Chapter 4 #2
As Derek had licked over that ink, he’d admired the work, thought it looked familiar, and now he knew why. Small world.
“They’re the best. I’m just glad they let me stay.” He was silent a bit longer as he tried to think about what to say, what he wanted to say. He was good with words when it came to other people, but with himself and his own needs and desires? He was beyond lacking in that department.
Maybe if he could get his head around what he actually wanted, he’d be able to say what he needed to, but that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.
Worry covered her face, and he stepped forward, cupping her cheeks between his hands before he thought better of it.
“What’s wrong?”
“I…I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I can’t either.”
“There are things I need to tell you.”
He nodded, his eyes on hers but not truly hearing the words. He was so damn selfish when it came to Olivia, and he knew it.
“Later.”
And because he couldn’t help himself, he kissed her, needing her touch more than the air he breathed. When she put her hands on his chest, he was afraid that she might push him away, but she didn’t.
Instead, she kept her palms on him, not pushing or pulling, just resting, so he took that as an agreement.
He deepened the kiss, his hands sliding through her hair as he pressed her back gently against the door.
She moaned into him, and he pulled away slightly so he could bite down on her lip where she had before.
When she let out a slight gasp, he licked over the sting and then sucked, loving the way her eyes darkened.
He kissed down her neck to her shoulder, tugging the strap of her bra over slightly so he could reach the spot on her skin that always made her shudder beneath his touch.
He knew this part of her, knew so damn much, but yet he knew it wasn’t enough.
Because there was more to life than great sex, and though he and Olivia had the best of it, he wanted more from her and with her.
Hadn’t he wanted more when he told her to call him Derek?
That had been the trigger, he knew. The reason she’d pushed him away.
And he needed to find out the why of it.
Once he pulled away, once he was able to think clearly and not keep kissing and tasting her skin like he was currently doing, he’d be able to ask her, be able to find out more about her.
But he couldn’t stop his hands from going down her curves to cup her breasts, molding them in his big palms. And, yeah, he had big hands, but her generous tits overfilled them.
He fucking loved that. He loved sliding his dick between them in the hotel shower as he fucked her tits and how she would lower her head to suck on the tip of his dick.
It was always so damn sexy, and she was the one who usually initiated it since she liked it, too.
Then he’d suck and bite on her nipples until she came without him even touching her pussy.
He’d heard that was hard to do with women with larger breasts since, apparently, their nipples weren’t as sensitive in most cases, but not when it came to his Olivia.
He groaned at the memory of two months ago when he’d fucked her tits for the final time. He’d come on her skin, pearly liquid flowing down her breasts and over her nipples until he was spent. Then he washed her fully, making her come again with his hands and mouth.
They’d both been exhausted by the end of it and had curled up in bed together, only to wake a couple of hours later and make love again.
And then the two of them had parted ways, their only promise that there was to be no promises other than a month’s gap in time.
Things had changed this last time, and as he kissed her again now, rocking his hips into hers, he knew that things had changed yet again.
He just didn’t know what they were going to do about it.
That was why they needed to talk. Why he needed to pull his mouth and hands away from her and actually listen.
He needed to stop being such a selfish dick.
So he pulled away, breathing heavily along with her as he rested his forehead on hers. “That…that is something we’ve always been good at.”
She seemed to shrink in on herself at his words, and he leaned back, worried that he’d hurt her. “Olivia? Did I fuck up? What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “No, you didn’t. I need to talk to you, though. I really, really do before you kiss me again and before I let you kiss me.”
Worry crept up his spine, and he was about to say that they should head to the living room and sit down so she could tell him what could possibly put that look in her eyes, but his phone buzzed a familiar pattern, and he let out a curse.
“Shit, I’m sorry, it’s my mom. I can’t let it go to voicemail.” He had reasons for that, but they were far too complicated to tell Olivia just then.
She seemed to pale even more but gave him a tight nod as he answered.
“Mom?”
“I need you to come to the house.” Her voice was a shallow rasp, and he knew he didn’t have much time to get to her. He never did.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Just lay down. Okay?”
She didn’t answer, but she never did. Not since…well, not since their world had changed, and Derek had lost what he’d thought was his future. He hung up and put his phone back into his pocket.
“I’ve got to go. My mom needs me.” He shook his head at Olivia’s look. “I’ll explain one day.” He hoped. Maybe.
“I understand.” And for some reason, he thought maybe she did, but he didn’t know how she could. “Just…there’s something I need to tell you.”
He kissed her hard one more time. “Okay.” She let out a relieved breath. “Next month.” When she stiffened again, he hoped he’d done the right thing.
But as he walked out of her house and back into the reality fate had given him one sunny day that had changed everything, he knew that he’d have to think about exactly what he wanted from Olivia—and for himself.
Because she was different, that much he knew. Putting her at arm’s length for so long hadn’t been wise for either of them, but maybe it had been what they needed. But now, maybe they needed more.
He didn’t know, but he promised himself that by the next time he saw her, he’d know exactly what he wanted and he’d make sure that he never hurt her. He’d seen enough hurt in his lifetime, and he never wanted to be the cause of it for another.
Never again.