Chapter 17
Chapter
Seventeen
Kolya
It had been five days since Chloe kicked me out of the carriage house.
She relented and allowed me to see Sebastian.
While she was at work and Sebastian was with Sorcha, I got to play with my son.
I was staying at the main house, much to Kirill’s annoyance.
He still didn’t like me around when his wife was working in the basement.
So he sent me on pointless errands. Like collections without intimidation. It was so boring. That was grunt work. To which he responded, it was better than my moping and stalking Chloe on the surveillance cameras.
He caught me a couple of times, slouched in his study with my laptop as I watched her and my son.
Thunder rumbled in the distance.
Especially this evening, with violent storms in the forecast, I wanted to make sure Chloe was okay.
I didn’t see Seva today because Chloe was working from home.
No way was this distance working long term.
I was already feeling phantom limb syndrome.
And it wasn’t just about Sebastian. It was Chloe.
I missed her. I kept replaying that scene in the bedroom before everything went to shit.
After fucking her to oblivion, she lay cuddled against me.
I liked that. I liked that very much. Something inside me cracked and expanded. A warmth different from the time Sebastian had called me “Dada.”
Lucy had put in the request to Margo. The matchmaker recorded the request but didn’t give us a date when she would get back to us.
Hmm…maybe intimidation could be useful there.
I opened the covenant Chloe signed with Margo, checking for contact information anywhere.
Did I need to make an appointment? I scoffed.
Nah. Showing up unannounced was more my speed.
I could ask our new IT guy to hack into Margo’s appointment book although there were anecdotes cautioning about going that route.
Appealing to the matchmaker’s good side was the goal.
A streak of lightning lit up the room. Pounding, torrential rain followed a reverberation of thunder. The storm had started.
I switched back to the surveillance cameras.
The live video confused me. Chloe was feeding Sebastian? Or was she eating while watching Sebastian crawl around the floor? Her plate was on the padded floor of the playpen. She was sitting on the backs of her heels and staring into space.
At least she wasn’t cowering. I remembered her shuddering against me during the last thunderstorm. I hated that for her.
Another streak of lightning flashed across the sky. Thunder rattled the windows. That was close. But my eyes were on Chloe and Sebastian.
She barely flinched. No, she hadn’t moved an inch. Shouldn’t she be gathering Sebastian in her arms? She was still staring into space. Shit. A sliver of memory crept into my head. The time she was staring at the kettle of boiling water.
Movement on the screen cut off that memory. It was Sebastian crawling over and picking up something from her plate. I couldn’t tell what it was.
Fuck. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Concerned, I slammed the lid of the laptop and raced out of the house. I had the keys, so I didn’t need to knock or anything. I was dripping, so I toed off my shoes and padded to the living room.
Chloe was still staring into space.
And Sebastian…what the fuck.
A sinister calm blanketed my nerves. Fury threatened to surge, but I tamped it down as I hurried to my boy. He was struggling. He was on his back. His face was purple from the effort to breathe. He was choking!
I picked him up, flipped him over, and started pounding on his back.
“Kolya!” Chloe shrieked. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Our son is choking, and you’re letting it happen.” I turned away from her. I had shut down every emotion, like my Petrov kin would do in this situation. The chilling condemnation in my voice didn’t sound like me at all. I was the protector. Protecting my son from a threat.
His mother.
“I…” she gasped. “I was eating…”
Something dark and oval projectiled out of Sebastian’s mouth. He erupted into tears and wailed.
“It’s okay, Seva,” I mumbled, relief flooding my veins. “Papa’s got you.”
“A grape,” Chloe whispered. “I…I…how?”
“You don’t know?” I spun on her, and I didn’t even disguise the disgust I was feeling. “You don’t know?” I repeated. “Then maybe you shouldn’t be watching our son. You don’t trust me? Well, fuck you, Chloe! I don’t trust you either!”
“That’s not fair,” she cried. “I really don’t—”
She dug her fingers into her hair, and with the ghostly bolt of lightning, I didn’t recognize her. She reminded me of an unhinged person who’d lost control. Eyes wild. Mumbling nonsensical stuff. Excuses.
I was too furious to listen to them. She was unfit to take care of a baby.
“I’m taking Sebastian,” I told her. “He’s not safe with you. At least at the house, there’s Sorcha.”
“You can’t do that!”
“What the hell is going on?” Dora entered the house, lowering her umbrella, although with the condemnation on her face, it appeared she wanted to beat me with it. That riled me further. These two were supposed to be the pillars of a women’s shelter, and they couldn’t even keep a baby alive.
“Sebastian was choking when I arrived, and Chloe just sat there watching our son struggle, doing nothing.”
Worry furrowed Dora’s brow, and she paled. “Chloe?”
Tears streamed down Chloe’s cheeks as the downpour persisted, but I anesthetized myself against the anguish crumpling her features.
I hardened my jaw.
“Come here,” Dora spoke to her gently and led her to sit. “Talk to me.”
I scoffed. All this mollycoddling. My son wouldn’t live to see his first birthday if I didn’t take him now. I headed to the nursery.
Sebastian was still bawling, so with one arm carrying him, I started throwing things into the baby bag. There was already a diaper bag ready to go. I just needed some clothes. Come to think of it, I could just ask Sorcha to pick them up later.
I realized I was panting and my heart felt like it was about to catapult out of my chest. What happened to unemotional under stress? Fuck.
I regulated my breathing and dropped shorts and shirts into the bag. Sebastian made a high-pitch gurgling sound and my eyes went to him. He had stopped crying but his eyes were still shining from his tears. He was studying me curiously, a telltale smile on his face.
My heart splintered.
What the hell was I doing?
I was taking a baby away from his mother. Me, who didn’t carry him for nine months—and God knew what his birth was like. I never asked. Me, who didn’t nurse him—and how many months were those sleepless nights?
Me on my high horse, who killed people for a living, thought I could take Sebastian away from his mother.
But if I hadn’t arrived, Sebastian could have died.
I lowered my son into the crib.
He immediately rolled over and pulled himself up, peering up at me.
“What do I do, Seva?” Deep down, I was still livid. Something was wrong with Chloe. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. But who could I trust to give me the truth?
Dora? She would lie through her teeth to protect Chloe.
Marena? That woman didn’t like me, but she had to be honest, right? However, Theo was Sebastian’s legal guardian, and I couldn’t risk having him take my son away if Chloe was an unfit mother.
I didn’t know how long I contemplated my options as the storm raged outside. I didn’t even hear the light knock at first. I wasn’t ready to confront Chloe because I couldn’t erase the vision of her sitting expressionless while my boy was choking.
There had to be an explanation for this.
“Kolya?”
I sighed. It was Dora.
I opened the door an inch as if ready to block the woman in case she thought she could resume being Sebastian’s caregiver. The incident alone was a big red flag that would push custody in my favor, and I could demand to have the arbitration date moved forward.
But a part of me didn’t want to use this incident to harm Chloe.
“What?”
“Is Sebastian okay?”
“He is.”
She looked troubled.
“Is there something you want to tell me?” I opened the door wider and leveled her with a piercing stare. The stare I used in interrogation, because fuck her, I was out of patience for excuses.
Dora’s eyes clouded with something akin to fear.
Though I expected a similar reaction, dread crowned my heart in a thorny vise.
It was a feeling I wasn’t used to experiencing.
A feeling that crept up on me ever since Chloe and Sebastian entered my life.
It was about attachment. I protected the bratva.
Sure, I showed concern—for Kirill, for Ivan, and especially Aralina, but the fatalistic nature of the bratva tempered it.
People died. Sometimes unexpectedly. Aralina nearly died in the house fire, and then again on the rooftop.
We could only hope for non-violent endings, but I didn’t want the same for Chloe. For Sebastian, I was still coming to terms with it because he was a Petrov.
The old woman rolled her lips as if trying to find the right words.
Impatient, I said, “Does Chloe disassociate like that? Because I’ve caught her once and wrote that incident off.
It was strange because I attributed it to the attack on her apartment and lack of sleep.
But what happened out there—” I pointed at the living room “—was more than boiling water on the stove and forgetting.”
There. I said more words than I normally did and gave her more time to confess.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” Dora said. “I thought the fallout between you two—”
“The fuck? Stop putting the blame on me—”
“You didn’t let me finish!” Dora snapped.
“She’s been forgetful and more agitated as of late.
The only time I’ve seen her zone out was in the apartment, and it wasn’t even alarming.
It’s like she had her mind on something and forgot why she went into the kitchen.
We’ve seen this postpartum.” Her face took on cynical lines.
“You wouldn’t understand the trials of being a new mother—”
“You mean she has postpartum depression?”
“Marena doesn’t think so. She thinks Chloe is just overwhelmed with what’s going on in her life.”
“Is Marena even qualified to assess mental health?”
Dora glared at me. “Don’t make me sound stupid, Kolya! Of course I know that. We found her a psychiatrist, and she had her first session the other day.” She blew out a breath. “Maybe the pills have an adverse effect.”
“She was prescribed pills? Who’s her doctor? And for what?” Fuck this. I should just get the facts from Chloe. “Watch Sebastian. Is she in her room?” I shouldered past Dora to go to Chloe’s room.
“She left.”
I froze and slowly turned. That fear. That fear that I wasn’t supposed to feel exploded from the anchor-weighing sensation in my gut and turned my blood to ice. “What?”
“She said she needed to get away.”
“You let her leave in this weather?” I headed to her room as if I didn’t believe her. The house was empty. “She’s afraid of storms.”
“I couldn’t stop her, okay? She even took my car because her purse and keys were in Sebastian’s nursery.”
Chloe didn’t want to face me. “What the hell were you thinking?” I snatched out my phone and dialed Chloe. A phone rang in the nursery.
Fuck!
“She doesn’t even have a phone!” I called the guard manning the gate. “Did Dora’s car come through there?”
“Yes.”
“How long ago?”
“Around five minutes.”
I ended the call and spun on Dora. I was anything but composed right now. My insides were as frenzied as the tempest outside. “Did she say where she was going?”
“No.”
I called Sorcha. She didn’t answer. So I called again. I wasn’t about to leave my son with Dora. At this point, I didn’t trust the woman either.
“Kolya?”
“I need you here in the carriage house.”
“What’s going on?”
“I need to go after Chloe, and I don’t trust Sebastian with anyone else.” I held Dora’s eyes. They flared with outrage, but tact wasn’t one of my qualities. Not as an enforcer.
Sorcha knew better than to ask questions, and said she was on her way.
“Is there a tracker in your car?” I asked Dora.
When she hesitated in answering, I added, “I’m all out of fucks. If I have to—”
“You think after being abused by men like you I’m going to make myself easily tracked?”
I ignored the “men like you” comment and put in a call to our tech guy, Ilya.
“I’m still working on your—”
“Forget my other requests,” I said. “I want you to track this car.” I gave him Dora’s name and plate number.
“On it.”
My next call was to Lucy.
“This is a surprise.”
“Are you at the house?”
“Yes?” Her voice turned wary.
“I need you at the carriage house.”
“What’s going on?” Lucy sounded like she was on the move. I never called her, so the criticality of the situation must have bled over the line.
“Something happened, and Chloe left.”
“In this storm?”
“Yes.”
“What did you do?”
“I fucked up. Dora has the details.” I headed for the door. “I need you to find out everything about Chloe’s therapy visits and what meds she’s taking.”
“I’m not sure…”
I glanced at Dora while I spoke, “If she’s on anything that endangers Sebastian, I have the right to know.”
Lucy gasped and, like Sorcha, didn’t ask needless questions. “Got it.”
Dora thinned her lips before offering a brief nod.
I ended the call just as Sorcha arrived.
“Where’s Sebastian?” she asked, worry etched on her face.
“In the nursery.”
By this time, my heart and lungs were competing for space.
“Look, I’m not defending how I blew up on Chloe,” I told Dora.
“I should have heard her out...but I was trying to calm down.” Before I said words I couldn’t take back.
I’d already done enough damage. Damage I wasn’t sure I could fix.
My brain couldn’t even process what I’d said.
I dug the heel of my hand into an eye socket, trying to erase the vision of Sebastian choking.
“I was trying to calm down,” I repeated.
My nostrils flared. Then images of Chloe’s stricken face sent several stabbing sensations through my chest. “And…” I dragged in an almighty breath because the unfamiliar anxiety pulsing inside me was making it difficult to breathe. “I’m going after her.”
The mother of my son.