Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Derek Hawkins hovered above the woman he only knew as O and held back a frown at the expression on her face. This wasn’t the look of a woman sated and worn out from a long night of sex. No, she looked as if she’d seen a ghost and wanted to be anywhere but where she was.
And considering that he was buried balls-deep inside her, the condom still warm from his come, he wasn’t feeling so pleased with that fact.
Her tight pussy was currently wrapped around his dick, her inner walls clamping down on him in waves as she came down from her own orgasm.
All of this was happening as she looked at him but didn’t meet his eyes.
Why the fuck wouldn’t she meet his eyes?
He shifted slightly, still inside her, and traced his finger along her cheekbone. When she didn’t lean into his touch, didn’t look at him, he knew something was wrong.
Had he hurt her? Had they gone too fast, had he been too rough? They’d gone harder before, faster even, but maybe he’d missed a cue somewhere? He quickly pulled out of her, ditched the condom on the side table thanks to some convenient tissues, and checked her over.
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He hated the way his need for her bled into his voice.
They weren’t a couple, weren’t anything except two people who respected one another and had fun even though they kept their distance.
He liked what they had, even if part of him wanted more, and still another part knew he needed to walk away before he hurt her.
But that didn’t mean he’d let himself hurt her now.
She turned her head to the side and looked at him, confusion on her face. For some reason, that settled him down more than anything she could have said.
“No, of course, you didn’t hurt me. You never hurt me.
I like what we do.” She cleared her throat and sat up, pulling the sheet up with her.
Somehow, during their first round, they’d tossed the comforter down to the floor and had slid under the sheets.
That didn’t always happen since they usually went at it against a wall or on another piece of furniture first, but this time, they’d gone for the bed.
He didn’t like the fact that she’d covered herself with the damn sheet, though.
He liked seeing her dark nipples and light brown skin completely bare.
Yeah, the contrast of the cream sheets against her darker skin was hot as hell, but he still didn’t like that she felt as if she needed to cover herself up.
“Then why won’t you meet my eyes? I know you came, but didn’t you like what we did?” He hated how insecure he sounded, but he was just coming down from his own high, and he wasn’t thinking clearly. He never thought clearly when it came to O.
And fuck, he’d asked her to call him Derek, demanded it more like. He wanted her to know him, wanted to know who she was. He was getting too old for their game, and from what he knew of O, he liked her.
But he had a feeling he’d changed the game and not for the better, and now he was probably going to get screwed over—and not in a good way—because he’d taken that step.
She turned then, meeting his gaze full on for the first time since they’d gotten into bed. “I think I need to go.”
He blinked. “Was it because I asked you to call me Derek? I figured after all this time, a first name would be okay. Though you never told me yours.” He paused. “Are you going to?”
“We’ve had fun…Derek. But I think this needs to be the last time. The last month.” She slowly slid out of bed and started pulling on her clothes. All Derek could do was stand there, naked, his dick still wet, and his hands fisted at his sides.
She was hiding something from him. Not just her name, but something…else, and he wanted to know what. He wanted to know her. And now she was running? Wasn’t that just his damn luck? As soon as he decided he wanted more, she decided to run away.
Of course.
“You’re kidding, right? We’ve been doing this…how long? How many years? What happened that made you change your mind?”
Once again, she didn’t meet his eyes, but she did turn, her back exposed, and he let out a curse.
Without words, he went to zip up her dress, annoyed with himself for doing so.
He wasn’t an asshole, was far from it according to his friends, but he felt like one now.
He wanted to growl and yell and make her tell him what was wrong.
But he knew that wasn’t going to help anything, and if he wasn’t careful, she’d walk right out of this room tonight and out of his life forever.
The thing was, he had a feeling she just might do that anyway.
And there was nothing he could do about it.
When she turned in his arms, he had to hold back from sucking in a breath. He always did when it came to her. She was so damn beautiful with her dark hair tumbling down her back, her wide eyes, and her light brown skin that was so damn soft he could caress her for hours. Had touched her for hours.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “I always forget to wear a wrap dress or something without a zipper for you.”
“I like undressing you,” he said honestly. “I thought you liked it when I did.”
She let out a sigh. “I do. I did. But this needs to be the last time. I’m sorry, Derek. I just…I need to go.”
She moved to walk around him, and because he knew he was a big dude and tended to crowd people even when he didn’t mean to, he took a step out of the way so she could grab her bag.
“So this is it? I tell you my name, and now you’re done. Because I thought what we had was good.”
“It was good. But now, our time is over. Don’t you think we should move on? Find something that’s not…this? What we are. We’re not getting any younger.”
If he didn’t hear the emotion in her voice, didn’t hear the fact that she sounded as if she were about to fucking cry, he’d have called her cold. But she was leaving for a reason, and she apparently wasn’t going to tell him what that was.
And he had no idea what to do to find out.
Fuck.
“At least tell me your name. That’s all I ask.” It’s all he could ask for, though not all he wanted to request.
She met his eyes again, and this time, he swore he should have known more just from that look alone, but he knew he was missing something.
“Olivia.”
He let out a breath. He should have known she’d be an Olivia. The name fit her perfectly, but he still didn’t know why she was leaving.
“I’m coming back next month,” he said quickly. “Even if you aren’t here, I’m coming back. Because I like what we have and I don’t want it to end.”
“But we have to stop,” she whispered.
Have to. Not want to. But she wasn’t going to tell him why. Didn’t matter if he deserved an answer, he wasn’t going to get one.
Then she went on her toes, kissed his jaw, and walked out of the hotel room, leaving him standing naked, cold, and shocked to his core.
He finally knew her name, and now she was gone. Maybe forever.
And he had no idea what the fuck he was going to do about it.
Derek punched the bag in front of him, pissed off and muttering to himself, low enough that the rest of the gym couldn’t hear him.
“That wasn’t our bargain,” he growled with another punch. Anger coursed through his veins, and he forced himself to keep his form so he wouldn’t hurt himself. His hands were his business, and screwing them up because he was angry and hurt would only piss him off more.
He’d left the hotel soon after Olivia, making sure he picked up all their things.
She hadn’t even left a single earring behind when she’d run like the hounds of hell were on her tail.
He’d checked out of the room, ignoring the knowing look from the overnight clerk that he hadn’t met before.
Then, he’d gone home and tossed and turned all night, thinking of what he could have done differently.
He liked O, Olivia, wanted to know more about her.
He liked their relationship, or whatever it was they had.
He liked knowing that once a month he’d go to the hotel where he first met her, and they’d have each other for those few short hours.
She was not only the best sex he’d ever had, but he also liked her smile, her laugh, and the way her eyes danced when they flirted.
And while part of him had always wanted to know more about her, he also liked the safe distance they kept between the two of them.
Their deal had been the longest relationship he’d ever had.
The fact that he hadn’t had another person in his life over the last four years might have been because of her, or it might have been because of his own issues.
He had enough on his plate without adding someone with strings and commitments who would need to rely on him for things he couldn’t give.
And yet he’d been able to commit in his own weird way when it came to Olivia.
He’d shown up every month for four goddamn years, and she’d always been there. It had been the healthiest, longest commitment he’d ever made, and yet it hadn’t actually been a commitment at all.
And then she’d just walked away because she was done.
He couldn’t help but blame himself. He must have done something, said something. Maybe telling her his name had made it all too real. Maybe she’d needed the fantasy more than he had. He didn’t know, but now, all he could do was hope to hell that she showed up next month.
He had a feeling that these next four weeks would be hell on his nerves.
“Hell.” He let his fist fly one last time before hitting the showers. He usually worked out after work so his hands weren’t sore, but he’d been stressed out and needed some form of release that didn’t have anything to do with his fist wrapped around his dick.
By the time he headed into work and parked behind the shop in their tiny private lot, he was still on edge and knew his friends and coworkers weren’t going to let him get out of telling them what was on his mind.