Chapter 27
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
Chloe
“We’re almost ready for the grand opening,” Dora told me. We finalized our operating procedures for Renewed Hope so we could send it off to Theo’s legal team for approval.
I rounded my desk and dragged the second chair that was in front of it beside me. “Are you okay with being the CEO?”
“I am.” She peered at me with concerned eyes. “But are you okay with this? It was our plan—”
“But I’m not ready; you’ve been at this longer than I have.
” I squeezed her hand briefly. “I’ve been looking at this all wrong.
I thought being the face of the foundation meant I was done hiding, so I pushed to open one.
But I have to consider what’s best for the NGO.
Sebastian and I—we have built-in detractors. ”
Detractors were putting it mildly.
“Marena wasn’t my fault,” I continued. “We still don’t know why she targeted me. But my life is about to get more complicated and I can’t risk the foundation.”
“You’re marrying Kolya?”
“Maybe.” I watched for her reaction. “I don’t see disapproval.”
“I have a skewed perception of the bratva. I don’t know the reason you ejected Kolya from the house. All I can see is how he’s been a great dad to Sebastian.”
“And we didn’t need Marena to tell us that.” That faker. She’d set out to undermine Kolya from the beginning.
“Let’s not mention her again,” Dora said. “But we repeated all our background checks given these recent threats, and Theo had instructed his HR department to do high-level vetting.”
Anyone with huge debts was scrutinized further.
“I’ll definitely be around months after the change in CEO is announced,” I told her.
Dora stood. She’d been a busy woman. I didn’t know what I would do without her. This was really her baby. I just provided the funds and connections.
“You might be busy.” She grinned.
“With school, maybe.”
There was movement at the door. When I recognized my visitors, the blood drained from my face.
“Ivan?” I swallowed when my gaze fell on the woman beside him. “Mrs. Zahkarova?”
What were they doing here?
Dora shot me a hardened glance that said, “Do you want me to get rid of them?”
“Call me Irina, please,” Ivan’s wife said.
She and Dora exchanged unflinching stares. I wondered if Irina had been friends with the wife of the man who forced Dora to become his mistress.
“Please come in.” I stepped behind Dora to give her a light nudge. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
When Dora left, I extended my arm to the cozy sitting area in my office. “You must be swamped with wedding preparations. I’m surprised to see you here.”
Ivan and Irina sat on the long couch. I sat in the armchair opposite them. An odd desire to giggle seized me because it looked like I was a therapist about to counsel a couple, but I suppressed my humor because I was curious about the reason they were here.
Well, I knew the reason, but I thought the effort was coming from Theo.
“I’ll start,” Irina said softly. “Aralina told us you talked.”
“We did. I’m not saying we had profound insights about our past. But it’s a start, especially since we’re becoming family.” And I said family without wanting to vomit. I said family, and I actually believed in it.
Relief crossed Irina’s features. “That’s why we came. With the wedding in less than a week, I want to put whatever heartaches of the past behind us.”
“Can I offer you both anything to drink? I only have coffee and water at this time,” I added. I still couldn’t look at a tea bag and not shudder.
“We can’t stay long,” Irina said. “There’s that dinner tonight. You’re coming, right?”
“Kolya and Theo mentioned it.” A sheepish smile touched my mouth. “I told them I’d think about it, but…it’s because I wasn’t sure about…” I pointed at both of them.
“That is why I’m extending the invitation in person,” she said.
“You’re such a gracious person, Irina,” I said. I could almost see where Aralina’s aura came from.
“Not always.” She laughed lightly and nudged Ivan, who’d been quietly observing our exchange. “Give it to her.”
“What?”
Ivan produced a check and put it on the table. I imagined it was a donation for the foundation. “This is not a bribe for you to come to the party or stop being mad at me—”
“I’m not mad at you anymore,” I said. “This resentment was something I built up in my head, but seeing Aralina. I can’t…” I just shook my head in bafflement. “I realized how unfair it was to hold someone responsible for my misery who hadn’t even been born.”
“It was my fault,” Ivan said gruffly, smoothing out the check before retracting his hands and curling them into fists on his knees. “Please don’t think I never cared for your mother or you.”
I gave an audible gasp as my eyes flew to Irina’s face. Her eyes filled with tears.
“We’ve talked about it over the years. It doesn’t hurt like it used to anymore.” She sniffed. “But the hurt never goes away.”
“Why are you telling me this? Because Renée might have caused a rift between you two, but you let it happen, Ivan.”
Irina and Ivan exchanged looks. And she picked up one of his clenched fists and interlaced his fingers with hers.
Their love was clearly a mature love that had gone through the death of a child and the shadow of a perceived infidelity.
But through it all, and even if it pained me to say it, it was clear they adored each other.
“It wasn’t about Renée,” Ivan said. “It was more about you, Chloe. I would never have gotten over Roman’s death, and I might have destroyed the bratva.
In a way, you helped me channel my grief into love.
Many couples’ relationships don’t survive the death of a child.
And no, you shouldn’t feel guilt for my mistakes. ”
“I’m not feeling shame anymore,” I said.
“Sebastian has taught me so much. His existence brought us danger and scandal, but I don’t feel an ounce of resentment.
Only love. He is innocent. I never believed that for myself.
I always thought I was a stain on other people’s happiness, like Theo, Esther, and Jeremiah.
That they had the right to hate me. Even you, Irina. I’ve occupied Ivan’s time.”
“I don’t think blame is the right term,” Irina said.
“You’re right about resentment, though. The idea that another woman and child were the ones who healed my husband when I couldn’t.
But over the years and with much therapy, I understood that what we experienced was a complicated tragedy.
Ivan blaming Kirill for Roman’s death. Kirill being my son, but Roman is not.
We couldn’t grieve the same.” Tears tracked down her cheeks.
She produced a handkerchief to dab at the corners of her eyes. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I nodded, my own tears falling. I reached for the tissue dispenser, set it on the coffee table between us, and snatched a few pieces out for myself.
“Ivan couldn’t look at Kirill and not think of Roman’s death, and I couldn’t forgive Ivan for blaming our son and for sending him to Russia in a bitter winter to suffer. I froze Ivan out, and he was alone in his grief.”
“We both were, solnyshko.” Ivan’s eyes were glazed with tears, and his face was red.
This was an unexpected unloading. I could have stopped it, but it was a long time coming. I was just sad Renée wasn’t around to hear it. My chest was heavy with an emotion akin to grief, but maybe it was also what closure felt like.
“Even when I loved Roman as my own, it’s still not the same.
” Irina hiccuped. “I could still go to Russia and see Kirill. I left Ivan here with no one. I knew Duncan had asked him to look after Renée. At that time, I didn’t care.
I was even relieved. I couldn’t comfort him because I was so angry at him. ”
“Mourning and coping are different for everyone,” I said.
“We let it go on so long. Years. Then Ivan wanted to try again. That was when I gave him an ultimatum. I knew he was still looking after Renée. I did not think about the consequences to you. I just wanted my husband back.”
I gave an incredulous laugh. “And you have every right to demand it.” I inhaled a deep breath and then cleared my lungs again in order to expunge the complicated emotion that had congealed like concrete inside of me.
“So, yes, I will go to the dinner tonight.” I cast a look between them. “Thank you for reaching out.”
Irina stood up abruptly. “Oh my God, there is much to prepare.” She rounded the coffee table. She dried her eyes. “Thank you, Chloe.”
“Thank you for telling me this.”
Irina leaned in, and we both exchanged quick hugs.
But when it was Ivan’s turn, I wasn’t as in control of my emotions as I thought. The second my eyes collided with the tenderness in his, the dam inside me ruptured.
“Ivan.” His name caught in my throat, and he dragged me into a bear hug. I sobbed.
“I miss you, Chloshinka,” he said gruffly. I may only remember glimpses of him in my memories. But my heart remembered the longing and heartache I had harbored for a long time. All these weeks culminated in this moment of closure.
When we pulled apart, he was also crying. Irina was quietly sniffling beside us.
“You can visit Sebastian whenever you want,” I said.
His smile softened his fierce face. “I would love that.”
After they left, I sat back behind my desk and stared at the screensaver on my laptop.
Melancholy occupied a chamber of my heart that Renée didn’t get this closure.
I was still coming to terms with it myself.
I knew I had to face Irina and Ivan at some point, and I’d been willing to delay all the way to the wedding.
Kolya never pushed me, although he told me he was fond of Ivan, but he thought Irina was too good for him.
Lev, one of my bratva security, appeared with a vase of black roses. Flowers didn’t seem to be Kolya’s style, although I could see him go the grim reaper route. I’d been making fun of his all-black attire recently; maybe this was his attempt at humor.
“These have been scanned,” he said.