’t look convinced, but he nods, then kisses my cheek and leaves.
When the door closes, I lean against it, shutting my eyes with a heavy sigh. Lying has become so exhausting lately.
“Lying has really become second nature to you, hasn’t it, Sunflower?” My eyes pop open, finding Graham leaning against the wall that leads to my room. For the first time, I get a chance to take him in. He looks so much like he did when I was a kid right now. A bright blue, long-sleeved fitted tee clings to his body like a second skin, revealing his thick biceps and sculpted chest. The sleeves are pushed up to his forearms, allowing me to see the ink that trails his tan skin. He’s added quite a bit more since he had the family crest done on his left arm. Black gym shorts hang low on his trim waist, ending just above his knee, leaving the tattoos on his sculpted calves on display.
It’s strange to see him like this after all this time. For the last few years, I’ve thought of him as Graham the businessman. The casual clothes and tattoos don’t fit that image despite me knowing this is the real Graham.
I clear my throat and push off the door. “I can’t let him down. He’s given up too much for me to be a disappointment.”
“When will you realize you can’t disappoint him, ?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I stop at the kitchen island, grab the bag left by Uncle Henry, and go to the fridge. Opening the door, I set the bag inside and grab the one Graham brought. I turn, ready to walk across the room to him, only to find him right behind me, making me gasp. Just like earlier. “Geez, has anyone explained the concept of personal space to you?”
“I am familiar with the idea.” He eyes the bag in my hand, and before I can reconsider, I shove it into his chest. “We’re back to this?”
“Dad brought me something, so I don’t need this.”
He takes the bag, reaches behind me, and opens the fridge. “It can stay with the rest. You need it. I’ll have more food and a new phone delivered this afternoon.” I’m ready to tell him no when he leans back, his lips tilting at the corners as he shuts the door, then leans over me with a hand propped beside my head. My traitorous heart skips, and he notices. “Also, you need better protection than this.”
His other hand comes from behind him, and I want the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Mortification consumes my body with flames as he holds up the hot pink wand between us. I snatch it away and throw it across the apartment, pressing my lips tightly together as I collect myself. Finally, when I’m sure I can talk at a normal, unembarrassed level, I speak. “It’s not what you think it’s for.”
His lips spread, showcasing pearly white, sickeningly straight teeth. It’s disgusting how attractive he is, to be honest. Sculpted muscles, thick, perfectly styled hair, sharp cheekbones, wide, strong jaw. Not to mention he’s driven, super smart, and can charm the panties off a nun if he wants. He just seldom wants to. How is it fair to the rest of us mere mortals?
“And what do I think it’s for, Sunflower?”
“You know,” I mutter, my eyes drifting to the side because staring into his dark ones is just too much. “But I only use it on my calves and feet after dance.”
His head tilts, the smirk still wide as his tongue runs over teeth. “I’ll have to rectify that.”
My hands land against his chest with a thud. “Oh, no. I don’t know what came over me earlier, but that won’t happen again. It can’t.”
The smirk drops and darkness swirls. He really can’t stand being told no. “Why? Because you don’t want it? Or because of Liam?”
“Both. I-I got caught up for a moment. I’m sorry, but I don’t want you. If everything you said was true—”
“It was true, .”
“ If it was true,” I repeat, refusing to get caught up again. Refusing to allow myself to believe we could ever be more than… well, anything. “Then just forget it and let it go. You forgot about me four years ago. Just do that again.”
He jerks back, the darkness swirling his deep-set gaze turns to regret. “Do you think that, Sunflower? You think I forgot about you?” It’s not what I think, it’s what I know. But I don’t say it. I just lift my shoulder. “I didn’t fucking forget about you, , and I promise it wasn’t for lack of trying.”
“Okay, Graham,” I whisper, agreeing so he will leave. “I believe you, but I need you to forget about me now. And I need you to go.”
He steps back some more, and I feel like I can breathe. The muscles in his jaw twitch, and the tendons in his neck strain. Thick lashes sweep across his cheeks as he takes a deep breath. He turns and heads for the door, and I breathe in relief and disappointment, making my head pound.
Before he reaches the door, he spins on his heel. I don’t even have time to question what’s happening before his lips descend on mine. When he pulls away again, he presses his forehead to mine. “I’d sooner forget my own name than you. You are in my blood and bones, , and you have been for a long fucking time.” He pauses, raking his eyes over me, making me shiver. “But I’m not wasting my time arguing with you.”
I swallow the heartbreak and confusion his words cause and nod. “G-good because won’t help.”
He grins. “You misunderstand, Sunflower. I’m not wasting my time because you’re mine. You were mine before I knew I needed you. So get on board.” He lifts a shoulder and chuckles. “Or don’t. Because it’s already done.” He kisses my head and turns back toward the door. “See you soon, Sunflower.”