2. - #2
“I always did kind of wonder why memaw never remarried, but I can probably guess why,” I said to myself, mainly as an afterthought, as he handed me some of the plastic containers.
“Well,” Dad thought for a second, “as bad of a person as your mom’s dad was, she might have been afraid to.
Or,” he continued, “she might not have been legally able to remarry, as she was never technically divorced and no one ever contacted them to let them know he died. But, just from spending time with both of them for so long, I know that your mom really was her whole world. Well, that is, until you came along. And a lot of people who knew them and knew how he beat your memaw wondered why she didn’t leave.
I think she was terrified that he would hunt them down and kill them both.
Fear makes good people do things other people think are crazy.
She could have gone to her parents, but she was either too afraid or too embarrassed. That’s my theory.”
“Huh, I never really thought about the legal side of it,” I said, “but I do realize how important we all were to her. It’s strange how you can know someone so completely, but there are pieces of their lives that you can know so little about.
It seems like I would have caught inferences about some of this stuff, considering how much time we spent together, but I also know that Memaw had a way of keeping things buried that she didn’t necessarily want to come to the surface. ”
When we made our way back into the house, Mom and Rachel were in the living room, starting to pull some of Memaw’s things down off the shelves.
Dad asked gently, “Where do we want to get started?”
Mom shook her head and pointed towards the master bedroom, “We need to start with her clothes. If you don’t care, just take everything out of the closet and the drawers and start folding them. We’ll need to separate what we’re keeping and what will be donated.”
Dad and I started towards the bedroom, and Mom just stopped and threw her arms up, “I don’t know what to do with all of her shit.”
We all looked at her. “This is just too much to do at once. Are you all going to want this furniture?”
“Mom,” I started back across the room, and she held up her hand.
“I’m just overwhelmed; I just need to sort all of this out.” She sat on the small ottoman just behind her. “I’m just having a hard time accepting that she’s gone.”
“I know,” I said quietly, “but we don’t have to do all of this right now. And if it’s too much, Rachel and I don’t have to take the house; we can do whatever you want to.”
“No, it’s what your memaw wanted; it’s what we all want. You both need it, and it’s still a great house. There was so much love here, and it needs to stay that way.”
She put her face in her hands and just sat, motionless and silent.
My dad motioned for me, and we stepped into the kitchen. “Why don’t Rachel and I go out and grab some food. You stay here with your mom; maybe you can talk to her.”
“Sure thing,” I said, nodding my head.
Dad motioned for Rachel, and as she started towards the kitchen, Dad just said, “Claire, Rachel, and I are going to grab something to eat. Do you want something from that Thai place?
“Steve, I don’t even really like Thai; that was Mom’s thing.” She kind of smiled, to spite herself, “You guys get what you want; I’m not really hungry.”
“Well, I’ll keep you company,” I said, reaching for her hand.
We heard the door close softly, and I sat down in Memaw’s glider rocker.
It was an awkward moment. I really didn’t know where to begin, but I just said, “Mom, really, we don’t have to dive into everything right now; we can take our time.
We’re not on any sort of schedule. Hell, we can’t actually move out of the apartment for another two months without having to buy our way out of the lease. ”
“I know,” she hugged herself, “this is all so overwhelming; it’s like I don’t know where to start.”
I rubbed her shoulder. “I just don’t want you to stress over this; it’s hard enough dealing with the fact that we have to figure out a path forward without someone who was a huge part of our lives.”
“The two of you shared such a connection,” she said. “I guess I was a little jealous when we realized that you had the same gift she did when you were a teenager.”
“I never realized that,” I admitted, “and you know that Memaw would have taken a bullet for you, happily.”
“Moose,” Mom said, suddenly really serious.
She looked me in the eye in a way that she never had, and said, “Believe me, I know that. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone.
Your whole life, I never talked about the piece of garbage that my father was.
I think the only reference I ever made to him while you were growing up was how much better off and happier both your memaw and I were after he left.
I never wondered about him, and never once missed him.
I honestly think he hated me, and I only ever remember him being drunk and abusive.
But the thing that I never even told your dad about was the last time I saw him.
And I must admit that because of this, I was probably a bitch to your dad when he asked about him, and I really didn’t mean to.
Your dad has never been anything but supportive of me. ”
“I’ve seen that my whole life, Dad adores you,” I said quietly.