10. - – Mackenzie
CHAPTER TEN
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MACKENZIE
Someone once told me that the road to recovery is long. They didn’t lie. It is.
What they don’t tell you in those stupid handbooks is that recovery will never go away. It’s a battle I have to fight every day.
The one thing I can now say proudly is that every day, I wake up a winner.
I left the hospital six months ago. After what Elijah told me, and how much he wanted me to be safe, I set my mind on doing everything the doctors ask me to.
For him.
Because for me, I didn’t feel like I fully deserved to be saved. My soul was too dark for that.
Killian left me alone after I made a complaint about him; he ended up leaving in handcuffs, escorted by the police. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who had experienced his bad side.
I was the only one who had his name carved into my thigh, though, but despite that, a part of me misses him, something in my heart longs for the darkness he offered me. That part still craves him, and I wonder if a man like him can ever be redeemed? I guess that’s something I will never find out.
My hand opens. I look down at the meds in my palm, four tablets that I take every day to keep the bad out, to chase away the dark thoughts and make sure I have light in my life.
My mind drifts back to the last moments I saw EJ, him looking at me with so much love in his eyes.
I wonder if I will be able to find someone else to look at me like that?
I plan to when I'm ready.
Turning my hand, I place the pills on the bathroom sink, then lift them to pull my long ponytail tighter to my head.
Tonight, I am going out for drinks and dinner with my roommate.
The place we live is a little halfway house that the hospital makes us stay in before we leave to find our footing on our own.
This was my first step to recovery, to being in charge of my own life.
“Mac? Are you ready?” Erin shouts up the stairs. I smile at my reflection as I call out.
“Yeah, just coming.”
I look at myself in the mirror, and I can’t believe what I am seeing.
A smile on my face, one that looks happy.
This look is one that I am slowly getting used to feeling.
Turning, I rush out of the bathroom and down the hall.
Mackenzie Green is happy at last.
The End.