Chapter 19 #2
“Well, Mum gets lonely. Now she’s retired, she has the whole day stretching out in front of her.
She was always so busy working, and I guess we never noticed she doesn’t really have any hobbies except for swimming.
And now, I’m gone all day and all night and weekends too.
Her old workmates pop over, but they still have their jobs and their families.
The sisters are like companions to her during the day.
They’re so sweet to her.” My explanation was the partial truth, at least. Still, my chest roiled with guilt.
“But she’s not like us, Tim. She’s not that social. Besides her work and swim friends, she never sought out new people. She loves her independence and is happy with her own company.”
“I know, Amy, but I feel like she needs a boost at the moment.”
“So, you’re saying she’s a bit down?” She slumped.
“Maybe she’s lonely. Maybe she misses Dad.
Do you think? It’s only been two years.” Her eyes pooled.
“I know I still miss him like crazy. Something good happens, or even something bad, and I just want to pick up the phone and tell him first. He was such a good listener, and he always knew the right thing to say to make you feel better.”
She wasn’t wrong. Our father hadn’t been perfect—no one was—but he’d made sure we all felt secure in how much we were loved. I knew that was a rare trait in a man of his generation.
“I miss him too, Ames.” I felt an intense pressure at the backs of my eyes, and I started to tear up.
In the last days of his illness, when he’d asked me to look after Mum and Amy after he was gone, I’d told him I’d do everything he would have done.
And now, after this show, everything would be settled.
“Hey. The show’s over in six weeks. Maybe I’ll bring Mum down to visit you in London. ”
“I would love that. But, Tim, coming here tonight, I feel horribly guilty. You’re doing everything.
And I’m worried it’s driving you a bit bonkers and you’re morphing into sensitive emo boy.
” She reached up and ruffled my hair. “Next, you’ll be dyeing your hair black and wearing eyeliner. ” She was diverted, which was a relief.
“Tim, honey.” Mum opened the sliding door. “I did your laundry. It’s all folded too.”
Amy grinned. “Oh, now I see the perks.”
I wasn’t out of the woods. Mum could give away that I lived here.
“Thanks, Mum, just leave it there.”
Please don’t take it to my room.
“I’ll leave it on your bed,” she called.
Oh shit. I kept my head down, waiting. She was gone a while, and it was obvious she was putting away my clothes in my old room.
“Wait.” Amy’s forehead pinched a question. “You’re living here?”
I shrugged, trying to be casual. “Yeah, I’m renting out my place for a while.”
“Why? For the money? You’re doing so well. And I know, because I do your accounts and taxes.”
“This is the problem with having your sister know everything about your business.”
“And by the way, I know I do a great job, but you pay me too much,” she said.
“You’re worth it, except when you start giving me life advice. And hair advice. Maybe I will do a black dye and grow it long.”
“Tell me more about the reality TV show. I heard Tabitha Balfour has joined the production.” She arched an eyebrow.
“Yep.” I’d wondered how long it would take her to get to that, but at least she wasn’t zeroing back to the subject of money.
Her eyes widened suggestively. “And? Come on, now you’re all emotional, Tim. I want to hear how you’re feeling about her constant presence.”
I shrugged grumpily. I wasn’t seeing Tabitha constantly—that was just in my thoughts. We only saw each other on weekends, even if we did text during the week. Although, I had nearly kissed her earlier.
“And nothing. We don’t get on. She’s contrary and obstructive and impractical and is making a lot of unnecessary work for me.
I tell her that. And she doesn’t like it.
” I felt a slight pang of guilt. Even after the tile debacle, I kind of respected her for sticking to her guns, for having a vision and not backing down.
Amy made an exaggerated pout. “Wow. You tell her. Ooh, Timmy. Why don’t you pull her pigtails too, so she knows you liiiike her.”
“What?” I went wide-eyed at her. “What are you talking about?”
She flung one of her hands, like it was so obvious. “You’ve spent your whole life half in love with her. I see your face whenever someone in the village happens to mention her. Now’s your opportunity to finally do something about it when you’re both single at the same time.”
My whole life half in love with her? Nonsense. When I saw Tabitha, I wanted to argue about everything that came out of her mouth. But then…then I wanted to say sorry and wrap her in my arms and squeeze her tight and tell everyone else to go home so we could…
Shit. Where did that come from? God, this job was really warping my emotions.
I gave Amy an overblown look of surprise. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. She lives in London. Plus, we have nothing in common.”
“You’d be great together if you could just get out of your own way.”
“Come on, Amy. She’s highly educated, went to that fancy finishing school, and then uni for seven years to get that architecture degree. I left school at sixteen. Do you know the sort of guy she wants?”
Amy recoiled. “I met that last guy in the street a couple of times. Percy?”
“Perry.”
“Right plonker. Horribly pretentious.”
I grunted my agreement. “She’s editor of the Home and Garden section in a national newspaper, and I can’t even…
well…you know. She lives two hours away and, as a trust funder, seems to have endless amounts of dosh.
According to her parents, she has her own flat in London, and I bet it’s some swanky penthouse in Chelsea. ”
“Tim, you own your own house. You have your own thriving business, and I know of what I speak. Are you—the most confident guy I know—telling me you don’t think you’re good enough for her? C’mon.”
“No, it’s not that.” Was it?
No. I knew her type, and I was not it. “We’re in different orbits. She’s over there and I’m over here. Remember I told you about that masked ball where I saw her?”
“Yeah, of course. At the castle of that revolting duke who’s now in prison, good riddance.”
I shuddered. “Yes. Well, I was dressed in Grandpa’s butler’s uniform, and Tabs was in a really glamorous, fancy red dress that I’m sure is just one of many, and she looked so comfortable in that high-society setting.
It wasn’t like I was uncomfortable there, but that kind of thing isn’t my style.
It just doesn’t interest me to immerse myself in that world.
And she’s in that world—she’s part of it.
I could never make her happy. She’d never be content with a regular guy like me. ”
Her head fell back in disbelief. “That’s absolute rubbish. You’re a bloody brilliant bloke.”
I shrugged carelessly. “Just calling it like it is—we’ve always run in different crowds.”
During high school and her university years, I was always struck dumb around Tabitha, or I’d say something idiotically boorish when I saw her in town with her fancy mates.
I’d even turned up to her house a couple of times during high school holidays.
Once, I was so embarrassed when her sophisticated friends came to the door behind her that I pretended I was offering lawn-mowing services.
There were those two weeks she came back home that summer when she finished uni, though, and was applying to jobs in London, but I was pretty sure Tabitha had completely forgotten about that time.
Or pretended to. Or maybe she only remembered the very end, hence why she was angry and combative with me.
“I still think you’re perfect for each other. You’ve six weeks to convince her that you guys belong together,” Amy said. “You’re a fucking idiot if you don’t take this opportunity.”
“Oh, nice. You swore. Telling Mum.”
She gave me a smug smile. “And don’t play innocent with me.
Tell me something, Timothy. You are the boss, you employ eight men and two women, and still, you’re doing the Balfour job yourself instead of supervising one of your lucrative new constructions.
Which you like doing, which you specialize in, which you are known for.
You are not known for renovating run-down old houses. So, your denials don’t add up.”
For a second, I didn’t know how to answer her. Why was I doing this job?
Because I felt some loyalty to Tabitha’s family and wanted to make sure it was done right.
“Amy, you know you are just playing a detective in this TV show. You’re not actually one in real life.”
After finishing this job, I could go back to focusing on my business…
and I’d be freed up at night to maybe try to spend more time with Tabitha, to see if we could be friends after all.
A big emptiness yawned in my chest. Friends.
Who was I kidding? I didn’t want to be just friends with her.
But that wasn’t something I should think about now.
I had to forget about all that for six weeks.
In the meantime, I had to handle this myself, because that was what I promised my dad, and that was the man I wanted to be.